Updated date:

High Heel Shoes & The Women (and Men) Who Love Them

Pretty woman, walking down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet
Pretty woman
I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could look as good as you

Just for sheer speculatory purposes...what do you think that woman was wearing on her feet? Do you think she was wearing a pair of Converse Allstars? How about a pair of overpriced Rainbow flipflops? Plug ugly Birkenstocks? Ballet flats? Dr. Scholl's? Neon green Crocs?

BEEEEP! Time's up! Ten to one, that woman was wearing a pair of sky scraping, eye popping, bring a man to his knees pair of high heels, at least three inchers I'm guessing, maybe more.


They're Only Shoes, Right?

As a woman who shot up to 5'9" tall by the time I was 13, I can tell you I spent a lot of my high school years slumping. The closest I got to wearing high heels was the buffalo sandal fad that swept through my high school. Those weren't really high heels, though, not in the true sense of the word.

I didn't really discover high heels until my 5'8'''' college boyfriend told me he adored tall, blonde women and I should wear heels as often as possible. You look like a model in them, he said. Well, heck, bring on the freakin' high heels then! And he did, he bought me lovely macrame 5 inch heels that laced around the ankle, chocolate brown suede pumps with 4 inch heels, black satin Candies with a very sexy ankle strap. Ahhh...the fun I had in those shoes!

Bringing Sexy Back?

A lot of people credit the show "Sex & The City" for bringing back the high heel...bringing it back?? When did it ever leave? Oh sure, those snooty chicks in their expensive Jimmy Choo's didn't hurt the high heel industry by any means, but just the same, the high heel has never left. A little history if you will...

Not so shockingly, those trend-setting Egyptians were credited with wearing the first known high heels in 3500 B.C. I'd put money on it being Cleopatra, that was one stylin' babe. She was also way ahead of her time with the kohl she used to line her eyes and those sheer dresses she hung around the pyramid in...the forebearer of the see-through blouse. Those sexy high heels made her "Walk Like An Egyptian" so much better, don't you think? Or at least Caesar thought so.

Shoes For The Idle Rich

Throughout history, high heels have been associated with the upper class. Where do you think the term "well heeled" came from? However, high heels have also been associated with folks a little less well heeled. As early as Roman times, prostitutes wore high heels as their calling card. Had to do something to liven up that toga dress, I guess. Evidently Rome was the Vegas of early civilization, since prostitution was legal.

I Wanna Put On My, My, My Boogie Shoes (and boogie with you)

But why would high heels be linked with prostitution? Well, duh, have you ever seen a woman, that is one who's capable of actually walking properly in a pair of high heels, striding down the street, confident, hair blowing in the breeze. Notice her steps, her stride is shorter, her tummy is tucked in, her legs look longer and leaner, her rear end is higher and juts out because of the angle in which her body is thrown by the high heels. Can any man alive, correction, any straight man alive, not look at a woman in a pair of heels and not instantly think of sex? Hey, don't be ashamed, it's part of your DNA, we get that. And don't blame us as women if we take full advantage of that knowledge.

A Little Rain Must Fall

Like everything wonderful in life, there's always a drawback. With high heels, it's foot pain and back pain. Orthopedists and podiatrists preach the evils of high heels, but I'll bet the males in these two professions heads swivel whenever a woman in heels walks by just like the rest of the male population's. Those grumpy old fun spoilers say heels can lead to bunions, falls, knee problems, and ...gasp...the dreaded hammertoe.

I say, what happens, happens. If I want to break my hip in my old age, let me do it in a fabulous pair of Guccis or Fendis. I hear they don't put shoes on people when they dress them for burial. I guess they figure where you're walking, you won't need shoes. I'm gonna leave strict instructions that I'm buried with shoes on, pedicure intact.

And make sure to bury me with those peep toes facing up. I feel closer to heaven that way.


Angela Brummer from Lincoln, Nebraska on May 26, 2012:

Great point!!!! :) LOL

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on May 26, 2012:

I totally agree, Angela, but just think, they aren't fattening, won't toast your liver or brain and aren't illegal. So I'd say if you have to have a vice, let it be shoes!

Angela Brummer from Lincoln, Nebraska on May 26, 2012:

I love the heels and the cowboy boots! Expensive fedishes!

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on November 12, 2011:

Wol, I breathlessly await your next attempt to become persona non grata on hp!

writeronline on November 12, 2011:

Maybe that true story (whaddya mean 'joke'?) hasn't yet been seen by the censors..feel free to delete it, DIY. Unfortunately, I can't tell you any true stories about short dumpy blondes; not that I don't know any, just don't know any that would pass the censor sweep...

Keep an eye out for my next Hub, I'm planning on 'testing the boundaries' just a little, all in the interests of raising a smile. :) it might end up a case of a 'short life, but a happy one'

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on November 12, 2011:

Cathylynn, podiatrists would agree with you! WOL, ummm, WOL, can't believe that joke made it past the censors! As a member of the much maligned tall, leggy blonde contingency, I would have to protest over the airhead tag. Now, those short dumpy blondes, now those are the ones who aren't too sharp... they could seriously benefit from a pair of heels!

writeronline on November 11, 2011:

Now DIY, you know how seldom I'm stuck for words, but I think Ken's done it! I, obviously wrongly, thought you meant men loving looking at women wearing ultra high heels...

However, in the time honoured tradition of "if you don't know what to say, talk about something else", I offer the following, as evidence that the effect of ultra-high heels on tall leggy blondes (am I ringing any bells, DIY? lol), is actually what gave rise to the term 'airhead'. It's simply oxygen deprivation, caused by altitude, but its effects on cognitive function can be devastating. As an example:

Two tall, leggy blondes in sky high heels were riding an elevator when it stopped and this really great looking guy got on, looking trim and smart in a crisp white shirt and dark business suit.

As he hit the button for the next floor, he turned back to face the two blondes, and just stood, admiring the scenery. When the elevator reached his floor and the door opened behind him, he smiled at the blondes, turned and went out the door. Unfortunately, the moment was spoiled when the blondes noticed a large number of dandruff flakes down his back, at which the first blonde said, "Eewweue!"

The second blonde said," That's OK. If I can get him home, I'll give him Head & Shoulders."

The first blonde asked, "How do you give Shoulders?"

Sorry DIY. Really.

cathylynn99 from northeastern US on November 11, 2011:

oh, yeah, high heels also cause sprained and broken ankles. how sexy is a cast? i have one pair of high heels. i wear them in the bedroom, where they belong. otherwise, give me sensible flats. there are lots of cute flats. i attracted my husband in flats.

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on November 11, 2011:

Well, hey, I did say the women AND men who love them!

ken on November 11, 2011:

i love wearing five inch heel as they make my legs look great the longest i have worn them is 10 hours and yes they do meke your legs hurt when i go back to male shoes but i love the feel they give me and the look. sorry if this causes anyone problems but i am just happy wearing high heeled shoes.

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on August 08, 2011:

Thanks, Charlotte! I realize my shoe habit is getting out in control since the shoe organizers have taken over my closet, but can't seem to stop myself. Maybe one day after I fall off my high heels, I'll break the habit.

Charlotte B Plum on August 08, 2011:

really enjoyed this! and I love the video that you added. you have such a lovely sense of humor too! =)

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on March 07, 2011:

Rachel, so you're the one who's been stealing all the tall men!

rachelsholiday on March 07, 2011:

I wish I could stand to wear high heels. They just kill me feet =(. I wear them once in a while when I got on dates with my husband. I'm 5'4" and he's 6'3", so I can wear some pretty fab shoes for our 2 hour dinner date =).

Denise Handlon from North Carolina on February 10, 2011:

LOL Funny!

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on February 09, 2011:

Denise, I would kill to be 5'2"! Then I could wear SIX inch heels!

DIYweddingplanner (author) from South Carolina, USA on February 09, 2011:

I totally agree!

Tess on February 08, 2011:

Another create article. As I always say, if it can't be done in high heels, it ain't worth doin'.

Denise Handlon from North Carolina on February 08, 2011:

excellent hub. funny, fun and factual. LOL I'm only 5'2" :)