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How to Seduce a Straight Guy in 8 Easy Steps


Lots of Straight Men Have Gay Fantasies

Seducing a straight guy is easier than you might think. Men are sexual beings, after all. With a little encouragement and the right circumstances, most men would experiment with the same sex. In fact, many men have, but as most gay men know, it's something they would never admit to.

The truth of the matter is, many straight guys do have gay fantasies, but that's all they remain, just fantasies. They would never have the courage to realize those fantasies on their own, and that's why YOU must play your part and help them!

You Can Do It! Getting a Straight Guy to Bat for Your Team

1) Take Charge: If you're a guy trying to seduce a man who identifies as heterosexual, it's important to know that no matter how open-minded the straight guy is, nothing will ever come of it unless YOU are in the driving seat.

2) Don't Push: Never be pushy, touchy-feely, or downright aggressive in your approach. Straight men have no concept of how the mind of a gay guy works. Be careful to skirt the subject matter, drop hints but never be direct about your wants.

3) Start with Camaraderie: If you're in a public place, such as a pub, and you see a straight man that you like, make a statement to them that you know will get a positive response. For example, when buying your drink, make a side comment like "If I wait any longer, I think I'll die of thirst." Say something that they will agree with and then introduce yourself.

4) Approach Him in Private: If you have made a recent friend who's straight and you think that you might have a chance, try to get him on his own. Men usually tend to be more responsive and open with their feelings when they're not part of the pack.

5) Stay Confident: To seduce a straight guy, you will need to boost your self-confidence. Practice on guys you aren't normally interested in. This way, there is no failure involved. What have you got to lose? Also don't forget the law of averages here—you have to succeed some of the time.

6) Be Vague about Your Own Orientation: When seducing a straight guy, the subject of sex will no doubt crop up. Men talk about sex all the time. If he doesn't bring it up, make sure YOU do. Always refer to your ex as your "ex-partner." What you're doing here is dropping hints. See if he does the same.

7) Bring up Sexuality. Scary, I know, but there are ways and means. Talk about your mate at work and his bizarre antics. Casually mention that this guy is gay, but that you don't have an issue with that kind of thing. Test his reaction. If it's positive, then you can explore the subject even more. Mention statistics and how you heard that many people are actually bisexual. Should he agree with you, then you have just seduced him! No straight man would ever agree with that statement unless they felt ready to experiment!

8) Take It Slow. No matter how confident you feel, never invite him back to yours on the first night. Swap telephone numbers/e-mail addresses and arrange to meet up. You don't want to scare him off.

To Conclude

The most important rules when seducing a straight guy (or anyone, in fact!) are: approach with confidence, respect boundaries, and never be afraid of rejection. Rejection is absolutely necessary if you are to ever have any success at seduction.

What's Your Experience?


yeets on September 09, 2020:


trey on June 13, 2020:

It worked on me

michael on February 20, 2020:

Unfortunately, for most straight guys any kind of SWM has labels, stigma, stereo types . That's the hardest thing for them to get past. I hates labels. I just think of myself as sexual. A encounter with a man doesnt change who you are.

myztyler7 on October 14, 2019:

so im a gay man and I have this problem with only being attracted to straight guys. I would like a guy whos gay but a man at the same time. anyway. I have this friend hes straight but weve hooked up a few times. he is now married to a woman, we have just recently been in touch again and he comes over and sleeps in my bed with me but nothing has happened yet. we have had conversations about the connection we used to have and hooking up but he says hes married now and takes that very seriously. and I respect that. he also says it was just a 3 year faze and hes straight again. but why is he sleeping in my bed and always making jokes about are past? im confused. anyone got anything for me?

PERCE-NEIGE on October 03, 2019:

Silly article. The author would have probably reported an article saying "Ladies, how to seduce a gay man, to make him not a gay man anymore". Talking about respect and acceptation?

Malvin Brayn on March 01, 2019:

I love straight muscular guys but do know how to even win one for myself...It really pains me...Any help from anyone?

kay thomas on February 19, 2019:

I love straight men, but i love keeping it cool with them, i am more into what makes them comfortable because knowing that they are not out yet are have them guys that get down with you but just want to keep it on the low.so once i meet them i take it slow to find them out.

D on February 05, 2019:

Awesome buddy of mine and I what talk about his sexual endeavors. I would get so damn horny it hurt. Finally after his divorce, he was so miserable, I finally had the balls to ask him if I could suck his dick. He politely said no that he was heterosexual.

Ashton on December 30, 2018:

Tbh I’ve never tried to seduce a straight man as I’m straight myself but I do have an open mind and was curious about this artical about experimenting with a gay guy.

Wahoosworld on December 24, 2018:

I confess. I have fantasies of being with a man. I almost did one day and, chickened out. I tried again later, but haven't had any luck. I am still up for it. I feel like I would love it. I just got to get past the first step. I never thought about, how much of a man it would take, to go for it.

Harry on November 25, 2018:

I’m a mature, and I like bears. We have many straight bears here, which I see on the road, and would like much to seduce. Well, I don’t dare. I feel sorry about them, they have tremendous butts, hairy chests, all of these. I use to call them burgers, and I say to myself “if I could eat that burger, or , so pitty this guy has his great ass only for the toilet. Someone tell him the male butt has a second usage too”. Also, I feel sorry for them. I know they have a miserable sexual life.

I think the key is to get the bear (or the guy), in private, and for much time. You can discuss like two men, and then ask the question “what do you do in your sexual life”.

After his answer, you can say “Women? Oh, so boring. My opinion is that women are just for making kids, and a family”. Look, I (and continue to slowly “convincing” him).

An other key, is not to be pushy, because you can scare him. He would thing that you are hungry, or a great queer, asking from as many men as you can. You can tell “Look, you always had homo fantasies, it’s true. Just think about when you were in high school. Wouldn’t you want to jirk off with an other guy in the locker room, and cum together? Yes, it’s true”.

Continuing, you can say “I know most of men just want to test this, but afraid to do so, I can teach you, I’m a great teacher on this”. You can also tell a story of your last LTR and how much you helped your mate. So, the guy would feel safe. You can say that you are an embraceable guy, very playful, and taking care of the other.

These, are some points that may help you to succeed in the seduction.

I wish, I could apply all these to myself, and seduce some straight bears. But as I said I was afraid of… or I couldn’t get them in private so I could “cook” the situation.

An other point, is that if you are a handsome twink, you can have success with straight bears, because they won’t afraid much of you (you are not an other bear).

But watch, not to get in bad guys, or kinky guys. You have to do some psychology, if you have to deal with a good heart guy.

jed625 on August 24, 2018:

I need to try it,I really want to hook up with some black studs i know.

Bill Desue on August 19, 2018:

Dats some bs.

Ceasar L.A. 1970s on August 09, 2018:

I looked and in all areas appeared to be straight , growing up in the club scene @ the age 15yrs old. i assumed most men i dated appeared to also looked straight too. I do believe we dealt with issues as teens the 70s, that has allowed this generation Roar. i met my love on June 12, 1982-thur, i believe at this point till he calls either one us home. fyi 37yr plus tax lic fees. we met and lived in the San Francisco bay area. it was very next they announced, a mysterious disease was making gay iil.God blessed our that very day. wow, a prayer for all the beautiful men lost.

ELi on July 16, 2018:

All I can say is: PATIENCE is the key.

ken on May 16, 2018:

Am from kenya,, i have tried but it has never worked.

Jules on May 13, 2018:

Carl, you’re the one

Mike on February 18, 2018:

Yes I have seduced several straight men. I'm friendly but not pushy or flamboyant. Straights like to bond with other men. Initially, I engage them as I would my best friend, I smile often, and offer any help. They love it and can't wait to see me again.

Ricky on December 20, 2017:

After my divorce, a lot of straight married men came on to me because I was sane, safe, respectable, etc. Later, I realized I was/am bi.

Martin on September 25, 2017:

I used to seduce a guy before. Yes, I got him but he's asking for money hahhaha however he's sweet and talkative like he knows what I want.

Just to provide his vipe. He's fine with that, he told me, I can do whatever I want.

danny teel on July 30, 2017:

great site. great info, works like a charm. not all the time but more often than not.

Carl on July 14, 2017:

Well hi there @Pedro.

Your kinda situation is more of a 50-50 probability. Either way could lead to either circumstances.

It could just be that he is playing hard to get or that he is trying to keep a distance so that those in his circles don't get suspicious.

What i have realized mostly is that, sexuality isn't one way as they say it to be (one that even you yourself have attested to). Humans are mostly fluid, but since we are always into following the ladder, we tend to cling more to the one which has got most people on.

(Just hope you get what i mean)

That being said, everyone has got two extremes of themselves. Whichever way you go is your choice. So those who are saying "Oh am straight" are just chosing and convincing themselves so.

Your being drank blurred the lines between the conscious and subconscious leading the both of you to do what you have subconsciously been dyeing to do.

So he might be gay...aaand he might not.? Either way, you cannot tell without probing.

To cut things short, what you do now would have to be your choice. Be prepared for whatever the outcome is and think it through before you act.

Go over the possible events that could happen; whether it'll go as expected or it'd take the unexpected turn.

Are you ready to put what you have to the test?

If so, then all I can say is good luck. Hope he is just being the hard to get type.

Hope this helps too :)

Brittany Martin from United States on July 10, 2017:

This comes off as extremely predatory...

pedro on June 26, 2017:

I considered myself straight , but recently I met a guy in a night club and we get drunk and we went to the bathroom together after we made pee I hugged him and grab and squeeze his and gave him a bite on his neck and he slight kissed me but , unfortunately the maintenance guy interrupted entering in the bathroom and we stopped what we were about to do. I did hang out three times with him already but he acts difficult with me but he accept my invitations like i pay his drinks etc, etc. do you think he is gay . He keeps telling me the he likes girls and I keep telling him that i like girls too but I want to explore and experiment with a guy for the very first time. Please, I need your advise I usually call him weekly . I am not sure if i should continue hanging out with him or I should forget him. Please I need your advise

Carl on June 10, 2017:

Hi Bennet and Lukey1157. Really glad I was able to help. Wish you all the best :)

Russell on February 11, 2017:

I have tried so many times to get seduduced and have tried to seduce guys with no luck.

I so want play but can't find guys to play.

I am married 50y/old very fit and a fun guy.

I mix with a lot of guys and want suck and be sucked.

I am considered good looking.

What can I do to be seduced or seduce?

Jamo on February 09, 2017:

I always get someone on the dating website but I wish I could seduce a guy in for real without going on a website, but I don't think I can't do that in a country that will lock u up for 14 years, a country like mine.

AN on January 29, 2017:

I wish a sexy guy would seduce me!

Kyle on January 16, 2017:

The poll indicates more have not even tried, than those who did or who failed at doing so.....Just try ;)

YYH 221 on December 14, 2016:

Same!!! I sit next to my best friend crush in school. I've tried dropping hints here and there but I don't think he got them. He keeps flirting with me but his friends tell me he is straight.

Bruu on November 08, 2016:

Arggh, I have a crush on my best friend and he is always flirting with me but it seems like a joke. My friends think he is Bi I really don't know

Jeans on November 02, 2016:

What is the easiest way to separate a guy from his "pack"?

Panda on October 21, 2016:

I have this friend that I've had a crush on,and I was wondering if the steps would work cause today I asked if he was gay and he just playfully pushed me away, if these steps don't work can some recommend something My Kik is deme50

p.s. looking for love

Swami on October 06, 2016:

I liked this article very much

YYZ 2112 on October 01, 2016:

Mine was bittersweet.. For over a year I befriended my straight crush and we always joked around about doing each other. One night after lots of drinking, he asked if I would spit or swallow - I drunkenly admitted that I would swallow for him but no one else, and he said that turned him on. Sure enough, we slept together twice, but when I tried the third time he said he didn't feel right because he was straight and he blamed it on the alcohol (even though he told me it was the best sex he ever had) We never hung out again. I really miss him - not just cuz he was super hot, but he really was a good friend.

Albert on September 18, 2016:

I'm bi, but I love this guy emotionally, not sexually, ever since we became friends, I started to have gay feelings for him, cause this is the first time I ever had emotional feelings for a male. idk if he is straight or gay. But he is Catholic and I'm scared his parents will disapproved if this will work out (after I use your steps).Please kindly answer this

Bobby from Buffalo, NY on September 15, 2016:

I'm straight but I have a fantasy of being with a man. Not just sexually. Like going away for a weekend together and being in public holding hands, kissing, etc. I guess it's more than a fantasy. I would actually do it with the right guy.

mjd on September 09, 2016:

I have a straight friend,and he keep on touching me like he likes me , but I don't knw that he's interested in me, am scared that if I start to make a move he'll tell everyone that am gay

Homer the Great on August 21, 2016:

I am a straight bloke who wants to be chatted to by a gay bloke who might flirt with me..I do not register any signs or subtle references thus... aaarrgghh! Help..

gaysince90 on August 18, 2016:

im gay, a girl tried the same with me, it was about to work, but im so gay...

Bryce on August 09, 2016:

Bryce Dan I'm ready

Haris on August 06, 2016:

I actually have a straight friend and i had done all of the things i wanted to do with him.

jay on August 02, 2016:

Hi ave read yur ideas and am impressed lookin forward to more

Bennet on July 18, 2016:

Carl, thank you sooooooo very much. I have a boyfriend! He said it's cool with having me touch him at night and he even said that he loves me! Aaaaahhh! But, we both still identify as straight. B-)

Lukey1157 on July 08, 2016:

Hi carl thanks i will invite him round soon but i need to know what to say can you help me

michael on July 08, 2016:

I keep trying these steps but the only guys I'm seducing r the wrong ones :(

Lukey1157 on July 08, 2016:

Hi carl thanks can you help me what i should say to him at the sleepover cause i hope to ask him

Bennet on June 30, 2016:

Carl, in your previous message (before the response to Lukey1157), were you referring to me?

Carl on June 26, 2016:

Hi some teenager, but what is it that you really want with him: relationship or a hit and run romance? To be frank, there are many of us who dream of such an event happening, and, as they say, Opportunity comes but once. So i'll say if you are considering for a relationship, then, you better start taking steps to ensuring that before you lose even this. (Since he identifies as straight)

Swaggy on June 26, 2016:

I am bi, and i have a friend who i want to have fun with, i am planning on asking him to a sleepover then having fun but i need help on the exact words of what to say can someone help me p.s he is straight??

flawless on June 25, 2016:

I like this dude at work and I been with straight men before, but he make me nerves

Blue Eyed on May 25, 2016:

Attracting a straight guy for a gay guy can be little challenging.But once he`s able to do this,it can be very rewarding! Straight guys are delicious! Believe me,if a guy is very beautiful than a straight guy can`t resist him.I`ve seen it.All you need is little confidence and a charming smile.

ElI on May 17, 2016:

I don't know what if I mess this up for us I've trusted him since second grade I look up to him as a brother and I might mess this up where he'll not be my frien EVER

Me on May 11, 2016:

I have a 'friend' who I told 'I love you'. He gave me thirty minutes of 'all the reasons it won't work, including he's straight'...followed by...'you're right about one thing, I 'do' love you'... We've been together ever since...

Brian from Northern Michigan Reed City on May 05, 2016:

Kevin Son. If this person is your dad, that would be considered a big no no. I would leave him alone, he may be drunk when you approach him, but if he is sober enough to know what you are doing, you might really piss him off, and he may never forgive you. Or worse.

Some Teenager on May 02, 2016:

It's been a while. Anyway, so last week… something happened. My friend Stella was throwing a party. It wasn't a typical high school rager. Nothing too much, just a pretty big group of friends. So both my crush and I were invited. And basically I didn't have to make any moves. So basically we were in a hallway together, and he pushed me against a wall and started making out with me. I liked it, but it was just so random that I hesitated and said 'wyd…' . Then we sat down on a pretty nice couch (shoutout to Stella's furniture

jamadeus on March 11, 2016:

to be honest with ya; some teenager, you should just continue the playfulness. next time you guys gather or you two are alone, try kissing him. if he doesn't hesitate and kisses back, then keep it going. your desire of a make out session should happen. be warned, this could be dangerous. but seeing as though he already kissed you willingly and has told you he wanted to kiss you, you should be fine. hell, maybe you can even get a little bit more action if you're up for it ;). respond once you've done this! thanks.

superkan on January 15, 2016:

Well, there was this friend of mine who i had a crush on in junior high. Actually i would say that it was his fault that the crush developed because i quiet remember that about two weeks or more after i was transfered there, he became close to me telling me that if i had been a girl, he sure would have made a move on me. He always liked to treat me like a girl, always kind and making moves on me and also playing make-out games in class with me(that was the only place we could possibly see each other). So after we graduated, i finally got the courage to message him on facebook about my feelings for him and his replies were of a total freak out. He was so insisting that i was gay while i tried convincing him that i was a bi. So in the end, i sadly told him that all was a joke and since then he hasn't chat regularly with me. I so got him totally wrong.

Scott on December 31, 2015:

I noticed another article on this page entitled "How to pick up straight men at the Gym." Interestingly, yet another article on this page is titled "Why do straight men feel awkward around gay men?" I have no clue.

valkyrie on December 05, 2015:

am sry dude , no hard feelings

valkyrie on December 05, 2015:

jonnycomelately, will u just shut up & stop interfereing & giving unnecessory advice to other people? mind u'r own business & this kind of behavior is totally repulsive!

goodbye, wishing u luck!

Kelli on November 09, 2015:

This really does sound predatory. Does anyone here see that this could be used to denigrate the gay community? The person is straight. What part of straight do you not get? It sounds like rape steps.

Anonymous on September 22, 2015:

I need this guy Anthony to like me I think he is straight but he is exactly like me I like football but wouldn't prefer it and I've been dreaming about him over and over non stop I just want him to fuck me or at least kiss me can I get some straight guy to let me know how to grab him and get him with me but he's like way out of my league I'm short and he is like a whole foot taller than me and he is SO hot like every time he looks at me I cum a lil but he doesn't seem in to me but I just want one night with him can some one help me

kyo on September 18, 2015:

hahaha, funny. me, i did try to seduce a man. sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesnt work. what i did to a man that i like is ask him any questions. talk to to him and invite him into swimming.

afterall, they invited me to go to some bar and have some drinks. then i got drunk then he takes advantages of me. he is like saying something in my ear to the fact that i dont understands his words. next thing i knew, he's kissing me already in my neck and ear and that brought me into wildness.

jonnycomelately on August 12, 2015:

This might sound old-fashioned but I say this to all of you.

Stop playing around with sex at your very young stage of life. Get on with learning to live amongst your mates and friends without viewing them according to whether they are hot or not.

You have young life, young brains, lots of energy. You want and need lots of fun.

Learn the basics of life, how to mix with and respect other people.

Learn to look after your self.

Learn to cook your self a good healthy and nourishing meal.

Learn to write and speak well in your native language so you can express yourself well and communicate your desires and feelings.

Learn basic arithmetic so you can defend your pocket against those who want to cheat you.

All these things you need to learn before you are 18 years old.

After that you will find a lot more joy in having a beautiful friendship and really sharing love with the girl or guy that you gel with.

This is not saying you are bad for thinking as you do now. Just saying there is much more for you to experience in your life if you want it.

But if you DO want it you will need some good sense and control of yourself. No one else can do that for you.

From an old man that cares.

Ryan on August 12, 2015:

And all this time i thought being gay wasnt a choice

Spiffycool on August 03, 2015:

I have a straight friend. That is what he said, he is twin and his twin brother is gay. He know that I am BI. One night we where together and I ask him if it is ok if I just cuddle with him. He said no, and will keep his now. We talked about sex before and we are still the same as before. But I still want to try it again but in a different way. Any idea beside the options above?

Ejjj on August 03, 2015:

Let me see

jonnycomelately on July 31, 2015:

Anonymous, you are correct to differential between love and lust....but I don't feel we need to denigrate "Lust." It is just one part of our natural biological makeup, one of the factors that may lead to pairing.

However, to give Lust freedom to control and direct our lives is not a helpful or happy thing. It can lead to all manner of disappointments.

Better to hold a few good principles in you life that give you sound advice and deter you from making a fool of yourself.

One principle that you might be happy to hold for your life: it takes two persons to give full consent for anything sexual and intimate. If either partner feels against it, for what ever reason, it just is not worth the energy and bother to force a sexual relationship without the other person's full consent and agreement. You might easily end up hating yourself and the other person.

Anonymous on July 30, 2015:

Pieter, you're not in love, you're in lust. Besides, there are a lot of things that could be causing your friend to act the way he is. Regardless, it's not your problem. Stop wasting your time with someone who's not going to reciprocate your feelings, and go find someone who will.

Pieter on July 29, 2015:

My friend is straight. we had 5 awesome play dates. then he changed completely. 5 months later same thing. he admitted he was bi. told me he loved me. then he stopped being my close best friend but just a friend (more like acquaintance), got aggravated for no reason, keeping his distance, making excuses and not showing any form of caring for me in any way. when we drive some where he will say something like, "I wish you had breasts or I love you bro. I am open with him lately and following these rules. he will still get me to do anything to please him as long as sex is not involved. but his body language shows something else. am I stupid to love him or is there someone with advice on handling this.

Anonymous on July 14, 2015:

As a straight, I’ve had many gay friends in the past, and the reason I don’t anymore is because of the blatant hypocrisy of the gay community. The community as a whole plays being gay off as a biological thing that no one can choose, and yet, gays in general try to continually play with the idea that being gay or straight is really a sliding scale, or guess what, a choice. Which contradicts your entire premise about being born gay.

Worse, you want others to respect your lifestyle; however, you constantly disrespect others. That is, you don’t or won’t respect the fact that open-minded people who are willing to be tolerant and/or be your friends don’t want to be converted. Nevertheless, you constantly go after straights rather than only picking up people in your community with excuses such as our community’s too small. As if it would be acceptable for a straight guy to try and convert a goldstar lesbian.

The most disgusting part, articles like this and the rest of them on the Internet unashamedly espouse the idea of ignoring your friends’ right to choose and simply raping them instead. I.e. just get him alone and drunk enough to where he’s about to pass out and viola; you can take advantage of him. Or spike his drink and viola. Or hug him until he gets used to you touching him, get him alone, talk about sex, maybe show him some straight porn, make sure to drink A LOT, and when he’s drunk, horny, and about to pass out, pounce on him.

Needless to say, by any legal definition, you all are committing predatory sex crimes and should look at what you’re doing. Still, it seems like this is spun to be a positive in the gay community. Because, after all, you’re simply giving him your gift. Men are always looking for sex, so it’s okay, or he’s so deeply in the closet, you’re only helping him see what he really is. (Like that’s your decision to decide what’s best for another person. But hey, however you can rationalize your predilections.) It’s freaking disgusting that you want others to be respectful of your lifestyle choices, but you can’t and won’t do the same for others.

You wonder why straight people have a fear of gay men, but with articles like this, it’s no wonder straight men are suspicious of you, especially with the way you try to shame others into accepting you rather than being upfront about what you want. That is, you don’t have the balls to say I’m interested in you. Instead, you try to groom and take advantage of people. Plus, if someone says, I’m not gay or interested. The retort is, geez, not all gay men are attracted to you. Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we’re trying to check you out. Yet, by the very nature of being gay, it means you’re attracted to men and want to see them naked. The hypocrisy and deviance of the community are truly nauseating.

And before you give me this shite about it not being all gays, you’re ALL on a board about trying to get with your straight friends with tons of comments. So, it may not be all gays but enough to make what I’m saying true.

Kelly on May 11, 2015:

Why do gay men think they can seduce a straight guy but freak out if a woman tries to seduce them .maybe your afraid you might like it. No because your gay gay gay .like I'm straight straight straight it's all I think about women 24 /7 just find a gay man who you care about and be happy

Alex on May 10, 2015:

Yes, i agree. How do seduce this guy whos tough loves women but still a virgin. Like he tough. Dumb lol, adventourus, and etc

jonnycomelately on May 05, 2015:

xyoey123, I fully understand where you are coming from, and warm to that emotion. I know those feelings so, so well!

It's all good man. You sound like you have your head and your heart in the right place.

If that truth you speak of is coming from your heart, then you will know the right moment to tell him all of this.... if it really is right to.

I would say, "if I were you...." but that would be sermonising you, and inappropriate.

So, sum up for yourself all that you feel, all that you think he needs from you, then maybe --- ask him. Ask him if he's got any feelings that are confusing him. Does he feel totally hetero? Does he like a bit of fun with a guy? How does he feel about you? You are going to have to work it out using your best instincts. I know what you are probably feeling; will these questions send him packing, and cause the friendship between you to break? From what you have said, I doubt it -- but hell! It's hard one!

Again.... wishing you well.

xyoey123 on May 05, 2015:

You're right about lust!

I lust for him all the time. I want to feel his gorgeous body but I have never touched him.

Although my desire is physical, I think I love him emotionally too!

But we have a different kind of bond

I am much older to be his friend

He respects me and asks me for advice and I love to help him out

Which is why I am so conflicted- It would break our bond

But I really want him- Should I tell him the truth?

jonnycomelately on May 05, 2015:

PS: this is only my opinion of course, a bit old fashioned you might think, and you are free to throw it out if you please. But sometimes I need to speak my truth.

Wishing you well.

jonnycomelately on May 05, 2015:

@ xyoey123 What you are feeling is Lust. Lust usually has no concern for the welfare of the other person. It is selfish, period.

You sort out your own desires.... they are your total responsibility.

If you are really responsible, you will first and foremost consider what is best for that young man. You might question him on what are his real and immediate needs in life. You could ask him about his hopes, his ambitions, how things are going for him. Seek to help in that way, and put your own lust aside at least until you have served his needs before your own.

I am not saying "don't desire." Desire is a normal and natural emotion for most humans, as it is for all the other animal species of this world.

But as humans, we are gifted with brains with which to understand and to modify our basic instincts. Considering the needs of others before our own is what makes our society "civilised."

Stand up and be a man who can be respected.

xyoey123 on May 05, 2015:

I am 49 yrs old Bi/Gay man. I know this really sexy good looking muscular young guy who is 22. I meet him at the gym regularly & he is straight. He likes to talk to me about regular stuff , sometimes his school problems. I give him advice. I really want to have sex with him. I think he knows I'm gay.Should I make a move? I am conflicted, he is so cute and innocent!

Jerker on April 17, 2015:

I'm so felt so scared when i try that!Im straight but curious.

jack67 on April 06, 2015:

Okay thank you I suppose the worst that could happen is that he doesn't want to do it!

nickf on April 05, 2015:

Hi Jack,

The only way you will know is if you take it another step forward.He might be a virgin.That would be good.Some guys come over as all 'rugged' but in an instant you know whether they are a taker or giver.

As to you being 'scared',what can he do? Punch you? 'Out' you? Maybe fuck you? It's all O.K..It doesn't matter,you are you.

I just found out a guy I had an enormous crush on and I thought was as straight as the day is long,has a boyfriend.


jonnycomelately on April 03, 2015:

"How to seduce a straight guy?"

"Why, Hulloooo Sweedy!" (Said seductively, you know what I mean, lol!)

But seriously. Kevin, you say you are not gay, or bi... right? That is absolutely fine. I don't question you on that or judge you for it. I am not qualified or entitled to do so. I don't think anyone else is either. YOU, with all your faculties about you, all your inbuilt sense of what is right for you and him, are in control and able to make full judgment of yourself and your actions.

A few questions you can ask your self:

Am I imposing my self on this other guy against his wishes?

Is he trying to impose him self upon me, against MY wishes?

Is everything we are doing together enjoyable? Or do either of us feel dirty, or bad, or guilty about anything we do?

Is it inherently "bad" to have fun and enjoy ourselves?

Is anyone else getting hurt by what we are doing? Is it necessary for us to lie to others about what we are doing? What effect, if any, is our lying to others having upon their lives?

If there is any feeling of guilt, does this in itself have a negative impact upon our lives in relation to others?

You see, regardless of the sexual activity or any fun that ANYONE gets up to, whether it be hetero-, homo-, bi-, trans-, cross-dressing, whatever.....it needs to be addressed in regard to how it affects others.

If the "other" party or parties who might be drawn into the deceit are oblivious to what is going on then they have no control over it. Then every responsibility falls on your shoulders.

It all, in my estimation, falls down upon your own responsibilities and choices. If you give away the judgment for some one else to make, then you can't shoulder the judgment and you must suffer the consequences.

If you take all the responsibility upon yourself and act accordingly, then you will grow in stature as an adult.

Just my personal understanding of your situation...... wishing you well.

Aaron on April 02, 2015:

Oh yes these are all straight men yeah

PB on March 30, 2015:

I'm straight but if a guy tried this with me he'd have me in bed in no time.

thatguyjames96@mail.com on March 27, 2015:

Hello guys its me James again haha looking to meet guys who are in the same boat as me and would like to hook up if you know what i mean ;)

james on March 26, 2015:

Is this a south african page?

whythehate58@gmail.com on March 26, 2015:

guys iam straight but would like to hook up just once with another straight guy. Email me if anyone is interested

james on March 26, 2015:

Hello guys i like two of my best friends and i get hints but iam to scared to follow through plz some one email me and help me

jonnycomelately on March 21, 2015:

Hi Viruss. Have you had good experiences that are worth remembering and that left you feeling great? With both guys and gals? Which do you prefer?

Viruss on March 21, 2015:

Hello. I'm bi 20 from Ph.

Gian on March 14, 2015:

Im sorry if I've written too much info.. I was just too confused of what is happening with me and my friend.. thanks for your opinion..

jonnycomelately on March 09, 2015:

Gian, what you are writing here is just not appropriate for public discussion here.

There are ways of discussion this subject while keeping it reasonable and acceptable.

This is only my opinion, others might differ of course.

Gian on March 07, 2015:

Hi.. its me again... it happened 3 times again after my last post on this thread.. I think he wants to suck me too.. cause while I was sucking him he played with my c*ck too.. and we were not drunk during that time... I also think that he wants me to f*ck him... cause I tried to prod my hard d*ck on his back and he did not stop me.. I want to talk to him about what he really wants... but whenever I try he just ignores me..

jonnycomelately on March 01, 2015:

Wow, this has been such a hugely successful Hub. Well done, jamadeus!

I am in a similar situation, since I see so many awesome straight guys around. Usually afraid to open the subject with them, but just occasionally I score something like a full body massage with them. They like my touch, too!

Mark on February 22, 2015:

I have a straight guy friend and we're actually close. He sometimes comes to my house to drink or smoke up. I really thought of having sex with him out of curiosity. He's a triathlete and I think he's hot. I just don't have the courage to ask him before but when I read this article, I think it's a push this time. The problem is I think he's starting to fall for me. We hang out a lot more than he goes out with his girlfriend. 7 days a week we would usually be together. I think I like him but I can't imagine falling for him too without more positive signs that he likes me too.

michael on February 19, 2015:

I had a friend of mine which is now my boyfriend was completely hot and cute.

one day, while we were walking along the side walk with john(cousin,also gay), john saw

gay is a lie on February 16, 2015:

I was going to use these steps but now after when I saw this comment from gay is a lie but now I am stping bieng gay I am never going there again the lord will punish you for this I will stop now In the name of jesus in the holy fathers name may. You all stop bieng gay it ia adultry and the bible saya do not commite adultry with other men and you shall be punished

Willy-Wonka on February 14, 2015:

I have this friend at school. He transferred about 3 years ago and on his first day I started to talk to him a little bit and we became friend. I now class him as a best friend but I don't know whether he does. Before, he said he'd share a place with me when we're older and stuff and when we're in the same classes he talks and sit by me and gets disappointed if I don't see a seat by him and sit somewhere else. He always looks me in the eyes and jokes around with me but then my interfering friend got involved and told him that a guy liked him and because he doesn't know her well, he just replied saying he liked girls but I really think that something else is going on but he's too nervous to say anything because his friends are a macho bunch of dicks. When she told him a guy liked him, he guessed me straight away but she said it wasn't and then since then, he barely answers me on Facebook and although I try to tease-flirt, he doesn't answer or even look at my messages.. Should I act clueless and ask if there's anything wrong between us when we're alone together or if he's sick of me etc.? It's really hard because I love him and know how well we go together because we like all the same things but he just doesn't seem to realise it and it breaks my heart because I know how well we could be together. I help him with everything I can to try and get him on my side but he just thanks me and doesn't try to do anything else. If he would answer me, I would ask him to go to the park or something on a nice day and just tell him that I think I like him but I think that'll ruin any chances I have of being a friend with him. I've like him and gotten over him 3 times and everytime I fall back in love with him, it's stronger and the urges get worse and the come-downs are terrible from it. Should I tell him? How can I get him? Someone with a little more experience please help!

Gian on February 12, 2015:

again its me.. i just got confused if he is also gay or not.. we talked earlier and out of the topic he asked me if I know how to make love potions.. I said "no.. why?" then he just said "uhm nothing" then he changed the topic...

is he thinking that i'm using love potions on him.. does that mean he is feeling something for me too.. he is acting strange lately.. I'm just too afraid to ask him about it..

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