Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.
It Was Time That I
"took off the gloves," and went toe-to-toe with a life-long serious area that can affect both girls and guys especially when they are in church. Now that the idea is planted, we need to get talk a little bit more about how to go to worship and leave church blessed and not guilty of spilling compliments to a "Miss Missy," and the preacher telling you to either get right with God, or simply don't come back.
Thank God, I've had none of these two said by any preacher or told not to come back. In Aug. 1973, I surrendered to God on a hot summer night and nothing has been he same in my life. Honestly, there has been a few times when I would get really excited in teaching adult Sunday school, (because my church then did not show excitement), but they didn't.
I am not boasting, but I have sat on both sides of church, the single and married life and I tell you, for me it is far more difficult to stay "on the straight and narrow" as a single guy than one, (me) who married his sweetheart June of 1975. Young men who are still single, hope that only one of my bits of advice will help you stay happy and still appreciated by your church.
Single Guys Beware of These Things You do in Church
first of all, I know that you do not mean any harm, but these things are in your DNA and you cannot help them unless you reach-up to God and ask Him to step-in, otherwise, you're looking at lots and lots of trouble.
Sure, no reason to lie, girls are very pretty, there's no argument. But a girl's ravishing beauty can distract you if you are in your church for your weekly service and the thing is, she may not know that she is bothering you. Did you get that, guys? We might as well admit it. The problem lies within us. So if the problem is within us, then we can invite the help and enjoy a great service in church.
But it's those times that I am taking the time to send these free tips and see if they can help you. And if these tips so help you, I'm sure that God is very happy for you to read and follow my thinking
These Free Tips to The Single Guys, Can Help Them Stay Clear of Trouble in Church:
10.) If your eyes pass across the audience and they do land upon a gorgeous redhead and she puts a smile on your face, then STOP! Start punching yourself in the face as hard as you can stand it. People around you may laugh, and if they do, great. Just more help to keep you from lusting at the redhead.
9.) Keep a pair of broken glasses (the lens) in your pocket just in case this willowy blond with long hair should walk to your pew and sit in front of you. Sure, you will notice her. That is your nature, and if you no-ice her, that is normal, but if you climb over her pew, then you have blown it. You've embarrassed her and those around her. What to do? When the first sense of temptation arises, hurry and put on your broken glasses. See how funny she looks? Now be fair. No single guy is going to chase a pretty girl who looks like what you see in broken lens in eye glassest
8.) This tip may seem stupid, but read and think it out. Keep a pair of mule blinders in your pants pocket to just be on guard for feminine temptation. When a gorgeous brunette walks by you, then slap on the mule binders. You will profit from these nostalgic items and those around you will laugh some, but when you explain what you are doing, they will start giving you compliments right and left.
7.) This tip is painful, but had you rather suffer a little moment of pain or having to repent to God for being so weak toward pretty girls? With either foot, kick the other leg as hard as possible if a pretty woman should cross your pathway. You should get a big bruise from this tip, but at least, you do not feel like walking to talk to this pretty woman and then you will be fi
6.) Confide in your church's deacons and tell them about your problem wth females and get these guys to keep a watch on you and as the church service begins, and this pretty girl sits across the aisle from you, you have told the deacons to walk to you and bite your earlobes--a very painful lesson to keep you from getting in trouble.
5.) Ask your wife if she would like to help you from lusting from other women. Most wives would jump at the chance to help their husbands. All that she has to do is while she sits with you in church (like she does now) is when she sees your head start turning from straight ahead in the direction of a gorgeous woman, and the wife can begin to pinch you in the ribs; punch your side as hard as she can; run her hand into your pants whee your money and car keys are located, things like this will distract you from flirting with this woman for sure.
4.) Quakers in olden times had a man with a long stick that was used to keep people awake from those 12-hour sermons, so the same stick can be used by someone that you know in the church to sit near you and when your head begins to move in the direction to a pretty lady, the man will suddenly strike you on the head with his long stick. And continue to do so if you do not stop your lusting.
3.) Here comes your wonderful wife to help you again. When you feel that burning urge to look at a pretty young woman in her mid-30's, just bend over in the direction of your wife's purse where you will find a can of mace that when your wife spews this hot liquid into your eyes, you start yelling, E.R.! Doctor! Forget about the pretty woman.
2.) Keep your head bowed all the way to your knees. The pain from this activity will not allow your thoughts to drift from your preacher's message, to a gorgeous blond sitting with her sister who is also blond. Yes, help is there if you need it.
1.) I hate to advise you to do this, but GO HOME when a pretty girl sits in the pew in front of you. Go home if NONE of the aforementioned tips has not helped you, but if you are home, then you are not close to the girl who might be the source of your sexual frustration. Do this ONLY if the need gets too serious.
I would leave you with my phone number if you would like to call me and tell me if these tips worked or not.
So, guys, be pure. Keep your eyes from temptation.
June 01, 2021_________________________________________________
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© 2021 Kenneth Avery
Nathaniel Stalling Jr from Detroit, MI on June 03, 2021:
This is a very good and informative hub. I'm glad you addressed what needed to be said. Well written.
femi from Nigeria on June 02, 2021:
Marrying a church girl is common in my country. This is because a serious church going dude joins a society or group in the church and end up being friends or regular contact with the church girl. In most cases they both leave in the same area making it easier for deeper relationship.
Angel Guzman from Joliet, Illinois on June 01, 2021:
Hey the heart wants what it wants, lol. Us males are very visual and if you are a regular church goer I guess this could be a great place to pick up women or a guy. To each their own and I hope the church would understand a simple sermon brought two people together.