Isn't She Lovely...
One of my readers, the lovely Madeline, raised a very eloquent point with regards to why men who like to wear lingerie like to wear lingerie, and other womens clothing as well. Madeline said: "It's only since I've been playing with more complete outfits have I discovered the POWER that women can possess in enhancing their (sexual) appearance and appeal. "
This is an excellent point, and one that I feel does indeed deserve attention. In most of nature, it is the male who sports the brightly colored plumage, think of a peacock, for example. In the case of the human animal however, (at least the modern human animal) the shoe is on the other foot. It is the female who adorns herself with make up, and who puts on bright and flashy clothes. We only need to look at the world of formal attire to see the differences. Womens gowns come in a wide range of styles, colors, and fabrics. Any Hollywood red carpet event is sure to be ornamented with enough glam and glitter to thoroughly dazzle the eye, and all of it is likely to be worn by women. Men however, could easily be wearing the same suit to every occasion, and I doubt that anyone would notice.
It is only when, as Madeline recounted, a man begins to experiment with lingerie, and perhaps go a little further into trying out some make up and other womens accessories, that he realizes just how very different he looks. He gains the power to transform from a dull looking fellow into a bird of paradise. Is there any wonder that some men become infatuated with women's clothing?
There is an Arabic word 'Fitna', which means both 'beautiful woman', and 'chaos'. The double meaning of this word is an acknowledgment of the havoc that a beautiful woman can wreak. Though we have existed largely in a patriarchal societies throughout history, women, and their beauty have played key roles at many times. Two such examples are Helen of Troy, the infamous face that launched a thousand ships, and Monica Lewinsky, the woman who got the most powerful man in the world impeached.
I do not doubt that men experience a thrill when they find themselves able to tap into this source of feminine power, by dressing as a woman, and experiencing the transformation that make up and clothing can effect.
This 'power' thing is however, a double edged sword. After all, if a celebrity lady showed up to a years' worth of events wearing the same dress every time, she would be cruelly mocked and ridiculed. This is due to the lack of depth in the media and entertainment industry as a whole, who seem unable to look beyond a pair of nice breasts and a pretty dress, but that is a discussion for another time.
Perhaps then, it is men who can really truly enjoy this 'power' as they are able to do so without feeling obligated. A man can put on panties, a skirt, and some lipstick and enjoy himself for a few hours, then slip into a comfortable suit, or some jeans, wash the make up off, and still be treated well and taken seriously. A woman who does not wear make up, and who pays about the same attention to her wardrobe as the average man does, is often seen as dowdy, unprofessional, and unattractive.
Apologies if this seems to have slipped into a feminist place, however the focus of much of my writings on the topic of men wearing lingerie is that any person should be able to experience equality and enjoyment no matter what mode of dress they choose to wear.
Long story short chaps, enjoy the experience and power of wearing womens lingerie and clothing, but spare a thought for those who may be trapped in their beautiful gilded cage.
Clive Cussler on July 14, 2020:
Panty lovers have the same stories.Nice to know we think alike.
Scottynheels on January 07, 2019:
I have been wearing lingerie for years, I love it even as a teen I would slip on my neighbors panties and lingerie as I watered her plants and such while they were on vacation. I have always been an (Alpha male) I guess specially in the work place I have been in a role of leader/supervisor making sure deadline are met and the facilities continue to operate as designed while managing a staff of at least 25 or 30. I had to hide it from my first wife. The second time I refused to do so and was open and honest about it from the start with my current wife likes to see me in it and things get pretty wild and naughty at times. I have not acted on it but we are both pretty sure I'm bisexual, I am open to trying it if she ever wants to. I kind of strayed from my thoughts for minutes sorry about that, what I was getting at is for me when I dress up I feel a sense of release of power and not being in charge letting someone else call the shots for a while is so relaxing and worry free. these are Just some of the great things I love about wearing sexy women's lingerie. I also have a great selection of heels I prefer sling back peep toes. there I go again getting off track Anyway I love it. my page is brand new but feel free to look me up on face book. I'm looking for people who have the same interests.
Bye Bye for now
Kathleen D. on October 31, 2018:
I get a sense of power if I can get a boyfriend to wear panties and a bra for me. I don't want a crossdresser in the outward sense, but rather a guy who will do this for me in a way that it won't show under his guy clothes. If he will wear a padded bra for me then I know he's mine. It's our little secret when we go out It doesn't show under a suit or coat. All the guys I've dated have found it very romantic. It also helps discourage them from cheating, so it's a sign of their devotion to me. I sometimes add pantyhose or stockings and corset to their wardrobe to provide some variety.
femguy on April 05, 2010:
Only alpha males think of women as 2nd. class citizens and they think much less of smaller feminine males such as myself. It feeds their boarish ego. As for me I idolize women and prey to live my next life as one. I cherish everything female and only get relief of being in the wrong body when I can put on makeup and womens clothes.
Margueritte on December 30, 2009:
Pamela said it all for me when she said
"I grew up looking up to the women in my life and enjoying the attempt to look like and try to be like them. I was confused for years because I am not attracted to men, but have realized that this only because I love women" Hope,I'm also straight and single and love every thing feminine, I've never thought of women as being 2nd class but Superior to the male in every way and if I was able to transition would be happy to join the ranks of woman. I also feel that woman have been brainwashed over the many years to think that it's wrong for a heterosexual male to show his feminine side to have the same Equality with them in fashions. I'm so happy to have found Hope Alexander, she is a breath air for me because I'm pushing for Equality in Fashions with the hope that some day the label crossdressing will no longer be used and the hate that we see today will be gone. Hope Alexander, I use your work here to post on Twitter to push for Equality in Fashions with No gender in clothing, I hope that is OK with you, thank you for all your work in the area of Equality in Fashions.
I hope every one here has a Happy New Year
Hope Alexander you are Awesome!
Marree Jay on December 05, 2009:
Unfortunately God ripped me off and made me look like some kind of dude! That's just wrong :-) Need makeup...lots hehehe
pauls_boat on November 26, 2009:
i have to admit i do not take as long as most women to get ready to go out, weather it is in a mans suit or in a nice dress i donot spend the time on putting on makeup or doing my hair i belive most women get brainwashed to think that they have to spend most of the day prepairing to go out at the night time when all they need is a decent dress/skirt and a little makeup just to enhance the natural features of their face they should not cover up what god gave them.
Pamela Scott on August 16, 2009:
I have lived as a woman for the past 8 years. I started wearing panties when I was around 3 but did not come our until I was 35 years old to my mother. I still look masculine in appearance, but identify as a woman. I have not had my surgery yet $$$$$.
I grew up looking up to the women in my life and enjoying the attempt to look like and try to be like them. I was confused for years because I am not attracted to men, but have realized that this only because I love women. I am single, been married twice and have a daughter who knows about me.
I can relate to what I have read here, because you see, everyday, "men" putting women down for being themselves, strong, beautifull. All of this is due to their own insecurities with themselves as men. "Women" throughout time have been in charge of the home, the budget, the children and even the husband.
Well I could rant forever so I will sign off for now, but I love all women, be strong.
Frieda Babbley from Saint Louis, MO on August 16, 2009:
LatexLeah has made a very good point. Something to ponder anyway. I'm with you hope, I never thought of myself as second class, but if you think of the derogatory words people use to put down others, well, they stem from something feminine. Interesting. I'm going to to have to seriously consider that idea.
celtichic on May 30, 2009:
hi my femme name is celtichic. i've worn panties since the age of 3 when i asked my mother to buy me girls clothes. she was/is an enlightened woman/mother! she bought me a dress (to wear only at home she said!) and many panties. i've been wearing lingerie under my men's clothes all my life...50 years. i am a great fan of Hope Alexander. lace, panties, lingerie is part of me and gives me great joy. my wife loves my crossdressing! three cheers for all of you who support it and do it.
supersteve on May 30, 2009:
when i dress as a woman i feel fantastic and femine i feel like a woman i am a woman at least why i am dreaming
Jakkie on May 13, 2009:
The first time I dressed enfemme, I could not believe how womanly I felt and how much it made me appreciate all of the things women do to make themselves appealing.
Women of America, I love you and don't ever think that the small things that you do in the interest of appeal go unnoticed. Keep it up!
jason on February 01, 2009:
We definitely do not see women as 2nd class. But I feel jealous, that women can wear anything. It is unfair that women have issues with men wearing lingerie, but I think this is more their fear of being judged by their friends if they find out. The biggest critic of women is women, a man who wears panties already knows he can not wear them around his male friends.
david on January 30, 2009:
I agree with the last comment. Ive never thought of women as being 2nd class (as its been put). I like to think that I'm equal to a woman, not superior or inferior. I think it's better for a man and a woman to keep each other in check rather than one putting the other down out of principle that one is supposedly right even when they're wrong. It all comes down to treating others as you'd want them to treat you. It's about seeing someone for who they are and not what they wear. We've come a long way in equality for women, people with different ethnic backgrounds, and even for people who are gay/lesbian... but we still have a long way to go obviously. Just thought I'd share my thoughts.
As far as the article, I definitely feel different when wearing panties. I haven't put on any make up though. I think I want to try now that I've read this just to see what its like.
bsex on October 03, 2008:
To Hope & LatexLeah above, I'll bet that men that wear just panties right through to cross-dressers don't think women are 2nd class. I guess it's because we have a feminine side that we are willing to deal with and accept. I've never ever thought women were not equal. If they wish to push into what is described as a man's world , so be it. Just let men move a little to the female world.
Wear panties 24/7, love the feeling!
Hope Alexander (author) on September 29, 2008:
You know Leah, in all my many rantings and ramblings I never thought about that. (Probably because being a woman, I don't see myself as being second class in any way), but come to think of it, you're probably right.
LatexLeah on September 29, 2008:
Sadly, women are still relegated to 2nd class citizens in our culture in many ways. This is one of the reasons I believe crossdressing is viewed in such a poor light. Why would a man "trade down?" What's wrong with him?
Hope Alexander (author) on March 06, 2008:
Thank you for sharing madeline, that was very eloquent indeed, and I am sure that many readers will be able to empathize with what you have expressed here. Thank you also for your kind comments. I'd love to see your blog, feel free to leave a link :)
madeleine from Takoma Park, Maryland on March 06, 2008:
My thoughts on this Hub I've turned into my very first blog which I repeat (in part & essence) here:
A woman, especially what one would consider an attractive, feminine woman, dressed nicely, well-groomed and made-up, unfairly or not, has always taken my breath away. As a photographer, I admire and appreciate every square inch of the classic (as in ancient Hellenistic Greek) feminine form and have felt this way as long as I can remember-since I was a young child. The smell, the sight, the sound and the touch...have always been rapturous to me.
I recall the sensation of wearing nylons and high heeled shoes and seeing my ordinary legs be transferred into long, elegant, shapely, and even sexy legs, just by the application of a 3 inch heel and a little nylon. And the height increase and sense of self confidence in just walking across the floor! It was like a dose of instant confidence! Or of the first time I was reasonably successful in trying on make-up. A little blush on a cheek, some eyeliner, mascara, & lip gloss and voila! An ordinary face & eyes are transformed into a thing of liquid beauty, warmth, intensity & allure! (At least as much as a middle-aged man can muster).
This ability to transform oneself and almost immediately project a different persona and confidence is a uniquely feminine experience that a man cannot ever hope to experience or understand, until he himself has put on the makeup and worn the clothes & experienced that transformation... no matter how poorly & inadequate that expression may be.
And it's effect on men is perhaps more powerful than many but the most savvy of women, can understand and take advantage of that knowledge can be.
I personally hope and believe, that more women are experiencing their own sense of empowerment, in whatever form it may be, if only in their own self-acceptance. And what an incredible amount of power and self ownership it can be. And in return my hope is that men can own and embrace their own "feminine" aspects, while realizing that they don't have to give up or sacrifice any of what makes them a man.
The renown psychologist and researcher Carl Jung described this as the anima, and the animas. The inner masculine and feminine aspects which are in everyone. Only an acceptance of both aspects makes us more whole and complete. Now THAT'S empowerment in the best sense for men, too!
Yes, Hope I understand that it can be a double edged sword, and that it is easy to project stereotypes, but my definition and understanding of who or what is beautiful have expanded substantially in recent years and I am often able to transcend stereotypes to a broader and deeper appreciation of the "fairer sex".
Thanks for the acknowledgement Hope. I'm flattered that my response to a previous hub has inspired you to another. Your postings, whether I share you point of view or not, never fail to be less than stimulating, thought provoking, well expressed, and often entertaining in their wry observations and ascerbic humor.
davepilotch47 on March 05, 2008:
If it were not for those of you women stuck in your "beautiful gilded cage" then we would not have anything to emulate! I'm sorry for your cage but also thank you because the beauty of the female can truly be magically, something men just can't replicate!
LatexLeah on March 05, 2008:
Let's not forget that oh so wonderful feeling of a whisper of cool air across freshly "nair'ed" silky nyon'ed thighs. Yes indeed, takes my breath away.