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Funny Facebook Status Ideas

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Funny Facebook Status Ideas for your Facebook Wall

If you are looking for Funny Facebook Status Ideas then your search starts here. You will find all the Funny Facebook Status Ideas and Updates, facebook love status messages, strange facebook status ideas, cute facebook status updates, clever status ideas, Plus weird and funny news stories about Facebook! Want some funny videos to post on your facebook wall? And last but not least... Funny pictures for your facebook wall! So go ahead and read the full collection of Facebook Status Messages and Updates to get ideas for your facebook wall.

Please Enjoy My Funny Facebook Status Ideas and Updates

Check out these links for the funniest facebook and twitter one liners:

44 funny Facebook statuses

Top 10 of the funniest updates

19 lol really lol twitter one liners

Get your facebook stash, gear, products, and books here.

My Favorite Facebook Status Updates

My Favorite Facebook Status Updates

My Favourite Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Some of the best Funny Facebook Status Messages I have seen!

Tomorrow I'm gonna write a blog post about procrastination.

"What you think about, you talk about and what you talk about, you bring about"

You can not get lost on a straight road.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough

Some days... You just don't have enough middle fingers... ya know?

"vampires suck" is gonna be an epic movie

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

The funniest Facebook status

The Funniest Facebook Status Update Ever

Never make eye contact while eating a banana

Funny Facebook / Farmville Picture

Funny Facebook / Farmville Picture

Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Facebook status messages that make me laugh!

My children are quiet. They've either figured out how to play together nicely, or have killed each other.

is going crazy... wanna come?

I have a theory that the world would be a safer place if everyone were forced to take IQ tests and had to display their results as warnings to the population.

I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here. So am I.

Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?

will be using the all knowing Magic 8 Ball to make all decisions today!

I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

Funny Love Facebook Status Ideas

Funny Love Facebook Status Ideas

Funny Love Facebook Status Ideas

Ah, to be in love and share it on Facebook!

All YOU need is love. All I need is beer.

My heart is yours to Fill or Burst.. To Break or Bury.. Or wear as Jewelry.. Whichever you prefer.

I'm just trying to keep it together... cause I can do worse and you can do better.

I love you now, I loved you then! I'll love you forever 'til the end!!

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

says nothing is more romantic than letting you know that I love you ... via this Facebook Status update

Your like a candy store and I'm like a toddler. You got me wantin' more:)

I love my wife

Why isn't there some cheap and easy way to prove how much she means to me?

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention on driving.

On the road of life, it's not where you're going, but who's by your side that makes the difference(:

My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.

Wouldn't it be good if Ctrl+Alt+Del worked for ex husbands

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

Weird Stories Involving Facebook! - Oh but we do love our Facebook!

  • Funny Status Ideas for Facebook
    So who here is addicted to Facebook? Please raise your hands... ok you can put your hands down! I can't see them anyway! Haha I got you on that one didn't I? We all know Facebook is the hottest thing going...
  • Cops: We Found Serial Killer on Facebook
    Philippine authorities have arrested a man suspected of murdering 9 people this month-all thanks to his Facebook account. Mark Dizon, whose alleged victims include a Canadian, an American......
  • The busted Facebook-glamorous "Barefoot Bandit"
    The busted Facebook-glamorous "Barefoot Bandit" started life as a pitiable little boy, beaten and hungry, who turned to thieving as a way to survive, the New York Times reports.....
  • Woman finds husband's other wife on Facebook
    A Cleveland woman plans to file for divorce after finding Facebook photos of her husband marrying another woman at Disney World.
  • New Hampshire Police Dept Posts Mug Shots on Facebook
    Some people who're getting face time on Facebook aren't happy about it. The New Hampshire town of Boscawen is posting mug shots of people who've been arrested.
  • Feud over Facebook ends in ex-husband's arrest outside Delray Beach school - Sun Sentinel
    A Boca Raton man followed his estranged wife to their daughter's school and attacked her after she added her ex-boyfriend to her list of friends on Facebook, police say.Police say Zaheer Ali, 34,
  • Funny Facebook Status Updates (Rated R)
    Looking something sharp and witty to post on your Facebook Update Status? Then look no further! A growing list of funny and sometimes rude quotes that will have your friends nodding their head in approval (or perhaps shaking their head in disgust).
  • Facebook T-shirts
    Home of the Funniest Facebook T-shirtsFunny Facebook T-shirts for Men and Women including Farmville T-shirts and Mafia Wars T-shirts! Make sure you click on each section! Check out the mens facebook tshirts, the womens facebook t-shirts, Farmville T-
Strange but Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Strange but Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Clever and Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Sometimes funny, but always strange facebook status ideas

says, "This too shall pass gas."

is hoping that he doesn't have to slap your momma tonight.

thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!

dodge-duck-dip-dive & dodge.

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you up side the head, remember I had a reason.

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

Facebook T-shirts - Great Facebook gear

Funny Videos for your Facebook Wall - Love to share funny videos on facebook?

Watch these funny videos, then post them on your facebook wall!

Funny Facebook Jokes

Funny Facebook Jokes

Funny Facebook Jokes

Do you like Facebook Jokes?

Facebook has agreed to launch an application that will allow young users to report predatory sexual behavior to the authorities.

In a related story Roman Polanski has just canceled his Facebook account.

60 percent of users are thinking about leaving Facebook. The CEO of Facebook said it will make changes starting tomorrow. If the percentage of people leaving goes past 80% it will start calling itself MYSPACE.

About 50% of parents "friend" their children on Facebook. The other 50% find less technological ways to embarrass their kids.

If Facebook is the Upper West Side and MySpace is the Bronx, then Tagged is a trailer park in New Jersey.

Want more Facebook Jokes?

Facebook VS MySpace - So which is better? You decide!

Facebook in the news

July 31, 2017      Daily World News      $15.00

Facebook Takes Over the World

Global corporation giant Facebook, is now the parent company to every major brand of products sold in stores anywhere in the world. That's right... Facebook now owns the entire business world.

Facebook owns Pepsi, Coca-Cola, Doritos, every brand of candy bar you can think of, they even own all of the internet like Google, Squidoo, Yahoo, and MSN. With the recent hostile takeover of Google, Facebook has the last hold out company firmly within it's control. Facebook is now, indeed the owner of the whole world.

In Local News...
Local manufactures, Garden of Eat'n, have began distribution of the new and improved Candy Bar Food Inhalers. "You taste everything, but you don't swallow -- it's absorbed in your mouth," owner Mark Zuckerberg said. "You have that full taste without having all of those calories." (see pg. 2)

Local Woman Hit in Head by Flying Saucer
A local woman was rushed to the hospital suffering from...(see pg. 2)

Local High Temperature Expected Today: 122F

Kanye West Debuts New Material at Facebook - Kanye West performs new material at Facebook headquarters

This funny video really cracks me up, but it's not the act Kayne West is putting on, what really makes me laugh about this video is when the ladies come up and think they should hold the table Kayne is standing on. Like them putting their hands on the table is going to save Kayne should the table give away! Now that's funny!

Gifts and toys for Facebook addicts

Fun Gifts for Facebook Fans!
Featured below are fun gifts for anyone who enjoys using facebook! Great for Facebook addicts like me! Check out the video camera! One of my favorite toys!

Fun "This Sucks" Facebook Gifts from Zazzle

See more funny facebook t-shirts

The Founding of Facebook: - The Accidental Billionaires: A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal

A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal The Founding of Facebook: The Accidental Billionaires

Upload Funny Videos Straight to Facebook - With the Kodak PlaySport Zx3 Waterproof Video Camera

I recently purchased this exact pocket video camera! I love the post straight to facebook feature that comes with the software for this video camera!

What is your current facebook status?

Lee from Derbyshire, UK on January 15, 2014:

Hehe very funny idea for a lens, know how to make my friends laugh now ;)

anonymous on May 25, 2013:

Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest. check out for more: www.voiceable.org/cute-facebook-statuses.html

anonymous on May 15, 2013:

I'll start to use that feature on Facebook timeline as soon as it comes up. www.hack-facebook-password.org , great post keep it up ! :D

Gabriel from Hobbsville, NC on February 01, 2013:

So cool thanks so much. Yes I will be using some of them. Thanks again

AnonBlogger on December 05, 2012:

These are amazing. I might put some of these on a T-shirt :)

OrganicMom247 on November 27, 2012:

Food Drunk! >> because i went to a japanese buffet :))

OrganicMom247 on November 27, 2012:

Food Drunk! >> because i went to a japanese buffet :))

hackforuberstrike on November 14, 2012:

that's a great video. cheered me up no end. thanks and a like for that :)

topgameslist lm on November 08, 2012:

Nice lens. Thanks!

anonymous on November 05, 2012:

Women eh! Boob jobs, nose jobs, teeth bleaching, tummy tucks, liposuction, colonic irrigation, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellys and clits, eyebrows plucked, bikini wax, armpits shaved, lips tattooed, legs waxed, diets, exercise and they wont take it up the ass cause it 'hurts'.

makemoneyonline5 on October 28, 2012:

Great lens on facebook, have to say my top fav social site is HPP now, but i can access fb through that anyway, so don't miss out on friends updates etc

homesweethomebi1 on October 23, 2012:

Love this lens. Good clean fun for facebook.

FB-Explorer on September 16, 2012:

This is too much for just one sitting. I've got this on my favorites list. Thanks!

anonymous on September 15, 2012:

Free AMAZON kindle version of a book you should all read "101 things to DISLIKE about Facebook. Funny humor, a stocking stuffer type gift. Love it!

tyrosine on September 08, 2012:

Ha! I just watched the vid on failblog you posted and it made my day. Thank you!

DMVAgent on August 27, 2012:

nice lens! very coll-interesting lens.. you did a very nifty job in this, i will post this link to advertise more! this is cool.

Frank Edens on August 16, 2012:

This is great! I will definitely be sharing a couple of the statuses lol wp4fb

anonymous on August 11, 2012:

Good stuff, me and my boyfriend are both addicted to facebook and we use facesoftware which makes facebook more fun. Just google facesoftware

anonymous on July 01, 2012:

Great Stuff!

http://funnyfacebooklaugh.blogspot.com/

anonymous on June 28, 2012:

This is awesome!

funny facebook status

Max Wong from Singapore on June 22, 2012:

This is one of the most funny youtube I ever seen! :)

kessa22 on June 16, 2012:

I have a theory that the world would be a safer place if everyone were forced to take IQ tests and had to display their results as warnings to the population. - the best:D

Edwinrocks on April 29, 2012:

great lense...enjoyed reading this one

queenofduvetcover on April 23, 2012:

This is great! I will definitely be sharing a couple of the statuses lol

jostan258 on April 18, 2012:

If the pen is mightier than the sword, how is it that actions speak louder than words?"Funny facebook status "After reading this sentence you will realize that the the brain doesn't recongnize funny statusa second "the"

BestMusicHits on April 13, 2012:

huh it's not easy , lately I was not adding any statuses , but I remember one :

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at! guess who's the author?

360xbl on February 15, 2012:

hahah this is too funny thanks for the share

MelonyVaughan on February 11, 2012:

Great lens! Really enjoyed the videos!

desa999 lm on February 02, 2012:

Enjoyed your lens with some really funny topics.

mylinkcenter on January 30, 2012:

full of surprise...!

anonymous on January 17, 2012:

On the road of life, it's not where you're going, but who's by your side that makes the difference(: Don't change yourself when your life style changes into a better perspective.. And don't forget the ones who were there to be with you all the while..your friends..

anonymous on January 17, 2012:

On the road of life, it's not where you're going, but who's by your side that makes the difference(: Don't change yourself when your life style changes into a better perspective.. And don't forget the ones who were there to be with you all the while..your friends..

Maurice Glaude from Mobile, AL on January 14, 2012:

So many funnies in one place make my tummy hurt. Loved it!

jadehorseshoe on December 24, 2011:

VERY Nice Lens.

squidooblogger on December 02, 2011:

The cat video is really funny :)

Close2Art LM on December 01, 2011:

Loved it!!! Blessed, please add it to my Squidoo Lensmasters on Facebook page, Awesome page!!! Great Job!!!

nerdterd28 on November 30, 2011:

lol i used those lol thanks

yano jl on November 04, 2011:

My personal favorite: "I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat."

Very funny - 1 more SquidLike for you! Thanks.

AnnaAdam LM on October 27, 2011:

Its difficult to write on such topics. You did a great job. well written lens.

Johnson671 on October 11, 2011:

Nice !

http://ragetrolling.com/index.php/funny-facebook-f...

duaraman on October 10, 2011:

Nice

anonymous on September 15, 2011:

i wonder what would happen if i walked thru sea world with a fishing pole?

when ppl start commenting..... say "In the crowd of the shamoo show casting my line in lol!"

when more ppl start commenting say "Like no big deal trying to catch a killer wale"

then when one of your good friends says "Holy shit _____ your fucking hilarious hahahahahahahah I love you"

respond with "who are you? ^^"

trust me will end up so epic

anonymous on September 05, 2011:

yes, funny status is always interesting things

buy facebook friends

itsonlymejosh on August 26, 2011:

I'm always looking for funny status updates, pics, and videos to post to my FB since I never have anything worthwhile that anyone really wants to read anyhow.

Great lense. I just might use some of these :)

lallaig19 on August 13, 2011:

great post!

BuddyShearer on August 10, 2011:

Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.

anonymous on August 06, 2011:

My friends status said, standing on the edge of a cliff :/so i poked him.

OrganicMom247 on July 28, 2011:

Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.

AQuintinSmith from Paradise on Earth on July 19, 2011:

Great lens. I am a facebook addict so this will come in handy.

anonymous on July 15, 2011:

Very nice dude. But if facebook blocked in your school use Ninjaproxy.

drchica21 on July 13, 2011:

lmaoo gotta love witty facebook statuses.

hey you all should check out my channel. Might make you feel less lonely. lol just kidding, you all are amazing people im sure. :)

My link: http://www.youtube.com/user/drchica21

anonymous on July 10, 2011:

Hi! this is a very great lens. I just press like-button and add this lens in my lens name is "Facebook Plugin cannot be rendered with the specified parameters" Don't miss for check its. Thanks for your sharing.

NoobWriter LM on July 06, 2011:

excellent dude.......

S Kurniawan from Bandung, Indonesia on July 03, 2011:

Awesome lens!

TravelingRae on June 15, 2011:

LOL I cannot stand the vampire trend, so 'Vampires Suck is going to be an epic movie' was particularly good!

pinkrenegade lm on May 27, 2011:

Great lens. That was really funny. Thanks for the laugh. :)

anonymous on May 25, 2011:

Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.

anonymous on May 23, 2011:

Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.

anonymous on May 16, 2011:

best....rockkkkkkkkkkkkkk

anonymous on May 15, 2011:

Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.

bkarsono on May 07, 2011:

Cool lens

Teri Villars from Phoenix, Arizona on April 26, 2011:

Interesting lens. I just lensrolled it to my FACEBOOK FUN AND CAUTIONS! lens.

anonymous on April 20, 2011:

Funny Facebook Status Ideas are very nice.Thanks for sharing. Work Plan Platform

kguru1979 lm on April 17, 2011:

Great lens...

goliveuk on April 12, 2011:

great lens for having a great time. I did not have the time to read it entirely, but, surely I will come back when I want to read something interesting and funny! Thanks!

ReidAdrian on April 04, 2011:

brilliant

ReidAdrian on April 04, 2011:

@grosssmutttr: Big in the game!

ReidAdrian on April 04, 2011:

@pumpnut lm: I didn't notice!

JublyJem on April 01, 2011:

really enjoyed your lens!

charliefern on March 19, 2011:

hahhaha nice

UKGhostwriter on March 15, 2011:

Excellent lens!

grosssmutttr on March 06, 2011:

made me laugh...so thank you

anonymous on March 02, 2011:

good lens!

HannahPSurva on February 23, 2011:

What a great lens! I loved it! Thanks for taking the time to post!

rishabverma on February 23, 2011:

lol.. that was really funny..

Kitty Levee on February 17, 2011:

My favorite: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Oliversbabycarecouk on February 02, 2011:

Great lens - made me laugh!

moonlitta on January 27, 2011:

...Farming:) if I had one. I'd prefer one of yours, though.

DawnMathisenakaC on January 16, 2011:

Thanks for a well-made and fun lens, Dan! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I like putting up fun stuff on my Facebook to make people laugh as well as quotes and sayings that inspire people. Fun stuff!

dahlia369 on January 08, 2011:

Made me laugh, thank you!! :)

jackieb99 on December 27, 2010:

Hey, I love the site! Funny stuff.

RAnDomPeRSoN123Hi on December 26, 2010:

The only reason Myspace sucks now is beecause it's trying to be like Facebook, wannabes never win.

anonymous on December 25, 2010:

http://www.myspacefriendlist.com

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pumpnut lm on December 20, 2010:

Did you ever notice that people don't notice things?

InnaTsv on December 17, 2010:

i found a couple of perfect onw for myself, thanks! :P

lasertek lm on December 15, 2010:

Why didn't I ever thought of putting up a Facebook status such as these? Great lens by the way!

anonymous on December 03, 2010:

Cool lens - nice one.

Nightowl John on November 17, 2010:

Funny stuff. Nicely put together. Thanks

jgelien on November 16, 2010:

I like your status ideas. I may have to steal one. Fun lens.

anonymous on November 13, 2010:

I believe that facebook marketing is the key to get success in a long run whether you are having a small business or large firm...more followers at facebook means you can grow your business further to new hieghts..

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mockingbird999 on November 12, 2010:

I don't even know. It's been so long since I've updated.

Nice lens. You've got some funny stuff on here.

squid-pinkchic18 on November 08, 2010:

Great lens, funny stuff!

anonymous on November 04, 2010:

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rwoman on November 02, 2010:

Let's see how creative my facebook friends are. Leave a one word comment that best describes me using the THIRD LETTER of your FIRST NAME, it can only be 1 word. Then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word about you.

Elizabeth Sheppard from Bowling Green, Kentucky on November 02, 2010:

Right now my Facebook status is: Laurel's Squash Risotto. From Tinky. (A recipe from her blog.) But I think a funny status would be nice! I like the ones you shared.

glenbrook on October 12, 2010:

Nicely done lens and very entertaining... except the LAST thing I need is something that encourages me to spend more time on FB...

spritequeen lm on October 09, 2010:

LOL These are GREAT!! Thanks for sharing! Can't wait to use some of them!!

livyf on October 07, 2010:

Thanks for the laughs! I really enjoyed your lens. I loved the one about getting paid to poo at work.

Edit Photos from Earth on September 26, 2010:

Fun Lens. My facebook status says I just blessed a funny lens.