Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.
Well, here we go again. I hate writing these tips that clarify when I have to use brand names to get the point across. You will see that I had to use Sears-Roebuck, Hanes and L'eggs hosiery but only to make an editorial point. In no way do I ask any of you to run like the wind and buy the products that I have mentioned. Thanks so much. Kenneth.
Let's see. Who is credited for beginning the wearing of silk stockings? Well, it was none other than Queen Elizabeth I. If you recall your history, it was the first well known female to have worn stockings and have it recorded. YESS! She received her first pair of knit silk stockings in 1560. Male subjects of The queen adored the softness of the luxury accessory and decided to wear silk stockings for the rest of her life. Being that stockings of this time were made of materials such as silk and wool, not elastic or supportive and had to be kept up by garters or made fully-fashioned, meaning custom made.
That takes care of Queen Elizabeth I. But we must look to the future and find-out just what the history of nylon stockings have to hold. For the women, plenty. And for us guys, not so much. At least in my case. I was fully-content to wear socks--when I did wear socks. I don't wear them anymore. I guess I was trying to invent a new fashion statement.
The evolution of hose is very meteoric in the fact that when they caught on, man, they caught on. I cannot help but be thankful. I first was privy to 1967, junior high, and from the previous summer to the fall of '67, the girls sure had changed. I knew this well, because a few of them were wearing sheer hose and my eyes were frozen in appreciation. But since I was a secret girl watcher, I never got caught appreciating the girls with hose because they were very pretty.
Which brings "the" pointed question that I am asking you, the guys and girls who read this piece. Does the sheer stockings add to a woman's beauty? I would not answer either way. I knew the same girls in '67 who didn't wear stockings and they looked gorgeous. So what is the deciding vote?
Then before stockings became fashion musts, did you know that the moralists in the early 20's pressured the stocking designers to only manufacture their goods in one color--black. I guess these early moralists were kid to the legendary Henry Ford, who insisted that all of his motel T's were black. Sounds a bit suspicious to me.
The hose took on a brand-new look in the late 1920's or the Roaring Twenties with the pretty flapper girls who dared to smoke openly, bob their hair off and wear, (gulp), nylons with the tops in full view. Some people, guys that is, will say that "this" era was the best time in American history.
In World War II, the U.S.A. and Germany were in hot battle, but the edge went to both nations by the name of Mata Hari, a gorgeous, soft-spoken, sexy double agent who was able to coax the most-guarded information only available to the higher-up's. I have looked at Hara's documentary and she was very lovely.No joke. So you can say that stockings helped win World War II.
And history records that when several American GI's were in France on a leave from duty, some used a box of candy and a pair of sheer stockings to entice those hard-to-get girls who loved these two items and were glad to enjoy the soldier's company for hours. Yes, stockings did have a shady side, the dark side of bribery.
Hanes L'eggs is a brand of pantyhose that premiered in 1969. This new ladies hosiery which radically changed the hosiery marketplace. There were novel developments were the egg-shaped plastic product container, the shift to consignment sales in drug stores and groceries, and the in-store product racks designed to emphasize the egg shape. The brand logo hinted at a pair of chicks or eggs in the lettering.
This L'eggs product was easily compared to the future NASA launching due to just how much the pantyhose loved by most all women, helped to solidify the brand and product. Did this creation affect how my buddies and I loved to appreciate pretty girls wearing sheer pantyhose? Just what do you think? We were not stupid by any rate.
But silk nylons still had a strong foothold, no pun intended, in the hosiery sales in America. Fact is, those large Sears-Roebuck catalogs that were mailed though the U.S. Post Office to every person who lived on a route or had a post office box and I can confess and I am sure that you guys, when we were young, loved to sneak the catalog and find the hosiery ads with the lovely women in negligees. We even tried to work after school to save our money and fly to a photo session for Sears and of course, the lovely girls.
This section is a very sensitive bit of information, but I feel that it's needed. I said that silk stockings had a strong foothold in the areas of film and print. Well that is still the way it is today in 2022. I won't name names because I do not think it needs to be put in print, but the girl in the black underwear and silk stockings is a photo good for catalog use and to be used by men who still love the pin-up's that are expensive collectibles today.
I dare say that silk stockings had more of a foothold. They kept (this) part of women's hosiery making money 24/7.
But to be completely honest, silk stockings, sheer or colored, and even pantyhose of every brand had a few enemies for women to face mostly when they didn't expect it. Let's say that one day a pretty girl is almost running to ride on the city bus so she can get to work, but just as soon as she waits for the bus, she has an unusual feeling and a feeling that women of all areas can appreciate.
She simply looks down and there on her left leg is a sight of horror. A big run that started from underneath her skirt and almost down to her thigh. And if runners do not cause women irritation, then when some women dress hurriedly, they find out later in the morning at work that their pantyhose is wrinkled in the wrong place and she is instantly fearful that she will have to walk to somewhere in the office in plain sight of her coworkers.
Now for my most-embarrassing episode featuring a pretty girl's stockings. I was on a date with this pretty girl and the atmosphere was perfect, weather and all. We rode and talked for a while when I noticed that she was wearing a nice shorts outfit that I loved. Then, as all men whose mouth gets ahead of their brain, I said this: "Say, your nylons are winkled." To which she replied, "I am NOT wearing nylons!" The date was soon over.
To all of the women who still wear silk nylons, hose, and pantyhose, I love all of you and appreciate you all.
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© 2022 Kenneth Avery