Skip to main content

Is he gay if he wears women's panties?

Does he dare?


Nothing gay here...


This is one of those questions that really represents a host of other questions. Questions like, why did I just find my boyfriend/husband wearing my panties? Do real men wear panties? Is he less heterosexual because he likes the feel of silk and satin? Is he, in fact gay if he wears women's panties? To the last one I answer, maybe. It depends on whether or not he likes to have sex with men I guess.

Here's the real issue: Men in Lingerie.

What's the deal with that? What do you do if you find your partner likes this sort of thing? And why on earth do they like it?

A few possible answers to the question of their liking lingerie question go as such:

Some men like it because they like to feel feminine, others like to put a kinky little twist on it and have their partners “force” them to wear women's lingerie and clothing in a phenomenon that has come to be known as “forced feminization.”

Some men are on the path to becoming trans gendered, but not all are, and one shouldn't immediately leap to this conclusion. It's rather like getting a headache and deciding you have a brain tumor, the link is tenuous at best, and all you stand to gain from sensationalizing the issue is a lot of stress and pain.

Still other men don't care one whit about feeling feminine, they just like the tactile sensation that lingerie imparts. While it may initially be hard to believe this whilst staring at a man in silk stockings and a bra, the shock will wear off after a while.

Do real men wear panties? Sometimes, yes.

What should you do if you find your man to be a panty man?

Figure out if you can live with it, maybe even come to love it as part of him. It certainly adds an interesting extra dimension to one's intimate life when a woman is making love to a man with even more frills about him than she has.

If you cannot live with it, then make your peace with it, and him, and move on. This is rather an extreme solution to a problem that need not necessarily be one. Just because he likes to wear lace occasionally doesn't mean that he's any less manly. Perhaps he'll wear it under his camouflage gear when he goes to hunt Grizzly Bears with his bare hands, for example, or maybe he will wear it under his police uniform, or under his doctor's scrubs. You might see a little lace peeking out from under the collar of a construction worker even. Men in lingerie come in all shapes and forms.

If you're in any doubt, try watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show a few dozen times, if that Frankenfurter doesn't start to grow on you after a while, I'd be surprised. Of course, he may have made a man to service him sexually, but he didn't turn down Janet now did he? Definitely not gay.

For further discussion, and some sexy lingerie for men, (as well as some very cute girls modeling it) click HERE


greek man on March 13, 2018:

i love g-strings, thongs and tangas, i own hundreds of types of panties, i shop them on line, i own only 3 pairs of mens undies only for medical checkups etc

USANumber1 on January 21, 2010:

So what's wrong with a guy wearing panties? I got interested in panties when I was a teenager, and since then I wear them on a regular basis. I get a prticular thrill from wearing them to work. Only I know what frillies have on, (I think) and that gives me a real thrill. I hope that one day I can get a girlfriend who I can tell about my little secret.

Brian O'Neill from Sactown on September 09, 2009:

Scroll to Continue

I've been wearing panties for the past 10 years, ever since I discovered them in my sister's closet. Nothing's wrong with that. Since then I have worn nothing but women's underwear.

Tim Williams on April 11, 2009:

I wear womens underwear all the time. I enjoy wearing them when I go to work, out to the bars and even at home in bed. I also like to wear bras too. I wear 36 A AND 36 B. I get the panties, bras at Wal Mart, Sears and in mall shops at times. I live by myself and I have fun wearing the womens underwear/panties and bras all the time.

GetRhythm on April 10, 2009:

I've been wearing pantites for a while and I'm still very much interested in women. Just because it's made for women doesn't mean I'm not straight for wearing it. It isn't what society would call normal, but it is common.

P.Clark on March 16, 2009:

My wife has allways liked me to wear panties and so do I.

Jujo Panty on March 12, 2009:

I wear panties myself and have been doing so since last 25 years! I wear them for their soft and smooth/silky feel. I have all kinds of panties & I do NOT wear skirts, bras etc. I am a STRAIGHT guy NOT TG nor gay. I have my family. My wife and I go togather for shopping and we pick up our undies (panties if it pleases you all) from same shop or counters at times she makes the choice for me and then I go for the perfect fit / size. Further my views are summed up here under.Well straight men putting on Boxers and briefs is a passe. Straight men having old and clumsy fashion ideas stick to them. Today's men who are bold enough, having flair, sensuous feelings and revolutionary fashion ideas put on lacy and sheer underwear. It may be in the form G-strings, Thongs, Tangas or simply call them 'Panties (if it so pleases you because slowly panty is acquiring a unisex meaning). Manufacturers like Hom, Moschino, International male etc. are making net and silky/satin underwear for men.

History says about mens underwear... in pre-Victorian France, Germany and England, mostly the aristocratic men wore lace it was on their cuffs and scarves and had it trimmed on their underwear. . T H E W O M E N W E R E P L A I N E R ! !

Lastly I suppose the answer to the question is, that it's okay for men to wear lace, satin and sheer underwear if they are comfortable with the choice. And hopefully, their significant others are ok with the choice too, since that seems to make a happier relationship for certain.

Sibli Luaxessna from Atlanta, Georgia on March 05, 2009:

One could just as easily ask “does wearing men’s boxer shorts make women lesbians. Let me say that I don’t care for boxers. But the bottom line is NO

What you wear has nothing to do with your sexual orientation, the only thing that does is what you like in a partner. You either like your same sex or the opposite one or both or none, but who ever cares enough about the none’s? Anyways that is it. It has nothing to do with anything else.

I do have one thing to say I hope you don’t find too irritating; I despaired reading the comment “Some men are on the path to becoming trans gendered…” I take offence to the wording of this phrase. It isn’t a big deal in context but it stings my TG friend like a bee. She would prefer that the implication transgender was not misleading to be something you walk into. From our perspective it can be discovered but it is NOT a choice any more than being gay is a choice. People can “realize” or stop lying to themselves about being gay or being transgender or both, but leaving it in doubt as it is worded is one of the issues they face now. Again I am not trying to tear anything from your excellent hub, this is just a serious and passionate fine point, and we try to illuminate even the slightest niche where darkness could creep in. K

Personally I am pretty sure at least in my opinion if you are going to wear something it should fit you and trimming some hair is a nice touch, wear them like you own them. After all people can’t tease you or ridicule you half as bad if you have the strength of character to stand up for yourself.

So basically wear your panties with the taste of a woman and take it like a man.

Sincerely, hugs


Sib supports those who seek freedom of expression, end of hate crimes, burning away ignorance with education and wisdom and the plight of transgender. And in all things her sexual orientation is between her and those who love her only.

bigred214 on March 01, 2009:

I love the feeling of wearing sexy feminine lingerie. There's nothing like the feeling of sleeping in a satin chemise with matching panties sensously sliding across my satin sheets at night. I absolutely love the smells and feel of wearing makeup as well. As my girlfriends would attest to this does not make me gay in any way...they are always satisfied :)


aj on February 25, 2009:

I wear my wifespanty qday. she helps me to pick the colors. We share and care w/o problem last few years. At-times we exchange the ones we are wearing in he day intact with liners.Enjoy

Wifewholushubbyinpanties on January 17, 2009:


I am sorry your wife does not enjoy it. I found out that my husband enjoys this, an d OMG it has made our sex life amazing. I love the time that we get to share when we do this.

scantilyclad on January 07, 2009:

EXACTLY!!!!! Don't label someone just because of what they wear, for me it's panties 24/7, and no i am not gay

likewhatiam on January 03, 2009:

Hi hope just another comment on men being gay, I thought you had to like men to be gay not because you wear something that is classified female wear only. Panties for me are the most comfortable underwear I have ever had the privilege to wear and I think that we should be able to wear what we want without discrimination. Keep up the good work maybe one day we will be able to be accepted as normal.

Bill on January 03, 2009:

As a guy, I like to wear french cut and hi-cut pantis. I wear a size 8 depending on brand. I find them very comfortable, and sexy as well.

swimmerguy on December 31, 2008:

I have been wearing panties for several years and i cant imagine never finding out how much more comfortable they are than men's boxers/briefs... i prefer thongs to any other kind of panties and have a couple dozen pairs that i wear almost daily... they are also much more comfortable to sleep in than boxers... i have a girlfriend right now that only recently learned of my habit and she has only attatched to me more because she says it helped expand her panty collection because we wear the same size...

Dave on December 27, 2008:

I bid on Ebay for satin panties and get a real thrill when they arrive. I love to look at myself in the mirror in them. I also sleep in them and sometimes wear them to work under my jeans. The reason that I like them so much, besides that I feel 'feminine' in them (I'm gay) is that the leg elastic and at the waistband are softer and have more stretch than any nylon underwear that they sell for men. I also love tricot underwear and girdles as well as bras. I've bought several of them on Ebay as well and I love dressing up in them to watch television or just to relax. Hope that I've shed some light on reasons that men (even gay ones) wear women's panties and other apparel.

Cal on December 20, 2008:

There is on law against men wearing panties, as with women wearing boxer or jockey shorts it is a matter of preferance. I even wear panties sometime they feel less restricting and feel good espically the silk hi cut panties or microfiber ones. Ladies have so many styles and fabrics to choose from even colors as with men it is the standard shorts and very little colors to choose from.

Matter of fact I have on a pair of panties now and feel so good in them. Keep up the good work men

bigun on December 03, 2008:

i have been wearing women's panties fpr over twenty years. My wife and I wear the same size and I love the way they feel on

John Doe on November 28, 2008:

I think that men like to feel sexy , just as women do. I at one time wore womens underthings. For me, the feel of the nylon against my MANHOOD really ex-cited me.Then I found nylon underwear for men. Now I have a good selection and no longer wear womens clothing. And I'm not gay. I just like to feel sexy.

Max2x says: on November 28, 2008:

I have been wearing ladies panties for years. It started when I took a pair of nylon breifs with a lace top, off the neighbors cloths line. In early years I took panties in the laundry mat as I crused by late night. Many a time women would leave a pair. Between the neighbor ladys panties, those I picked up in the laundry mat, and my collection of panties of all of my girlfriends, I was hooked on those soft feeling and sexy panties. I wish I still had that collection of panties, but this way I can just pick one up or buy something that catches my eye.

jc on November 25, 2008:

He's not gay. Just like me. like the way its feel. softly. but surely he just like women ....

scantilyclad on November 13, 2008:

I wear panties 24/7, also like anonymous i sleep in womens sleepwear, i wear patyhose and a slip sometimes as well, i find them much more comfortable than mens wear.

lingerielover on October 15, 2008:

Nothing wrong with it, if a man likes to wear panties and other feminine stuff. We should be aware that most man have a feminine side too. But our society usually doesn´t accept that. A man in panties or other lingerie breaks a taboo.

If a woman finds out that her partner enjoys wearing lingerie the main question should be: Does this change her partner? Isn´t he still the same man as ever? On the contrary. I see some advantages therein. A man who is strong enaugh to accept his feminine side is more sensitive and caring.

Most of the lingerie or stocking wearing men start at a young age. Why was I so fascinated of stockings and lingerie? I have no answer to that question. I only know that after long years I will never give up. And it has absolutely nothing to do with being gay. They simply love the silky and smooth feeling of the materials. I think every man who has tried some sheer stockings on his shaved legs will understand.

sloggilover on September 04, 2008:

I love panties, I love my wife. I am 100% man but I'm wearing women panties for years.

-Anonymous on August 25, 2008:

Kudos to the women that accept or enjoy panty-wearing. I am a straight male that really enjoys wearing panties everyday. I still have traditional male underwear that I've worn only once in the past year, and keep it "just in case." I also wear traditional female nightwear(Fredericks, Victoria's Secret, Macy's) to sleep in. Like Johnboy(above) I "have no qualms about shopping," only I do it under the pretense that I'm shopping for someone else. I also applied for, and got a job at Victoria's Secret. Love my job!

JD on August 17, 2008:

As a gay man I can tell you that nothing about femininity appeals to me at all.

I'm much more turned on by Y-fronts than panties and my relationship is built on sameness not difference.

ray1960 on August 08, 2008:

I wear panties all the time, I do not even own any mens underware anymore. I never go anywhere without my panties. My wife helps me pick them out. I also wear bras, but that is because I fill out a full 38B cup bra and it has just become a normal piece of clothing to me.

ALF48 on May 17, 2008:

Definitely not gay. The feel and turn-on of panties is amazing. The taboo factor works here too. It's "bad."

When it comes to acceptance it's all about the societal conceptions. My girl is absolultely amazing. She is completely tolerant of bikinis after initially finding them odd just for their similarity to her underwear, string bikinis are "odd/weird/strange" but ok, but anything beyond that (i.e. lace trim) is "slightly disturbing" and despite it being the farthest from the truth, "gay seeming." I guess it's all about breaking free of old school societally induced notions. Granted, I'd never wear/want to wear a thong or something that would be amazingly hott on her like that, but what's wrong with a guy wearing a softer/silkier bikini type panty? Just the notion I suppose. It has no bearing on true sexuality unless one is doing it for reasons that just don't figure into my conceptualization. on April 17, 2008:

my huaband them, then also my body suit,38 H bra slips, how it all stated he always love the feeling of my undi, i am not worry yet, would say he is becoming a crossdress Irine

Lisa on March 31, 2008:

Putting men into pretty panties and such things is a great way to keep him in line and control him

matt h on March 12, 2008:

I totaty enjoy wearing womens panties. I eojoy the way they feel as well look. why is it so taboo, for men to love this so much?

LatexLeah on February 21, 2008:

Don't click twice, it's alright.

LatexLeah on February 21, 2008:

No, he's not gay. He's not even a "deviant". Just a "variant".

CD Gal in MA on January 29, 2008:

I have loved to wear women's clothes since I was about 8. I am now 55, married with two grown girls and still love to dress up in pretty feminine clothing. In fact, I am currently wearing a pretty shirtdress, bra, panties, garters and stockings, slip and high heels. I am not gay, nor do I have any same sex feelings, I just love to dress up from time to time. My wife knows, and thinks it's cute. Our love life has never been better.

Johnboy on January 17, 2008:

I have been wearing panties or quite a while now. Wouldn't have it any other way. I don't even own any male underwear. My wife highly approves of this and she quite often buys me surprise panties. I have no qualms about going into a woman's store to buy panties for myself. If asked, I don't hesitate to say they are for me. I love wearing panties and don't care who else knows!

Lisa on January 14, 2008:

I often make my husband wear panties ! It helps keep him in line , he does like it . This week I am going to shave his legs and force him to wear pantyhose to workall day under his suit , Then maybe he can find his way home on time !

pantyboy on January 14, 2008:

i love wearing womens panties I have been hooked on wearing pretty panties since i was like 9 . I love it , no dam way i am gay i just wish i could find a women who was into it ! they exist but my current female could care less id like a women in control !

Hope Alexander (author) on December 19, 2007:

Thanks for weighing in with another positive female viewpoint there sweetsecret! :)

sweetsecret on December 19, 2007:

good for you stocking lover!

I think it's very important for both men and women to explore their sexuality and test their limits. I can say from experience that it's quite a fun journey!

stocking lover on December 15, 2007:

i have been wearing stockings and basques ,bras, and knickers since i was 15, and wear them under my clothes at work, i have two female sexual partners who love me wearing them while having sex and actively encourage me to wear the whole lot while doing it, i,m a straight guy who loves womans lingerie and am lucky enough to have two woman who like it too, i was upfront with them from the start and they appreciate that more than hiding it, so dont hide it men show and tell. you,ll be surprised how many womem do like men in female underwear, of all the women i have had sex with only 5 objected, but i soon found others that did like it.

Douglas on December 11, 2007:

My wife and I go shopping for panties and she always pick up two sets of the same style. A pair for me and hers. She likes to watch me wearing panties and this has improved our sexual relation. I like women and since we included this in our relationship has helped us to maintain a better sex. No heart feelings because wearing panties, nor guilt either.

SatinJenni from Burlington Ontario Canada on November 18, 2007:

Panties..Is their any other kind of underwear?

Dave on November 04, 2007:

I wouldn't dream of wearing anything other than what we British call knickers.

My wife finds it as sensual as I do.

jim on October 09, 2007:

I wear my wifes panties all the time.Also wear nylons.It helps our relationship when she feels in control,and by having me have a feminine role makes her the boss at home.Outside the house Im all man,but inside Im her maid.You men should try this.It was hard for her to get use to at first,now Im brushing her hair rubbing cream on her legs,and even letting her have her way in bed.

jim on October 07, 2007:

my wife loves me to dress in lace. we pick things out together, i can't wait to model lacey things for her. i always have and will love women.

Hope Alexander (author) on September 28, 2007:

Ah, loving matrimonial acceptance. :) It's a beautiful thing.

jtboswell on September 28, 2007:

to each his own. I would freak if I saw my husband in my underwear. But he a freak anyway!! HA HA.

Hope Alexander (author) on September 27, 2007:

Thanks for commenting guys :) I think it is good for people to see that there is a wide range of sexual expression out there and that it doesn't mean someone is gay because they like panties. Many men struggle with acceptance on this one.

mike jones on September 27, 2007:

I wear panties , pantyhose , nighties . i am married . i only like women . I am 1 of millions of guys who do this . women are afraid of it . my wife dont like it either i wish she did , it has hurt our relationship

john on September 27, 2007:

I wear panties every chance i get i love women and only women i cant stop wearing pretty panties , current girl friend hates it

ed on September 14, 2007:

i wear panties all the time. my wife even helps me pick them out

Related Articles