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Eric’s Sunday Sermon; Bi-Polar

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Well Maybe It Makes Sense

The boy just barely standing up.

The boy just barely standing up.

Ups and Downs

Bi-Polar, two extremes. Depression and mania. Everyone has it. It is the degree of bi-polar that makes the difference. Oh to be sure for each of us bi-polar includes anger and anxiety. Like studying a COVID virus it is fascinating. I understand that both the virus and bi-polar are so bad we don’t get to call them interesting. But I get to. I have the education to do so. What B.S. So do you. Some folks have mild symptoms and get over both quickly. Some of us have “pre-existing” conditions and cannot.

Do not even try to suggest you have never felt down. Do not even suggest that you have never been crazy energetic. You would be lying like a rug. Some “depression” can be like suffering a loss. Say a death or divorce. That stinks but it is external.

Some “mania” can be as simple as getting a little too “jacked up” for Christmas. Perfectly normal although you might feel a bit down after a Christmas party. I like to look at it in the micro. Do what you need to do and feel well. Don’t do it and feel bad. Treat someone well and you are well. Treat them bad and you are in a bad way.

Faith is cool and religion is cool. Both of which are clearly distinct and can get you up and get you down. Powerful stuff from the external. I like to call them effective. Meaning that outside stuff makes us feel inside stuff. Some psychobabblers like to suggest we should be all inner self. Outside influences do not affect us if we are grounded and not in the ego. Well good for them. I bet if I, screaming, called them a dirty no good rotten SOB and kicked them hard they would be effected. Theirs would still be bi-polar but of a normal sort.

Life is good except when it is not. There would be some who say an even balance is ideal. That is interesting. Should I act the same in May as I do November? They are different so shouldn’t I be? Should I feel the same as the day my child is born, as when God forbid a good friend dies? Should I feel the same when I plant a new plant as when it bears fruit?

Well in answer to the above, I generally do stay even keeled. Let us look at that.

Let It Spin

Blank Slate

Fill it.

Fill it.

What a Ride

Yes it may sound strange but passive normal bi-polar is an outside job. External factors influence our up and down mode as it should be. They can become so intense that they then effect our deeper core. How long should a grieving cycle last? How about for a year for the loss of a spouse. More or less? We cannot say for each case. Even voluntary retirement can scorch for over a year after 30 of working. No one knows normal in such circumstances.

But the soul, the inner working is within our feeling. We can almost understand that. And we need to. My children and I recently lost loved ones in quick succession. In open conversation we agreed that all being said and done we were mad. Now that is some openness and not stuffing. We consoled in the grief but we said to let it out in the anger phase. Plenty of healthy bi-polar going on here.

I have done my time with depression and mania. I was so resistant at first. How agonizing. What control it has over you. Trapped in an otherwise sane mind into despair and crazy activity. I took a long breath and a few days to consult with knowledge in the area. They had no cure. That great news changed my life. Just imagine a day or two in bed with no desire to even shower. But then something comes over you and you are “glad” in that state. Makes no sense at all.

Wallow is a great term and I think we all get the notion of pity pot. Just hunker down and suffer. I would assume I am a great weed. Not really intended to be there. But strong and healthy and actually pretty.

You should see my little home wake up in the morning. Walk softly and go easy I say. Too much fun. We are in a state of “not ready”. Not ready to address the day. I love that term. Depressives can do that for days on end. So what the heck it just lasts longer but is still the same deal. I wake up cheery. I hug and kiss and look at the day with awe struck. No, no I am still not ready to address the day. The same when it lasts the day. It is not, oh that or that just sucks, it is “oh my” that bed looks good. I shall enjoy a long nap. Such a subtle difference.

Changes

Winter and Summer and in between.

Winter and Summer and in between.

Side By Side

One Thing for Certain

My friends just maybe be amused at what I say. That is all to the good. I would think a large portion of readers can rightfully deny bi-polar in their life. Good on ya. A caricature perhaps but I have never met a creative person who does not get the funk. Sorry but I just do not know one. That is 5 decades of paying attention to it. By golly half a century. If you never get it, write a note to me, I would love to know your secret.

Do you remember when you were bulletproof? I do. Some kids got a bit slow wonky. I got a bit crazy active. A danger or damaging behavior looked good to me. A cliff, a fast car, a forbidden gal. Heart ache, heartbreak and break the ribs. I was all in. Then every jet was especially made for me to get on and fly to somewhere. In my personal opinion that is called youth. Getting up to around forty years old. After that it is mania. I pushed it, why not Manilla, Melbourne, Bangkok and Montevideo in one trip. No I am not manic like our two presidential candidates anymore. gees, how do they do it?

Love makes me high. Maybe an abnormal high. From puppies to roses to my wife. Oh well. Act normal Eric.

But let us talk biology type stuff. Some chemical imbalances cause a nasty, ugly bi-polar. Medications may work but they must be constantly adjusted and prescriptions rigidly adhered to. Brutal. In some cases no way out, really. I am sorry but some situations lead to suicide. I cannot describe my sadness over that despair. I have lost from my life such. Nobody’s fault. Just an illness that takes life.

So give a gal a little break. Pick up the phone and shut up. It would appear obvious that in these times of isolation and loss of a job and on and on, folks might just check out while seemingly normally bummed out.

I called a friend on the phone last night to vent and complain and do a little ranting. He calmed me down and went on about his business. He is far worse off than I. Do I wonder about who got more out of it. I know that if he calls me in angst I feel better helping him out. I am not clear enough on that. But the contact makes a difference to both.

There is one thing crystal clear. And that is love. Love brings us together and calms the troubled soul. If you hurt reach out and love someone. If someone hurts reach out and love that one. I know you are busy and have your own issues. So dang well share them. And let others, in love share theirs and yours with you. Don’t regret.

Comments

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 23, 2020:

Great to hear from you Manatitia. I am slow getting caught up here. I hope to come over and visit soon.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 23, 2020:

Thank you Chrish, you make great points. I appreciate your time.

manatita44 from london on October 23, 2020:

Great to read your work again. So many bi-polars out there!! Life! let us see out the year in the hands of Love and stay blessed. - Lantern

Chrish Canosa from Manila Philippines on October 22, 2020:

When I saw my self messed up

" Welcome to adolescence " I'd say

The ups and downs may sound common to normal people

You've addressed them very well in this article. This mental illness destroys to common people instead of telling them whats wrong and right

Tell them clearly " I'm here " not just by words :-)

Thanks for the article ;-)

Have a great day and God bless

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 21, 2020:

Thanks Devika. It seems like more than just individuals but also changes of many sorts.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on October 21, 2020:

Eric lots to know here and we are humans and can only tolerate that much.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 20, 2020:

Linda the degrees seem to be all over the place. And the difference between situational and biology. Would be brutal to figure out.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 20, 2020:

Demas it is very unusual. We use the term "rapid cycling" but normally that takes months.

Perhaps the mania is more akin to anxiety. They know about a 20% about the disease I understand. I certainly am no doctor.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on October 19, 2020:

You've raised some good points in this article. The ups and downs of life can be difficult for many people, though they are harder or more severe for some people or at some times than others.

Demas W Jasper from Today's America and The World Beyond on October 19, 2020:

Timing the action and the inaction, the optimism and the reality, are the challenges bipolarites have in front of them every day. To imagine your friend's swings during each day is a new one to me. that would surely be a challenge for anyone, and he could make a little cash for his manic days by writing a book about how he does it.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

There I was Linda. Shorts only. A grin from ear to ear. I heard the scuffles of the coppers just outside. I dove to my right and rolled to my left under the bed. If they caught me like this it would be the happy Sing Sing.

I like short short flash. But fiction?

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

Mary as always you are a breath of fresh air. Those down days can be great days. I do like a sidewalk caf'e. I savor in the fun and then bring it back to the screen on not so good days.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

Demas I have a good friend who calls. He is a "rapid cycler" first thing in the morning manic as hell, midday depressed and supper time alright. He has been at it 20 years and is successful to the world and God. This guy is a pilot of life.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on October 19, 2020:

Oh Eric! You make my heart sing (and leap and snort and chuckle). You are one of those who keeps my world spinning in a happy direction. Thank you for your friendship. You are priceless.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

Linda that is what I am that talking about. It is a big old crazy world. I like it. I say Eric? Eric? People love that guy? I can dig a twenty foot deep hole. And someone will put down a thirty foot ladder. I consider you such a friend..

Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on October 19, 2020:

Saturday was my high day when I went to a museum with friends, had lunch, and even stretched the day with some of them to a dinner at a Mexican restaurant. That was one sunny day. After that, rain and darkness. Time to watch funny and uplifting movies to raise the spirit up.

Demas W Jasper from Today's America and The World Beyond on October 19, 2020:

The first step each day for a person who is bipolar is to check which kind of a day this one will be, and then act accordingly. Depending on the answer, it may (1) be a day to get a lot done with the cash reserves locked down, or (2) a day to read a book of jokes, and devour the comic strip "Peanuts". I always enjoy your "sermons", so much so that I may invent a character "Sir Mohns".

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on October 19, 2020:

Eric, I have spent time in the deepest depths, with an ache so bad it hurt to take a breath. But I am surrounded by people who love me. Sometimes I think they are the ones who are insane, but they always manage to pull me out and boost me up.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

Bill thank you for reminding me just how large I was in my 20"s. And how I forgot I was in my forties until my fifties.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

Thanks Pamela. It is an amazing area of study. Our bodies are so complex. The more I look at things the more I think it must be something that holds us together that is larger than us.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

John generally speaking we let it loose as soon as it happens. Sometimes our home gets a bit loud. But I firmly believe stuffing it shortens your life.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on October 19, 2020:

Thank you Flourish for you comment. People who have to any high level. Really have to work to stay even.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on October 19, 2020:

Ten foot tall and bulletproof, I might add. Boy have those days gone by, but they are fun to look at in the rearview mirror, eh?

Me? Depressed? Oh hell yea, I say, and I'll be darned if inspiration and creativity didn't rise from those ashes.

Thank the gods, I say!

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on October 19, 2020:

I think the feelings you described are pretty normal for most of us. The people with bi-polar that I have known do quite well when they take their medicine regularly, but as you said sometimes getting the right dosage can be tricky.

Yes, love is the thing that always makes us feel better. I hope you have a blessed week, Eric.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on October 18, 2020:

Yes, we all have feelings, Eric. Some of us can share them willingly, get advice, or comfort, or be criticised, and move on. Others bottle them up until they can't hold them in any longer.. and explode, causing havoc all around them. You are probably right that we all have a little bi-polar in us.

FlourishAnyway from USA on October 18, 2020:

We all have ups and downs. Some are able to exert more control over the fluctuations they experience, and theIr peaks and valleys may be much more dramatic. I have an aunt who is bipolar.