This one is for the ladies, especially those ones who have found themselves with a man who wears lingerie, but who didn't really plan things going that way. As I have said in other articles, the first time I found out about a man I was with wearing lingerie I hadn't even thought about it before, it was well and truly completely off my radar.
Over time I came to quite enjoy it though, and I think that if a woman is prepared to accept the man she's with for who he is, and not try to make him into her fantasy male stereotype, then there is a good chance that she can actually enjoy her boyfriend or husband wearing lingerie too.
Certainly wearing lingerie didn't change anything with the first man in lingerie I was with, he didn't start wearing dresses, or start chasing men at work. He was one of the most heterosexual men I have known, but he deeply enjoyed wearing women's lingerie, and out of a desire not to try to stifle the living heck out of the guy, I was more than happy for him to wear lingerie as much and as often as he wanted.
You may not feel the same way of course, and its fine if you don't. But if you do want to give the guy and his panties a chance, why not check out these ways that you can have fun with him wearing lingerie as well.
Public Lingerie Fun
Men who wear lingerie, especially the ones who do so because of the taboo, the thrill seeking men in lingerie, love wearing lingerie in public. For many of them it is a huge thrill to go out in a bra, knowing that there is a possibility that at some point the shirt might pull tight over their back and somebody might realize that they are wearing a bra.
Others like to get a little more risky with it, perhaps wearing a camisole under a shirt with the top button or two undone, not enough to give the world a show, but enough to peek out from under the corners of the shirt and make a few people do a double take.
This is something you can enjoy with your guy too, especially if you're comfortable with it. It's a huge amount of fun to see other people's facial expressions when they notice or suspect that something is awry.
Slip n Slide
If he's not wearing camisoles yet, get him some. Seriously. A camisole is a great gift for you both because it turns his torso into a smooth slippery surface that is sensual and fun as well. You might be surprised at how good it feels under your fingertips, and you might even learn a little something about why some men like women in silky lingerie.
Play Dress Ups
Just because you're a grown up, it doesn't mean that you can't play dress ups. Women love to dress their men, just look at any men's clothing store on any weekend and you'll see that half or more of the customers in there are actually women, sometimes trailing a guy, sometimes not. There's no reason why you should limit your desire to dress to his outer wear, have fun setting out lingerie combinations for him to wear. He's likely to really enjoy you taking an active interest.
A Final Word...
Finally, just a note for women who are with men who like to wear lingerie. These ideas might seem silly, or even superfluous. What difference does it make whether you acknowledge his lingerie or not? To you perhaps not a lot, but to him, it may mean the world. Many men who like to wear lingerie struggle with it for years, sometimes feeling ashamed and embarrassed, and quite often feeling scared that they won't be accepted or loved by a woman because of it. Showing him that you accept that part of him can be a huge weight off his shoulders, and you may find that other areas of your relationship improve because of it. Nobody likes keeping secrets from their partner, or hiding parts of themselves. Even if him wearing lingerie might seem strange or weird to start off with, at the end of the day, they're just little scraps of material. That's it. They don't change who he is as a person, or as a man.
Feel free to comment, just for the love of all that is good, please keep it clean and G rated, otherwise I have to delete your comments, and I hate doing that.
Rick on March 23, 2020:
Both of you dress up, and go out for a girls day out. Go and have make overs, girl shoping and something to eat. When you get home have a nice intiment loving night.
anon on January 26, 2019:
The article actually talks about ideas what to do rather than how to have fun doing it... While often the problem may rather be that a woman feels like she's just not into it or it's not fun for her, and feeling like forcing herself to do it just to please him won't help either.
I think the key helpful paragraph is this:
"Over time I came to quite enjoy it though, and I think that if a woman is prepared to accept the man she's with for who he is, and not try to make him into her fantasy male stereotype, then there is a good chance that she can actually enjoy her boyfriend or husband wearing lingerie too." - Reflection can help turning a feeling of obligation into a voluntary own decision.
I would add:
Be Mindful about it - what do you feel, what may be an aspect about it you might like? The aesthetics? have him parade for you, make a sexy photoshoot. The excitment of the taboo? Have him wear lingerie in public for you. A little power exchange? You decide what he wears, maybe something maximally embarrassing or uncomfortable, just a bit 'too much' for his comfort.
Other ways to ecounter the fun may be:
- Make it a game - decidedly remind yourself that you don't HAVE to do any of this if you don't want to - but trying these things COULD turn out to be fun.
- Be careful of blocking thoughts - social or religious norms and fears from childhood and society. Getting informed, e.g. here on these pages can help to make yourself free of those. Reminding yourself that you too, sometimes may enjoy wearing jeans instead of skirts, so why shouldn't he, and how 50-100 years ago some 'male' things for women were utterly unthinkable as well. Remind yourself that, were he gay, he would probably would have told you that (or you would have found gay porn, not panties).
- Suggest him to wear panties - and then do something that pleases you, repeatedly - that way you give yourself the chance to associate his panties with your pleasure. Have him perform oral could be a great way to appreciate the sight while enjoying, but if you struggle with his 'femininity', another position you enjoy and where he feels otherwise more 'manly' to you might be easier to enjoy for you at first. But it could even be cleaning the house or some other home chore - he might like it more doing it in panties, and you like it being done.
- Connect to your 'manly/active/dominant' side - If you feel vulnerable and dependent on your man, it might feel 'unsafe' to see him 'weak and girly'. Do something empowering, that makes you feel more self-confident, be it sports, art, etc. If you come home from work exhausted and don't have energy to be 'the energetic one' (it can be exhausting to be a man, trying to put yourself into his position like this can actually highten your empathy if you are mindful to the feelings), Tease him/make him put on panties on a friday, make him wear them til Saturday, then play with him or give him and his sexy outfit the attention he will most likely love to receive.
- Don't force yourself to do anything, just explore and work on the conditions that may prevent it from making it fun for me. That would be my advice.
- Be mindful of his reaction when you initiate him to wear or play in panties - most likely his eyes will sparkle, he may be extra obedient or attentive. let him know what you like, also, maybe something you've been holding back? so you don't feel used in an imbalance. "The 5 love languages" may be a good thing to talk about (and understand his "physical touch" aspect in panties, potentially), while positively motivating and understanding that you might like other things (gifts, acts of service, words of appreciation) more.
John on September 15, 2017:
How about those women who still wear their little girl thin cotton panties from their child hood (fetish) condemng men for their choice of nylon?
Voyeurmythongs on March 14, 2016:
Not a daily lingerie person but i do love the looking around knowing none of the gorgeous women i am amongst throughout my day kno ive got something cute on too.. Love having the power to wear a g-string this morning and swap out to a cheeky thong cut pantie after the gym and a shower and get to go home to a super sexy lingerie loving woman that has found the extra excitement she can control by just laying her panties and a specific pair shes picked just for her and a pair shes chosen JUST FOR ME.. Love having a spouse thats open to wearing lingerie out of the same drawer as she chooses my panties also.. She and i have been together ten and a half years and have been very involved for atleast 9 or more years in our panties collection and over all panties playyyy.. Realllllly love it when she meets me at the gym or where we run hiking trails wearing something sexy and cums up to whisper lets TRADE THONGS BABY! I WANT TO SEE THESE ON U NOWWW! knowing we are in public and knowing we are going to slide one pair off and then slide the warm wett panties she just had on up my legs and into the crease of my legs i feel her perfect Vagina shape still into the panties as i pull them up to waste high.. I always pull hers up for her. Being she alwAys wants to watch me put hers on FIRST.. And then as i pull the thong i was wearing up her long legs i see this woman whos sexy and bright and she like ME, is turned on more from the sight of me wearing what panties she picks or buys for me and my favorite as i said when she intentionally put one pair on the bed for me and one for her and knew all day she was going to meet me and make me trade her panties in a slow to do let me watch kinda fashion.. I love her and i love wearing panties.. Not a 24-7 pantie guy but i would be if she ever asked me to pitch out my boxers id pitch them and start a daily panties drawer of my own to choose for her and her choose out of her drawer for me something sexy to wear for her...
Kathleen D. on February 07, 2016:
I have had several boyfriends take me on trips in the winters because I live in a cold area (Davenport,IA.) I always require that they wear panties for me and none of them has ever argued. My current boyfriend will wear a bra and panties for me, as long as they don't show under his guy clothes. It's always fun to have our little secret when we go out. We both get aroused knowing that he is wearing something special just for me. I once got a boyfriend to wear panties, a waist cincher, stockings , and an underwired bra with large breast forms under his shirt and coat when we went to a movie. It was awesome knowing he was trussed up for me and on edge about it while we watched the movie! I once lived with a guy that would always wear whatever I wanted around the house.
mark on September 05, 2015:
I''ve doing it for a number ofyears with my wife. She was shocked to find out that most of girl friends husbands di it all they time. The girls said when they did that the getting the best of both worlds, I still only counts what inside the panties any way. Playing like that is fiu and bringd all parties tiogether
Dawn on March 07, 2010:
I recently caught my husband wearing bras and panties. Which was a huge relief to me because I thought he was cheating after i found a set in his car. He was thrilled that I accepted it, Really, I couldn't care less, all I ask of him is to be honest with me and not hide anything in our lives from each other. Since his "confession" he's even bought a set of those fake boobs for chicks and he wears them once in a while too. I support and love him no matter what, I was just glad to finally know the truth. Glad to see I'm not alone in the world of husband's wearing cuter bras and panties than me..lol
Cory Smith on December 10, 2009:
Another thing that is fun for men who enjoy wearing lingerie with their mate is sharing lingerie. One of the most exciting things about having your girlfriend open to you wearing lingerie is grabbing your under things from the same drawer.
It is extremely thrilling knowing I am wearing to bed what she did only a few days before.
Patrick on March 30, 2009:
Hi Thanks for writing this. I have been wearing panties on and off for 50 years and used to hide it, I would suppress the desire and feel guilty about that part of me. when I was 50 I decided that I must deal with all my fears and explained to my wife that I did not want to suppress that part of me any more. She was fine with it and I now wear panties 24 / 7. My wife buys panties for me but I also buy my own and have no problem with it. I am much happier than before. I don't know or care why I love wearing panties but I do. My wife would be concerned if other people got to know that I wear panties, but I really am not that bothered if others were to find out. I accept me and that means all of me. I am a loving and caring heterosexual man with no gay desires. My loving wife and soul mate accepts me as I am and I am so grateful to her. Why did it take me so long accept myself when she did it in a few minutes! I feel that a sizable percentage of males wear panties regularly or at least have worn them at some time. If it feels good and does not hurt anyone why not do it and enjoy it. Lets bring it more out in the open, but hopefully in a way that does not make other people uncomfortable. If a man in panties gives people a smile or a giggle that is fine by me. Patrick
threesweds on October 22, 2008:
I love to wear lingerie and let it show just a little, be it bra straps or lace from the panties. I really enjoy the remarks and giggles from women. Sometimes I'll wear print panties under thin white womens slacks, just to get reactions.
charlie on October 15, 2008:
I love to wear girgles of all kinds .my wife dosnt like it but i do. she dosnt say much until i leave them laying around for her to see.she knows i have them.
lingerielover on October 03, 2008:
I can understand what likewhatiam wrote. I wear lingerie as well as shapewear every day under my mens clothes. And I love the thrill wearing a bra. Covered with a dark or coloured shirt it is fun to show some projection. At first I was afraid very much. Now I enjoy the irritated stare you sometimes get from a woman.
likewhatiam on September 27, 2008:
I love my panties and wear them everyday, I don't posess any mens underwear even wear them to the doctor.I dress fully female under my mens clothes and people don't notice because they are not expecting a man to be wearing lingerie.Just love it and don't think I can ever go back to wearing mens boring tighty whities.keep up the great hub.
nylon panties on September 21, 2008:
I wear panties 24/7. I ride a motorcycle and quite often while waiting for the light to change, gals will pull up and start to tell me how much they like the bike. While sitting there talking with them, I some times think, " I am probably wearing panties sexier than they are wearing themselve's. I wonder what they would think of me if they knew that?"Fortunately, I seldom ever give it any thought because I have been wearing them for so many years.
Nanciboy on July 10, 2008:
Oh my, I so like to wear a nice cami with lace at the neckline under a shirt with a button or two undone. Of course, mine are women's shirts with the buttons on the 'wrong' side. :)
EDWARD SCHAP on June 14, 2008:
I WEAR PANTIES EVERY DAY AND WIFE REALLY DOSENT L;IKE IT BUT KNOW I DO
gary on June 12, 2008:
Fortunately I have a lady that helps me out with the femine things to do and wear...We have loads of fun with the idea...and she becomes very dominant when I do wear panties and such...not in a mean way but in a very direct way...and when she dresses me up she also dresses up and that's a big wow for me...it all makes me smile anyway ...have fun and relax ladies...you might get the caressing you like...
mtaathw on June 09, 2008:
spot on ! My wife left me not that long ago because of my love for waring bras and pantys. If I had this a few years ago it might not have happened
Gregorythompson from Illinois on June 05, 2008:
Interesting :) I still like my girlfriend wearing all the lingerie though.
Dave on June 05, 2008:
You are truly the best! Thank you for writing this. I'm going to keep this article for future use with any woman I may become intimately involved with. You hit the nail on the head. If a woman would accept me for me and have some fun with it, there wouldn't be anything I wouldn't do for her!