A Murder...(Of Crows)
As I left the convenience store, I noticed a large crow perching in a scraggly looking, probably dead, tree, in the vacant lot across the street. Our eyes locked. I never saw a crow with such large yellow eyes before.
The bird flew towards me quickly and I think maybe would have attacked me had not another customer left the store just as it came within six feet of me. I dropped my bag of a six pack of (thankfully) canned beers, which, obviously, I wouldn't be drinking as soon as I had originally planned.
I got into my car, trying to put the incident behind me, but the crow had other plans. It flew along my window the entire five miles to my house, in fairly heavy traffic. Obviously, I had no idea why it targeted me. My only theory was that it was attracted to my rather long reddish blonde hair, maybe for a nest it was building. As if that wasn't enough, it also attracted a crowd of other crows that, I guess, just wanted to know what was going on, or just chose this event as their entertainment for the day. 'My' crow was having none of it. As soon as another crow got too close for my...unwanted companion's...comfort, it would attack the other crow viciously, pecking at its' head. I saw two of these crows as they flew away. They both flew in a crazy pattern for a few seconds before regaining their composure (or whatever it may be that crows have) and flying relatively normally again.
By the time I got home it was already dark...oh, how I longed for daylight savings time at that moment, and the crow was still hovering around my car, but at least the murder trailing behind was now gone. What could I do? There was no one else on the street at the time, nor was there likely to be anyone around anytime soon as I lived on an isolated cul-de-sac with only five houses on it...and two of them vacant. Being an almost (or actual) painfully shy introvert, I didn't know my neighbors' phone numbers. I wasn't about to wait all night in my car for this psychotic crow to fly away. I decided to exit my car screaming like a crazed banshee (are they any other kind?) and hope for the best.
As you may have guessed, 'the best' failed to happen. The crow simply ignored my screaming. Before I could re-enter my car, the crow flew at me, ignoring my flailing arms trying to shoo it away. I discovered the hard way that this crow had no interest in my hair, but another unique feature of my head:
My steel blue-green eyes.
I can't complain too much, though.
I still have one.
© 2024 Gary Newsom
