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What a good wife does for her husband

Dr. Dawn Michael is a relationship expert in private practice in Thousand Oaks California. She is a published author and public speaker.


What does it mean to be a good wife to your husband?

How do you determine what a good wife is?

What exactly is a good wife to her husband, you may be surprised to find out what it really means. There are so many misconceptions about the roles in a marriage. You may think that this is an article about being a good wife, but maybe there is more to it, so read forward and don't forget to take the poll to see if you are a good wife?


What a good wife does for her husband

This article is written for the women who are good wives and for the husbands that love and appreciate them for it. This is also written for those of us who are struggling in our marriage and need some answers.

What makes a good wife and what does a good wife do for her husband? Many husbands would like to know the answer to this question. We see those sweet older couples who have been married for 50 years that still hold hands, sneak in kisses and look at each other with love in their eyes, and the secret to their happiness is this ......

The woman choose the right man for her. A woman must chose the right man for her. A man that she accepts for who he is and does not want to change. She has passion for him, he is her best friend, she respects him, and understands his values.

This is the right way to start off a great marriage together. All of these elements need to be in place, because if one is not then that is exactly what will be at the root of the problem in a marriage. What a good wife does for her husband is to choose him well to begin with and here are the main ingredients of a happy marriage and notice I didn't put love in that category, we will get to that later.

When we look at these choices we can begin to look at our own marriage and find out some of the area's that need help.

The truth of the matter is that many of us are married to a spouse that we have problems with, some ot theses problems stem from the fact that we did not choose the right partner to begin with in all areas. Once we can find out which area is not working in the relationship then we can begin to accept that part of our spouse. Remember you made the choice to marry them for who they are and begin to focus on the positive rather than the negative part of that person.


Women can not change their husbands

Women cannot change their husbands, and they have to accept them for who they are. When a woman marries a man and then tries to change him, she is not accepting him for who he is and this is going to be hurtful to him.

A man can change certain things about himself if he wants to and a woman can be a guide to him in a positive way, but she cannot change him.

A good wife will understand this and finds ways to encourage her husband and let him change on his own as the relationship grows. If certain behaves bother her than they can work on it together. But she cannot change another person's core values or beliefs or who they are.

Your answer will help!



Desire your man

Show your husband that you still desire him.

This is a big one for married couples; women!!! Do not marry a man that you are not attracted to nor have any chemistry with. This will only lead to disaster in the bedroom! This is not a good choice for a husband this is a friend!

You do not have to have sex with someone to know if there is chemistry and passion, if it is there you will feel it.

There has to be a spark not fireworks but at least a spark, something to light. Passion can grow in a marriage and make the relationship all that much stronger. A good wife will want to be intimate with her spouse because she will understand that a man needs to have sex with his wife for a deep connection and she desires him. Men connect through sex with the women that they love and a good wife knows this. Men that are unable to have regular sex with their wives become bitter and angry toward their spouse. Sex is suppose to be fun, and if it not work on it together to make it more exciting.

My Husband Wont Have Sex With Me



Friendship with your spouse

A good wife will find a man that she can laugh with and have fun with. Friendship in a marriage is so important and this includes good communication with one another. A good friendship and communication go together because that is what good friends do; they talk to each other and say what is on their mind.

They feel comfortable in opening up about their feelings and are safe to explore all areas of their life with that person. Friendship in a marriage is crucial, not only do you want to have passion in a marriage but you want your spouse to be your friend, and you want to like each other.

A good wife will know that she may be the one to initiate conversation many times, as typically (but not always) women are better at verbal skills then men and can come up with great ideas and conversations. Many times a husband who loves his wife because she is a good wife will let her bend his ear for a while if she needs to.



Have respect for him as a man

The reason I put down as a man is because a good wife will know how to treat her husband like a man.

Men need their wives to be supportive of them, they cherish how their wife see's them and when a good wife see's her husband as her man, it will give him the confidence to go about his day knowing that he has his wife's support. Many times in a marriage a man will learn to become dependent in a good way on his wife and she has the ability to love and support him and lift him up, or to nag, put him down and break his spirit.

A good wife will know that her husband is sensitive about her honoring him as a man. A good wife will also let her husband know that she loves him by kissing him, hugging him, holding his hand, and making him chicken soup when he is sick, because we all know when a man is sick he loves to be pampered.

Both men and woman can answer

Understanding Values

This can be a bit tricky so before you get married it is import to discuss religion, and core values with your spouse to be.

Married couples that have different values and religious views have to come to an understanding before marriage. When two people have different religious views and then have children this will become an issue if it has not been resolved before the couple has children. It can create a distance in the marriage.

The same goes for core values, such as political views, how to raise children, and how to spend and save money these are all important issues in marriage. A good wife will try and chose a husband that has similar values to hers and if he does not then they will come to an agreement to agree to disagree on certain topics.



Growing In Love Together

The one part that I left out of the chosing process is the word "love" and that is because love is just that "a word" and when a couples marries they will love each other as new lovers do, but the true test of love is in the growing together in the marriage, and that is the sweetest part of a good marriage is the love that grows with it.

So what a good wife does for her husband is to chose him well.

What do you think being a good wife is all about?

Miserable Hubby on January 09, 2019:

We've been married since 1990. My wife and I were madly in love. Thirteen years ago, we had our only child. He is a wonderful boy! After the birth of our child my wife turned ALL of her love and attention to our son. The intimacy and support I once cherished with her disappeared. She informed me one night when we were engaged in "relations" about four years after he was born that she hated sex and never wanted to have sex again. She told me I could have sex with other women, but she didn't want to know about it and they had to be from out of town. I was devastated. I wanted her!

About the same time frame she quit encouraging me and turned into a constant nag and and a mean put-down artist. I thought she would come around. After many months, it became clear that my sweet, wonderful wife didn't exist anymore and would likely never return to her former self. And, I must add she was not having an affair and neither was I. She just seemed as though she couldn't love more than one person at a time. Resentment built-up in me. I went from a man who busted his rear to become very successful to someone who no longer cared. I set-up and funded an inheritance trust for my son and then I resigned my position as top executive with a major company I had started in our city. She wasn't happy about it, but what she thought didn't matter much to me anymore. I didn't opt for a divorce because I wanted to be there for my son as a father every day of his life. I love him so much. I haven't heard a supportive word from my formerly sweet wife in probably for 8 or 9 years now. I now limit my income production to part-time consulting to earn just enough to pay household bills. That's how resentful I am of her constant put-downs and flat out meanness. I could easily earn well into the six figures if I feel motivated ever again. My son has a wealthy trust he will inherit one day, though, so he will have no worries. In addition, I have slowly been spending down the substantial retirement funds I built up over the years. I should add that we have zero debt, so I don't have debt worries. My plan is to divorce my now mean wife in five years soon after my son goes off to college. My mean wife will be left with one-half of: a paid-for house, some land, two older vehicles and a once hefty retirement fund, which will be virtually zero'd out. After the divorce, I will relaunch several highly profitable businesses I closed down and I'm going to have a wonderful time in the process. Ladies, if you mistreat your husband you'll likely demotivate him, which only hurts you in the long run. A loved husband who has intimacy, is supported, encouraged and treated well, will practically work himself to death to financially support you and the household. Treat him badly, cut him off of intimacy, and the opposite very well could occur.

The Truth on July 25, 2018:

LOL for many of us good single men to find a good wife these days.

tizita amerga on April 03, 2015:

as women i understand being good wife means try to understand and try make up with your husband.try to help him every aspect of his matters at the very end and try to build friendship in your marriage that build in strong bond with out secretes. try to show his entire self by showing yours self and try to find out what makes him happy and UN happy.and try to make up....

cloudlee lm on April 26, 2014:

love him, take care of him and trust him

abraham-harrison-94 on March 31, 2014:

@love-jones: I thank GOD for that above statement because it gives wives a practical outline of their role on how to minister to their husband and on how the husband can know how to appreciate his wife for the things his wife does for him. Also, wives need to know she has the ability to shift her husband to the next level in his husbandship, fatherhood and manhood based on her positive influence in his life lead by the Holyghost!

SimonJay on January 06, 2014:

Id say Loving, supportive, caring, faithful, passionate and compromises.

Dawn Michael (author) from Thousand Oaks on December 19, 2013:

@love-jones: As well as her husband, thank you for the comment!

love-jones on December 19, 2013:

Loving, supportive, caring, motivational, dedicated, faithful, inspiring, submissive, honorable, great qualities, respectable, a friend, a helper, a partner, humble, virtuous, kind, happy, loyal, cooks, manages the home, slow-tempered, considerate.

A wife is more than just staying in the bedroom. She is all of the above too.

love-jones on December 19, 2013:

A good wife .......cooks, cleans, nourishes her husband and (children).

Supports her better half, without nagging him or putting him down. A good wife loves her faithful and obeys bible principles...she is virtuous , classy. ...but still sexy...and is God fearing. A good wife leans on her husband for security, and is submissive to his choices in life as head of the family....a good wife never scorns or disrespects him (vice versa). A good wife makes sure the home is supplied with all, clothing, other things needed. A good wife prays for her husband and asks God to protect him.

A good wife cares for her husband, but also gives him space ( every one need a break). A good wife plans for her husband (vacation or other outings for the family). A good wife keeps her relations private between she and her husband. A good wife works to help her husband (prn), but never tries to overaccomplish him by being the head of the home.....or bragging about how much money she makes/versus his salary...she never belittles him..

A good wife pushes her husband and motivates him telling him what he can do.......not what he can't....a good wife supports her husband by reminding him of things around the home,(I call this support).

She is a partner, a lover, a friend, a caregiver, and a wife.

A GOOD WIFE never curses or calls her better half names...she soothes him, comfort him with kind words and appreciate what he does for her. She is not haughty ,but humble , she appreciates the small things and thanks him accordingly. A good wife is quiet,,but never a pushover ...she speaks her mind at ease...and addresses anything out of the ordinary with respect.

A good wife never overspend MONEY on unnecessary things, she gets what the family needs,,And alternates on the wants when needed. A good wife prioritizes her time with the right motives .....manages her home, job, husband, children,

SHE flirts with her husband and does what it takes to make him happy. She respects his in-laws even if they don't respect her....(kill them with kindness). A good wife smiles when her husband enters the room ....she barely frowns or hates to take care of home.....

I wrote this article maybe to encourage someone out there. So ladies if you have a good man at home, please take these words into consideration, bc good men come 1 in a 100.

God will bless your home. ....accordingly.

A happily married wife of 19 years, with a career, and kids.


seodress on July 05, 2013:

Very informative resource for a better relation.

anonymous on April 03, 2013:


bluelily lm on March 15, 2013:

My wife loves me immensely and I feel top of the world when she just around me cuddling, hugging and kissing me softly.

anonymous on February 26, 2013:

A good sensible wife would be the one whose first priority would be her husband but would not be a doormat. Sadly I've tried the first bit but wasn't sensible enough to not be stomped over. 4 years later and standing up for myself caused me a month of not talking to him.still confused on what to do.i might have lost any respect for him since he left me during my most vulnerable time.though I still have my humour since I'm actually googling on good wife's and husbands. Lol me lmao.

anonymous on January 17, 2013:

what a solution to a heart-rending-problem; but, do you think having a flirt back into your life might just be the solution to having your ex back? walking away and diappearing into the thin air with another might just mean he wasn't for you.

more so, i think for all i know, there can be only one solution to every of man's problem, including yours - JESUS. consultation of powers outside HIM might just mean staking your life for no just course to your detriment.

anonymous on January 15, 2013:

My personal opinion on this one... You are obviously not quite right in your head... lady if he was the right man for you he would have staid in the first place he would not have left you just because you accused him of seeing another girl he would have just smiled at you and left you to your own assumptions. Going to a witch doctor to fix a relationship well that is just wrong lets say he finds out what then where does that leave you? trying to build a marriage based on a lie doe you honestly think that it will work? for how long do you think it will last till he opens his eyes? NEVER forget no matter how good you are or how hard you try the TRUTH always comes out one way or the other sooner or later. and do you think he will stay after knowing what you did? answers only you can answer. Painful is it not...

Have a wonderful day

CristianStan on January 11, 2013:

A good wife loves her husband, and is willing to do anything to make him happy

anonymous on January 08, 2013:

@anonymous: I truly feel sorry for you if this is how u feel

anonymous on January 08, 2013:

@anonymous: I am in the same situation but my husband is the one that cooks cleans and takes care of our six yr old. I feel guilty and selfish but i work in health care and my hours are long. That doesn'tmean i love my job more. Sometimes i wish he would understand that in struggling to find a healthy balance. Tell your husband how you feel and try coming to a compromise.

anonymous on January 08, 2013:

@dasip662: I disagree. I don't think you are jealous of your wife having a better paying job. Have you tried telling her how you feel? I think it's great how you support your wife and think she's being alittle selfish. Maybe she doesn't know what she's doing though. If you guy's love each other seek counseling if need be. Good luck to you both

anonymous on January 07, 2013:

@dasip662: I think that her having a more paying job than u bothers u n it shouldn't because life is a journey and ur doing it together.and that u still have guilt if she didn't want to be with u she wouldn't try by staying with you and also i believe tha t ur dwpressed .however it sounds like u know what to do but your chooseing not to see it .i know from my own personal life that if its not going to wrk its not going to wrk and also good family support is important if the marriage doesn't wrk n friends but not the poisionous ones.

dasip662 on October 29, 2012:

i have made mistakes so has my wife. i forgave her but i am not sure if she did before we got married. i cook clean of course do yard work. i love her and my daughter unconditionally. she does not seem to appreciate me. i am not perfect because i owe the irs and i have student loan debt. i have a solid job with the school district...she makes more than i so maybe she feels she should be with a man that makes more money...i am just puzzled...i moved to the west coast away from my family because she didn't like the east coast...i hardly ever visit my family...hopefully the next time i visit home it will not be a funeral. does anyone have good advice

anonymous on October 29, 2012:

my wife does not really seem to appreciate the small things i do...i am not perfect due to student loan debt and i also owe the irs...we have both made mistakes...i have forgiven her and tried to move on but i just don't think she has...honestly i think she is either seeing someone else, want to be single or just may wanna test the waters...we had a child early in college but our child is a 4.0 student and couldn't ask for a better kid. my wife is pretty and a great sexual partner but besides that fun days are not really consistent does anyone have similar marital problems. yes we have been to a therapist...i also move to the west coast away from my family to be with her...and i am hardly ever able to visit my own family i just think things are not always 50/50

anonymous on October 27, 2012:

I had been threw many bad relationships and so had my husband. I knew something was wrong and when my husband and I met we both said "our picker" was broken. So I must say all I have read is true here. Choosing who is right for you and good for you is the most important thing. But the others will be necessary too. We both thought couples who never fought were made up, we are proof that they are not! :)

anonymous on October 25, 2012:

i can not find my husband is just not fit for me by his looks. however we have a great chemistry. the problem is i care for him a lot... i just can't stop my self for being like that.. but day by day i am behaving like his mother..he is behaving like a child too... to get my care... but i want my hubby to be a man and not baby.... please help

Chritabo11 on October 21, 2012:

Supporting your husband. If he loves something, get behind it, even if you don't really enjoy it, it will mean the world to him!

anonymous on October 15, 2012:

I try be good wife, I cooking, cleaning, looking after children, and listen to Husband talk hours about job. But to him job is more important. This make my sad.

MichaelDubrovnik on October 13, 2012:

Good wife is always a good chef. Mine always cooks with love.

anonymous on October 12, 2012:

@anonymous: I am so happy that you have come to know the Lord. That is so exciting. God created marriage and He created you and your husband. He knows exactly what each of you both need. Pray together A lot. Pray for your husband every day, and ask God to show you how you can love your husband just the way he is. If there is something about him that is bothering you, then pray quietly to the Lord about it and then talk when it is a good time to talk (like after dinner when his tummy is full!) and openly and kindly share your concerns. and RESPECT him! That is huge. Especially when it comes to money! If you respect him then he will know that you love him.

anonymous on October 11, 2012:

When you ask God about this man prior to married, you will have chosen the correct one for you!

anonymous on October 09, 2012:

a good wife should be submissive to her husband n support him too.from today i will be a good wife please advise me more.

anonymous on October 08, 2012:

@anonymous: It's good you are aware of the wrong things you have done. The rest is easy. Apologize to him and stop doing those bad things. Begin to let him see the changes in your life style and things will work out well.

anonymous on October 06, 2012:

Husband's make their wives good or bad b'coz no women learns n come from their parents home,he is only person whom she trust after marriage n if he supports her she will be as good as she can, but he always thinks about other in family and not about her she wil become bad.

anonymous on October 01, 2012:

i feel a good wife is one..... who serves her husband like a truthful servant, who guides him like a trustworthy Minister, who pampers him and feeds him like a lovable mother, and who becomes his only whore in his bed, who protects him like a real soldier, who helps him like a real friend, and finally who can empathize like his own soul.

anonymous on September 30, 2012:

@anonymous: Thank you so much Brooke. Your input meant a lot. I will start doing that. I really hope it works. I will pray that god can give me the strength to keep my mouth shut and just walk away when being tempt to finish what he try's to start.

anonymous on September 29, 2012:

@anonymous: Simple answer and this will save your marriage actually will not only save but also will make it so beautiful that you will cry happy tears.

You said - he led you to God. Answer is - FOLLOW him and do everything as the God teaches in bible. I can tell you that without God will never marriage work or be happy. Our marriage was nightmare until we truly came to God and truly surrendered our lives to Him. Not only in our marriage miracles happened but also in our life in general.. I also will remind you that you are very blessed woman that your husband is close to God because if man don't have law in his heart then for that woman will be so difficult in the marriage, but when your husband is close to God - he then have somebody to give account about his actions, so God really blessed you to be honest. But when you say that you been a very bad wife for 30 years, then I will also tell you - past has to be buried. Just what you can do is to ask him forgiveness and let him know that you determined to change and that you are willing to learn and be better in the future. I also will suggest you to start going to church with him and start praying and learning from God about the purpose of the marriage in the first place. God bless you and your husband.

anonymous on September 27, 2012:

@anonymous: I know that it is easier said then done ,but sometimes we have to try not to listen to the nasty things said or done. If you know an argument is about to start just take a few deep breathes and let him know you are going to walk away because you don't want to argue. If possible maybe talk about this situation later without arguing. You can't feel bad about things he has said or done. I used to but I know that mean and hateful things are said when we are mad. I hope this helps a little.

anonymous on September 26, 2012:

I have been married 30 years and I have not been a good wife. I have disrespected him and taken money and dedication from him and given it to my mom and sister as they needed it. We are trying to save our marriage. He has led me to God and I so value him for that. But I have run him down so much over the 30 years, how do I try to fix this. How do I lift him up that he feels it and believes it?

anonymous on September 25, 2012:

Iam all for being a good wife. But it just seems to me when all is good he would do or say something to hurt me.then that's when I stop tring..when I react badly to his words it's led me to look and feel bad about myself.Which leaves me second guessing on if I did the right thing. Any clues to what I should do.?

anonymous on September 17, 2012:

Accepting him the way God gave him to you,love him,understand him and pamper him.

BESTnetwork on September 16, 2012:

@anonymous: what??

anonymous on September 03, 2012:

Loving n caring for you husband compltetly bonding withnhim mentally phsically and emotionaly bien his luver his friend and more

anonymous on July 26, 2012:

@anonymous: wow that sucks

anonymous on July 23, 2012:

The best wife is the non-existent one. Marriage, what a soul crushing experience. 25 years of chipping away at masculinty, drive and desire. She got what she worked so hard for. A husband who doesn't care if tomorrow comes, if we grow or prosper and sure as heck, doesn't want to touch her. Disgusting obligation to endure.

anonymous on July 16, 2012:

Love,respect,friendship and trust are some of the most important things .

anonymous on July 11, 2012:

@anonymous: CryingWolf,

Kevin is right; facebook and myspace are no big deal. We all need some "personal space" and if that is not possible in the physical world (a private office, man-cave, personal desk), cyberspace can be helpful. Personal space and privacy is a normal human desire. Honor that for your husband. Talk with him at a time when you are comfortable and without any tension. If he tells you facebook and myspace are nothing, believe him.

anonymous on July 11, 2012:

@anonymous: Eviary, None of us can possibly know what the dynamics of another person's relationship are nor what lessons he or she is learning. You can pray for them, pray that each grows in their relationship to each other and to God.

anonymous on July 11, 2012:

@anonymous: I love the way you express yourself! And if you add God in the mix (the One who provides the means as a meal ticket and the retirement plan) where the three are one (God, your good wife and your selfâthe loving husband), then you two grow together truly in Love.

What I learned through the Word and practice with my partner is what has been written here (and echoed in your missive): She accepts for who he is, has passion for him, he is her best friend, she respects him as a man, and understands his values.

Ladies! This is not an easy job and should not be taken lightly! In being a good wife you are responsible for loving, nurturing, supporting and learning from another human being. My help comes from the Lord: Chapter 13:4-8 in 1 Corinthians. It's the love chapter and a great guide to true love.

anonymous on July 02, 2012:

B with him & for him forever, no matter what

anonymous on June 27, 2012:

i think accepting and understanding is the major part&give him what he liks..don't fight with him talking about what he does not like.always be with him,never leave him ,especially when he is in trouble at-least hold his hand by saying i will be with you always....and also give him the most wonderful sex that he likes ..also meet all his requirements

anonymous on June 27, 2012:

Inderpreet i think LOVE,trust and understanding is MUST in wife as well husband

anonymous on June 24, 2012:

As a loving husband,I need support, understanding and a sense that we work on our lives and face all challenges together as one. I am not a meal ticket or your retirement plan. I can not right all the wrongs in your past life, I can only give you my love, my commitment to this relationship and my patience and understanding. Don't try to change me. I have strengths and weakness, I am not perfect. I will always try to be your knight in shining armor , but sometimes I can not complete the task. Know that I tried my best and feel bad I came up short. An appreciation of my efforts is all I ask. I will do better next time! I never want to disappoint you, but I will. I feel bad when I don"t meet your expectations, I need your encouragement, not your sarcasm. I will lead but I need to know you have my back. I am the head but you are the neck that turns the head! My favorite story is about the man and woman who after dating for some time, fell in love and got married. The wife set about trying to chane the things she didn't like in her husband. The husband tried to change to please his wife. There was progress but it was slow. After a few years, the wife told her husband she wanted a divorce. When the husband asked why, the wife answered "You"ve changed. You are not the same man I dated and fell in love with". I love it, when after a hard day at the office, I am met with a warm smile, a hug and a kiss. Seems to make all I went through today, worth it!

anonymous on June 13, 2012:

I think understanding is must in a good wife.

anonymous on June 01, 2012:

good wife is all about the love and respect trust and loyalty. understanding to her husband all the time. being his friends an all the time and never let him be alone in the times that hes in his side whatver happens.

anonymous on May 31, 2012:

@anonymous: No you are not doing the right thing. Unless of course you like emotional pain. You should file for a divorce because you will feel much better about yourself and your life. Be very careful if you still are having sex with him, because you never know what he might pas on to you that could affect you and any other man you may want to fall in love with. It could jeopardize a good relationship that may be in the near future for you. Seek legal advice quickly. It's obvious your husband does not love, honor and cherish you anymore. Sorry to have to tell you, but looks like it over between you and your husband...

anonymous on May 31, 2012:

being a good wife is all about love, respect, understanding the man u are involved with!but aah he may not understand all this. is this fair?

anonymous on May 31, 2012:

i have tried but i think i have failed. i think i have loved, cared, respected and done all i have to do as a good wife but my husband seems to be in his own you know he has a relationship that i have evidence to, this chic who calls herself "woman of class" keeps changing her fone number but i keep on landing on her but he still denies with all the evidence i have?i have come to accept it and keep damn!am i doing the right thing?

anonymous on May 31, 2012:

i have tried but i think i have failed. i think i have loved, cared, respected and done all i have to do as a good wife but my husband seems to be in his own you know he has a relationship that i have evidence to, this chic who calls herself "woman of class" keeps changing her fone number but i keep on landing on her but he still denies with all the evidence i have?i have come to accept it and keep damn!am i doing the right thing?

anonymous on May 30, 2012:

@anonymous: I have known couples like this and I remember that the wife's reason was because he wasn't loyal. He would do something in the heat of the moment which would hurt her in the long run. And his choice of friends were always the low life, drug addict types who did nothing but party. She loved her husband and he loved her to but he also loved to have a girl here and there on the side. What do you do with a man like this?

anonymous on May 30, 2012:

A good wife takes care of her husband from inside and outside.

Dawn Michael (author) from Thousand Oaks on May 29, 2012:

@anonymous: Respect is not given but earned even in a marriage and that respect starts with respecting oneself. The idea of a confident man is very much a turn on to a woman, confidence again comes from a person who believes in themselves.

anonymous on May 29, 2012:

@anonymous: I agree with you on that. But the man should stand up and act like a man and tell his wife that he makes the final decision as to who his friends are, not her. It kind of makes you wonder, who really makes the decisions in this type of relationship. Man or mouse?

anonymous on May 29, 2012:

@madnessmerritt: I understand how you cannot and will not break your vow. But what about his vow? to love, honor, cherish, and respect his wife, you! Where do those words fit in to his act of texting while you are trying to please him? Marriage is a sacred commitment to each other, not just a one sided act. Maybe you should stop trying to give him pleasure if he finds pleasure elsewhere such as texting. Besides! who is he texting while you are giving him pleasure?

anonymous on May 29, 2012:

@anonymous: Tee! when your husband goes out and acts foolishly, especially with another or other women, he is committing adultery. That is when it is time for you to realize that you have to end your marriage. Since you forgive and move on I guess your implying that you are still married. If this is the case, you must be very careful that you don't contact any out of marriage disease. That would really create a big problem. I suggest you give him a choice! come clean or get lost.

anonymous on May 26, 2012:

I agree with all of this, but what to do when you know of a couple where the woman treats the husband like a child. Like telling him who he can have as friends and such like that. I think that is showing complete disrespect and belittling him. Makes me think that she doesn't respect him as an adult.

madnessmerritt on May 25, 2012:

I love my husband very much, it's hard sometimes to fell undesired when he keeps texting when I am pleasuring him. I love him deeply and I can not and will not break my vow.

anonymous on May 24, 2012:

sometimes you are the best wife you can be. but then your husband goes out and act foolishly, like having extra marital affairs, sometimes ending up with a child outside of the marriage. this hurts a lot, you may choose to forgive and move on but he really never stop cheating. that breaks a good wife.

anonymous on May 08, 2012:

@anonymous: I am so sorry to hear that your husband hasn't really grown up. But you know! facebook is no big deal and neither is myspace. You should ask him why he does this thing of blocking you from facebook. Maybe he is not being very honest with you after all.

anonymous on May 05, 2012:

I have been a good wife. I have done everything possible to do the right thing. My husband and I were separated and got back together but, he blocked me off Facebook and he does not see anything wrong with this. I feel as he is keeping me away from his private life. This truly heart me deeply. I think there is no fixing us anymore.

anonymous on May 04, 2012:

a good wife is a good listener and companion...

she must always open her heart to his husband.

and let your communication always open to each other...

anonymous on April 18, 2012:

choosing in life is oft considered a luxury. life's ups and downs never guarantee happiness when making sure one chooses correctly. take having children for instance, do we get to choose their personalities? what about bosses and friends for that matter. many times we are placed with people who have hidden ideas as well as ideas that change which will make one blame themselves for a bad choice according to your model for a good marriage. Sacrifice is the key. No counselor can explain sacrifice better than having to care for the invisibly disabled.......those who have behavior patterns that were not apparent when the love connection evolved. Choice is a huge part but not even close to the most essential.

anonymous on April 13, 2012:

ya i would remember all about that

anonymous on April 12, 2012:

@tifebrown: "You are absolutely correct. I and my wife have had some really big fights to the point of separation but not divorce. We still love each other but have our differences, which I pray will be made perfect through our faith in God. This is my first marriage and her second. Our cultures are very different. She is from Peru and I am an American. I am the white blue eyed Caucasian she came to the USA to find. At least that's what she tells me, but it's all good with me so far in just our three years of being married. My lens was based on what I see in her for life."

anonymous on April 12, 2012:

@tifebrown: You are absolutely correct. I and my wife have had some really big fights to the point of separation but not divorce. We still love each other but have our differences, which I pray will be made perfect through our faith in God. This is my first marriage and her second. Our cultures are very different. She is from Peru and I am an American. I am the white blue eyed Caucasian she came to the USA to find. At least that's what she tells me, but it's all good with me so far in just our three years of being married. My lens was based on what I see in her for life.

Dawn Michael (author) from Thousand Oaks on April 11, 2012:

@tifebrown: Thank you for the comment, and good for you and your husband

tifebrown on April 11, 2012:

This is a good lens. It's unfortunate that it isn't common sense, because it should be. At least you are educating those in the dark about it. I agree with everything you said. I think the biggest key to success is really knowing the person you are marrying, and accepting one another for who you are. You have to hurt together, heal together, love together and grow together. My husband and I had some hard years but we stuck together through it all and are stronger than ever. I wake up every morning happy to be married to my best friend.

anonymous on April 05, 2012:

@anonymous: You possibly didn't read my comment very well. I am not a woman commenting on what a good wife is, I am a man commenting on my wife.

Dawn Michael (author) from Thousand Oaks on April 05, 2012:

Thank you for your comments!

Dawn Michael (author) from Thousand Oaks on April 05, 2012:

@anonymous: well put!

carolinarobin on April 04, 2012:

Love this lens!

RosemaryB on March 17, 2012:

A good wife is not a wife. She is a woman who is good to herself and her partner, in that order.

GOT LM on March 14, 2012:

Nice work! Please visit my lens too. :)

anonymous on March 01, 2012:

@anonymous: Not all women understand and know what you are saying here. Not all girls are raised to turn into these types of ladies and not all women are ladies. Also, there is nothing wrong with a man having lady friends either. Women need to secure their own egos rather than depending on a man to do so, and stop sweating the dumb stuff. If he wanted the other one, he wouldn't allow you to tell people that he is your man, or he wouldn't have shared his last name with you. That alone is a privilege.

anonymous on November 08, 2011:

A good wife is the woman a man married for LIFE. She accepts him for who he is, and does not try to change him into someone she wants him to be. She honors and respects him, but corrects him in her own soft special ways when he is wrong. (Every woman knows how this can be done) Gives him emotional and mental support. She is his best friend and lover. Knows how to converse with him in a friendly manner whether she is intellectually superior or inferior to him. She is willing, ready, and able to exchange moments of passion when the time or need become evident. Both must consider each other feelings and circumstantial surroundings when this happens. She must let him have friends too and time away from her for his friends, and I don't mean lady friends. She will always be his #1 if she gives him space. He must do the same for her. She needs to trust and believe him and be trustworthy herself. If she can do all these things, she will be loved, honored, respected, and cherished as if she were a very rare diamond; FOR LIFE. I as a man will never grow tired of my wife and would die for her if she would be honest, sincere, trusting, passionate, understanding, supportive, (emotionally) and loving physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. In this way two become as one.

mamamia2011 on July 01, 2011:

A good wife in my opinion is being there at his side through thick and thin.

akumar46 lm on May 19, 2011:

Mutual understanding and lots of love....and care.

magicgeniewishl on January 30, 2011:

I believe if you wake up every morning thinking "what is one thing I can do today to make my husbands / partners day easier or better" and implement it each day, that counts towards being a good wife.

Dawn Michael (author) from Thousand Oaks on January 29, 2011:

@NanaPoppins LM: Hi Nana, I agree with that and I feel the same. It seems to work best in a marriage. Thanks for the comment!

NanaPoppins LM on January 29, 2011:

Being a good wife means - being a supportive wife. My husband needs to be the man of the family, even though I was quite independent when we got married.. Over the years I have let go and let him take care of me. Its mutual and fulfilling!! It gives me the strength to take care of him :)

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