I am a self-love and true fulfillment enthusiast and want to make people aware of these ultimate necessities for a happy life.
What do we actually mean by self-love?
Sometimes people get confused between selfishness and self-love usually thinking both alike. However, the topic of self-love is totally different, much broader, and deeper. In fact, self-love makes you more loving and caring contrary to being self-centered. It can be compared more to self-respect than selfishness.
‘Self-love’ as the name suggests means to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are gracefully and completely. And by accepting yourself you become able to accept those around you better.
Have you ever wondered why some people are able to be happy wherever they go and whoever they meet while some others struggle to get on with new people or cope with any change in their environment? If you think it has something to do with their looks or their social status then know that even the twins with the same looks and status may be the poles apart-one highly active and extrovert and another introvert and passive. Actually, if you closely observe and pay attention, a person who attracts love and acceptance from everywhere is the one who gives themselves more value and they have some kind of air about them. It is not because people love them that makes them self-approving but the reverse, they are self-accepting and have learned to stay happy with themselves. This makes people curious to know more about them and about their source of happiness. They in fact tend to spread happiness wherever they go which further draws people to them.
Just opposite to that, there are those other people who tend to be loners and frustrated thinking that other people are better than them or are special in some way; there is something wrong with their life; they are not valued or enough. Is there actually something wrong with those people? No, not at all! Rather they are also equally deserving of all respect and love. The things that are keeping them from attaining that happy status, are their own inner struggles and limitations that they have imposed on themselves unknowingly due to some false beliefs or ideas they have picked up from their surroundings over time. So, can it be changed? The answer is yes. the way is to reverse the wrong patterns of thinking and habits through self-reflection and conscious changes in habits.
Magic of Self-love
Once you learn to love yourself and put yourself first, all your hesitation, irritation, and frustration are gone and you start enjoying your life more. You become a totally different person who enjoys every moment of their life. Not only this, your presence itself becomes a source of inspiration and happiness for others. By cultivating self-love your are able to extend that unconditional love to others without expecting it back as there is no more longing for outside love as your source of happiness lies within you. And the magical part is you start attracting the outside love more.
How Can You Love Yourself? (Self-love Routine)
Well, self-love cannot be developed overnight but some time and effort are needed which definitely start showing subtle results even in the beginning.
Self-love is not very complicated. It is the same type of love that we give to others or expect from others, which includes some crucial factors such as care, respect, nurturing, admiration and some loving gestures. A basic self-love routine includes some of the things discussed hereinafter.
Starting with your self-care routine, the very first thing you can do is to go to the mirror have a good look at your reflection, and give yourself the compliment, “You are awesome and you certainly make a difference in this world”.
Make it a routine in the morning to express your love and admiration to yourself such as giving yourself some loving compliments, I love myself, I am proud of myself, I am enough, I am proud of all the amazing skills I have, or any little thing or feature you can appreciate yourself for. Starting your day with a self-love quote can also be a great idea. In addition, at various times whenever you do something great, give yourself heartfelt compliments, even if others don’t give you any, it doesn’t matter. Know that the most important person from whom you need validation is you. A compliment like "that was awesome girl/boy!” and feeling proud over little achievements can really make a difference not only in your day but also in your sense of self-worth.
Positive self-love affirmations
Affirmations are also effective means of reprograming your thoughts. Affirmations are the statements that are constantly and repeatedly told to oneself until they are fed into the subconscious mind- the part of our mind that is responsible for our habits and beliefs.
You can search on YouTube the videos for self-love affirmations and listen to them daily preferably sitting or lying down in a relaxed position with your eyes closed and feeling the meaning behind each word. The ideal times can be waking up in the morning or before going to sleep or any time you feel comfortable during the day.
Alternatively, you can write down some good affirmations in your journal and keep repeating two or three of them throughout the day until they become a part of you, for instance,
'I am loved'
'I am worthy'
'I am beautiful'
'I always stay happy'
'I am cheerful'
'I spread happiness and love wherever I go'
'I am enough the way I am'
'I am open to learning'
'I am a great artist( you can fill any quality)'
For best results these affirmations are spoken slowly and repeatedly like savoring each word with an intention to feed them in your subconscious mind.
Self-care creates a feeling of self-worth in you. Further, if you have responsibility of taking care of others, it is crucial first that you take care of your own physical and mental well being.
Self-care is an imperative part of the self-love routine and it increases your self-worth to a great extent. Self-care can include some of the following things:
- Have a good sleep and a nap during the day if needed.
- Eat healthy and on time, and show respect to your body. Don’t start working immediately after having food. Allow your body some time and energy to digest the food- at least half an hour if the ideal one hour is not possible.
- Avoid or cut down on anything that leads to bodily suffering or diseases, for instance, unhealthy eating habits.
- Set up an exercise or workout routine which can be as simple as taking a small walk in the garden or in the corridor.
- It is also important that you don’t overwork or fatigue yourself. Whatever work you do, do it as per your limit.
- Nurture and pamper yourself. It can also be a way to show special care for yourself. This can be achieved by providing one special service to yourself every day or at least once or twice a week. It can be some skincare practice, cleansing, messaging, getting properly dressed, going out with friends, buying yourself something, or any similar small gesture of love for yourself.
It is necessary for a sound mental health in today's time. It means spending some time by yourself so as to reflect over your achievements or your needs, setting goals for yourself or simply relaxing your mind, letting go of anything cluttering your mind.
Meditation can help in self-reflection and having some peaceful time with yourself. If you find it difficult to meditate for some reason, spending some time in nature can also be beneficial. It is great to have plants in your surrounding if you cannot have a full-fledged garden or park for your privilege. Yet another way of self-reflection and decluttering your mind is journaling that is writing down what you feel and the achievements or things for which you are grateful. Journaling has been found to improve one's mental health to a great extent.
Pursuing your hobbies
There is no better way to feel that inner joy than to follow your hobbies or doing things that you love. They are also an effective tool for growing self-love, even if practiced for as little as five minutes a day. Your hobbies help you to express yourself.
These creative expressions maybe anything such as gardening, painting, drawing, knitting, writing, singing, dancing, swimming, playing some sport or reading or exploring useful information on social media or just sharing your experiences on social media sites. Have some fun time during the day.
So, are you ready for your self-care journey? I really hope that this article proves helpful for you to achieve your happiness goals.
I would wrap up saying that nobody is more or less deserving. It is just the difference of perception. And change starts when we set an intention to start it. Do consider loving yourself because you matter.
Any comments from you are welcome.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Jas Kailey