Philip Agutu is a born-again Christian, a loving husband, and a father of three. He is a devoted Writer and Researcher on various topics.
The Confusion in Young Christian Couples.
Sex is a gift created by God for the sole purpose of leisure and procreation to mankind. Just like all of God’s gifts to man, sex is holy and when done within marriage, God is honored. In other words, when we use our God-given gifts in a holy manner, we respect God.
Most Christian believers know that sex outside marriage is either fornication or adultery, but very few know the truth about sex positions and their implications in a Christian marriage.
The majority of Christian couples disagree on various sex positions and due to the fear of approaching a pastor or senior couple for counseling, most don’t enjoy sex the way God intended them to in their marriage.
This leads to broken marriages due to sexual repression, lack of intimacy, bad counseling from unchristian sources, suspicions, adultery, among others.
Sex in Marriage is a Very Sensitive Topic.
The first thing that comes to mind as an acceptable sex position for the Christian couple is the missionary sex position where the man is on top and both are facing one another. I believe it is called missionary sex position after the old missionaries who evangelized the word of Christ to the outer parts of the world.
These missionaries counseled the newly converted Christians that the best sex position that definitely will fulfill the two purposes of sex as intended by God was the face-to-face with the man on top. In my opinion, the man being on top portrays him as the head in the house and the woman as being submissive.
The man was created first and the woman came from the man’s rib (Genesis 2:18); no wonder man has to be the head of a family in Christian marriage as in the following Bible verses:
What the Bible Says About Marriage
- Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in EVERYTHING.”
- Colossians 3:18, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as is fit in the Lord.”
- Genesis 3:16, “Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow, thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall RULE OVER THEE.”
Other many verses in the Bible portray the man as the head in a Christian marriage and definitely, the missionaries saw that “man being on top” is the best sex position as it honors the above verses.
Are Different Sex Positions Sinful?
However, the Bible has not been direct concerning the best sex position to be applied in a marriage setting. Several situations may call for the need to try a different position such as the inability of the couples to engage in missionary sex position due to;
- Full-grown pregnancy
- Some disability of one of the couple
- Health factors such as the man having a big tummy
- Other reasons like heating things in the bedroom
There are very many different sex positions out there and new ones are being invented every day. This might leave young newly married couples confused as to which one honors God. In this article, I try to voice my opinion with the following Bible verses as my reference point;
1. The Best Sex Position is One That Honors the Wife.
1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Form the above scriptural verse, apart from sex in marriage to honor God, it should also portray honor to the married couples as well. In the example of a Christian marriage where the woman has to be submissive, the husband should not insist on a sex position that will humiliate his wife in any way.
Humiliation may be in the form of sex positions that are painful, inhuman in nature, or brings guilt after the act. It is evident in the Bible that when one does what is unholy or against the Holy Spirit, guilt will take over. When this occurs, one may prefer the missionary sex position that results in a lot of love, satisfaction, and happiness after the act.
The married couples should therefore agree on the best sex position that has a sense of morality, honors God, and also honors the wife as the weaker vessel.
2. The Best Sex Position Portrays the Submissiveness of the Wife to the Husband.
Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.”
There are some sex positions where the woman is on top of the man and in control of the whole act. It is important to note that the devil always insists on mankind to be against the will of God and this sex position may directly result in dishonoring God.
Although some situations may call for that sex position, for instance, sickness or disability of the man, the woman should still be submissive to the husband in the act. A woman who is already submissive to the husband in all family matters will not find it hard to let the man be in control despite his disability.
This will in turn honor God and their marriage as the man will still feel he was responsible for his wife’s satisfaction. From experience as a married man, I believe every man wants to be responsible for his wife’s sexual satisfaction.
3. The Best Sex Position Reflects Love and Not Lust.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”
Sex position may be determined by various factors such as personal health and moral sense of judgment. It is important to be careful when deciding the best sex position as a couple. Apart from it honoring God and the married couples, it should reflect love and not lust. I believe the position will come out naturally depending on the current situation that calls for the position change.
It is sinful and immoral for Christian couples to watch the types of different sex positions from pornographic materials and try to imitate them in their sex life. Most sex positions are as a result of lust and not love as some of them encourage anal sex which is against the will of God in a Christian marriage.
Four Best Sex Positions for a Christian Marriage.
- Missionary: as explained earlier on, this is the most standard sex position practiced in marriage. It is respectful and involves the man being on top and both facing each other.
- Doubled up missionary: this is the missionary taken a little notch higher. In this position, the woman pulls her legs back to her chest.
- Spooning-bliss: this involves both couples lying on their sides on a bed with the man penetrating from behind. This can be useful when the woman is pregnant.
- Woman on top: this involves the woman being on top and doing most of the work. The man just lies down or pumps up once in a while. Mostly useful when the man is unable to be on top due to illness or disability.
- Lap-cross woman on top: the woman is on top but this time both are much closer and can kiss. It is a little warmer and intimate.
The best sex position for both Christians and non-Christian couples should be the one that they both agree on and should also honor God and their marriage life.
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This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2021 Philip Agutu