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Woman Marrying Feminine Men

Feminine Men

I am interested find out other women’s views on the topic.  First of I would like to give you a bit of background about my self.  I consider my self to be a successful, confident woman with pretty standard upbringing and lifestyle.  I live in London and have a good social network of friends which includes business women, new mums and generally people of mixed age groups from both sexes.  Over the course of the past 8 years, I have had couple of relationships which can be classed as relatively long term but otherwise, the rest haven been dates rather then actual relationships.  


I have been with my current partner for almost 4 years and it was shortly before meeting him I found my self to be more attracted to men who are more feminine.  I have always had a good mixtures of friends from both sexes and have been just as comfortable around both.  I discovered that I seem to be more in tune with guys who are feminine in nature and also in appearance.  I like the delicateness and the submissiveness.  This doesn’t mean to say I don’t like masculinity.  I discovered a real affinity for feminine guys and as I am getting to an age where I want to settle down, I am finding my natural instincts pushing me in this direction.

When I met my partner, I had just some out of a long term relationship.  At first we were simply goods friends and it remained this way for over a year.  During the time I have known him, he has leant more and more towards feminine side of his personality and I have encouraged this to the point he dresses from time to time.  On a day to day bases, it more a question of wearing female jeans, tops and light make-up and oh he has a real love for nail polish so is always doing his nails.  He looks more androgens then female most of the time on but from once in a while, he dresses fully when we go out. I have always loved the fact we can both go shopping and look at same things for both of us and even though he is ever so slightly bigger built then me, we can sometimes share clothes.  We are never going to reach a pint of him dressing fully time as a female and I don’t think he can really be classed as a Crossdresser in the traditional sense of the word.  With him, its more about the feminine side of personality coming out and I encouraged him explore more.  He has a love from stylish female clothes like most of us. Most of my friends know and love his feminine side and it’s no big deal but very occasionally we do come across people who disapprove or think he is gay.  


We are now thinking of getting married and this is likely to be next year.  We haven’t yet decided on what kind of wedding but I would love to incorporate some feminine side of his personality to his wedding attire.  Unfortunately, both of us dressed as brides won’t go well with everyone and I also don’t want to make an even bigger dream of the wedding day but one of my friends did suggest having a private small ceremony later with him in a dress so this is one consideration.  I would like to get other women’s opinion on feminine men and also would appreciate suggestion what he should ware.

Have any of you girls out there in a similar relationship with feminine guys and can you appreciate men who are feminine?


Dave on November 03, 2014:

I'm sitting here in a polka dot dress, nails, and 5 inch pumps, feeling incredible, but also never considering it would be possible to share this with a woman who would be ok with this once in a while. I'm very much a straight guy, very masculine in many ways and enjoying it, happy enough to have my femininity only be a part of MY life, but after Googling for 'women who like feminine men' on a whim, I have just realised that I like the prospect of meeting a woman who would be excited about meeting a man with a feminine side.

brittney on September 04, 2014:

my boyfriend of 5 yrs is super fem hes my best friend, love and great in bed so i know hes straight he curls his hair most everyday plus hes loves doing mine we both have shoulder length hair its noting for the 2 of us to be walking around the house in hot rollers whiel we both do our makeup he just had his ears pierced for the second time and must have 50 pairs of earrings and has more shoes than i do lol we both get out manis and pedis done together he usually wears french on both and hes has awesoem taste when it comes to shopping he helps in the kitchen as he loves to cook and bake and he loves victoria secrets as much as any girl its funny i feel so comfortible with him and there is no competition between us and yes he has used the ladies with me on several ocassions hes more comfortible touching up his makeup with us girls than in the mens room

stephanie on February 16, 2014:

my husband has always been on the fem side and over the yrs has gotten super fem he has had his ears pierced his long hair has highlites and curled most days and loves wearing cute decorative bobby pins in it hes wears makeup everday get facials at the salon as well as manis and pedis with polish usually a french or red, i made him start carring a purse to hold all his hair and makeup in, he loves womens boots with a 2-3 in heel he has so much confidence its unbelievable i have done so many cute things wth his hair even put it up on many ocassionns . and yes it takes hi m longer to get ready than it does me lol and he always useses the ladies restroom

Bob on February 13, 2014:

I like to keep my two sides separate. A regular guy most of the time but for two hours a week my wonderful wife of 20 years is visited by a male maid from the school up the street. He comes for two semesters to learn cooking,cleaning,serving , massage and total service on demand. One was a blonde,one brunette and currently an Arburn boy.All me of course, I love being soft,submissive,helpful and cheerful as I do my chores

ScottP90X from Portland, or on February 11, 2014:

I am a very feminine man, married for 20 years. I have kept much buried as deep as I can as I have never felt being feminine is desired or even tolerated in the slightest. My wife has said that I have many feminine qualities so dispite trying to hide it, it shows. I'd really like to embrace and express my femininity but fear the reprocussions. I find it unreal that woman would even want a feminine male as a partner and see it as just an impossible dream.

L on January 07, 2014:

I adore feminine males because of their tenderness, attraction to their beauty within, and their gentle demeanors. I also admire and respect their courage to break the gender barriers. Gentlemen (and I mean that literally) please know there are women out there who greatly desire a man who is not afraid to know all aspects of himself.

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TL on December 31, 2013:

It's nice to read these comments. I am a guy who is very feminine. I am currently wearing pink nail polish. I wear it openly. I also love toe rings and anklets that I always have on. I shave my body every day and I smooth it out with vanilla body lotion. All my shorts are girl shorts mostly 2.5 inch inseam that I wear openly in public. My underwear is comprised of 100% women's thongs that I color coordinate with my toe nail polish. When I go to the gym I wear 2.5 inch tights with thong under neath. I love going out in public to the mall or movies in my shorty shorts sandals with painted toe nails and shaved legs accessorized with my toe rings and anklets thong of course. Anyway I love to share.

Ellissa4u on December 22, 2013:


Please keep us posted on progress. I am a male who has been transformed in a similar manner. My wife has encouraged this and enjoys bringing out my inner woman. We often have girls night out together. I have no desire to be with a man but I do enjoy the attention sometimes.

Cathy Laura Peterson on November 26, 2013:

I've been on the web the last 2 weeks searching this same topic as I am currently dating a wonderful professional guy (Alec) who after 2 months of dating confided in me his strong interest in women's clothing and fashion. We talked some more about it and he did not seem obsessed with this and told me he'd be completely fine with whatever I was okay with, so we took it really slow and that worked for me. When we met, I liked Alec's blonde-brown wavy hair very much as he tucked it behind his ears and pulled it straight back in a low ponytail tie at the base of his neck and from there about 12" down his back. One evening we were having dinner at my apartment and really got talking about my hair styles and added in some of his "women's fashion" interests and I felt comfortable asking him if he'd let me try some things with his hair, and he agreed. He sat on the couch as we watched HBO, and in the next 45 minutes I took out his low ponytail tie, combed his hair out long and used my flatiron to completely straighten it all around, trimmed the front into long bangs just past his eyebrows, and did a half-up high in back with an ivory stretch-lace scrunchy. I was so surprised at how feminine it made him appear, and he really seemed to like it. I assured him he could easily tuck the bangs aside and pull it all back in a low ponytail again. But just moving the ponytail 8" higher in back and adding bangs, it completely changed his look from artsy graphics guy well over toward looking like a woman.

We had some dinner in front of the TV and were finishing up with hot tea and I just had the urge to see if I could do a few things that would add to this hair style, and he agreed. I'll save the step-by-step details but I did bare minerals, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, a few lipstick strokes to his cheekbones and blended them with my finger - and it took his hairstyle from a 5 or 6 on my "looks like a girl" scale to a solid 8, maybe even a 9. Before he'd had a chance to see himself in the mirror, I added some everyday cute gold dangling earrings (the kind where the front hook clasps tightly to the back bar) that pinched tightly and held onto his ear lobes, and a matching gold necklace with a small heart pendant. He was wearing an H+M long-sleeved sweatshirt that had a wide/low curved neck so from the neckline up it all worked.

The jewelry pushed his 8 or 9 to a solid 9+ heading toward 10, and I was actually very pleased with how he was still very cute + attractive to me, but the man Alec I knew had drifted very far into the background underneath a very feminine made-up face, earrings, necklace, and cute "everyday" half-up hairstyle. He went into the bathroom to look in the mirror and I was surprised that I did not hear any loud "oh my" or the like, instead I walked in and found him I guess just admiring himself, turning from side to side slowly and smiling at the gal in the mirror.

Let's just say that the evening continued with low lights, Jack Johnson Pandora, and a wonderful time on the couch. What I was most surprised at was how Alec appeared so feminine up close as we made out on the couch - and I was really okay with it, and had kind of a "he's my guy, but I really like this 'pretty' look on him" going on in my mind. He used some of my make-up remover wipes and put his hair back into "guy" mode before he left around 1:30AM.

About 2 weeks ago we talked about women's clothing and fashions/styles that could work for both guys and gals, then moved over into thinking back on his half-up, earrings-necklace, and make-up . . . . so I made it easy on him by coming out and suggesting we try putting together what we did at my apartment with some unisex fashions. So last Wednesday after grabbing dinner together in town after work, we went back to my place and he wore Macy's light blue men's skinny jeans and an Urban-Outfitters men's white ribbed long-sleeved very clingy top. In about 30 minutes, I had done the exact same flatiron + hairstyle (no trim needed this time) and added the make-up and earrings-necklace set . . . and these went very well with the white top and skinny jeans. I added a blue-green-brown rayon scarf, and we commented back and forth about whether men's/women's fashions can be blurred like this. I was wearing a fairly shear cotton ivory sweater and standing next to him at my full length bedroom closet mirror I noticed my maroon bra subtly showing thru the fabric and decided I would be very bold and asked Alec if he'd try on my basic white t-shirt bra underneath his top to see if that would further blur the lines, and he agreed without any fuss. Helping my boyfriend into one of my bras was a brand new experience, kind of kinky + fun I guess, and once i did the back hooks and he pulled the top back on, the bra was clearly visible thru the rib-knit and it's as if we were moving further down from the hair, face, and necklace to now the bra-shape across his chest with straps that could be seen over his shoulders.

Looking in the mirror side-by-side again it was obvious that Alec was really into this, and I have to say, I also found it to be very erotic and sensual to see my man just beneath the surface of a very female-looking appearance.

My comment about moving from hair to face to neck to chest just keeps adding to the illusion really left open what I'm sure he was thinking just like me - - - that either a dress or a skirt with one of my girly blouses or tops, and some women's shoes, would move the female look all the way complete from head to foot, so I again made it easy on him and simply asked if he'd like to wear a blouse, skirt, and shoes of mine, and again he easily agreed with a smile. So last Wednesday at around 7:15pm, I put Alec in a basic black wool skirt, light pink long-sleeved rayon work-blouse, and black flats (no hose) and I think we may have moved over a bit too far perhaps into this "fashion" crossover, because he really seems to like it, and I have to admit that it really intrigues me seeing him like that. He proposed shaving his legs right there that evening, but I backed off a bit and said let's save that for another time. Sitting on the couch next to him watching TV last week I glanced over at his lap and thighs under my skirt, and the shape my bra made across his chest under my pink top, and I knew he was wearing his Jockeys underneath and hadn't shaved his legs, but I started thinking whether he was thinking about wearing stockings or hose and maybe panties underneath, or even adding a full slip or half slip. And holding hands I also thought about doing his finger nails with some cute polish, but didn't suggest it.

So that night ended early around 9pm as we both had to be at work by 8am the next day at our jobs, and now I'm wondering what are we doing? where is this going? do we want to go further? what's next and when? will this be every time we get together? will he want to go out dressed like this? would I want to go with him? I'm reading all kinds of Google hits re: cross dressing and transgender and related . . . . so what are your thoughts?

Thanks, -Cathy

Loverednails (author) from London on September 26, 2013:


I can under your predicament and I think only you can decide what the right choice. I also had reservations about how people will react but most of my friends are very open minded and we see a lot of fem guys in the public eye these days.

For me, it was quite a natural transition and the more I got to know him, the less of an issue it became. Sometimes you just need a man and I like him to be this but most of the time I feel very comfortable and at ease with this feminine nature. We enjoy the same things, gossip, fashion, make-up and clothes so it like also like being best girlfriends.

The best thing is it is very much a partnership on equal terms and I can understand a lot of women don’t want this in a husband or a b/f. My advice is if being with him makes you happy, you are comfortable being around him (including when he is fem) then I wouldn’t worry too much about others. A gradual transmission and once people get to know him, it won’t be an issue.

Buy you are the person who knows if he makes you happy so only you can decide. Good luck and feel free to comment.

I. Campbell from United Kingdom on September 05, 2013:

Hi cherylnotsure,

You say he's a lovely man, and you say he treats you better than you've been treated in a long time. You're also preoccupied with what others think.

I think the only decision you need to make (and it is a hard one) is whether you live the life you want to live, or you settle for the life you think others want you to live. If sharing your life with this wonderful person fills you with shame then your budding relationship is already dead and, I'm sorry, but that's on you.

Personally, I think to hell with what other people think. Stand by your man. Have the courage of your inner convictions and take a chance. Who knows, you may be happier than you could have imagined. It won't be easy, but what worthwhile venture is?

I know your question wasn't directed at me and I hope you will forgive me for throwing my 2 cents in. But being one such feminine guy who is about to celebrate 12 years with the lady love of his life, I thought you should know that this can work.

cherylnotsure on September 05, 2013:

Hi loverednails,

Thank you for this post its really good to know people are in the same boat as me.

I recently met someone and he’s a lovely man, he treats me better than I’ve been treated for a long time and he really does seem to like me.

Having said all that I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that he’s so feminine and it seems to be stopping me from moving things further.

I’m a little confused because part of me thinks that we could be good together as we get on so well and we want the same things in life, but the other half struggles to picture us as a couple and if I’m honest I think I am a little concerned about what others will think.

I’m wondering whether I just leave it in the friend zone or take a chance and see what happens.

Any advice is welcome.

I. Campbell from United Kingdom on August 12, 2013:

Thanks for your post. It's gratifying to know that there are girls out there for guys like us. I can't provide a genuine girl's perspective because I am the male half of one such union -- 13 years, 12 of which as man and wife -- and I did glam up. On reflection, I didn't enjoy the photos afterwards and felt I'd perhaps spoiled my wife's day a little. The mirror will always hide the truth, whereas the camera seldom lies. If I could do it again, I'd do it in drab and just enjoy it. But I was inexperience and not very confident at all, so my experience may not be the yardstick you're looking for. Good luck, whatever you do. Have fun!!!

Loverednails (author) from London on July 30, 2013:


Thank you very much for your point of view and sorry for the late reply. We have decided on a separate private ceremony so we have two big days to look forward to. It is best to keep these things between close friends and family and we don’t want to make things harder for him as not everyone is so open minded. I do know there are a lot of women out there who approve of this and many guys who feel the same way.

We are now making plans for both ceremonies.

Feel free to make commetns.

Loverednails (author) from London on July 30, 2013:


Thank you very much for your point of view and sorry for the late reply. We have decided on a separate private ceremony so we have two big days to look forward to. It is best to keep these things between close friends and family and we don’t want to make things harder for him as not everyone is so open minded. I do know there are a lot of women out there who approve of this and many guys who feel the same way.

We are now making plans for both ceremonies.

Feel free to make commetns.

Tonette Fornillos from The City of Generals on June 05, 2013:

Hi Loverednails. I believe that there are a lot of feminine guys, hollywood started this image of beautiful guys, but not necessarily gays.

Your wedding will be the biggest event of your life full of moments, and going for the traditional wedding attire definitely will frame an important event in the history of two families.

Your friend is right, a more private ceremony can add magic to your big day. It's your wedding - go for it. Congratulations and best wishes in advance. :=)-Tonette

sissyforgirls2000 on January 08, 2012:

I think that you are one of the New Age Couples. I am a male that has advocated for Male feminization and the Empowerment of Women for many years. I have a Blog that Focuses on this. I would love to correspond with you and your boyfriend. I think it would be Lovely for you to have that "Private" Ceremony that you would both be Brides...that would be so Delightful!

Loverednails (author) from London on March 04, 2011:


Thanks for your comment and sorry for the late reply. I agree with you that families can bring complexities and a lot of people simply can’t understand this kind of lifestyle for appreciate the need for some men to closely identify with their feminine side. I am quite fortunate to have a very open minded family and my strong and confident character means no one is every shocked by my choice of lifestyle. The females in my family have always been strong willed so I guess this has shaped nurtured me to be how I am.

If my partner finds the need to develop further in to a female role then I will approach it with an open mind. He is not a Transsexual however there is always the possibility he will feed the need to assume a female role on a more regular bases.

I value your comments and it has certainly given me food for thought.

Rikkie Lee from Ontario, Canada on December 14, 2010:

Hello Love Red Nails! I'm unable to offer a gen girl perspective 'cause I'm not ... but from the perspective of a feminine man ... you seem to be the ideal partner for a guy so inclined! Likely to be no problems between the two of you whilst doing the things partners do by themselves, however families can bring entirely more complex issues to the forefront (acceptance / rejection) and most especially if and when you might have children.

Another consideration from my personal experience is that 'limited feminization interests' may evolve over time and travel far into the gender spectrum as a guy discovers that he loves being ever more feminine.

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