PARENT HOOD BLUES
Keep the woman in the house happy and your life will be happy. But it is not the same other way and it is not the same other side i.e., keep the men happy women’s life would be happy.
Parenthood is special and gifted happening, for both men and women. When the kid arrives the relationship between man and woman alters a bit. Women think that it is completely their domain to look after the child and men should not enter their area. Men think that even they should get involved in the evolution of the child. But the women’s authoritative and possessive notions tend to push the men to take a step back and let women to take control of the proceedings. In this confusion, the relationship tends to take a beat.
The reason for this is also the fact that very few couples are prepared for the challenges to be faced at the early stages of parenthood. It is not easy. Many think that they are capable of managing both the roles of being a mother and spouse. But the inability to successfully manage will tend to made them frustrated and their relationship will be stressed. It is in these times that one of the two should give a thought to the relationship. As women are fully focused on the kid, it would be men who have to think about it and take remedial steps. Men have to start giving her some attention and put her in front of everything. Things will definitely start changing toward better.
Sometimes one thinks that this is not fair. But think of it in this way. Women carry the kid in their wombs for nine months and grow a stronger bond with the kid than men, who are only outside viewers. So it is natural that when the kid appears physically, the mom will feel greater responsibility for the kid and gives all her attention and care towards the child. But the bond between man and woman is also to be looked after. In this scenario it is but only the man’s duty to take charge of it and nourish it. Mom nourishes the kind and let the dad nourish the relationship. Thus nobody feels neglected and everything is taken care of.
It is just common for both man and woman to struggle to adjust to the new roles they have to play and decide exactly how much time to be devoted to which role. Naturally it is woman’s tendency to give first priority to the child as to the reason brought out earlier. And it is for man to understand this and be flexible in his thought and acceptance of the situation. What he can do is to get himself involved in the background and see that the woman is comfortable in her new role as mother – nourishing mother and subtly make her know what he is doing. By this, he can send the message that he is caring for both of them and also the woman can also sense what is happening and can try to balance the scale.
There is nothing they have to do out of content or out of scope. Everything the man does in his attempt to woo the woman again and to make her feel wanted and important, he shall be doing so as well for himself, as much for woman. There is no need for him have the feeling that he is doing something abnormal. It is normally done in majority of the relationships. After all these, when they are out of this period and sit back and look past, they both will be proud of the things they did in order to save the relationship.
The turbulent phase will be a passing one. It is not permanent. It has to and will, at some time, pass away. And then you will look at back and feel the triumphant feeling for having to come out it without any damage. And yet, at these times you will count on some moral support from external forces and whether you will get or not, it is your responsibility to scale the mountain and if you get it, we all know, it will be much easier to surmount the peak.