Funny Christmas Quotes And Christmas Status Updates

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A page of funny Christmas quotes, Christmas status updates and memes to use on your Facebook and Twitter timeline over the festive season.

Christmas Quotes And Statuses:

• They say, when you stop believing in Santa you start receiving underwear, and I don't mind that because I'm really in need of new underwear this Christmas!
• I don't want much for Christmas... I Just want the people reading this to be healthy, happy and loved.
• It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
• Deck the halls with booze and lollies, fa la la la la, la la la la.
• Come and be silly with me this season!
• It's beginning to look a lot like... Cocktails!
• I'm beginning to shop a lot like Christmas.
• Christmas, the only time of the year I will happily accept gifts given to me in an old sock.
• Christmas is the only time I will sit around a dead tree and celebrate.
• Santa saw your profile, now you're getting a cup of man up for Christmas.
• Santa saw your profile and thinks you've been very naughty this year.
• Time to decorate the tree, dress it up splendidly.
• One drink for every ball on the tree is not a good idea. I learned that today.
• Oh wow! Santa has the same wrapping paper as mommy!
• I hope you enjoy your gifts because now I'm broke, and I can't go anywhere this Christmas and possibly not anywhere until next Christmas...
• That awesome moment when you're cutting Christmas paper and the scissors start to glide.
• This Christmas I hope you get merry and have a Happy New Year.
• Santa saw your Facebook profile. Now you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas :)
• I'll be your sun dear, I'll be your reindeer! Merry Christmas.
• Please Santa, I've been good all year... Most of the time... Sometimes... Ok, Don't worry I'll buy my own Christmas presents.
• You've made my dreams come true, baby all I want for Christmas is you!
• It's Christmas, come get merry with me!
• I have nothing else to wish for - I already have you! Merry Christmas.
• Dear Santa, I want it all!
• I'm trying to get into the Christmas spiri but I can't open the bottle!
• Baby, all I want for Christmas is shoes!
• Keep calm and sparkle this season!
• Keep calm and put on your Santa Suit.
• Keep calm and say "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
• Keep calm come celebrate Christmas with me!
• Keep calm and be merry.
• Keep calm and sing a Christmas Carol.
• Keep calm it's almost Christmas.
• Kiss me! It's Christmas!
• Keep calm and yell "Fa la la la la, la la la la!"
• Wishing you a Tweet Christmas.
• May all your dreams come true this Christmas and all year through.
• Here's some mistletoe - Now pucker up and kiss me!
• Every day is Christmas because I have you!
• Santa won't be coming this year... He died laughing when you said you'd been a good girl.
• Santa, just leave me a list of the names of all the naughty girls.
• Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is my own Island so I don't have to deal with any stupid people.
• I believe Santa is so jolly because of all the beer we leave out for him.
• I'm not drunk, I'm in a merry Christmas state of mind.
• Christmas comes but once a year and when it comes it brings good cheer.
• Tis the silly season, come celebrate with me!
• Spending Christmas with you is all my dreams come true.
• When you have Christmas in your heart it doesn't matter what's under the tree.
• You would look very good wrapped up under my Christmas tree.
• Not expecting much this Christmas. I've been quite naughty.
• I'm expecting a truck load this Christmas. I've been very, very good!
• Oh come let me adore you, oh come let me adore you...
• Tongue Twister: I put sparkly fabric on Simon's Santa Suit.
• Tongue Twister: Santa stuffed my silk stocking with short sparkly socks.
• I saw your Facebook photos and I'm sending you to rehab... Merry Christmas!
• If you're good you can be on Santa's list, if you're naughty you can be on my Friend list.
• Copyright StricktlyDating 2014

• Not a creature was stirring except for the parents tip toeing around the house in the dark to hide the presents under the tree without waking the kids.
• I love receiving gifts and eating cake with custard, singing carols and decorating the tree. But seriously the best part about Christmas is having a few days off to relax with my family.
• Dear Santa, I was good at being naughty, does that count for anything?
• Christmas comes but once a year. Thank goodness otherwise I'd always be broke.
• Waiting, waiting, waiting, for Christmas to come and bring me cheer, or beer, or something to make me feel better!
• Will someone explain what it means to deck the halls?
• Forget wishing me a Merry Christmas, just come around and jingle my bells!
• Roses are red so is Santa's suit, have I told you that I think you're cute?
• Tis the season to be jolly. Get out your purse and grab your shopping trolley...
• I'm putting mistletoe in my back pocket so everyone can kiss my backside!
• That disappointing moment when you realise Santa has the same wrapping paper and handwriting as your parents.
• I hope Santa leaves me a skinny body and a fat wallet, not the other way around like it was last year.
• Christmas is my favourite time of the year because I can blame my ongoing weight issues on over-eating during the holidays...
• Hey baby, do you want some special Christmas gifts ;)
• Why is Santa always jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls are.
• It's Christmas time AND I AM ON THE INTERNET.
• It's time to get merry and celebrate the season.
• I miss all the presents I used to get when I believed in Santa.
• Only those who work in retail know the real meaning of Christmas.
• I filed my nails sharp and rolled around on the beach... I'm now Sandy Claws.
• Glory. Love. Peace. Come on! We all just want presents!
• Singing loud for all to hear, so that I spread my Christmas cheer!
• Be naughty (Save Santa the trip).
• Any time I'm given presants is a wonderful time of year! Merry Christmas!
• Christmas is a magical time of year... I just watched all my money magically disappear.
• Drinking spirits... In the spirit of Christmas!
• I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... And when the white is finnished I'll start on the red.
• I love Christmas because I can shop, and shop and shop as much as I like without feeling guilty for it.
• All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
• Yeah I was naughty this year, but it was SO worth it! Happy Christmas!

Author: SticktlyDating - Wishing you all a very happy Christmas!

More Christmas Statuses From StricktlyDating:

• Funny Dear Santa Statuses
  A collection of the cutest Dear Santa Quotes to share on Twitter and for your Facebook Status this Christmas. Dear Santa, I can EXPLAIN! Dear Santa, I want IT ALL!

Comments

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on May 14, 2014:

Thanks John :)

Johnf55 on May 13, 2014:

Wow! This could be one particular of the most useful blogs We've ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Wonderful. I'm also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your hard work. dgdakabdgggd

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 07, 2013:

Thanks DDE and Christmas is coming up so fast! Where has the year gone!

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on October 06, 2013:

Cute Funny Christmas Status Updates And Quotes so useful and hilarious well done all your interesting quotes.

kidscrafts from Ottawa, Canada on April 11, 2013:

A very nice collection of quotes about Christmas :-) Humor is always good...whatever the season!

John MacNab from the banks of the St. Lawrence on January 19, 2013:

Even with mistletoe in my back pocket nobody would kiss my butt. Funny hub strictlydating.

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 22, 2012:

Merry Christmas pstraubie48 and thankyou for your comment :)

Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on December 20, 2012:

Too cute ...my favorite is the one that says...forget it, I'll buy my own Christmas presents...love it. I am passing these on to my friends...Sending you some Angels :) ps

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 14, 2012:

Thanks for your comments Lady e and Nanderson500! And wishing you both a wonderful Christmas :)

nanderson500 from Seattle, WA on December 14, 2012:

Great quotes, especially the ones about alcohol! Voted up and funny.

Elena from London, UK on December 13, 2012:

Beautiful I really enjoyed it. I'll probably be singing "Oh come let me adore" you in Church Xmas Carols, but let's hope the Microphone is not close by. :-)

Merry Xmas too.