Cheating, Crying and Breakups
Let’s set the tone. You’re sitting in front of the television crying your eyes out over a really depressing movie. Your eyes are bloodshot, you’ve got your tissue paper and every time something really sappy comes onscreen, you scream at the TV that love should die and men should follow. About a day or two before, you found out some horrible devastating news…that the little bubble you have been in for the past couple of months (or years depending on the relationship) has all been a lie. Your boyfriend (ex) has been cheating on you left and right. What do you do? You get mad and wreck his new car ? (I don’t recommend doing this, legal reasons and such)…Revenge is most certainly sweet, but did that really make the hurt go away?
The betrayal is the hardest part to get over in a relationship. You either blame yourself for whatever insecurity you might have or you become this woman (or man) bent on the destruction of anything to do with the hated word Love. Now I don’t blame you. It’s ok to feel this way. It’s normal. Just don’t stay that way forever. Why? Well because you could end up projecting some seriously wrongful feelings on to the next perfectly available (non-cheating) male or female, especially when they have nothing to do with the previous evildoer.
Now, what can you do to at least try to get over a broken heart? That really cheesy and overused phrase “Time heals all wounds”, yea that does work in the long run, but we are looking for some more fast-acting solutions.
1. It’s over, realize it, and remember it.
Ok, so you’ve broken up and your 60 ft deep in your own tears. You are allowed to be sad. Just make sure you realize that there was a reason for the break-up and that trying to contact your ex is a very big no-no. Enjoy the good times but remember the bad (mainly the deception) and turn the page on that chapter in your life.
2. Get some ice cream and pig out.
Ok, don’t really get the ice cream (or do). Depends on how you handle sadness. Because that’s a lot of what you’re going to be feeling for a little while. If you have a good support system, you might get over the break up a little faster. I say go out and enjoy a beer if you’re a dude and a night out with the girls if you’re a chick. Getting your mind off your problems is always a good thing.
3. Communication with your ex? OFF LIMITS
Now I know you might feel these urges to speak to your ex. Don’t do it. You will undo most if not all the progress you have made. They contact you? You don’t answer. Now I know that not all cheating situations are the same and you might want to give your significant other another chance to prove themselves. That’s up to you. Remember, once a cheater always a cheater.
4. If this doesn't work….rebound.
I don’t recommend this unless the other person realizes that, yes they are a rebound and that you aren’t looking for real commitment. You have a good time and you go on your way. Or who knows you might meet someone that is a complete upgrade from your ex and fall in love again.
All you can really do to get over a break up is to remember why it happened and keep that in mind. Go out. Have fun. Bring friends. Leave that chapter in your life behind and begin to write a new one…So what are you doing screaming obscenities at the poor television? Get out there and MINGLE!
5. Find yourself again.
If you get anything from this article, the best thing you can really do for yourself to help you get over any type of breakup is finding yourself. Take the time you need to evaluate your feelings. Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to feel what you are feeling. Go through the motions for a little bit but always remember that you were someone before you had a partner. Sometimes being in a relationship can cause us to become part of a weird but enjoyable symbiotic relationship. We don't even realize it at times. When these relationships end, its hard to go back to being that fun loving, adventure seeking person that you were. Or you just don't know what to do with yourself anymore if you're not with someone. Take a step back and feel yourself out. Take the time to relearn who you are and hopefully, that leads you to a becoming a person that can help you move on.
Cheating and Relationships
© 2011 anunez49
Comments: Share your thoughts!
oldiesmusic from United States on February 20, 2014:
I do get some ice cream (or chocolate), hehehehe. Moving on takes a long, long, time and it's a very long process indeed (it took me six long years to really get out of the shadow of my first relationship with a cheater). I've learned a lot from it. If a man cheated on me, this time I want to be more firm in my decisions -- no more second chances for him. Thanks for posting.
anunez49 (author) from New York on July 01, 2011:
Lol thank you manthy for the nice comment and following as well!!!!
Mark from Alabama,USA on July 01, 2011:
Another great hub....Looks like you have got the hub bug!
anunez49 (author) from New York on July 01, 2011:
I love that you wrote this comment. It just goes to show that there is life beyond betrayal.To 0 find someone like your husband, a good, faithful, and generous man, just gives us more reason to move on from a passed failed relationship and look to the future with a strong ideal that everything will get better.
RosieG from Nerang Gold Coast Qld on July 01, 2011:
My first husband was a cheater, I always hoped he would change but he never did. I always tried to do my best in the marriage and look for the best in him. But as I grew stronger, the marriage finally broke up. When it broke up I had already grieved the loss. I metaphorically shook the dust from my feet and began a new life with my beautiful daughter. I have never looked back.
The things that helped me were looking clearly at myself, beginning to deal with life in a mature way and becoming tough in my love. I spent 7 years as single mum till I married my present husband. Who is a wonderful kind and generous man, faithful and committed. We have been married for 17 years and have twins a boy and a girl who are absolute joys. I don't regret my first marriage, I grew strong from it and gained my daughter. But I tell all my kids when looking for your life partner "Go for character first" Nothing else lasts, but a Man with a good character like the wife in Proverbs 31 is more precious than rubies.
Go for Character.