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Love Matching By Horoscope: How Astrology Tells If It's Friend or Flame

Sylvia Sky, astrologer, Tarot reader, and gemstone enthusiast, is a widely published author of books and articles about spiritual matters.

These Planets Reveal Relationship Potential

After several years two casual acquaintances suddenly met again. They once belonged to the same friend circle. Now both are single and looking for love – so what are their chances?

To find out, an astrologer will compare their birth charts, seeking compatible aspects between planets known to indicate relationship potential. The planets that count most are the personal planets, those nearest the Earth: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars.

Here’s what each of those planets can tell about the possibilities of a good relationship:

The Sun: Can each respect the other as a human being? Find common ground?

The Moon: Are these two compatible emotionally, or will there be drama, tears, condescension, misunderstandings, and power struggles?

Venus: Is there genuine romantic and sexual potential? What are the chances of harmony?

Mercury: Do these two share basic beliefs, moral values, and modes of operation – such as being punctual or keeping promises?

Mars: Could these two handle disagreements and hardships without the whole relationship turning into a war zone?

Astrology has 4,000 years of experience answering questions just like these, using those same five planets. Romantic relationships work best when two people’s natal Suns, Moons, and personal planets happen to harmonize with each other. There are several types of favorable planetary alignments.

Astrology software is needed to set up the double horoscope required for a compatibility reading. Each person's birth date, birthplace, and birth time are required to reveal the truth.

Two Charts in One, and How to Read Them

Rather than setting two people's birth charts side-by-side to compare them, a compatibility reading uses a classic setup called a “bi-wheel,” one chart nested inside the other.

The full chart is just below. The colors of the symbols let us identify the five "personal" planets we need for our reading:

  • Sun: a red bull's eye.
  • Moon: a blue crescent.
  • Mercury: a small yellow Venus sign with "wings" on top
  • Venus: in green, the symbol for "female"
  • Mars: in red, the symbol for "male"

"Zoomed in" pictures are provided to maintain focus on just those five planets. Ignore the other planetary symbols. Part of being an astrologer is knowing where to look.

All We Need Is Planets

A compatibility reading relies on the relative positions of five planets out of the ten. The chart can be non-technical when seeking answers before the two people actually emotionally invest in a relationship.

A compatibility reading relies on the relative positions of five planets out of the ten. The chart can be non-technical when seeking answers before the two people actually emotionally invest in a relationship.

The birth chart of Person #1 is in the center, and Person #2’s birth chart is ringed around it. In a compatibility reading it doesn't matter which person’s chart is in the center. Gender and age do not matter. We stay focused on relationship potential.

Birth charts show our character or personality. We are all born with strengths and weaknesses we can develop or correct. The better we know ourselves, the better our decisions about friends and lovers. Nobody should waste time on hopeless mismatches or unrequited love!

A Near Perfect Alignment of Suns (Might Be Good)

Zoom-in on the chart's upper left quadrant. Both their Suns (in red) align in the sign Aquarius.

Zoom-in on the chart's upper left quadrant. Both their Suns (in red) align in the sign Aquarius.

What Matching Suns Mean

These two have birthdays two days apart, so the pair’s two natal Suns are quite strikingly aligned, almost perfectly aligned. Astrologers call this alignment a conjunction.

We've all had good friends or relatives with birthdays close to ours, and wondered why. It's because the more two people’s Suns are aligned, the more you share similar definitions of a “good person” and a “good life.” This helps pull you two together.

We're comparing two Sun Aquarians. From experience, astrologers usually call Aquarius-Aquarius romances tricky, because Aquarians value freedom as much as they value relationships. If these two get involved, early on they must discuss what freedom within a relationship means. But they will both understand each other's need for freedom.

They’ve already texted back and forth and agreed that in an ideal marriage the spouses live apart, each in their own space, but should talk or text every day and meet for dates.

So their Suns say: Yes, they’re a match!

Yet the Sun is just the "appetizer" in a compatibility reading. There are four more factors just as important. Next, we compare their natal Moons.

Their Moons: The Soulmate Indicators

Zooming in on the blue crescents representing their natal Moons. They're at right angles, symbolizing that these people handle emotions very differently.

Zooming in on the blue crescents representing their natal Moons. They're at right angles, symbolizing that these people handle emotions very differently.

#1: Moon in Capricorn; #2: Moon in Scorpio

The symbol for the Moon is a blue crescent here.

Person #1, in the inner wheel, has the Moon at the very top of their birth chart. Person #2’s Moon is off to the right, practically at a right angle.

The separation between the Moons in these birth charts show they each view emotional life from a very different angle.

The Moon’s zodiac sign reveals what a person's soul needs for fulfillment. Person #1, a Capricorn Moon, probably carefully weighs emotional matters and hesitates to share feelings. The feelings rarely change. They need to feel admired. Person #2 has a Scorpio Moon. This person’s emotions roil like lava within a volcano. A Scorpio Moon person will vent emotional steam and once in a while blow up sky-high. These surges of feeling don’t last. But they can seem irrational to the reticent Capricorn Moon.

Fortunately, a Capricorn Moon and a Scorpio Moon can have a rational discussion. Because their Suns are so well aligned, the pair might learn how to handle the way each expresses their feelings--but “soulmates” they are not.

Their Moons say: Not a match!

What do their Mercury placements say?

Mercury in the House Next Door

The top of the compatibility biwheel is crowded with planets. That means both people have strong personalities. Their Mercuries are in yellow.

The top of the compatibility biwheel is crowded with planets. That means both people have strong personalities. Their Mercuries are in yellow.

Mercury: If Great Minds Think Alike, Is That Good?

People’s Mercury placements show how they think.

Person #1 and Person #2 both have Mercury in the Capricorn. Their Mercuries (in yellow) aren’t aligned, but both Mercuries are near the top of the bi-wheel. Mercury in Capricorn people are serious, responsible, and thorough, with a tendency to overthink. Both these folks will naturally second-guess their intuitions and squelch the sudden inspirations that are the spice of life. Often they doubt their own perceptions. Sun Aquarians – and they’re both Aquarians -- are also famous over-thinkers, so that goes double for this couple.

Maybe that’s why one of them has lived with partners but never married, and the other hasn’t found anyone worth dating since 2012.

With maturity both of these people might realize how much they doubt and overanalyze relationships. They will have thrilling discussions, but both really need to dump their self-consciousness and go to dance bars and Disney World, like normal people.

Their Mercuries say: An intellectual match; but loosen up, people!

Venus: One's in Sagittarius and the Other's in Capricorn

Venuses are in green. Person #1 (inner wheel) will take a chance on love. Person #2 (outer wheel) has Venus caught up with Mercury, and is slower to fall in love.

Venuses are in green. Person #1 (inner wheel) will take a chance on love. Person #2 (outer wheel) has Venus caught up with Mercury, and is slower to fall in love.

Venus: The Wavelength of Love

If the comparison of their Venuses is favorable, their casual friendship might catch fire. Most of us know the symbol for Venus is also the “female" symbol and it's the planet of love. Above, it's in green.

Their Venuses share the same astrological “house” or sector – House 9 – house of adventure, education, travel, and expansion. Yet by birth, Person #1’s Venus sign is Sagittarius. They love the open road and adventure. Their theme is "Takin' a Chance on Love." The Venus in Sagittarius bag is packed; they don’t need much! Their dream vacation: a world tour of unique sites.

Person #2 has Venus in Capricorn in House 9. Person #2 is serious, sophisticated, and cautious. The schedule (and there has to be a schedule) on the world tour must include plenty of “me-time,” and the accommodations must be comfortable and classy – no backpacking or budget motels.

Venus also reveals sexual compatibility. For this pair, maybe it's good after Person #1 has made a commitment, a turn-on for Person #2, who is also a fan of elegant dinners out and morning coffee in bed. Yet #2 is practical and courteous, and will settle for just the coffee, served with a smile.

Their Venuses say: They will probably like the same sexual things, but Person #2’s affection can be conditional, a negative omen for the long term. Half a match.

Mars Opposite Mars

In any compatibility chart, one person's Mars (the symbol for male) in almost exact opposition to the other's Mars means a constant clash of energies. If these two get together it will be a job just to get along.

In any compatibility chart, one person's Mars (the symbol for male) in almost exact opposition to the other's Mars means a constant clash of energies. If these two get together it will be a job just to get along.

How Will They Handle Conflicts? Not Well.

The bi-wheel shows that the couple’s natal Mars placements are in almost exact opposition. Mars represents temperament. Person #2, who has the outer wheel, has Mars on the chart’s left, and Person #1 has Mars on the chart’s right. Astrologically, this opposition makes friction.

Friction can be exciting – for a while. Friction can create a spark and flame. But if this couple wants reliable warmth, both must curb their tempers or, as an alternative, spend a lot of time apart so the spark doesn’t erupt into a raging inferno.

Person #1, with both the Moon and Mercury in Capricorn, is the type to repress anger and grudges; it’s probably the way they were raised. Person #2, with the Moon in Scorpio, vents anger with sarcasm or passive aggression; it’s probably the way they were raised.

The pair might be able to bond over an anger-management class, or martial arts, or with couples counseling; both are intelligent, healthy, and rational. That checks off a lot of boxes on their dating wish lists. We really wish they did better with conflict, but . . .

Their Mars placements say: Definitely not a match.

The Final Astrological Judgement

The astrologer’s overall and preliminary judgement: The pair have positive friendship vibes, good conversation about shared values and hobbies, and might feel bonded as “two against the world.” But they are not emotional matchmates. A relationship is possible if they agree to live apart.

And they’ve already talked about living separately before even having a date. So, friend-zone, and they should cheer each other on while both looking for a better love match.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Sylvia Sky

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