Enjoying a blissful marriage since 1985 with her former classmate in high school.
Marriage Should Be Sweeter As the Years Go By
A sweet couple is such a beautiful sight to behold especially when traces of age such as wrinkles and gray hair are already apparent. Growing old with the person you promised you will love and cherish till death do you part is truly a wonderful thing. But it is even more wonderful if the relationship becomes sweeter as the years go by.
How is the status of your marriage? Is the flame still burning or it has gone frozen cold?
Losing the Air of Romance
Sadly, there are those who are into a cold stage of marriage. After some years of saying "I do", many couples have lost the touch of sweetness in their relationship. The once "sugar and spice and all things nice" turned tasteless and dry. It is not that they have fallen out of love and are set to separate but rather they have unwittingly gone to the point of losing excitement for each other. There is no third party involved here, and the fact is that love is still there. But, the air of romance is nowhere to be found and the couple does not seem to notice or even mind at all.
Busyness Kills The Sweetness of Marriage
Busyness is actually the chief culprit. Busy is a dangerous word, it is a marriage killer. Even if you are busy in good things like performing your tasks as parents it is no excuse to neglect the romance and worse is if you hardly notice that this culprit has already put off the fire in your relationship.
Take the case of the Santos couple. Mrs. Santos, a stay-home mom does chores and serves her family as diligently as ever. Mr. Santos on the other hand works just as hard for the finances of the family. They are both committed in performing their respective roles in the family. At a glance, their life seems smooth-sailing and working well.
At home after a heavy day’s work, both are still busy with their own thing. The wife with preparing dinner while the husband with watching the evening news, or doing some take-home office job. So, when they are in bed they are already too tired and too sleepy to make love or even engage in sweet talk. They have forgotten that marriage is not just diligent performance of your respective duties in the family but it is also keeping the intimacy of their relationship.
Indeed, many couples become too busy to express love and thoughtfulness to each other. Even if the love is still there, they are no longer able to express this. It is as if their marriage is just being together in one roof and that's it. In fact, a lot of married couple find celebrating Valentine's Day or even their own wedding anniversary not at all necessary.
Many couples look okay but a deeper look into the real status of their marriage will reveal that it is almost "dead". And sadder still is the fact that they seem to be contented with this kind of setup. They seem to have forgotten that being married is not just being together in one roof, or sleeping in the same room and in one bed. The love that binds the couple must not be dormant. Love is an action word. It has to be expressed in every way possible.
Make the First Move To Ignite the Fire Anew
Many couples are into this kind of cold as dead relationship and yet they’ve been contented with this set-up and many made this last till death in fact. But this is not an ideal relationship. Getting married does not mean turning off the fire of romance. It is sad when a couple has forgotten to get into passionate hugging and kissing or even just plain whispers of sweet nothing.
Wives, are you happy with cold marriage? If not, then do the first move to start the fire burning again. Do something to bring back sweetness even if your husband does not seem to bother. Once you ignite the fire, chances are it will make him hot again. Find time to restore the romantic link between you and him and see how it will grow stronger day by day
Your husband may be physically present but if the air of romance between the two of you is no longer felt, then it is nothing different with being a widow or living without a husband. Being a mother is not a reason to set aside your obligation to you husband. You are a mother yes but you are also a wife. Taking care of your kids is one huge task but that is no excuse. If you only try to find time for him then you will find him reciprocating unless he is already busy with another woman.
How to Make Your Marriage Not Just Sweet But also Blissful
Bring back the sweetness and here is how:
- Be the first to show sweetness. In the morning before going out of bed,make it a daily habit to embrace your husband tightly. Make him feel you are thankful you have him. Kiss him and tell him how much you love him and how important he is to you. Give him tender strokes and caresses and make him feel you are so in love with him. Also don't forget to whisper to him the words "I love you". Learn the art of being sweet. Let your sweetness melt in your husband's mouth anew.
- Be beautiful, fresh, clean and fragrant for him every day. Make sure that once you come near your husband he will notice your beauty and freshness. This is why you are not suppose to exhaust yourself with the chores, find them to rest and do something to enhance your physical appearance. Also be fragrant. Most men are fascinated with fragrance. Make sure you are the most fragrant thing your husband will ever smell each day.
- Find a special time with him each day. Men are usually preoccupied with their own thing but who can resist a fresh-smelling woman? When your husband is watching TV, serve him with his favorite drink along with any finger food that he will enjoy. Sit beside him, hold his hand lovingly, enjoy the show with him and make him feel your sweet presence.
- Give him sweet hugs and kisses when you are at home . Kissing and caressing his arms are sweet gestures and he will mostly likely return the sweetness too. You can also give him some gentle back massage at night while he is watching TV. This will make him feel pampered and soon you will find him doing the same to you.
- Kiss him goodnight and find time to encourage intimate moment with him before you sleep. Never turn your back from your husband instead make your every night like a honeymoon night. Let him feel your warmth and your loving embrace. Light up your fire and let your husband catch that fire as well and see how you will enjoy every night together.
- Treat him like a King. Your husband deserves to be the King of your household because you are the Queen. God designed the husband to be the head of the family so his authority has to be respected. If you do, he will love and honor you.
- Be thoughtful. . During special occasions, buy him something that will make him feel special and well loved. If you don’t have the financial capacity, a handwritten love letter will always make a difference.
- Keep your mouth from nagging. Some women start the day nagging. It is a very bad habit. It is in fact most disliked by men so avoid nagging by all means. Indeed there are problems at home that can ruin your day but nagging won't help at all. You can always solve the issue without too much talking. Instead of nagging, just deal with the issue in a more tactful manner.
Do two more important things:
- First, pray for your husband. This is one thing most women forget. They are too busy and they could not even pray. God is powerful so there is power in praying. A praying woman becomes powerful then.
- Second, pray with your husband.. A praying couple makes a big difference. Do the first move so that the two of you could pray together before you go to sleep.
But before you do, please examine yourself first whether you really are in the right faith. Have you already recognized that you are a sinner and have repented and asked God’s forgiveness for your sinful condition? Have you already accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior because He gave His life to pay for your sins? Have you believed the truth that Jesus died for your sins but he did not remain dead because he conquered death so he rose again so that all those who believe in Him though they die will also live? If not, then do it today.
A godly husband makes a big difference! But make sure you are also a godly wife. Be a good example in everything so that you will become the living witness that will lead him to Christ. Let your good examples convince him that Christ is really alive in your life. A godly wife is a precious possession your husband will ever have and a godly husband is the best thing your heart will ever see.
Godly couples make sweet and blissful marriages that last till death. Start the first move today. God bless every one!
The Importance of Having God in your Marriage
There are two more things you have to do if you want God to bless your marriage.
- First, pray for your husband. This is one thing most women forget. They are too busy and they could not even pray. Delight in the Lord and see how He will give you the desire of your heart.
- Second, pray with your husband.. A praying couple makes a big difference! Do the first move so that the two of you could pray together before you go to sleep!
But before you do, please examine yourself first whether you really are in the right faith. Have you already recognized that you are a sinner and have repented and asked God’s forgiveness for your sinful condition? Have you already accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior for He gave His life to pay for your sins? Have you believed the truth that Jesus died for your sins but he did not remain dead because he conquered death so he rose again so that all those who believe in Him though they die will also live? If not, then do it today.
A godly husband makes a big difference! But make sure you are also a godly wife. Be a good example in everything so that you will become the living witness that will lead him to Christ. Let your good examples convince him that Christ is really alive in your life.
A godly wife is a precious possession your husband will ever have and a godly husband is the best thing your heart will ever see.
charity mtisi from Johannesburg on November 15, 2019:
Thanks, learnt a lot.
Being busy creates makes couple negligent of their duties to one another..
العالمية كلين from Saudi Arabia on December 15, 2016:
I value the post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Nova on May 26, 2015:
What an inspiring article!
carol on April 13, 2014:
Greenlily (author) from Philippines on January 09, 2014:
mia, yes you are right, that last part should never be missed. Thank you for reading my hub. Also many thanks to Josie Yu, Deborah and Nina. My God bless you.
mia on August 11, 2012:
i cried when i read the last part...that is the 2 secret ways why marriage last.. PRAYER..AMEN
nina on May 31, 2012:
Deborah on March 29, 2010:
Very good tips. I found this really helpful.
Josie Yu on March 16, 2010:
You've given me good idea! I need to act right now. Thanks!