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My Drastic Abandoning Some Creepy Crap


Val is an out-of-the-box writer often questioning the validity of many popular tenets of cultural paradigm..



Mystery of everything has from ever been a delicacy for my ever exploring mind. All into these days, as I am pushing the second half of 70's, I just can't have enough of those new discoveries in fields of quantum physics, energy medicine, mind-over-body stuff, Matrix Energetics, secrets of the unused human potentials, biocentrism, epigenetics, and anything else made credible by someone with long credentials.

Even something that at first glance sounds like "esoteric", but is well dealt with by bona fide scientists -- namely kundalini -- became my regular practice of expanding my consciousness beyond anything that's communicable.

But it was not always like this. Shortly after arriving in Canada as a young immigrant, I got myself hooked on any esoteric subculture that alphabet could produce.

It definitely wasn't a hard science, but rather a bunch of quite elegant systems of interpreting the realms of the unknown, as well as of the human nature. (Ironically, as I compared decades later, much of it turned to become scientifically sound, although under some different names).

In that list of things I can remember Hypnotism, Zen meditation, Lateral thinking, Transactional analysis, Transcendental mediation, Silva Mind Control, Psycho-cybernetics, Erhard Seminar Training, Dianetics, Sedona Method, Emotional Freedom Technique, Focusing, Primal scream, Brain Wave Vibration -- along with some creepy stuff like Shamanism, White magic, and similar crap.

All that was actually affecting me quite positively, since practicing some of it required highly relaxed vibes, for which I seem to be a "natural" due to my phlegmatic / sanguine temperament which basically doesn't give a shit.

People were responding to me in ways as if they could sense that they could retract their defensive claws in my company. On my job they jokingly called me "Brother Val", like I was some kind of a monk.

In a few of those spooky books I read how once you get yourself into that stuff, even if you want to bail out, you are never the same person as you were before.

And did I ever bail out!

It was one night as I came home after my afternoon shift at work. For some hours I had been making daring plans for a creepy experiment. The book had given me a fair warning which only made my curiosity bigger.

With my wife and our three year old son sleeping, I stepped into the kitchen of our small flat apartment, took a beer out of fridge, sat at the table, lit up a candle, turned off the light, and with a gaze at the flame I did some crazy ritual which I don't remember now.

And then it happened. The door behind me I kept wide open, so that the door knob was actually touching the wall on the side. Now I heard its hardly audible squeaking, but in my ears it sounded like rusty Hell's gates opening.

There was no air circulation in the kitchen that could explain the door closing from that position of touching the wall on its side.

I didn't sit to think about it though -- I more or less jumped and turned the light on, put out the candle, lit up a cigarette, and had a good gulp of beer. Now I am not denying -- it could have been just my overactive imagination at that moment, but I felt something like a "presence".

All I knew was that I would never "go there" again.

And I never did.

The following two rhymed pieces are not depicting anything dramatic referring to those days, albeit they want to say something about my never ending love for the unknown.

And by the way, I would assume that no one, after having read this post, with all above listed fields of my interest, will ever wonder why my niche is what it is.

In Love with the Unknown

So much is around not meeting the eye

completely out of our five senses range

and there is not one day that passes by

that I don't see reality being so strange.

Staying firmly grounded at realm known to all

I don't let my imagination get the best of me

and yet deep from within is coming this call

to allow my mind to be exploring and free.

I don't think of angels, of demons even less

and in a total honesty I say: "I don't know"

but that's something I have to confess

mystery of all sets my soul aglow.

Whether it's pyramids, or unexplored genes

or it's the many puzzles of the human brain

I want to get closer to that by every means

as long as it leaves me reasonably sane.

What's overly familiar, isn't one bit appealing

sameness feels robotic, so does certitude

I've got this urgency to lift up my ceiling

to remove tree so I could see wood.

Games of life are simple, they don't need much brain

and I could go blindfolded through much of my days

but it's those many things that no one can explain

that are haunting my curiosity in so many ways.

Mystery of All

Mystery of all is engine of my spirit

a big part of purpose of my existence

whatever it may turn out -- I don't fear it

as I'm searching for clues with persistence.

For, what if all we know is a grand illusion

and truth would come with a different mind

as we chase our tails in pathetic conclusion

pondering on a cheapest truth we could find.

What is the reality of my five senses

if it's true that I see with my mind

what's true with different lenses

other than the current kind.

And ultimately what's there for me to do

to disperse the fog of this separation

between the apparent and true

in this reality creation.

I hope I am granted enough time

if not for truth but at least for its taste

for it would really be an unforgivable crime

to let my life be spent on some banalities waste.

© 2021 Val Karas


Val Karas (author) from Canada on April 17, 2021:

John -- Talking about creepy -- I only wrote my comment once, and it appeared twice, LOL.

Val Karas (author) from Canada on April 17, 2021:

John -- I'm glad to see that we share this same interest. Indeed, so much is out there, as well as in the mystery of our own selves, that tickles curiosity.

Val Karas (author) from Canada on April 17, 2021:

John -- I'm glad to see that we share this same interest. Indeed, so much is out there, as well as in the mystery of our own selves, that tickles curiosity.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on April 16, 2021:

I enjoyed reading about your creepy experience of the door closing unexplainedly. There are many things in this world that are almost beyond so-called "sane" explanation. I enjoyed the poems.

The unexplained has always held interest to me as well. Thanks for sharing, Val.

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