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Is There a Dress Code for Christian Women?

Using the Bible as her guide, Marlene maintains a Christian website that shares information about what it means to be a Christ follower.

How we dress says a lot about who we are.

How we dress says a lot about who we are.

Have You Ever Been Asked, "Are You a Christian?"

While exiting the grocery store the other day I saw two women talking in the parking lot. As I rolled my shopping cart past these ladies I heard one of the ladies ask the other, “Are you a Christian?” Her tone of voice was somewhat condescending and at that moment I could not keep myself from turning around to look at them. I wanted to see why the one lady felt the need to ask the other lady such a probing question. The lady to whom the question was posed was dressed in a sheer white blouse with a neckline cut so low that she was exposing all kinds of cleavage. She was also wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans that looked like they were designed by the vicious claws of five angry tigers.

I could not hear the entire conversation, but I deduced that these ladies might have been in a conversation about religion and at some point the question about the person’s character came into play. If the provocatively clad lady was claiming to be of Christian character, I could see how someone might be a little baffled by her attire. Her words might have said one thing while her clothes said another.

Christian Dress Code

To directly answer the question about whether or not there is a dress code for Christian women, no; there is no specified dress code for Christian women. However, while there may not be a specific dress code, there is a suggested way for Christian women to dress. The Bible says…

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 ESV

In Biblical times, tunics, robes, and hoods were practical attire worn to cover and protect the body from the elements of weather and the environment. Over time, clothing also became a fashion statement. People of nobility were able to dye their fabric. In addition, they were able to add stitching and ornaments to denote their elevation in society.

Nowadays, most people have a choice in what they wear. They choose colors, styles, and fabrics to make a statement about who they are and what they represent.

Psychologists say that it only takes a few seconds for people to make up their mind about a person’s character. A lot of that decision stems from the way the person is dressed. In some cultures, people do not have a choice on what they wear. But, when that is not the case, what a person choses to wear says a lot about their character.

Note: By culture, I include religious groups, social stature, and environmental elements such as whether or not a person is told by their leaders what to wear or is poor and cannot afford to buy the clothes of their choice. I consider whether or not the person lives in hot, cold, rugged, wet, or dry terrain. All of these elements somewhat take away a person's complete choice of what to wear.

Dress Like a Christian

When I was a worship leader, I was very particular about the way the band members, especially the women, dressed. We were a Christian rock band, so traditional choir robes were out of the question. I don’t like confrontation, but almost every week, I would have to give counsel to one or two of the women who chose to wear revealing attire. I believed in second chances, so I kept scarves backstage for the occasion a woman would show up at rehearsal in a revealing top and needed to wear a scarf to cover up. I would counsel them on the value of dressing modestly. This counseling session constituted their first and only warning, in which the next occurrence of indecent dress would get them expelled from the band.

The Band: Mosaic

A modestly dressed Christian band.

A modestly dressed Christian band.

Your True Self Will Shine Through

I believe people should dress in a way that makes them feel comfortable. At the same time, I think people should be aware that what they choose to wear makes an outward statement about their inner self.

As a worship leader, I asked the band members to dress modestly while on stage because I did not want the members of the congregation to look upon the band members and then develop the inclination to ask, “Are you a Christian?”

Know who you are and choose to show others the real you, because even if you don’t say a word, your fashion choices will speak out boldly on your behalf.

How to Dress Modestly

In the following video women discover ways to dress modestly yet look absolutely fashionable. Learn about the top 10 clothing items to include in your modest-dressing wardrobe.


Fletcher, Ben C. (April 20, 2013) What Your Clothes Might Be Saying About You. Psychology Today. Retrieved from Last visited 11/13/18.

Fashion Psychology: What Clothes Say About You. Psychologist World. Retrieved from Last visited 11/13/18.

Pena, Azalea (December 6, 2016). How Should A Modern Christian Dress? Christian Today. Retrieved from Last visited 11/13/18.

Scroll to Continue

Laver, James; de Marly, Diana Julia Alexandra; et al (April 9, 2018). Dress-Clothing. Encyclopedia Britannica. Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc. Retrieved from Last visited 11/13/18.

© 2018 Marlene Bertrand


Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 02, 2019:

Hello Luis, I am so sorry for the delay in responding. With the holidays and guests, it was so hectic and I didn't take time to go on the internet. To answer your question, YES! I am a Christian.

Luis G Asuncion from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 25, 2019:

Doing great too. You know what, may I ask, are you a Christian?

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 25, 2019:

Hello Luis. I am doing well. I hope the same for you, too.

Luis G Asuncion from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 25, 2019:

Hi Marlene. I hope you are now doing okay. Keep up the good work.

God bless you more.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 25, 2019:

Hi Luis, of course, there is no specific dress code laid out in plain language, just a personal expression of modesty.

Luis G Asuncion from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 25, 2019:

I don't think so. There is no dress code for Christian women. Anyway, thanks for sharing and God bless you.

Antonio50S on March 15, 2019:

Thank you Marlene. Just wanted you to know that :)

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on March 15, 2019:

Antonio50S, I know you have a good heart, so I want you to know I am not offended. I do realize you are just kidding around, being light-hearted.

Antonio50S on March 15, 2019:

Hello Marlene again.

If i thought Eric would take anything wrong, i wouldn't have said anything.

However, i am aware how ( sentitive ) to some words you are, and if i thought either you or Eric did take anything wrong ? I would make an ( apology )

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on March 14, 2019:

Hahhahaha! Well, Antonio50S, Eric has not weighed in on the comment, so I am sure he has not seen it yet. I hope he takes it in the light that it was meant. Have a wonderfully blessed day.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on March 14, 2019:

Hello Shannon, you bring up a very good point about coming as you are. Like you mentioned, to me it means you don't have to go out and buy fancy clothes. And, if you just happen to be in the neighborhood, just come on in as you are. Thank you very much for your feedback.

Antonio50S on March 11, 2019:

Hello Marlene. It was said in humour. I'm sure Eric will see the humorous side to it.

Shannon Henry from Texas on March 11, 2019:

Interesting article with good advice. I was reading some of the comments and the ones about the "come as you are" church, in particular, caught my attention. I guess because I never really thought of an invitation to come as you are as an invitation to come to church dressed in unmodest attire, although I suppose it does apply to people seeking help who may be in dire need of attending church at the moment, such as a prostitute. But I thought of it as being more for the poor or homeless who may be in torn clothing or for people who do not like to "dress up". Some people don't have many casual dress attire clothing pieces nor do they have formal attire. You made me stop and think for a minute.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on March 11, 2019:

Hello Antonio50S, I'm staying out of the middle of this one.

Antonio50S on March 11, 2019:

Hello Marlene. Still around.

Just read Eric's comment.

I'm sure Eric is not of the human race or quite normal ? but that's OK.

I'm sure he will find this funny :)

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on February 21, 2019:

Hello Dream On. I know what you mean. There is that old double standard that we must adhere to in order to be accepted in society... the norm. Part of the reason (according to psychologists) that women should not "overexpose" themselves is because men are visually stimulated and seeing the naked flesh of women's body parts is too much for them to bear. For that case, it is best that women keep it all hidden from view. Now, keep in mind, this is what psychologists say.

As for myself, I play it safe and stay on the side of modesty.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on February 21, 2019:

Hello Eric! I am one of those people who sets aside the next day's outfit the night before. Saturday night is my favorite.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on February 21, 2019:

Yes we dress up, it is fun.

DREAM ON on February 21, 2019:

It is a shame in our society that men can go without a shirt in the heat of the summer and women can't. I think our culture has created a world where certain things are hidden. Too much emphasis on women's breasts. I think in African cultures it's no big deal. I could be wrong. Just my opinion. Please don't take it the wrong way. Then when we wear clothes and women show off more of their legs and cleavage it becomes a big issue.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on February 10, 2019:

Thank you, Rajan Singh Jolly, you saw the exact point I was making. We CAN be fashionable without exposing ourselves.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on February 10, 2019:

Oh yes, DREAM ON, I agree that a person's character IS the most important aspect upon which to determine who a person truly is. Unfortunately, right or wrong, many people judge a person's character by what a person wears.

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on February 10, 2019:

I believe dressing correctly, whether there is a religious dress code or not, is of paramount importance in sending out the right message as your dress is the first thing that strikes the person across you.

One can be fashionable without wearing flimsy dresses. The video shows exactly this.

DREAM ON on February 08, 2019:

Your article gives much food for thought. Growing up new clothes bothered me and my mother would wash all my school clothes before I wore them. My older brothers had to wear their shirts starched and ironed. I was glad I grew up when I did.I don't know what I'd do. So I understand your position but society finds ways to judge people harshly even if they didn't do something really wrong. If we had different beliefs and were taught to wear only clothes that were white wouldn't we miss out on all the pretty colors? Even though people from that church would believe only white is right. The clothes dont make the man. The man's character and nature count for something. Just my opinion.

Antonio50S on December 30, 2018:

Hello marlene.

Hope you're keeping well. Just letting you know as well, i won't be posting on Hub Pages any longer.

Having trouble understanding what people are saying in "Words" since words can be misread in different ways. I'ts causing all kinds of misunderstandings, unlike face to face communications.

Happy new year.

All the best to you.

No need to respond back.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 27, 2018:

My sentiments exactly Devika Primić. We don't need to expose everything to the world.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on December 26, 2018:

I think women should dress as they wish. A dress code for Christian women, well that is another topic. Dress as a lady and be comfortable with what you wear. Women don.t need or don't have to show off their bodies in certain public places.

Antonio50S on December 13, 2018:

Had a listen to that song. I like it.

A female responded back to me from her "Hub Page" because i said i like a quote from an article she wrote ( Words have power ) her response was ( Words really are more than words. They define the reality we live )

That sounded very much what Jesus was talking about in ( Mathew 12:31-37 ) All about the words we use.

Verse 32 Going against the holy spirit, is sinning against the holy spirit.

Verse 34 How can evil people say anything good ? Since what comes out of our mouth is what's in our hearts.

Verse 36 & 37 NLT New Living Translation.

36 "And i tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak" 37 "The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you"

( Allowing ) the holy spirit to work within us, creating a new person from within, via Regeneration, Rebirth or Born again, which can take time for some, will create a new person with new attitudes and motives.

( 1 John 5:1 ) "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God"

That carries the idea of gradual rebirth for some, but It's also the same Greek word, same root meaning in ( John 3:3 ) to Nicodemus.

Entering the Kingdom of God in ( John 3:5 ) is the same as seeing the Kingdom of God in verse 3, which could mean we may not enter the Kingdom of God, unless we allow the holy spirit to change us from within, as that happens, we put away the old nature, along with all the Idle & Careless words we use.

We don't always say the right things on the spur of the moment, but we can always make apologies after we thought about what we said, and make effords not to repeat them, by making changes from within.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 13, 2018:

Hello Antonio50S. Right on! As you know, we are nothing without Him!

There is a song titled, "Words." It's by Hawk Nelson. You can find it on YouTube. I like to think of it as my theme song. The chorus pretty much states my intentions as a writer and in life.


Let my words be life

Let my words be truth

I don't wanna say a word

Unless it points the world back to You

The "You" is referencing God. I listen to this song every day. It is a reminder to keep me on track and remember that words have power. As the lyrics of this song say, "Words can build you up. Words can break you down. Start a fire in your heart or put it out."

It is always a pleasure talking to you and sharing the Word with you. Have a beautifully blessed day.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 13, 2018:

Hi Janis! And, thank you for your comment. I do like dressing up for special occasions, too. Still, like you, I am mindful of how I am presenting myself.

Janis Leslie Evans from Washington, DC on December 13, 2018:

Great topic for Christian women or women in general, Marlene. I'm a modest dresser but don't mind throwing in a little sexy for an appropriate occasion, but never too much. The video was great and useful for those women who might need some guidance about their appearance. Thanks for this article.

Antonio50S on December 13, 2018:

To Marlene.

Just want to say ( 1 Corinthians 10 ) is a great chapter, lost count how many times i read that chapter in the past ? Maybe 200 times.

I was thinking Marlene, It's strange why men seek the Glory of men, when In the end, theres no real purpose to it. All man made Glory is temporary, all men & women have limitations.

( Just a few things they cannot do ) they cannot stop us from getting sick or getting older, cannot prevent death, or bring us back to life, and cannot give us "meaning to life"

( Philippians 2:5-8 ) are GREAT verses in showing the right attitude by following the "Example of Christ" who never concidered himself equal to God, taking the position of a servant, humbled himself, and in the end, God himself exalted him to the highest place, and gave him the name that is above all names.

Paul ( 1 Corinthians 11:1 ) "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" ( What Examples )

All true Glory goes to God & Christ alone, but true christians must honour and respect each other, including giving compliments. ( 1 Peter 2:17 )

Some of these women dressed the way they are in churches, maybe looking for compliments, but doing things all the wrong way, even large religions who dress well, have these issues as well, but as long as they walk through them congregational doors, they need help & support, but it maybe good to ask, enquire what motivates them to go in the first place ?

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 12, 2018:

Thank you Antonio50S. Thank you very much, and the glory goes to Him. I am merely a faithful server, trying to do His will in all things.

Antonio50S on December 12, 2018:

That is a "very good verse" God and Jesus are the ones who took the initiative in everything, just for that verse alone, all Glory "HAS" to go to God, everything else falls into place after that.

Who else, and what else can give us meaning to life other than the Alpha & Omega, Firsrt & Last, Begining & End ? ( Nobody )

You to good you are marlene :)

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 12, 2018:

Thank you for your very kind words Antonio50S. One thing I know for sure is that I don't mind not receiving the glory for the work I do here on earth. I would much rather receive glory from God.

As you know, I use to be a worship leader and the one thing I tried to make clear to the band members is that we are not on stage for our own personal benefit. We are there to help lead the congregation through a time of worship. One time, the lead guitarist played a totally cool riff at the end of a song (demonstrating his amazing talent). Afterwards, the audience didn't applaud. He was a little bit stunned and so he held out his hands as if to say, "Well, aren't you going to applaud?" I didn't want him to feel humiliated, so I immediately started into the next song, but you know I had a counseling session with him after that little stunt.

We all want to be appreciated. But, sometimes people do not appreciate us the way we want to be appreciated. I have discovered that seeking approval from people merely leads to disappointment. Of course, whenever I do something I do it to the best of my ability. But, I don't seek approval from people. If the Lord likes what I did, then I am happy.

And, since I use the Bible as my guidebook for life, I refer to

1 Corinthians 10:31 - "So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God (Modern Language).

Have a beautifully blessed day!

Antonio50S on December 12, 2018:


It's always a privilege to give compliments to "humble" people like yourself, people that don't seek Glory from others. How can anybody not compliment a person like that ?

Words from GRACCHUS out of the film Gladiator,

"My lady, as always your lightest touch commands obedience"

"Real gents love inward qualities in a woman, which demands respect and obedience" but have noticed a few Christian Hub Writers who write because they love constant praises and Glory from men, which leads to "Self-Exaltation"

How can people have real faith in "God & Christ" when they seek Glory from one another and to be at the centre ?

According to ( 1 Thessalonians 2:5-6 & Jude 16 ) NIV, which i think Charlie will like,

"Flattery & Greed go together"

( Jeremiah 9:24 ) teaches the opposite, "Let him who boast, boast in the Lord"

Also marlene, i could never praise these "Self-Exalted" prolific christian writers who constantly love being praised while there's others who do a lot of good work for society who don't get noticed. That's unfair, since God doesn't show partiality.

Charlie may be a little hard, but at least he knows who he's following, same with you marlene, for that, "I trust both of you"

If i did write any articles, it would be for the right reasons and motives, just like the one you wrote.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 11, 2018:

Yes, Jason M Quinapondan, I totally agree with you. We have a choice of what to wear. At the same time, knowing that people have a tendency to judge us with their first glance, we might as well let how we dress relay a positive image.

Jason Behm from Cebu, Philippines on December 11, 2018:

Interesting article. I agree that we can wear any attire we are comfortable with, but we have to be considerate since it is our outward statement of who and what we are. With that, people then would judge and worse would stereotype. It is inevitable so to avoid it, we have to consider and be mindful. This article really made good points.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 08, 2018:

My dear Antonio50S, you filled my heart with joy. I have never been quoted like you have just done. Certainly, you are a master in the art of compliments. You truly should write a book on the subject, or at least an article, because your talent in this area should be shared.

Because of the concept of Agape love, it is easier for me to love people than to not love people. I see the good in others first. And, if they do something to hurt me, I still see the good side of them. I know that we all operate from a standpoint of our own life circumstances. No everyone is educated, not everyone is trained, not everyone thinks first before speaking or acting. I don't impose my personal expectations upon anyone. I do expect to be treated with respect, but if someone choses to be disrespectful to me, because I must love them, I do love them... I just don't hang out with them anymore. And, I pray for them, because that is also what the good book of life (the Bible) says we must do. I live by that book. The lessons have served me well.

May our Lord bring you a most glorious and blessed day!

Antonio50S on December 08, 2018:

Wish everybody thought like you marlene. We'd have world peace overnight :)

Antonio50S on December 07, 2018:

Quote: Yours.

"I always try to see life from the other person's perspective. And then I ajust my actions accordingly"

( 1 Corinthians 13 ) "AGAPE" love.


Agape love is the highest of all loves in Greek. I'ts that self-sacrificing love why Jesus gave his life for "all people" "the world" which includes the very creation itself which awaits liberation ( Romans 8:21 )

When we see some of these females dressed the way they are in churches, our views towards them maybe different if it was one of our own kids.

Something i was reading, "Am I a Noisy Gong" ? Based on 1 Cor 13.

"Deep love and sound doctrine must not be separated. Shepheards teach the word of God from hearts captured by the love of God"

Antonio50S on December 05, 2018:

Yes marlene. Agree.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 05, 2018:

Antonio50S, of course I agree with everything you mention and accept your views in the context they are presented. You are definitely in line with the scriptures. At the same time, when the love of others come into play, we do well to look at how what we do might affect others.

I dress the way I dress because I respect myself and want to represent what is referred to as a mature Christian woman. I can choose to wear what I want to wear regardless of everyone else, but I choose to dress in a manner that can be respected by all who I come in contact with. I agree that we all must take responsibility for our own selves and it is not my fault if someone is affected negatively by the way I dress. My article is a simple one. It merely answers the question of whether or not there is a dress code for Christian women. The answer is no. We can wear whatever we want. BUT, if we claim to be a Christian woman, we will show respect to ourselves and to God by dressing modestly and not as those of the world.

I also know I can eat anything and everything, regardless of the person sitting at the table with me. I just imagine how cruel it would be to eat meat in front of a person who might not be able to also eat meat for whatever reason. Depending on their reason for not eating meat, it could be like bragging to their face (especially if they are on a restricted diet and meat is off limits on this diet). It would be like eating a candy bar in front of a toddler and not sharing it with them. Or it could be like a slap in the face (if they have religious or social reasons for not eating meat). It would be as if I am saying I don't give a care about them or their belief system.

I always try to see life from the other person's perspective. And then I adjust my actions accordingly. It never hurts to be courteous of others. At the end of my life I am going to be judged by how I lived and not how others lived. I'm trying very hard to live the life of a humble servant.

Antonio50S on December 04, 2018:

To Marlene.

Just looking into that dress code & the law of love a bit further.

I do understad that example of not eating a steak in front of a vegetarian, but was looking up some verses from ( Romans 14 ). verse 3 says,

"The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not ( condemn ) the one who does, for God has accepted him"

Taking that verse into account as well, though the law of love is applicable, it's not something that's imposed, it's something we do "willingly" out of consideration and love for others.

About the dress code ? This is the bit i disagree with others on. Though the bible does talk about appropriate dress in church settings, it isn't really for the benefit of Men or any issues they maybe having, it's about how christians present themselves towards God who they claim to believe in. I think you mentioned that already.

About the "verses" which talk about not stumbling others, we can only apply them to ourselves, and not to others, and also think there's a big different between foods we may refrain from out of consideration for others, but when it comes to Lust or pornography, nobody in any church should blame a woman because of how she dresses. People out and about are dressed in all kinds of ways, christians cannot complain about that.

The emphasis is on men ( or ) women dealing with whatever internal struggles they're going through without shifting the blame onto others via dress.

Everythng we read in the scriptures apply to ( US ) me first, not the other person.

I really don't believe in judging others, or shifting blame onto them because of "some" mens desires & struggles on how a woman is dressed. And as for how women dress in church settings, they need to realize for themselves what is appropriate in church, ( regardless ) men.

Some of these men need to become "real" men and ( not ) blame a woman for how she's dressed. I know a lot of women don't feel they're doing anything wrong, and even complain how some men behave, so the emphasis is on the man to deal with his inward struggles. ( not the woman )

This is more in line with what the bible teaches.

Antonio50S on December 02, 2018:

To Marlene.

Just wanted to explain. For me personally, dress isn't a major issue. I do like that not eating a steak in front of a vegetarian, that is very thoughtful, that's how people should behave around others, but regarding dress, if churches are not willing to teach it's members what they consider appropriate, then they should just let them come as they please.

Not sure if churches can have it both ways ? For example, JWs expect a certain standard of dress from it's members, with that expectation comes the pressures to conform to organisational standards, which in turn can become open to abuse. These types of abuse issues can apply to any organisation or system, not just within faith groups. The point is, we can never judge by how good or bad, a person is dressed.

Though i said the photo of the band is a nice photo, people have different views as to what they think appropriate. I do know JWs wouldn't consider that appropriate dress, and may excommunicate some members for that ? Depending ? but then you have the opposite extreme by the way you explained, people going to churches in my own words, half dressed.

No church or faith group is perfect, no matter how well or poorly dressed they are, they're all imperfect people deep down, some with issues. As long as people come through the church doors, they maybe seeking something deeper than what life's offering them, for that, opportunities are presented.

After my own past experiences, I'm never going to judge anyone again by how they "first appear" when they walk through them church doors.

I like the expression and words ( FREEDOM IN CHRIST ) I really feel that's what it's about now.

Regardless of dress, if we loose that "First Love" as Jesus mentioned while addressing the congregation of "Ephesus" ( Revelation 2 ) everything else would be going through the motions. That congregation in Ephesus was also know for testing those who made claimes to be apostles, but when you never loose that first love, leaders can become effective teachers with the right motives.

Antonio50S on December 02, 2018:

To Marlene.

I was thinking. I'ts OK for newcomers to go to church dressed as they are ( but only to begin with ) after a while they need to realise for themselves that certain types of "dress" is inappropriate in church settings, and when they realise that, they will start to dress better, outside of church as well.

It also depends on why that church said come as you are ? Maybe they never wanted to hinder newcomers from going for the first time because of how they dress ? Leaders really should be an example, not just in dress, but in what they teach, encourage & motivate.

Being realistic, if a person needs to ask another, are you a christian because of how the other is dressed, then that don't say a lot for either of them, ( especially ) the one asking the question.

I do have a female family member who asked someone exactly the same question because of how the other was dressed, this family member dresses really well, she considers herself a christian, but she don't know anything about christianity or the teachings of jesus, and she don't want to either, yet claiming to be a christian.

I know dress can say a lot, but when you have these types of people dressed really well claiming to be christian, not sure which is worse. Not eveyone who claims the title is a real christian, "cannot even judge myself" but in the end, like the bible says ( 1 Corinthians 4:5 ) the "motives of men's hearts" will be exposed.

Antonio50S on December 01, 2018:

"I would never eat a steak in front of a vegetarian" I like that.

That's the "Law of Love" & "Golden Rule" in action.

( 1 Corinthians 10:24 ) NIV

"Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others"

It's difficult knowing God & Jesus ( John 17:3 ) if we cannot treat our neighbor the way we want to be treated ourselves.

You got me thinking.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on December 01, 2018:

Hi Antonio50S! I once was a member of a church that had the motto, "Come as you are!" They told people to dress however they wanted. However, that motto did not apply to those who had a leadership position in the church. Leaders (both men and women), including worship leaders like me, were asked to dress modestly. Why? Because we "represented" the temple - the body of Christ. Dressing modestly presented the statement that we respected ourselves and Christ. Come as you are did not include everybody.

Your comment about it being a sin to cause people to stumble by the way we dress is very appropriate. I was a group leader in a program called Celebrate Recovery. In that group are people who struggle with all sorts of things, including lust and pornography. What right would a leader in that group have to dress provocatively? It would surely cause someone to stumble.

So, even though, as people we should be allowed to dress how we feel. We should also consider how the person sitting across from us would feel seeing us dressed in certain attire. It's like this - Even though it would be alright for me to do so, I would never eat a steak in front of a vegetarian. It's just not considerate. And, I am all about being considerate of others.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 30, 2018:

Hello Antonio50S. I'm not ignoring you. I had to pick up my grandchildren today. We live quite a distance away. It is taking time to get them settled. I promise to get back to you soon. It's fun chatting with you on a subject I absolutely enjoy. Have a beautiful weekend.

Antonio50S on November 30, 2018:

To Marlene.

That is a very good experience.

I must admit, i never really thought much about how others dress, but i guess people do form opinions about individuals based on first appearances.

I also know some churches don't highlight these issues or what "appropriate" dress is, especially within congregational settings.

One thing i like about certain large religious organizations like the JWs for example, is the way both "men and women" dress, "outstanding" but then straight away some would say, yes, but they don't believe this or that. But the real question is, why do they dress good to begin with ? It has to be because they are taught that to some degree and because of wanting to give God and their faith group a good name, and clean image.

You are right in what you say, and it all comes down to what "stumbles" others.

( 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 NIV ) Though the context is about foods in that setting, the principles behind it is [ universal ] It's about living out the "Law of Love"

"Everything is permissible''----but not everything is beneficial, "Everything is permissible"----but not everything is constructive"

Even though christians may have the right to dress how they please, if they cause a person to stumble by the way they dress, then they are sinning against Christ himself (1 Corinthians 8:12 ) but saying that, they're not real christians yet, "It would be interesting to know why they go to church to begin with" ? but responsobility does rest more with leaders of congregations to teach these things. It's about "examples and teachings from these and leaders" but the rest need to know they're "not" perfect either.

"What we cannot do is take out our frustration on others for whatever reasons" ? The congregations are put in the trust of these leaders to shepheard the congregation of God.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 29, 2018:

Antonio50S, you are very good at compliments and I truly do grab them and bring them close to my heart. Thank you very much for brightening my day.

The verse you shared is something that everyone should surely read and make a point to remember. We don't need what others have, we only need what we need. To ask for more is OK, but if we don't receive it, we should still be happy.

Continuing on to the subject of dress code, my mom told me that I always preferred to dress modestly. She said I didn't want people to decide who I was before I had a chance to show them. I guess I always knew people were quick to judge by what they saw first. Sort of like judging a book by its cover. I didn't want my clothes to "tell all."

I raised three girls. They are all close in age so they were all teenagers at about the same time. When the oldest child wanted to begin wearing the "trampy" style, of course, I said no and gave them all the speech about how others would judge them if they dressed like that. But, I needed to show them. So, I bought some clothes that were like the style they wanted to wear. I asked them to sit in the living room and wait for me to come out because I had something to say to them. A few minutes later I pranced out without saying a word. You should have seen their eyes pop out and their jaws drop to the floor upon seeing their mother dressed in a low-cut tank top that revealed the top of a lacy brassier, mini skirt, artistically torn hosiery, and red stilettos. I didn't overdo it. I was dressed in exactly the style they were asking to wear to school. They were embarrassed. They asked me to go change back into their mommy. My little experiment was a success. It proved a point and they understood the value of dressing modestly. I never had trouble with their clothing choices again.

Antonio50S on November 29, 2018:

To Marlene.

I know there may be medical reasons why some behave the way they do, but ( James 4:1-3 NLT ) goes to the very roots of human behaviours.

"1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you ? Don't they come from the evil desires at war within you ? 2 You want whay you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong -- you want only what will give you pleasure"

The above verses show that even with all the desires and cravings that come from deep within, "they still don't have what they want" And this was addressed to believers.

The trurh is, a lot of them desires and wants are not good for people. The reason they don't have is because they don't ask God, but when they do, their motives are wrong.

This is where trust comes in. When we pray for something, we need to trust that God gives "WHAT WE NEED" "Not what we want", what he gives, and don't give will benefit us in a lasting way. God sees way into the future than to provide peoples temporary desires of pleasure which in the end don't bring real Joy, Happiness, or a feeling of contentment deep down.

These are a few good biblical rules to live by.

Always be happy for others and what they have, and never compare ourselves with them.

"Never covet" seeking what others have.

Never wish bad on anyone, God warns, he takes action on that.

Always be happy with what we have & with what God sees to provide.

And everytime we read passages from the bible, we should ask ourselves, [ How does this apply to me ? What is it saying "to me" personally ? ] And Not, how does it apply to others.

About "Dress Code"

( 1 peter 3:1-6 ) the Emphasis is on inner beauty, that's why dress is so important. It's about being "Drop Dead" gorgeous on the inside.

You must be doing OK to write an article on this.

Just practicing my compliments :)

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 28, 2018:

You are welcome Antonio50S. Although I was answering for myself, I know we all have to be careful about exposure on the internet. There are all kinds of people on the internet and some of them tend to do us harm for whatever reason they might conjure up in their mixed up little heads.

Antonio50S on November 28, 2018:

To Marlene. Read Charlies question.

( Thank you )

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 27, 2018:

My dear Charlie, I won't answer for Antonio50S. But there are a lot of good reasons people hide who they are on the internet. I, for one, hide my location because I have an active stalker. This person has come close to finding me. He has located past areas I have lived - going around asking about me. He identifies himself as my boyfriend (I am married) in hopes that someone would open up and tell him where I am located. He threatens to burn my house down with me in it if I don't give him the attention he seeks. It is very alarming. I don't know who he is, but people have a description of him. Law enforcement is involved. Entire neighborhoods are on alert. I'm being watched and monitored like there is no other business (which is a good thing). I have to be very careful about exposure. My husband and others I love are at risk. So, just FYI, when people are hiding their identity, there might be a valid reason.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 27, 2018:

Antonio50S, thank you for your well-wishes. You are so kind.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 27, 2018:

Hello Antonio50S. Thank you for your compliment. It means a lot.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 27, 2018:

Hello Manatita. We surely are of one spirit. Yes. My daughter is in the hospital. She was unconscious from Saturday night and just woke up on Monday morning. I won't explain the details here because it is her story to tell. But I open it up here so that my friends who pray will send up their prayers for her. Thank you so much for your love. You know my heart is filled with love for you too.

charlie from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth in between the oceans on November 26, 2018:

antonio-- why do you hide who you are???

Antonio50S on November 26, 2018:


Nice photo of the band.

Antonio50S on November 26, 2018:

To Marlene.

Hope daughter (( gets well soon ))

manatita44 from london on November 26, 2018:


I almost wrote you yesterday. Turns out it's your daughter who is ill. Wishing her a speedy recovery. Peace.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 26, 2018:

Hello Antonio50S,

I look forward to reading your articles. They are sure to spark up an intense conversation.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 26, 2018:

Hello Charlie.

Thank you for your compliment. My only guidebook for living is the Holy Bible. I don't veer from it as a learning tool. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. But there is no mistaking the words of our Lord. They are crystal clear.

I apologize for taking so long to respond. With the holidays and now with my daughter in the hospital, my mind is preoccupied.

Antonio50S on November 22, 2018:

To Marlene.

"One day" going to give an experience of mine.

It's about "Dress Code" "Compliments" and "How we treat others in churches" [ Especially women ]

"No Rush" Said enough already.

Antonio50S on November 21, 2018:

You are right, Jesus is a great example in giving compliments in a non-judgemetal way.

To the 7 congregations of ( Revelation 1-3 ) he mentioned all the good things about each congregation "first", then afterwards highlighted what they needed to work on.

That's a good example to follow individually, and with some issues going on within chuches.

You also managed to answer a question about truth, and what it is.

" If we allow the holy spirit to lead us, we are more likely than not to walk in the right direction"

Appreciate you highlighting these things.

charlie from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth in between the oceans on November 21, 2018:

Marlene-- Great to see you have such a good understanding of scripture. The scriptures are so clear that in this age the Holy Spirit is the most important part of following Christ, impossible without it. And so many do not understand it is necessary to follow it.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 20, 2018:

Thank you Antonio50S. No matter who we are, we all like compliments, especially from someone who is non judgmental. And, with regard to the art of teaching, one of the reasons I did not boot people off of the worship team on the first offense is because I wanted the opportunity to "teach" them first. Some of the musicians were radical and tested the system. They had to be let go, but most of them learned on the first "lesson."

The dynamics of Christianity is deep. It is not perfect because the rituals are run by human beings and human beings are not perfect. All we can do is pick up our Bibles and read it. If we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us, we are more likely than not to walk in the right direction.

Thank you for your input on this subject of dress codes and decency. I am listening to you wholeheartedly.

Antonio50S on November 20, 2018:


Keeping this one simple, i really don't care how women dress, i talk to everyone as human beings, but saying that, i sometimes see some "Drop Dead" gorgeous women out and about,

I always give a compliment :)

Antonio50S on November 20, 2018:

Hello Marlene.

You got me thinking a bit, maybe a lot.

I couldn't give a straight answer knowing we all form opinions and judgements over some things. Just because we don't have an opinions over one thing doesn't mean we're better than the one who does.

A bit like what paul said, "my conscience in clear, but not without guilt before God"

But i can say for sure ( I'm definitely NOT living in denial ) since that's a river in Egypt :) "but seriously" i could never form any opinion about how a woman was dressed in a congregation or church, but that don't make me better or worse than anybody else. We all have a mixure of good and bad.

One thing i try to avoid now, Never form Judgements or opinions over anybody, it don't matter how good we are in our own eyes, what strengths or weaknesses we have, it's how God sees us, Everything we have, is a gift from him, Why do we think we're better than the next person just because we do things a little different ? Or because we don't do what they do ? ( Jeremiah 17:9 )

I do know the bible talks about Dress Code, but also know the bible talks about being in control of our thoughts, emotions, desires, and so on.

I know some "Dress Codes" are inapproriate within churches, but we cannot blame the woman if a man cannot control his own thoughts. I do know the way a woman dresses may hinder "some" men, but that don't take them of the hook entirely, or give them the exuse to blame the woman because of his/her desires. For that reason, ( It depends on why some people make issues about dress code ) ? Maybe all the reasons are valid, but it's good to know ourselves at leased.

The interesting thing is, the more we know ourselves, the less we judge others.

Regarding the reference to tramp, i had in mind how Jesus treated a certain woman, everbody was ready to stone her to death, but nobody was willing to look at themselves and acknowledge they we're just as guilty before God. I understand the Dress Code, but not the Judgemental side to it.

Verse 2 of Timothy 4 puts emphasis on the way we teach, the "Art" of "teaching" with "long suffering". That means being patient with other peoples faults, ( The flock of God ) since elders are "supposed" to shepherd the congregation of God, not out of compulsion, but out of ( willingness )

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 20, 2018:

Hi Antonio50S. If I may step in... I don't think Charlie was referring to anyone personally. I don't think he was saying the person who dresses immodestly is a tramp. I think he was saying certain styles are styles that a tramp might wear. Come on, let's be real... if you see a person dressed in attire that is cut low at the top and cut high at the bottom, exposing bodily features, even if you do not judge the person, you might be in denial if you say you would not have a certain opinion about the clothes that person was wearing. I know Charlie does not need defending at all, I just wanted to step in to say that I think Charlie was referring to the clothes and not the person.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 20, 2018:

Hello Antonio50S. I have had my share of hurt in churches and you are right, there is no perfect church because people make up the church and there are no perfect people in the world. I like what you said about not abandoning the teachings of Jesus. I believe that is more important than anything else.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 20, 2018:

Hi D! I realize you are addressing direct comments and not the article. I just want to chime in and say that I am also not a fan of people being critical. If I could refer to the topic of the article, I just want to reiterate that this article is not about being critical of what others wear. It's just... psychologists have found that (right or wrong) people make judgments about people based on what they wear. I guess in biblical times they experienced that too, and so it was put into scripture that Christian women should dress modestly. The scripture does not even tell women specifically what to wear and modesty was left up to interpretation. It still is. Reminder: I am only talking about people who call themselves a Christian and people who use the Bible as their reference for life. What does the Bible say about the subject of dress? That was the question I was trying to answer in this article.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 20, 2018:

Dear Charlie, thank you for recognizing that this article is merely pointing out what scripture says about how Christian women should dress. It is not me being judgmental; it is the Bible laying out reasonable expectations for women who call themselves Christians.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 20, 2018:

Hello, D. I hear you and thank you for "seeing" me. I actually am not judgmental about what people wear. I know others are and because of that, I think that's why the Bible mentions that a woman who calls herself a Christian might choose to dress modestly.

Antonio50S on November 19, 2018:

If Jesus went by "first impressions" he wouldn't have spoken to the samaritan woman, yet that samaritan woman was decently dressed.

Sometimes its society's view of others that make us judge so hard, just like the pharisees did.

These woman in your churches are not strangers either, they are potential true christians belonging "ultimately" to God.

Antonio50S on November 19, 2018:

Regardless of how a "Christian Woman dresses, i would "never" call her a tramp. I know Jesus wouldn't either.

Antonio50S on November 19, 2018:

Charlie. I agree with them verses you mentioned, "not saying anyone is wrong either" I just know we all have our own hidden faults deep down, but its much easier to focus on the faults of others.

I agree with ( 2 Tim ) but "Also" know what paul said in so many words, "unless you have the faulse christians amongst you, how will you tell the true ones" ?

If your not happy with the Dress Code for women, "either kick them out of the church" or "Teach them with the art of teaching" but don't judge harshly.

I stopped being involved with religions because of the emotional & psychological abuse towards some of its members, but "never" abandoned the teachings of Jesus.

I know theres no perfect church out there, so why do you judge so hard ?


D on November 19, 2018:

Heres a good "motive tester" from jesus.

Not that its required for real, but it does test us out for real.

"Go give all your money to the poor, then come be my follower"

Oh thats a tough one :) but dont worry, like jesus said, with God, all things are possible.

Talk about "some things hard to let go of"

Bassically, for every fault we find in others, theres 2 that can be found in us. Not a big fan of critics.

charlie from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth in between the oceans on November 19, 2018:

d-real love is saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done whether it is welcome or not. This article is not requiring anything but what scripture requires, dressing modestly, there is no requirement other than not to show parts of the body that make you look like a tramp. Modesty should be shown by anyone with self respect and more so by those professing Christ.

You are talking garbage, there are requirements for real disciples of Christ even though the churches of man hireling system does not teach them. of course, they make christians, only Jesus and His real disciples that do ALL He requires of them can make disciples of Christ, which are what Jesus calls His in this age.

Paul told this to Timothy and his word is certainly worth more than your unscriptural foolishness.

2 Tim 4:1-5

4 I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom: 2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. 5 But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

D on November 19, 2018:

Real love sees past everthing, including dress code, and when we have that kind of love, we wont judge, or say christian women should know how to dress.

D on November 19, 2018:

[ I know you're not one of them ] but a lot of Hub christians are to self righteous, judgemetal, and just want to make a name.

D on November 19, 2018:

External dress code a lot of times dont always reveal whats inside a person.

Wont go into details.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 16, 2018:

Thank you for your kind confirmation Dora. I use 1 Timothy 2:9-10 as a reference tool.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on November 16, 2018:

Thanks for your honest discussion on this topic. All Christian women should know and live by the verse you quoted from 1 Timothy 2. That is the dress code for Christians.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 15, 2018:

Oh Patty Inglish MS, I feel your disgust. It's not necessarily about entertainers who dress provocatively. It's about entertainers who profess that they are Christians and then they dress provocatively. That's exactly what bothers me. I feel like if they want to dress like that, then they should not claim the honored title of "Christian." It makes things look bad for the rest of us.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 15, 2018:

Amen to everything you said, sister RTalloni. I'm not a fan of provocative clothing styles, and I know people should be allowed to choose what they wear. But, where I become vocal is when a person who says they are a Christian chooses to dress like the people of the world. They forget that they are people of the Lord and representatives of the Lord. In that case, I feel they should dress in a way that honors the Lord. You said it all so well.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 15, 2018:

Hello Bronwen Scott-Branagan! Like your mother, my mother taught me the same thing - that what we wear makes a statement about who we are and what we stand for. Moreover, she was more about dressing in neutral attire so that people would have to actually get to know me by my actions versus what I was wearing.

Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Australia on November 15, 2018:

What a great article! This is a topic that I feel quite strongly about. When we dress immodestly it says so much about what we think of ourselves as Christians and how important it is in our lives. When we were children our mother taught us that what we wear tells others about what we really are.

RTalloni on November 15, 2018:

Isn't it odd that people who claim to be Christians but who dress provocatively do not see that the rest of the world looks at them suspiciously. If unbelievers recognize there's something wrong with such a picture one would think that professing Christians would see the problem.

Many claim their right to Christian liberty in this area, as well as many other areas of life. It's very sad that they do not know the real definition of Christian liberty which, simply put, is the freedom to go before God's throne of grace in Christ according to His Word.

Perverting the concept to say anything like "I can do what I want to do" is saying that Christianity is about "me" when, in fact, that is buying into a lie. Christianity is about God's glory in what He is doing through Jesus the Christ (Ephesians is a good place to study out this concept).

Thank you for opening up a discussion on this topic. Honest replies from men who are not afraid of the truth about immodesty are important considerations. More women, especially mothers of girls, need to hear that truth from men, and the discussions need to go beyond clothing.

True Christian life is far, far from what many women suffer behind burkas, nor it does not look like or behave like a flirt or a street walker. It offers women the opportunity to reach their full potential in intellectual circles, the realm of business, and personally, but that does not include doing anything in a provocative manner.

Patty Inglish MS from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation on November 14, 2018:

Very interesting! Up until well into the 1980s I wasn't even allowed sleeveless blouses or dresses at work -- Now the degree of publicly revealed flesh is ludicrous.

I can't get used to seeing men and women of all ages and sizes (even some preachers) in jeans so tight they look painted on - or like panty hose.

Carrie Underwood's dress hemlines that stop right at the bottom of the crotch turn my stomach and she sees no hypocrisy for Christians to be (un)clothed in that way (I don't accept "entertainment" as a good excuse). Then I see that Jill Scott (also professed Christian) not only wears revealing clothing but makes prolonged lewd gestures in her singing act. It's cheap and gratuitous. I suppose the best protest is not only to pray for these folks, but to not watch them and not purchase their albums.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 14, 2018:

Hello Sean! Oh man, you said something that I want to highlight, "...the way we dress is a way to show our respect to others and ourselves." I believe that wholeheartedly. When I first started dating, one of my gentleman callers would go home after school and put on a crisp white shirt and slacks before coming to visit. I asked him why he changed clothes like that (because at school he wore a tee shirt and jeans). He said something that totally blew me away. He said, "Because I want to honor you." I was a teenager and that response stuck with me. To this day, I dress up when going to church because I want to honor my Father. And, love is the greatest accessory of all. Thank you for your compliment. Much love to you, my dear friend.

Ioannis Arvanitis from Greece, Almyros on November 14, 2018:

My dear Marlene, this is a very interesting approach to a topic with many levels. I believe that the way we dress is a way to show our respect to others and ourselves. The prices of the clothes we choose is another significant issue. Great work!

Love is the best attire!


Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 14, 2018:

Hello Manatita. I do agree that modesty is a great start toward treating the body as a temple. What we put in and on our body tells a great deal about our level of maturity in the One we love so well.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 14, 2018:

Hi Eric! Thank you for your compliment. And, I just love that word, "vaingloriously." It is the perfect word to describe what I am talking about. Does the fat man wear the tee shirt because he is vain or because he knows beach goers don't necessarily want to see all of that?

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 14, 2018:

Oh Charlie, thank you for sharing your experience. Well, one thing is for sure, nobody is perfect. I have seen hypocrisy in just about every organization. The good news is that you recognize it. Oh, believe me, I have seen some unbelievable outfits worn by Christian women. I just look at them as immature women who have not been taught or have not learned the value of dressing for who they represent. Oh, by the way, what church was that because I think I recognize that outfit? Just kidding of course. Suffice it to say, attire like what you described is the motivation for the article.

manatita44 from london on November 14, 2018:

My dear Dora approached the subject of modesty a long time ago. I believe we talked about it. Such an important part of spiritual living.

I believe i went even further to talk about purity, but modesty is a great start. Unless one is innately spiritual and becomes transformed through Grace, then the pull of the material world is very strong and we wish to look attractive.

Your hub is a timely reminder that the body is sacred, for it is an instrument of a Higher Light.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 14, 2018:

Very well done.If one dresses all show offy of their body they show and act vaingloriously. Does a fat man not wear a shirt at the beach? Marlene you are a special one. A treasure and you can dress up your writing as pleases you.

charlie from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth in between the oceans on November 14, 2018:

Good article and much needed.

back before we realized how satanic the church system really is we visited a "church" where the "worship leader?" wore a knit top with her nipples literally sticking through the mesh (it embarrassed my family), the "pastor" stopped me and was concerned about my girls wearing slacks. needless to say it did not end well. But my girls did learn the meaning of hypocrisy.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 14, 2018:

Hello John! I agree. The first impression may not always be right, nevertheless, an opinion is formed just by looking at a person. Sometimes it is hard to get to know a person if the first impression is deeply imbedded in the other person's mind or if what the person is wearing is speaking so loudly it overshadows who they truly are inside.

Marlene Bertrand (author) from USA on November 14, 2018:

Hi Bill! While I didn't grow up Catholic, I do remember seeing the Catholic kids in their school attire. To be honest, I was a little bit envious because, to me, those little black and white outfits were kind of cute.

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