Funny OMG Status Updates and Quotes

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A page of funny OMG status updates and quotes.

Funny OMG Status Updates And Quotes:

• Stop looking at me... OMG.
• Just a little late for the gym today. OMG that's one year late.
• When your boyfriend has bigger boobs than you. OMG.
• OMG, hair on your head should be called public hair.
• OMG, outdated meme's should be called memeries!
• OMG, pregnant woman should be the ones called body builders!
• OMG, bedrooms should be called restrooms, not the toilets!
• Trying not to spaz out after being swooped by a magpie. OMG.
• 9am can I please fast forward to 5pm. OMG.
• I'm so clumsy I've started using paper plates and plastic cups at home. OMG.
• The sign on the footpath says DON'T WALK so I ran. Fast. OMG.
• I love seeing men cleanly shaven, style hair and wearing suits. OMG.
• OMG. I love being stuck between bikini babes lining up for hot chips at the beach.
• Oh. Em. Gee!
• OMG, you're wearing complex Instagram double braids and painted in eyebrows at 9am when I've barely had time to wash my face.
• OMG, that made me laugh so loud I spat coffee all over my keyboard!
• OMG, I cannot unread the Tweet I just read.
• OMG! The rain is wet.
• Selfies with a toilet seat in the background! OMG so classy!
• OMG! Volcano's should be called mountain fountains!
• OMG! There is 86,400 seconds in a day. But who's counting...
• What's she got that I don't? OMG.
• OMG. I'll have whatever Miranda Kerr is eating, drinking, wearing and putting in her hair.
• When your celebrity crush has more problems than your ex. OMG.
• STOP IT!... I refresh the page, your tweet appears, I fall off my chair laughing! OMG.
• So, school uniforms include high-heels these days, OMG.
• My 8 year old cousin got an iPhone for his Birthday. OMG.
• Although I'm here at my desk, In my mind I'm in Paris. OMG, and a French man is feeding me croissants and Champagne for breakfast.
• Dreamed I was in a room full of Play Bunnies. And they were hopping around after me. OMG.
• Slept 12 hours. Still tired. OMG.
• 3am still wide awake. OMG.
• OMG I hate it when my underwire bra breaks out and stabs me in the armpit.
• OMG! It's my Birthday and I don't feel a day over fabulous!
• Every single channel is on a commercial break. OMG.
• OMG! Sorry I didn't return your call. I don't use my phone for that.
• Forgetting to set the alarm clock on a Sunday night. OMG.
• I just tried to answer the phone with the remote control. OMG.
• Forgot I was at work and answered the phone with "Hiya!" OMG.
• When you meet someone for 3 seconds and then they add you on Facebook. OMG.
• I brought a new dress. He called and cancelled our date. OMG.
• Left my phone in the office and it beeped all night. OMG.
• 40 degrees today. Left my Tuna sandwich in my boyfriends car. OMG.
• Home dye. Yellow hair. OMG MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!
• $5 for bottled water. OMG beer is cheaper! Beer please!
• There is no more food. OMG.
• I am feeling Fridaylicious! OMG!
• "I want to live in your socks so I'm with you every step of the way!" OMG.
• "Hey look! Even the leaves are falling for you!" OMG.
• OMG there is something wrong with your cell phone! It doesn't have my number in it.
• Wearing purple with orange today, only clothes that didn't need ironing. OMG.
• OMG. Wearing that purple and orange outfit LIKE A BOSS!
• Being at a party with 3 of your ex's in the room. OMG not fun.
• "Do you like whales? Because I would like to free your willy". OMG!
• When your taxi driver has bad B.O... OMG. Windows down please!
• OMG I cannot sit down. Cheek sunburn!
• Realising you've found true love is an OMG moment.
• OMG. Did I just log into Sookbook?
• OMG he's hotter than a volcano.
• OMG I hate you. I wanna be you.
• OMG the smell of mom's cooking. Priceless!
• I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school. OMG!
• Waiting for the weekend. OMG I hate Mondays!
• Just read the texts I sent when I was partying last night. OMG.
• Last night was wild! OMG.
• Boyfriend shaved his entire body. Not happy. OMG.
• I've found my dream girl. OMG. She plays heavy metal in her car.
• I hate slow laptops... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... OMG.
• When your crush wants to date your mate. OMG.
• When there's a spider the size of a cat inside your car. OMG, that's when you know you're Aussie.

• OMG. If you're going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.
• When your blind date is someone you've already dated. OMG.
• When your boobs creep out of your bra. OMG.
• I'm flirting? OMG. I'm from the real world where people call it TALKING.
• Just got asked out by someone who looks older than my dad. OMG.
• When your date's dad asks what your intentions are with his daughter. OMG.
• The shop assistant had just passed wind when I went up to him. OMG. Like salami. Up my nose.
• Just flirted with a stranger because he looked like my childhood crush (The Cookie Monster). OMG.
• OMG I was ironing in my underwear, too close to the window. Sorry Postman.
• Accidentally sending a text to the wrong person OMG.
• Relationship Status: OMG!
• OMG. Just slapped my face, thought there was a spider but it was just my hair blowing in the breeze.
• OMG. You update your status LIKE A BOSS!
• OMG my heart drops when I drop my phone and I pray the screen doesn't crack.
• When you're standing up on a crowded bus and someone pinches you on the butt. OMG.
• OMG After Monday and Tuesday even my calender says W T F.
• I just got caught in one of those OMG it's not what it looks like moments!
• I said I "love you". He said "Okay". O M G.
• When even the weirdest person you know has a boyfriend and you're always single. OMG.
• Can we just be friends? OMG I hate when that happens.
• I don't have ex's I have Y's. OMG Y did I do that!
• Photos of celebrities without makeup. OMG.
• When you're wondering if the person is a boy or a girl. OMG.
• When you finally get to talk to your crush and accidentally say "I love you". OMG *runs away*
• Oreo Recipe: Dip biscuits in melted chocolate, batter and fry...OMG.
• When you're at a friends house and you've done a number two, and it won't flush. OMG.

Author: Stricktlydating Copyright 2013.

© 2013 StrictlyQuotes

Comments

Ken Taub from Long Island, NY on June 20, 2013:

funny girl....

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on May 05, 2013:

Diogenes, you are so funny! You need to get some of those stories online here at Hubpages! And thanks for your comments DDE! I loved hearing from you both :)

diogenes on May 04, 2013:

The one that wouldn't flush reminds me of my days on the Cruiser, HMS Sheffield. I was the shithouse dodger for a month (cleans toilet). We had a "turd of the week" contest and a huge floater was fished out and varnished!

OMG!!

Bob

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 04, 2013:

Cool so true and you did this hub so well the thought of OMG fits in anywhere these days.

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on May 03, 2013:

OMG! So lovely to have comments from some of my favourite's on Hubpages! Thank you acaetnna, kidscraft and Sunny River - Enjoy your weekend too :)

acaetnna from Guildford on May 03, 2013:

OMG ... just great!

Sunny River from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality on May 03, 2013:

Thanks for the laugh! That was great!