7 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
Writing your own vows can be a challenge if you don't know where to start. Use these seven tips to de-complicate the process.
Photo by Porapak Apichodilok
You did it! You found the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now, the big day is near and your vows are not ready. You want to make sure that your vows are as perfect as the rest of your wedding day. You've searched for vow-writing guidance and have come up empty. Calm down, breathe, and think about what you love about your partner. How do they make you feel? What would your life be like without them? How do they make you smile and laugh? This is your day to pledge your love to your partner in front of the friends and family who have come to celebrate your joyous moment with you.
Timing Tip
Haste makes waste—try your best to not write your wedding vows the night before the big day. With so many distractions, your heart and your head may be jumbled and distracted.
How to Craft a Stellar Wedding Vow
- Write from the heart. Your wedding day represents the epitome of the love between you and your future spouse. Anything you write should be honest and from your heart, because that is what will make your words special. Think of all the things that made you fall in love with them in the first place. I attended a wedding where the bride and groom spoke the words with so much emotion that it elicited sniffles and teary eyes from the whole room.
- Brainstorm. Before you sit down to write everything, make a list of the things about your future spouse that you love, then make a list of the commitments you want to make. Figure out what parts of those lists you really want to include (keep in mind that the vows are read in front of families and friends) and keep those. Whatever you chose, just make sure that it shows how much thought was put into preparing.
- Keep it short and sweet. It doesn’t take many words or a lot of time to make your heart known to everyone present. A lot can be said in a really short time, so don’t feel like you have to make the vows any longer than they naturally come out. The two of you are the stars of the show, but it wouldn't hurt to be considerate of your guests.
- Insert humor. Include a description of a moment when something happened that made you laugh. It takes the pressure off of being totally nervous and fumbling, and it makes the moment even memorable for the two of you. For example, if you two were dining at a restaurant and unknowingly bumped into each other and drew unwanted attention, that would be a funny incident to mention.
- Use words of commitment. In your vows use words like "together," "always," and "with you." Also, add reassurance for when times get rough. This lets your partner know that you want to do specific things together. Words of commitment are like putting a beautiful bow on a gift. It assures your partner that you are in this together.
- Pledge your future to your partner. The next part of the vow should contain some thought for the future. Phrases like "raise a family together," "enjoy our grandkids," or "love you for a lifetime" would fit well here.
- Add that finishing touch. Last but not least, conclude with "as long as we both shall live." This is the completion of the vow. It signifies that you intend to share the rest of your life with your partner.
Share Your Ideas for Feedback
You and your partner can read your wedding vows to each other to get feedback—make changes as needed, and stick with what sounds and feels good.
Don't overthink it! Keep your vows short and write from the heart.
Celebrate the Good Times
Now that the weight has been lifted, it's time to celebrate with the love of your life. You did it! Your day was filled with love and the vows were flawless. There is no right or wrong way to write your vows. As long as you put your heart into it, everything will work out fine.
