Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.
Oh, Yeah, Man
there was that certain time when, (pardon the pun), men were men and women were women. It's not enough that people look sharp, clean, and about town, no. It goes a lot deeper than that. Oh, how I wish that it were that simple to only look sharp. What a simple, peaceful life we would have.
I wish I knew exactly when the "looking sharp" and all that goes with it began, but I confess. I am ignorant of this fact. I would think that the metamorphis began somewhere in the south where a couple of guys are working and since this is Friday evening around 5 p.m., something hits the two after viewing a fellow buddy speeding down the road in his car that he bought "on time" and he is with his best girlfriend headed to town.
"This" vision hits the two. Now they look at each other and decide that they too, should take to heading home, taking baths (not together), dressing-up and following their pal and head to town. But with one exception. These two do not have an automobile, so with no other way of going, but walking, they set-out for town.
These Two Guys Are Dressed
"to the nine's" and it would appear that a bath and some clean dressed clothes causes them to have another thought: Tom, one says. I feel so good with these clothes that I feel like going to the funeral home and see who's there. Needless to say, Tom is stunned with this awkward remark, but agrees with Bobby, his buddy.
And in this lies the reason why men (and later, women) learned early on why they need to dress accordingly in order to have a great time and the most-obvious reason: for the attention given by those around them. Personally, I would gamble that the second reason makes more sense than the other one.
The the two plod, and hoof it all the way to town, but miraculously still look pressed and shined enough to enter any cafe that has waitresses. That, friends, says a lot about men's dressing-up. To be able to sit down in a classy cafe and eat like gentlemen and ladies. Isn't that enough?
Not Hardly, There Are More Reasons
why men (in this day and time) learned to dress-up and when they talk to their wives and girlfriends who are wiser than the husbands, finally have a mindset to dress nicely for every social event. Events such as . . .
⦁ Attending a grand opening for a local business.
⦁ Heading to a concert by a famous Country Music star "all the way from Nashville."
⦁ Going on vacation (yes, vacation. Sure this one's a stretch, but it worked)
⦁ Helping a first-time husband help their wife have their first baby.
⦁ Of course, the same reason than above except the husband and wife are married.
⦁ Going to church.
Now The Ladies' Turn . . .
⦁ Because they want to look as nice as their girlfriends
⦁ Going on dates. (this one also applies to the men's section).
⦁ Going to the drive-in.
⦁ Going on weekend get-aways (two days at the Red Horse Motel out of town)
⦁ Jealous because their girlfriend/wife winked at their dressed-up hubby.
⦁ Because they love to spend the hubby's hard-earned bucks at work.
Reasonable Q&A About Women's and Men's Dress-up
Q: I am a woman. Should I dress-up to serve jury duty?
A: Sure. You'd be held in comtempt if you do not. And wear a pretty dress, heels, hair-do.
Q: I am a man. Should I dress-up to attend a job interview?
A: Of course. Do not be a boob. Dressing sloppy will guarantee you a "not hiing" comment.
Q: If God doesn't mind what I wear in church, why should I dress-up?
A: If you a woman or man, do not go in the nude. We are not in the Garden of Eden prior to Satan's entrance. Yes. By all means. Wear nice, but not flashy clothing.
Q: I am a single woman, but not having many dates. Will a new wardrobe help me get a hot date for Friday night?
A: Not that much. If you are not that pretty, then all of the dresses in the world won't help you.
Q: Same question and answer for a man.
Q: Will I be told to leave church, job, and school for dressing scantily?
A: Sure. People should dress moderately, not like apes and wear only their hair.
After all of this guff, the main line reveals that it was just a matter of human ego. The same thing that rules ourselves when we glance into a mirror no matter how big it is. Ego! What a discovery. Yeah. At least it sounded wise.
Summary (Yeah. I had a summary).
I know that I may have been a bit comical about dressing. I tried my best to make both men and women into a comedy light. Mostly, this hub was in fun, but not the dressing-up to gain attention of the opposite sex. Thanks for reading. Kenneth.
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