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How to Look Sexy Without Looking Cheap

Natasha Pelati has published three books of poetry and writes on real-life experiences with the help of psychology.

What to wear to look sexy

Sex appeal is easy to achieve if you know what to wear and when to wear it. There is no point in dressing up in a hot lacy number if you are going to the movies!

Dressing up and dressing down to suit the occasion is a must and you need to establish what to wear to grab the right attention.

Everyone needs to have the essentials or "hot" numbers in their wardrobes for an emergency event.

The little black number is a must and it has to be something that does not date, that looks simple, elegant and sexy.

It can be short but not too short; just above the knee is safe and looks hot. Anything shorter has to be carefully worn and could look cheap if you wear it with the wrong shoes and accessories.

A great black number to have is something sleeveless, just above the knee and one that accentuates your assets. If you have a tiny waist, then find a dress that accentuates your waist.

The red hot dress: is a great colour to grab attention and it should also be simple and elegant. Get one that accentuates assets and avoid having too much detail on it in order to wear accessories too.

Pure white: This is a good colour to wear during the day and it looks fantastic with a tan. You can also dress it up with accessories, shoes and a bag but keep it simple and elegant.

If you love the outdoors and you want to wear shorts, then you can as shorts look fantastic and sexy if you wear it correctly. Avoid extremely high heels and tank tops and instead wear corks and a nice silky or crochet top.

Shorts can be as short as you want them to be but to avoid looking cheap, don't let anything stick out as leaving something to the imagination is more effective.

Holy shorts are things of the past! The denims are fantastic without the tears and holes that show more than the rest of the world would like to see and by keeping it in, will be more seductive.

Denim jeans look great and can be sexy if you wear the correct pair. Never wear baggy jeans, bell - bottoms, and find ones that accentuate your assets. If you have a great behind then get a pair that shows it off.

Tops to wear with jeans can be fitting tank tops but sexy is a white cotton shirt with a few buttons undone, a belt that will match your shoes and to make it extra sexy, a necklace that focuses on your collarbone.

Dresses need to be carefully planned as they could either look frumpy, cheap or old fashioned and you need to be extra careful when selecting one.

When selecting a dress think of colours that are good for your complexion. Don't get yellow if you don't wear it well. If you have a great tan then lucky you! you can choose almost any of the bright colours and look great in them.

Dresses that accentuate one area are a good idea as too many open spaces could end up looking like you are trying desperately to get attention.

If it has an open back then accentuate that part, if it has a low neckline, accentuate that but avoid trying to accentuate both areas.

Colours to avoid: Mustard and grey are not attractive colours and should not be considered as sexy.

Lace is sexy and it is coming back in a big way and it can transform a woman into a sultry seductress.

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Lace dresses are fantastic in any colour but you also have to be careful that you do not show too much skin. Extremely sexy lace is an outfit that has nude underneath.

Silk is also sexy and wearing a soft silk top with a pair of jeans can be sexy.

Suede is sexy and a jacket or skirt in suede can seduce if worn in the right way.

Leather is also sexy but you have to avoid overdoing it as it could end up looking like you work the streets or you are the leader in a bikers gang.

Sexy leather is a nice pair of fitting pants worn with a silk top and a nice heel.

Keep it black, white or red and avoid other leather colours.

Spandex is for the gym and do not wear that anywhere else!

Tight fitting spandex dresses have to be carefully worn to avoid it looking a little cheap and this can be done by keeping it simple. Flaunt the assets and focus on the dress rather than the shoes and accessories. The dress on its own is sexy enough!

Wool and materials that you enjoy wearing to keep warm are great but they are not sexy and if you want a guy to touch and cuddle then cashmere can be sexy in pastel colours.

Underwear has to match to be sexy! There is no way of getting around that because wearing a pink bra with a yellow pair of undies just doesn't say sexy at all.

Find a lace bra with a matching pair of panties that fit you correctly.

Satin, lace and cotton can be sexy if you avoid wearing the "granny" pants. Keep those for...get rid of those!!!

You want underwear that says play with me, not run and hide!

Lace is sexy when it is not overdone. Source:Maykool website

Lace is sexy when it is not overdone. Source:Maykool website

A kink in your hair can be sexy but don't overdo it

A kink in your hair can be sexy but don't overdo it

Sexy Hair

Hair can be sexy but there is nothing worse than the "wet and wild" look that leaves his hands filled with gels and oils. Wet and wild hair should look that way but not dripping wet, that is not sexy.

For the wet look, you need to wash your hair and then dry it with a towel. Once you have dried it off, get some silicone serum and rub a little of that in.

Don't overdo the gel, serum or hairspray because that will just make your hair look oily, dirty and unsexy!

A wave or kink in your hair is also sexy and it can give you that "just got out of bed" hair that can look super sexy with jeans, shorts and casual wear.

Hair that is not sexy is multi coloured hair that looks as if a you fell into a bucket of paint!

Keep your hair one colour or two toned but avoid weird and strange colours unless that is your thing.

Sexy hair is clean and healthy hair. If you are over 20 then avoid side ponytales or anything you did in school and keep your styling fresh, fun and youthful by following tips from the latest fashion trend magazines. Stick with what is comfortable for you and do not try to be something that you are not.

Sexy hair and makeup with a lace top.  Don't forget the eye contact Source: Natasha Model: Angelica

Sexy hair and makeup with a lace top. Don't forget the eye contact Source: Natasha Model: Angelica

Sexy Makeup

Reds, pinks and lip gloss is sexy!!!

When doing your makeup avoid putting too much on as you do not want to appear as something that is too far from who you really are.

Liquid eyeliners are sexy as they accentuate your eyes and this is great for the nighttime wardrobe.

Lashes can be sexy if they look naturally long and girlie so avoid wearing false lashes that look like you are a showgirl.

Eye shadow is sexy especially when you can master the smokey look as this looks sultry and makes you look mysterious.

Lipstick is a great win for sex appeal and if you do not have thick Angelina Jolie lips do not try to paste them on with a lip liner as you will end up looking a little overdone. Take a liner and lightly draw it onto the edges of your actual lips and to make them fuller use a lip gloss.

Ensure that the lip gloss is also not spread too thick to avoid it running along your mouth. This will look like drool which will give the wrong impression.

It also helps to avoid colours that do not suit you and if you thought black was a good idea, then think again because that is not a sexy lip colour.

Keep it natural with a gloss or add pastel colours that suit you. Red is a colour that you cannot go wrong with and this always looks sexy.

Blush can be sexy if you accentuate your cheek bones but it looks overdone and cheap if you put too much on in the wrong areas.

Avoid pink blush if you are wearing red lipstick and avoid dark shimmer if you are out in the day.

Blush should just look like you are fresh and naturally rosy without it looking clownish.

With makeup remember that less is sometimes more and if you accentuate the eyes then keep the lips simple.

Accentuate one thing at a time and it could be lips today and eyes tomorrow.

Glitter shadow should be used in dark places like nightclubs and dances, not in restaurants or at friends.

Know when to put your makeup on and where to wear the correct types.

Sexy is a state of mind and remember this when you are dressing and putting on your makeup.

Sexy shoes

Shoes can dress up an outfit or destroy your look completely. Choose correctly when dressing and do not wear stiletto heels with a pair of shorts, that is cheap not sexy.

A mini or ultra short dress can be worn with heels but you need to wear corks or heels that are simple as the dress is already the emphasis. Don't ruin it with the shoes!

Beaded or jewelled shoes have their place as does runners and slops.

Slops are never sexy and if you are going to the beach then get yourself a pretty pair with bedazzle on it or a sassy colour or design to make you look original.

Work pumps should stay in the cupboard for work only.

Runners and sneakers should be used for gym only.

Knee high boots are great with a loose fitting mini dress but not with jeans.

Boots also have their place and wearing ankle high boots that are made for jeans are not sexy with a figure hugging dress, even if you are trying to make a statement.

It also helps to avoid wearing extremely high heels if your date is short so to avoid any complex issues, keep to a medium size heel to be safe.

Accessories can make or break an outfit Source: Natasha Model: Angelica Photographer: Frost creations

Accessories can make or break an outfit Source: Natasha Model: Angelica Photographer: Frost creations

Sexy accessories

Think of accessories to accentuate you and do not wear chunky accessories unless your outfit requires them.

A low back dress or low neckline dress is great for accessories that will bring the eye to focus on your assets and when selecting a necklace, choose one that will accentuate your collarbone or cleavage.

Ankle bracelets are cool for the beach but they are no longer sexy and you should avoid wearing those unless they make a comeback.

Earrings are a great way to accentuate your cheeks and eyes. Find colours that will accentuate your outfit as well as your face. Do not wear chunky earrings if your outfit is busy and avoid neon colours if you are going on a date. Leave those for shopping and visiting friends.

Sexy is sparkle and use accessories to accentuate not take away focus.

Hand bags are fantastic but they must be elegant and trendy or else stick with the classics to avoid looking like a bag lady.

Ensure that your colours blend in with the outfit and make sure that your bag is clean and looks new as it is not sexy to have a broken and old, dirty bag.

Top shoe designersTop Clothing designersMakeup musts

Jimmy Choo



Manolo Blahnik


Estee Lauder

Christian Louboutin



How to look sexy

Sexy is a state of mind!

Be confident and feel good

Makeup, hair and outfits done in the correct way can make you look sexy.

Don't always follow fashion trends but keep up with the times

Lip gloss is sexy

Liquid eyeliner is sexy

How to appear sexy

Sexy is a state of mind and in order to look sexy you need to feel sexy! Before you go out take a look in the mirror and let yourself know just how sexy you are.

Be confident and when you walk into a room take a look around and acknowledge that everyone is looking at you, so strut your stuff.

Stand up straight and do not slouch, without looking uncomfortable.

When you walk do not overdo the strut as you will not look sexy it will just appear show offish.

Smile and the whole world smiles with you! Don't grin and walk around like a Cheshire cat but make sure that you smile and look as if the world is at your feet.

Don't fidget and fiddle with your hair, dress or anything. Keep your hands comfortable and in order to look sexy, you need to look comfortable. Pulling down your dress or lifting your skirt does not give off a sexy vibe.

If you do not feel comfortable walking in heels or wearing a short skirt, then try something else to make you look sexy and feel confident.

If a guy looks at you give him a glance but not a glare. Do not gawk at him and when you do look at him think of your eyes hypnotising him and remember sparkle.

Sexy is a state of mind, you need to feel it in order to be it. Models: Angelica, Amy Source: Natasha

Sexy is a state of mind, you need to feel it in order to be it. Models: Angelica, Amy Source: Natasha


Natasha Pelati (author) from South Africa on April 10, 2014:

Thank you!

Rosina de vico on April 10, 2014:

Great one....loved helpful and interesting!

Natasha Pelati (author) from South Africa on April 08, 2014:

haha thank you!

GreenPrince on April 07, 2014:

Nice one...i love the video so much.

Natasha Pelati (author) from South Africa on April 06, 2014:

Thank you!

Bolanle Akanji from Lagos, Nigeria on April 04, 2014:

Great article. very informative and fun to read.

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