I enjoy exploring the unknown and the boundaries of love and life.
What do you do if your boyfriend has bad hygiene? You certainly don't want to hurt his feelings. Consider these tips to get him to change his ways once and for all. It doesn’t have to be a fight if you go about talking to him with compassion, a little love, and a strong plan. Knowing his communication style is key.
Long-term relationships require good communication, so the most mature thing you can do is talk to him about it. If you can’t talk to your partner about serious things, think about the long-term and your future together as a pair - are you really a good match if you can’t talk about the big things?
1. Talk to Him About It
Your boyfriend has bad hygiene...it’s true that this is a touchy subject, so don’t be mean or harsh. If your boyfriend’s communication style is bunt, then speak to him bluntly, problem solved. If your boyfriend does not take direct communication well, then be nice and easy with him. Explain to him that you love him but you have different expectations around hygiene. If you word your expectations as a preference and just a condition of your raising, he might not take it as offensive as flat out telling him he smells bad and so forth.
Also, it’s important to emphasize how happy it would make you if he put more effort into his grooming, like showering, beard grooming, private areas, applying deodorant, or washing his clothes more frequently so he smells better.
2. Come Up With a Plan to Make It Easier on Him
Changing habits can be really hard, especially personal habits. Consider coming up with a plan together that he can act on. Why would you want to work on a plan together? He knows his habits and generally can agree to what he can stick with, but you offer an outside perspective and offer new ideas. Sometimes changing habits can be fun.
For example, you can be intimate in new places, like the shower - consider taking a bath together. Purchase the body wash and soap he likes and put it in the shower. Keep a laundry basket and detergent in the house for easy use. Get him in the routine of showering first thing. Suggest 5 minutes in the morning - it’s quick and a good way to start the day. Make sure you also encourage him to brush his teeth morning and night. It doesn’t take very long - remind him how quickly he can get it done. You could even buy him an electronic toothbrush to help him to do a deeper cleaning on his teeth.
If he needs help with hygiene and appearance, buy him appropriate face wash, especially if he has sensitive skin or acne. Consider encouraging him to see a dermatologist if necessary - some cases of acne require diagnosis and treatment. If your preferences have to do with facial hair, buy him a nice shaver and encourage him to keep his beard or facial hair short and groomed. Keeping it groomed when it’s short is way more easily managed rather than attempting to clean it up when it’s long.
3. What If He Resists, Now What?
So, your boyfriend has bad hygiene and you’ve tried to talk to him about it in all kinds of ways but he gets offended or fights you. Know that new habits take a lot of time to implement, so consider being patient. If you’ve tried everything and you’ve been patient, ask yourself if you can really go on living with him if he hasn’t made any progress - is this something you truly want?
If you’ve decided you can’t live like this and his hygiene really bothers you, maybe it’s time to split up. You likely tried and gave it your all, and maybe he did too. Hygiene is very important especially when it comes to compatibility. Don’t feel bad about it either - people say love is blind, but if you had bad hygiene, you might be dumped as well. You two will find someone more compatible with your likes and dislikes, that’s the way love and life goes.
Hygiene Also Includes Keeping the Living Space Clean
How to Talk to Your Boyfriend About Difficult Things
As mentioned above, make sure that you approach your boyfriend with respect and care. He might not be aware of the fact that his hygiene is not similar to yours. Maybe he was raised differently, grew up differently, and so on and so forth. You can't judge him for that. If you truly love him, you will find a way to make it work and he will make it work for you too.
Hygiene, even though it is important, isn't the end of the world. You can find a solution by talking to him about your expectations. He then needs to decide what is reasonable in your day to day life. Some things are easy to implement and he might even end up liking. People enjoy feeling good, and this can be said for people who adopt a new routine when it comes to daily self-care.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2020 Brynn B Lewis
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 26, 2020:
"Consider these tips to get him to change his ways once and for all." Or you might consider the fact he's not "the one" for you!
Generally people don't change unless (they) are unhappy.
Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
Most people want to be loved and accepted for who (they) are.
Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.
There is no need for you to take on any "projects".
There are over 7 Billion other people who inhabit this planet!
You're entitled to have your own boundaries and "deal breakers".
No one is "stuck" with anyone! Suffering is optional.