Our life stages are unique, Kathy enjoys sharing her thoughts and stages through her writing and looks forward to learning about yours.
Tit for Tat, It Goes On and On...
Why is life reduced to a silly game of tit for tat? How pathetic that we as individuals have built up walls to a false reality? Sadly, we are surrendering to separation while filling our heads with a profound understanding of our surroundings.
As we attempt to fake our way through the distortion of differences, it makes little sense, denying the situation's truth. Be that as it may, are we conditioned to want a better outcome? After all, deep down, doesn’t everyone want a “Wonderful Life”?
Indeed, even in the darkest points, one would seek some sense of favorable resolution. However, in a world full of boasting expression, false substance, realism, and ego, all of which we embody too readily, we tend to gravitate to the negative.
Desperately we turn from the ethics and the estimations of truth as we develop a rationale for everything and anything. Admitting our flaws would better serve the situation, and then, we may recognize self-preservation creeps to the surface as we discard purposeful unity.
However, the noise or narcissistic reactions cause us to go adrift instead of rafting together. Understanding all that is in our environment takes considerable effort and attention. When rushed, there are often unclear perceptions. People get sloppy in their approach and fumble without the admission of needing clarification.
We must realize perspective skews when all sides of circumstance are not in clear view. A more selfless approach for the advancement of all is what is required, but the truth is, we fail.
Unbalance ensues with reactionary behavior, thus emphasizing points of conflict causing separation. With this, we lose all sense of unity, and the tit for tat becomes a game of hierarchal positioning.
Do we concentrate on the “me” approach, or are we slowing things down enough, watching the playback at a slower speed to help clarity? This option would improve our performance and allow purposeful solidarity! How unfortunate that we don’t take the time to practice our skills by reviewing the plays together.
The tit for tat banter emanates with flawed assaults. Everything comes into question, and the lines blur! The chat gets louder and overwhelms.
Are the people you gossip about “good people” or “are they not your problem”? Is he an anchor, or is she a ball and chain? Do we love a friend only until we give up on them? He said- she said, you said, we said, do any of us know the truth?
Life is not a Dr. Seuss book, and we need to get real! People want successful outcomes. A threatened response is frequently reactive, and what we witness is uncontrolled defensiveness.
Hurried once again, we forget to slow it down, practice the skills or review the plays while staying open to conviction, not wanting to control it.
Real conviction comes from spirit-driven communication and not from the flip of a coin. Ignorance or omission of a situation does not create a solution; instead, we must own our part of a conflict with healthy confrontation, discontinuing the tit for tat!
Are You Ever Up Against This?
How Sad That We Don't See The Big Picture
One breath wasted in a battle over the triviality of anger or bitterness is shameful, and still, we do it. What do we gain on either side of a position as opposed to coming to a resolute understanding? Is there a nagging twinge in the heart or at least in one’s gut when feeling misunderstood? Regardless of emotional points of connection, be they real or imagined, it’s imperative to see we may need to agree to disagree? In so doing, we accept that life is a series of necessary actions, an effect to cause. One person’s junk is another’s treasure, someone’s right is another’s wrong, and so it goes in the world, tit for tat.
But, one cannot deny the neutrality of any point; we are individuals allowed free will and choice during those times when we’re reliable and correct. To what do we attribute that correctness? What is our point based on emotional reaction, anger, ego, political view, prejudicial thought, or the false power of dignity at all cost? As opposed to - self-control, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, patience, or, at least, love? Is love not the purest form of said correctness?
How often does choice override one’s inner voice? Responses are failing in the loss of control, the rash judgment call, as opposed to little understanding. Aren’t we all victims when it comes to human conditioning? You may ask, what is that? This condition that overpowers our rational thought, well, let’s break it down; the unique features, first, we all desire a better understanding of the meaning of life. Who doesn’t want to be “in the know”? After all, being committed to our point of view allows for smokescreen-like protection, or does it? Possibly, the facade of life is one in which we clothe ourselves? Somehow believing our steadfast commitment to our point creates a non-permeable filter. Do we live amongst clouded misconstrued images? Are we so busy protecting self, that we lack connection? Which models are we to protect? The picture we let others see or the truth of what we live?
Oh no you didn't
Always Seeking Never Stopping Long Enough to Listen
The second feature of the human condition is that we seek gratification in many things, even though we attempt to deny the attraction to material possession. No matter our circumstances or place in life, we are aware of what is around us. We are pursuant of things we don’t have, coveting that beyond need, often adopting a rationale to make “wants” more of a necessity. Somehow we are convinced that to better one’s self is somehow based on externals. Self-worth becomes hidden in the entrapment of its coverings, such as material or unhealthy desires based on self-preservation. Once achieved or attained, we note that the right balance comes from internal gains, from truth, knowledge, grace, and guidance from a power far more significant than practical explanation.
We have an insatiable hunger a driven curiosity for life answers and lessons; how we direct these desires is where our problematic situation evolves. We rely on “Human Condition” with its existentially free-agent mentality. We realize the consequences, yet we are continually chasm of deceit and enticement, if not focused on actual spiritual growth and relationship.
The issue remains we often choose not to rely on the provision of A God's decision and rather succumb to self-preservation. Now, if this preservation is grace and surrender to God’s design, we would be safe in Christ. The truth is, we stray from our center with the allowance of choice.
We must accept this commonality in one another. Do we understand that external forceful pull applies to all of us? For every action, there is a reaction; for every position, there is an opposition. We can choose to remain in the chaos, the chaos of perfectionism, which in itself is a fallacy; for humans, none is perfect. Instead, we should seek to center in a relationship, and we know beyond doubt relationships are only made complete in Christ.
I said, she said, they said, we said...
Relationships are a Practice for Our True Relationship in Christ
Relationships are vital to us, yet we have given up on perfecting them with a Christ-centered approach. We would not walk away from Christ when things are severe, or do we?
How often will we let our anger or confusion misguide us to believe that we don’t need to stay in the commitment, perfecting one another for the best we can be as part of the whole body? No matter how difficult it may be for us to process, it remains that God never fails us or gives up. He is constant and stays the course through all our distractions and negative choices, and He'll never let go.
On the other hand, we are so quick to give in or give up on one another with our human condition. We tend to hurt the ones we love instead of enjoying the ones we’re with; God has placed people in our lives for a purpose. Even when in contention deep in our guts, they are the ones we love the most. We should work harder at loving as He loves.
God’s love for us is the way we want to love and be loved. His passion is rooted in the heart and gut, this truth is simple, and still, we deny others this approach to relationship. For when something is rooted and constant, we do not only tolerate it, because it sets forever, in our mind and soul. To deny it’s there is to deny self or pieces of your own heart, and yet still we do that, with our tit for tat, bickering, gossiping, and judging.
Once in a relationship, we begin to see the realness of those we are in a relationship with, making us look in a mirror sometimes more than we can handle. Seeing the flaws we need to work on, we tend to run away from the hurdle, not leaping what is awaiting us on the other side. Are we afraid of how close we can become when we remove the smokescreen and learn to move closer together in our imperfections? How lovely it is to grow from our roots to a fervent mature love with Christ! Accounting to the desire for a centered heart and relationship with Him and one another.
We all want the same things, to be loved and accepted for who we are. The one who does this unconditionally is our best example; God’s love is forever. He also gives us friends and family that allow us to practice what a Godly relationship is. He insists we never give up and continue to work hard at becoming more like His example, always seeking to be in community learning together.
We get caught up in practical situations, in the negative attention of negative, or dare I say evil thought, none of which is healthy. We get distracted and fear the loving accountability and nurturing that is given to us. We forget to remain focused on guidance and perfecting love, and we get stuck in the tit-for-tat mentality!
We can be better spouses, friends, children, and mentors; none of us is better than another or more critical to the purpose of the day at hand. Young, middle-aged, or old, you are of value; you have a great use when it’s for the glory of God. You may not even be sure of what it is, but I assure you, if you keep seeking His call, He will reveal your destiny. Nothing from this world compares to His plan for you, don’t let anyone or thing tell you otherwise. Don’t allow anything to discount or deny your importance to His purpose.
Your casing of flesh is irrelevant, worry not about it when it attacks; focus on the heart within, where He is alive in you. Know that these feelings are not coming from a loving God but rather the pull of ego or eccentricity. We need to stop listening to the noise of the world, being a part of the tit for tat, and humble ourselves. When action against you is incorrect, give it less energy and more humble observance to trusting God.
Accept imperfections, attempting to become more real in relationships, by admitting we remain a work in progress, the love of God is first, and we are second. No matter what others say or do, you are loved. You are a beautiful and wonderful creation made as He designed, and don’t let anyone stop you with their Tit for Tat or something like that.
Don't We all Live in Glass Houses
Which are you...
Kathy Henderson (author) from Pa on September 24, 2014:
DDE thank you I appreciate your thoughts
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on September 22, 2014:
You have dealt with this hub in the most respectable manner.
Kathy Henderson (author) from Pa on May 19, 2014:
SO very true, and our God is so good to give us gentle reminders of His purpose for our lives and shows us ways to serve for Him. We are so blessed in this world and most blessed to know Him as our Savior, and he is to be shared with all we come to meet and know. Blessings
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on May 18, 2014:
Some times we just feel like "of course people get this" and then we see that many just do not. Right in our own homes people are so busy reaching for that brass ring, they forget that it is already in their pocket. God has given us not what we only need but abundance. Excellent piece here.
Kathy Henderson (author) from Pa on May 16, 2014:
Thanks, had to use it, such a catchy phrase and it fit, LOL, and AMEN, we all need to slow down just long enough, to love one another :)
Kathy Henderson (author) from Pa on May 16, 2014:
Good Morning MsDora,
Thanks for stopping in, and for your sweet comment. I wasn't addressing anyone in particular just an issue I see in need of some attention. As a Sunday school teacher for teens and a mama myself, I'm just saddened at the world and some of the ideas our kids are subjected to. I always want people to know, the better option is God our Father's loving example. I see this particular hub has been flagged for some sort of inappropriateness, so no ads allowed, I am not clear why, I assure it was not meant to offend but rather to share God's Love. For me it is not about the ads and all about Him :)
Paul K Francis from east coast,USA on May 16, 2014:
I like it, tit for tat, ain't nobody got time for that. We need to stop and listen or at least slow down and let go. Have a nice day.
Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on May 16, 2014:
Good message. We have the tendency to assert our superiority at all costs, until we mature in wisdom and understand that compared to God, we are all on level ground. Thank you for dealing with this issue.