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Eric’s Sunday Sermon; Learning to Live Again

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Learning to Fish

Delicious Rainbow Trout.

Delicious Rainbow Trout.

Our Roles

Learning to live again is tough again. I do not want to learn how to live again. It is brutal in so many ways. However learning to live again is an opportunity to learn, and that is cool. I heard when we stop learning our mental acuity starts to fade. I am not ready to fade into the background yet. So I better get on board and learn how to live again.

As I was writing this I kept going “lo” instead of “li”, love instead of live. Maybe in my brain learning to live again is really more about learning to love again. Let us just say that about half of us get a little burned out from time to time. If it can be done, the curing prescription is to take a break. Well guess what, that decision was made for us by doctors. Many many have taken a couple month rest from work. The first couple of weeks were decompression and tough. The second few weeks we got used to it. Then we can really enjoy it. I reckon for a good portion of us we had to learn how to live again.

And now, back to work and it is back to learning how to live again. Perhaps this is also learning how to love again during the whole process. Assume there was a man/husband and he loved his wife very much. But they were caught up in the whole rat race. Well the wife was, the husband “worked from home”. Boom, in one breath she was sent home, from 10 hours a day to zero hours a day. But then the chore of learning to be around the small family 24/7 a tough month of adjustment for all. But love was there and it was a home community affair so it went relatively smooth.

A funny thing is about people who spend a day in their home alone. It becomes a domain ruled by one. Now just go ahead and let someone in that thinks that they are now the ruler of the home. Bad scenario. Unless it is handled with love, or is that handled with care. Not much different but the roles need to be adjusted.

Here is a clear phenomenon that is just true. Take a person in management. They are trained and practice at being the boss and telling people what to do. They do it day in and day out. Now in 24 hours take that habit away and who are they going to boss and expect to be obeyed. Yikes!

Dang, It is Hard

The Tree

Each year it learns to live again.

Each year it learns to live again.

Time Teaches

And then the other shoe dropped and the wife was told that there was to be no job to go back to. Right around the beginning of month two. Wow! Over ten years at a great job and boom, gone forever. Here you go; and the winners are: Death of a loved one, Divorce, Moving, Major illness or injury, Job loss (in no particular order) Those are the 5 major stressors as a general norm.* Many people have an identity that is real close to their profession. What does someone say when you ask them what they do? They reply with their job position. Just think about that, it is very heavy. I am what I do for money? Well now in the stroke of a pen your identity is taken from you. And then learning to live again.

Now back to that learning to love again. Marriages sometimes fall apart from lack of care of the relationship. Or they just go stale. And how often do the parties just have no time to talk issues through to resolution. We know that takes time. But we also know that not working through them causes distraction from other matters and too often resentment that can fester into an atomic bomb. But like exercise it takes effort and a commitment to learn how to be healthy again.

So the time is now abundant. No reason not to talk things through? We now circle around to those months. Sitting down and talking things through is not normal for all of us. Voices get raised, brutal honesty is taken for insult, and impatience wears thin. By golly for most this is a situation we have to learn in order to live well. And two people have to learn it together without admitting or even recognizing that there is an issue. Now go ahead and take away the, outside the home, trusted support peoples. Really? The internet and phone work just fine. But if that be the case we have to learn distant support. Thank goodness when we make it to month two. One month would just be too short.

Beautiful

Rivers always change.

Rivers always change.

Every Day

Stay the Course

Wait just a minute. I am taking time off and expecting to do some needed down time and relaxation. Think of retired people and how some have a real hard time relaxing. Well that takes some time and effort. But if in this relatively short time we learn a new better way to relate and communicate. Wow, built up resentments are gone. Silent suffering is poof. Those “things” we were filling ourselves with are basically gone by month three. But now the finance comes into play. Maybe that list above should have included bankruptcy. Not to worry filings and people under the umbrella of filings is about 1.5 million people a year. How easy it would be for me to say “worrying only makes matters worse”. And you would be within your rights to strangle me. And don’t forget that your child is losing about a trimester of schooling.

These concerns are real. It is OK to freak out and really freak out. You have the time. And then it is time to get back to work. And actually for a whole lot of people that is just in time. For many who have no job left to return to it is too late. We pray that they can hold on to the new way of living for a bit longer.

Here is another one to cheer you up. About 50% of all new business fail in the first five years. Yes you are looking at millions losing their job each “normal” year due to business failure. So there are many guides to help anyone get back to work. However there still need to be jobs.

So learning to live again takes on all facets of life. Nobody said it was going to be easy in this big old world of life. So now what do we do?

The Christian faith has a notion that if you confess your sins you can be excused from them. But the catch is that you have to repent in earnest. That is a problem and causes the cry of hypocrite. Repent is to denounce the bad and turn away from it and don’t do it again. Today so many have been given the gift of slowing down, taking time for what is truly important and learning to live again. But we know that most folks will not continue to do so, they will turn their backs once again from the loving way of living. They learned how to love and live again but old habits die hard. Many will be like the addict who made it clean for 90 days only to relapse.

Please stay with us. Please don’t forget how to live again in love.

*Depending on the person it may include such things as loss of pet, loss of a serious memento, loss of faith.

Change

Comments

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 23, 2020:

Thanks Devika. Please do write and share some photos of your wonderful Croatian Spring time.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 23, 2020:

I like the photo so adorable and your lessons are worthy to everyone.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 16, 2020:

Thanks Bill we will try to get with it around here.

William Kovacic from Pleasant Gap, PA on June 16, 2020:

There is a lot to relearn. It was hard the first time for sure. No telling what this time around will bring. But as always - we get through it and grow. Thanks for this, Eric.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 15, 2020:

Bill back, way back, when I got divorced I had to learn where and how to grocery shop again. But I danged sure knew where the mini-marts were.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 15, 2020:

clive it was enough for some soup, spring rolls and straight up.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 15, 2020:

Dora bless you. Happy is how you made me feel just now. I know we have the joy going on, but it is also good to add happy.

I still write handwritten letters. I always sign them "Sincerely". My mom said if you write a note be sincere.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 15, 2020:

Flourish don't those people make you mad. I actually have raised my timid voice to say "Back off". You know what, it is not just the COVID deal. I like my space and while deep I love, I don't know what you got all going on up in there.

Perhaps I will write about the old fart in line who did and he looked around and said "good thing we are distancing".

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on June 15, 2020:

I had to learn thirteen years ago. I had completely forgotten how to be happy. I had forgotten how to interact with people.

Thankfully people loved me enough to teach me those things.

And now, today, I live again and love always.

Clive Williams from Jamaica on June 15, 2020:

Those fish looks like they would make a nice fish salad

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on June 15, 2020:

"But the catch is that you have to repent in earnest." True, Eric. And we have to forgive in earnest and love in earnest. We have to be genuine across the board and you have been promoting that regularly. I appreciate you.

FlourishAnyway from USA on June 14, 2020:

I’m pretty much still staying home except to get groceries. The non-social distancing lot scares me. It seems to be a political statement where I am and people will get close to you in public with no mask like this virus never happened. I’m very happy in my home going about my business and one of these days I’ll get back out there, no doubt. I’m all about flourishing under what circumstances I need to face.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Thank you Verlie I like all you comment. I think WWII and that depression are the closest I know of. I keep an extra mask in my pocket. I have given away two and been told to stuff it by two.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Mel how do they say that? surrender is the finer part of battle? My first wife, god rest her soul, no she is not dead but her soul was. Could only identify me as a lawyer. When I quit she disowned me. She did not like me as a preacher either. (OK I am kidding about my wonderful ex we are best buddies)

I note my mail people shift around a lot more and the mail is two hours later. Poor Carriaires.

Verlie Burroughs from Canada on June 14, 2020:

Yes Eric, Change is stressful at the best of times (love that Bowie song by the way). But who saw this coming, change on a scale so massive that it's affecting everyone on the planet at the same time? I've had to go to work through it, less frequently, but still enough to keep me constantly on edge. And it's far from over with things opening up there is fear of a second wave which is already playing out in many places. I am thankful for people who continue to practice social distancing and wear a mask as a cautionary measure to protect the most vulnerable. There is so much we still don't know. It is a scary time and we need to love and support each other as much as is humanly possible. Amen Brother. You rock!

Mel Carriere from Snowbound and down in Northern Colorado on June 14, 2020:

Wow this quarantine is really dragging on now. Fortunately, I suppose, my wife does not work so I had already adapted living under female supervision. In other words, I just pick my battles because there is no point beating my head against a wall.

By the way, Mel Carriere here has no idea what subverting one's identity to a job means. Such an idea outrages me.

Great sermon, Preach. I think I'll take a nap now, if the boss lets me.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Thanks Manatita -- somewhere in writing this I came upon parables of rebirth, born again and reincarnation. I left them out for the sake of my readers ;-)

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Ruby let us call the discomfort shyness. Lol. I just think things like that are hilarious. Look at us all grown up ;-) We are enjoying this so much that we took a vote and unanimously went with not ever going back! I will let you know how that works.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Linda I hear you. My wife is just not into it. She considers picking up Gabes homework and once a week shopping essential -- but nothing else will get her out.

Suits us all just fine. Now we do all walk for 30 minutes a day, hey does that count?

manatita44 from london on June 14, 2020:

Yes, we must learn to live again. That is sincere talk. We are all vulnerable and we ought to rely on something Higher, but with the simplicity of a child. Of course we will stumble, everyone does?

So no heavy talk now. We just try. We try a little more and we try a little more. Step by step. Divine Intelligence is watching and will surely help us.

My love to your wife and I hope things work out. It has been hard for many. Stay well.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Mary thank you for your comment. May I add that you always make me smile. Life has been tough on you, it seems to just make you more loving and that is the best reason to smile of all.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Pamela, I got good and sick for a bit, my isolation made this one seem fun. I had a situation where I basically had no immune system. The day I was pronounced alive again -- the party of love was on in a new wonderful way.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on June 14, 2020:

It is true, I have stayed in my home so long I'm apprehensive about going anywhere. My beauty shop opened again and I went in for a much needed cut. I felt uncomfortable. I don't know why really. I guess I got so used to distancing and being around people made me nervous. I wonder if it will ever feel like it used to? You are right about love, it will see us through these times. I think not seeing out of town family is the worst. Stay safe and keep on writing.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on June 14, 2020:

Learning to live again--we're still not ready. Daughter won't step beyond our driveway. The loving part we've got down in spades though. It keeps getting better and better.

Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on June 14, 2020:

You have brought up so many key points here, Eric. I know exactly what you meant to live again when my husband passed away. I was lost, at first, but I have several very close friends who are single and they told me to just do it. They have done it all these years. So, off to my friends, driving on my own.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on June 14, 2020:

Heck John, I know some in their twenties. hihihi. Have good rest.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on June 14, 2020:

This is another good sermon, Eric. We should all be able to live again and love again. After going through traumas we do need to work on learning to live and love again. Thanks for such a powerful sermon, Eric.

Ann Carr from SW England on June 14, 2020:

This is an apt message for any time, but especially for now. I'm already feeling apprehensive of going 'out' into the 'real' world again. I don't know why. Probably because I've been cocooned at home for 12 weeks and only been out in the garden or for short walks by the sea. The town has been a no-no and now I have to try it again! So tomorrow, armed with mask and gloves and my 2 metre cane (no, not really), I'll see what life has to throw at me.

Living in trust and love is the only way we can progress, after all.

Ann

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on June 14, 2020:

Learning to live and love again..we are never too old to learn new things. Thanks for sharing, Eric.

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