The Day of Reckoning
The day has come. Between the football tailgating, raging house parties, beautiful women, and excessive liquor, you have come to realize your once-on-point wardrobe now looks dismal. Worse still, it's reflecting poorly on both you, and your beloved fraternity.
Fear not, brother! Today, we will review the wardrobe essentials of a southern frat star and have you back looking better than ever.
The best news is your wardrobe revamp doesn't have to break the bank. I've found the best deals on all your essentials at Amazon.com and provided affiliate links to each and every one.
1) The Ralph Lauren Pony Hat
What better way to start a list of essentials than with the Ralph Lauren Pony Hat.
If anything will revamp your frat attire with ease, this is it. The Pony Hat has been a frat staple since your great-grandfather first invented beer pong while wearing it backwards.
FratFact #1: Only real men wear the Ralph Lauren Pony Hat.
The Ralph Lauren Pony Hat
The Story Behind Ralph Lauren
2) The Ray-Ban Wayfarers
Ray-Ban Wayfarers may well be the most important element of any frat star's outfit. They elegantly epitomize class and style. The reasons as to why this is could go on forever, but I'll just hit the basics.
- For starters, you do look extremely cool
- They allow for discreet observation of that bomb-shell blonde out of Pi Beta Phi
- An air of mystery and intrigue will instantly surround you
- Leonardo DiCaprio wears them in The Wolf of Wall Street
- Your intense hangover will be less evident in History 101
There you have it. You are the coolest. Or at least you will be once you get your Ray-Ban Wayfarers.
FratFact #2: No matter what anyone says, wearing sunglasses at night is cool.
What size Ray-Ban Aviators should I buy?
3) The Southern Tide Croakie
Without a Southern Tide Croakie, I guarantee you will not survive. That's right, you'll die. Specifically, you'll die of embarrassment when those Ray-Ban Wayfarers your dad just dished out $130 for fall directly into the waves crashing past your imaginary boat.
Don't let it happen. Get the Southern Tide Croakie.
FratFact #3: If southern is in the name, it's an essential.
4) The Sperry Topsider
No introduction necessary. Wear Sperry Topsiders.
FratFact #4: Pledges are always willing to break in your new Sperry Topsiders.
5) The Vineyard Vines Shep Shirt
The Vineyard Vines Shep Shirt is suitable for any occasion, during any time of the year. It can be dressed up, in combination with a Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt, or thrown on top of a Brooks Brothers tee for a laid back afternoon. After buying my first, and becoming accustomed to the steady stream compliments I received throughout the day, two more were immediately added to my collection.
FratFact #5: The Vineyard Vines Shep Shirt will not only remind you of the best days of your life, but be there for those to come.
The Story Behind Vineyard Vines
6) The Books Brothers Oxford Button-Down
The Brooks Brothers Oxford Button-Down shirt was first designed in 1896, by John E. Brooks himself. This timeless classic was certainly worn by every generation of men before you -- don't let the tradition end with you. The oxford fabric keeps you cool and classy during Sunday mass, and should be your date night go-to.
FratFact #6: Brooks Brothers is the true divider between the real frat stars, and the imposters.
7) The Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt
This is your everyday staple. Perfect for football games, tailgating, house parties, the occasional class, and your campus job interview; I recommend you own at least three. However, as chances of a poser GDI spilling his Natty Light on the front of your Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt are exceedingly high, four may be in order.
FratFact #7: Should a poser GDI choose to spill a Natty Light on the front of your Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt, all bets are off.
Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt
8) Brooks Brothers Seersucker
seer-suck-er ~ n.
A light thin fabric, generally cotton, linen, or rayon, with a crinkled surface and a usually striped pattern.
Seersucker has been a southern classic for centuries. It's exceedingly stylish, and beyond comfortable. This fabric's roots go back to 6th century India, where the name was first derived from words meaning milk and sugar. Brooks Brothers seersucker is to be worn during the summer months, for as any southern man knows, oppressive heat and humidity are no excuse for poor dress.
Brooks Brothers seersucker is available in many varieties, though most often seen as a sport coat.
FratFact #8: Seersucker will keep you cool during your August day-drinking endeavors.
9) The Blue Blazer
No, not the flaming cocktail, or the professional wrestler.
The blue blazer serves as a fantastic wardrobe alternative to the Vineyard Vines Shep Shirt, as it can also be worn during any time of the year, for any occasion. The blue blazer can be sported with a variety of other clothes, ranging from a tee-shirt, to a shirt and tie. It is most often paired with a pair of tan khaki or chino pants, though look great with jeans as well.
FratFact #9: When wearing the blue blazer, life just gets easier.
10) Chinos, Khakis & Pastel Shorts
We've reached the bottom half of your wardrobe, and as any southern frat star would know, there are only three options: chinos, khakis, and pastel shorts.
Starting with the pants, both chinos and khakis will complete your classic look, though there is a slight difference between the two. The chino is indigenous to China, whereas the khaki was originally the pride of the Brits, introduced to America after World War II. Both are comfortable, and perform the same purpose, however the chino has an ever-so-slight edge in the class department. Regardless of your ultimate decision, these pants are to be bought in a shade of tan.
For the warmer months, shorts are the savior, specifically pastel shorts. Why pastel shorts are a wardrobe essential of decades of frat stars remains a mystery, but it is remains as much of a staple as ever. In terms of shades: light blue, light green, flaming orange, Nantucket red, and flamboyant yellow remain king. These shorts come in a variety of fabrics, though for the days of intense heat and humidity, seersucker shorts reign supreme.
FratFact #10: It's called Nantucket Red, not pink.
My sincerest congratulations, brother. You are now equipped with the knowledge of the wardrobe essentials needed to claim your title as frat star.
Go forth, and conquer.