Funny OMG Status Updates and Quotes

Author:
StrictlyQuotes
Updated date:
Mar 9, 2019

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A page of funny OMG status updates and quotes.

Funny OMG Status Updates And Quotes:

Stop looking at me... OMG.
Just a little late for the gym today. OMG that's one year late.
When your boyfriend has bigger boobs than you. OMG.
OMG, hair on your head should be called public hair.
OMG, outdated meme's should be called memeries!
OMG, pregnant woman should be the ones called body builders!
OMG, bedrooms should be called restrooms, not the toilets!
Trying not to spaz out after being swooped by a magpie. OMG.
9am can I please fast forward to 5pm. OMG.
I'm so clumsy I've started using paper plates and plastic cups at home. OMG.
The sign on the footpath says DON'T WALK so I ran. Fast. OMG.
I love seeing men cleanly shaven, style hair and wearing suits. OMG.
OMG. I love being stuck between bikini babes lining up for hot chips at the beach.
Oh. Em. Gee!
OMG, you're wearing complex Instagram double braids and painted in eyebrows at 9am when I've barely had time to wash my face.
OMG, that made me laugh so loud I spat coffee all over my keyboard!
OMG, I cannot unread the Tweet I just read.
OMG! The rain is wet.
Selfies with a toilet seat in the background! OMG so classy!
OMG! Volcano's should be called mountain fountains!
OMG! There is 86,400 seconds in a day. But who's counting...
What's she got that I don't? OMG.
OMG. I'll have whatever Miranda Kerr is eating, drinking, wearing and putting in her hair.
When your celebrity crush has more problems than your ex. OMG.
STOP IT!... I refresh the page, your tweet appears, I fall off my chair laughing! OMG.
So, school uniforms include high-heels these days, OMG.
My 8 year old cousin got an iPhone for his Birthday. OMG.
Although I'm here at my desk, In my mind I'm in Paris. OMG, and a French man is feeding me croissants and Champagne for breakfast.
Dreamed I was in a room full of Play Bunnies. And they were hopping around after me. OMG.
Slept 12 hours. Still tired. OMG.
3am still wide awake. OMG.
OMG I hate it when my underwire bra breaks out and stabs me in the armpit.
OMG! It's my Birthday and I don't feel a day over fabulous!
Every single channel is on a commercial break. OMG.
OMG! Sorry I didn't return your call. I don't use my phone for that.
Forgetting to set the alarm clock on a Sunday night. OMG.
I just tried to answer the phone with the remote control. OMG.
Forgot I was at work and answered the phone with "Hiya!" OMG.
When you meet someone for 3 seconds and then they add you on Facebook. OMG.
I brought a new dress. He called and cancelled our date. OMG.
Left my phone in the office and it beeped all night. OMG.
40 degrees today. Left my Tuna sandwich in my boyfriends car. OMG.
Home dye. Yellow hair. OMG MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!
$5 for bottled water. OMG beer is cheaper! Beer please!
There is no more food. OMG.
I am feeling Fridaylicious! OMG!
"I want to live in your socks so I'm with you every step of the way!" OMG.
"Hey look! Even the leaves are falling for you!" OMG.
OMG there is something wrong with your cell phone! It doesn't have my number in it.
Wearing purple with orange today, only clothes that didn't need ironing. OMG.
OMG. Wearing that purple and orange outfit LIKE A BOSS!
Being at a party with 3 of your ex's in the room. OMG not fun.
"Do you like whales? Because I would like to free your willy". OMG!
When your taxi driver has bad B.O... OMG. Windows down please!
OMG I cannot sit down. Cheek sunburn!
Realising you've found true love is an OMG moment.
OMG. Did I just log into Sookbook?
OMG he's hotter than a volcano.
OMG I hate you. I wanna be you.
OMG the smell of mom's cooking. Priceless!
I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school. OMG!
Waiting for the weekend. OMG I hate Mondays!
Just read the texts I sent when I was partying last night. OMG.
Last night was wild! OMG.
Boyfriend shaved his entire body. Not happy. OMG.
I've found my dream girl. OMG. She plays heavy metal in her car.
I hate slow laptops... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... OMG.
When your crush wants to date your mate. OMG.
When there's a spider the size of a cat inside your car. OMG, that's when you know you're Aussie.

that-moment-quotes-for-facebook-status-and-twitter

OMG. If you're going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.
When your blind date is someone you've already dated. OMG.
When your boobs creep out of your bra. OMG.
I'm flirting? OMG. I'm from the real world where people call it TALKING.
Just got asked out by someone who looks older than my dad. OMG.
When your date's dad asks what your intentions are with his daughter. OMG.
The shop assistant had just passed wind when I went up to him. OMG. Like salami. Up my nose.
Just flirted with a stranger because he looked like my childhood crush (The Cookie Monster). OMG.
OMG I was ironing in my underwear, too close to the window. Sorry Postman.
Accidentally sending a text to the wrong person OMG.
Relationship Status: OMG!
OMG. Just slapped my face, thought there was a spider but it was just my hair blowing in the breeze.
OMG. You update your status LIKE A BOSS!
OMG my heart drops when I drop my phone and I pray the screen doesn't crack.
When you're standing up on a crowded bus and someone pinches you on the butt. OMG.
OMG After Monday and Tuesday even my calender says W T F.
I just got caught in one of those OMG it's not what it looks like moments!
I said I "love you". He said "Okay". O M G.
When even the weirdest person you know has a boyfriend and you're always single. OMG.
Can we just be friends? OMG I hate when that happens.
I don't have ex's I have Y's. OMG Y did I do that!
Photos of celebrities without makeup. OMG.
When you're wondering if the person is a boy or a girl. OMG.
When you finally get to talk to your crush and accidentally say "I love you". OMG *runs away*
Oreo Recipe: Dip biscuits in melted chocolate, batter and fry...OMG.
When you're at a friends house and you've done a number two, and it won't flush. OMG.

That says PUBLIC... Not what you were thinking!

Scroll to Continue

summary-and-analysis-of-sonnet-4-by-william-shakespeare

Comments

Ken Taub from Long Island, NY on June 20, 2013:

funny girl....

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on May 05, 2013:

Diogenes, you are so funny! You need to get some of those stories online here at Hubpages! And thanks for your comments DDE! I loved hearing from you both :)

diogenes on May 04, 2013:

The one that wouldn't flush reminds me of my days on the Cruiser, HMS Sheffield. I was the shithouse dodger for a month (cleans toilet). We had a "turd of the week" contest and a huge floater was fished out and varnished!

OMG!!

Bob

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 04, 2013:

Cool so true and you did this hub so well the thought of OMG fits in anywhere these days.

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on May 03, 2013:

OMG! So lovely to have comments from some of my favourite's on Hubpages! Thank you acaetnna, kidscraft and Sunny River - Enjoy your weekend too :)

acaetnna from Guildford on May 03, 2013:

OMG ... just great!

Sunny River from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality on May 03, 2013:

Thanks for the laugh! That was great!