I enjoy exploring the unknown and the boundaries of love and life.
Anyone can be loud. But when it comes to living with a man in your house, be it your husband, boyfriend, or brother, sometimes the increase in noise level is undeniable. From slamming cabinets shut to grunting, walking (stomping), talking, and moving things around the home, men are simply loud. While some may be conscious of their contributions to ambient noise in the household, others might not be. So, if your significant other is driving you mad, find out why they are so loud and how you can help them to tone it down a level.
1. Hearing Loss - Get His Hearing Checked
One of the most overlooked issues when it comes to someone being loud or noisy is hearing. Much of the time we blame their loud nature on their sheer size - they are big humans, clumsy, unaware, or maybe they simply want to establish “presence” and get noticed. It is not uncommon, however, for adults to lose their hearing as they age. They simply don’t know how loud they are.
Maybe your man is a musician and is frequently around drums and amplifiers...well, it’s time to get his hearing checked. Maybe hearing loss runs in his family? Same concept. Make sure when you get him in for his next annual check-up or appointment that you talk to the doctor about ordering a hearing test. Rule hearing loss out before approaching your guy about his noisy “behaviors.”
2. He’s a Big Human
Size is important to take into account when it comes to noise. Maybe you’re average height for a woman 5’4” and he’s 6 feet and upwards. To add to that, he might be muscular, bulky, big, thick, whatever you want to call it. Maybe he has big hands and you have a low ceiling, small cabinets, or creeky floorboards in your home. Take a look at the space you live in and decide what it would be like to grow a foot and gain 50 pounds and try to operate in that space. Now do you get it?
If size and space are issues, consider being sympathetic. Talk to your guy nicely about how loud he is but also explain that you understand - offer to help him by putting pads on the cabinets and move some furniture around to open up the space. Make it more comfortable for him.
3. He’s a Dude
Some guys simply just like to burp, fart, grunt, and basically exaggerate every human action. When he drinks his water, he may sigh or grunt. When he farts, he makes sure you hear it and thinks it’s funny. When he burps, he does it with finesse like it’s a competition. While these habits reflect poor manners, maybe he doesn’t realize how much it bothers you. Talk to him about it. Tell him that it bothers you and it’s not something you appreciate in the house. Any respectful partner should hear you out. And if he doesn’t, play his game and deliver it back. Actions sometimes speak louder than words.
4. He Wants to Get Noticed
Yeah, some guys may not be all that mature when it comes down to it. If they have unresolved issues or were catered to when they were younger, they may be vying for your attention. For example, maybe he stubs his toe and reacts with a dramatic “Owww!” when you know it really wasn’t all that bad. Or, maybe he wakes up each morning and does an exceedingly loud yawn with an equally exaggerated stretch. Some guys just like to establish a presence...and they do this by being loud and making noise. Consider acknowledging him for a moment, otherwise, plug in the earbuds.
5. Poor Manners and Lack of Self-Awareness
Some people just have poor manners and lack self-awareness. This might be the case with your husband or boyfriend, and it’s worth having a chat with them about it. While it would be cruel to record them doing the behavior and to later show it to them, you might want to consider making a point. When someone isn’t aware of something, it’s unfair to assume that they should know better. If you have to have a conversation with them about their lack of manners or loudness, approach them with love. When you offer constructive criticism to someone it can leave them feeling vulnerable or attacked, so approach them with kindness and understanding.
6. You Have Misophonia
Does the sound of him eating drive you crazy? If you hate the sounding of slurping, smacking, and chewing, you may have misophonia. Misophonia is an actual medical term used to diagnose people who are psychologically or emotionally triggered by sounds. Their reactions to sounds are not typical, but they often experience extreme anger, rage, or the sensation to flee when they hear their trigger sound(s). If you experience such a reaction to the sound of someone eating or smacking gum, poor manners aside, consider checking in with your doctor or a therapist.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2020 Brynn B Lewis