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How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
Find out how to make a long-distance relationship work with these awesome ten tips. Whether you have been together for a month or several years, there are certain things you can do to keep your significant other's attention. Learn how to keep them happy, how you can stay happy, and how to keep the relationship healthy.
1. Determine How Often You Should Talk
One of the most important aspects of a happy relationship is communication. Communication in a long-distance relationship can be challenging, but thanks to technology and social media, it’s never been easier. First things first, talk to your partner to figure out for how long you want to talk to each other and when. Do you two like to talk and text daily or only talk on the phone a couple of times per week for an hour or so? Determine the ideal “talk time” for your busy work schedules and week so that both of your needs are met. Maybe you prefer to video chat once a week and text throughout. With all the options, decide what suits you two best and stick to it.
2. Set Ground Rules
You two need to be on the same page when it comes to your relationship. For example, did you two both agree on being exclusive, or are you into an open relationship and okay with each other going out on dates with other people? Before you take the leap and go the distance, literally, make sure you have established your expectations. If you two are not on the same page about your status, someone is bound to get hurt.
3. Learn to Have Fun Without Him
Part of long-distance relationship success is establishing an identity of your own. Maybe you just went off to college or perhaps you just moved across the country. No matter what, you need to engage in new and fun activities without your boyfriend or significant other. This will give you two things to talk about. You may very well share the same hobby but you should continue to enjoy it independently. You may even want to send him photos or videos of your new skill or hobby. Having a life outside of the relationship keeps things interesting.
4. Do Things Together
Just because you two are physically apart doesn’t mean you can’t do things together. Think about it - with all the available technology these days, consider watching a movie together while on video chat. If you both have virtual reality sets, you can meet and talk via VR (what a fun idea!). You two can FaceTime or similar...walk him through your home or take him on a walk through your neighborhood. You can even plan a date night where you each have dinner and sit and talk and then watch a movie together. Get creative - there is much to explore.
5. Send Him Gifts
Thoughtful gifts, whether big or small, send a message of love. Consider mailing him his favorite food or dessert, or surprise him with a gift he’s been after. You can send him something like his favorite lounge pants, an instrument, digital gifts (music), or sports equipment. You can even do something simple and send him a cute letter to let him know you are thinking of him. Handwritten letters are the best! If he has a furry companion at home, send accessories or treats to his feline or canine best friend. Let him know you miss him and his best pal.
6. Plan When to See Each Other
Visits are extremely important when doing long distance and planning them out is also important. Depending on just how geographically far apart you two are, consider meeting halfway or plan on taking turns visiting. You can always plan a halfway getaway depending on your budget - think Hawaii, the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, or even the nearest city. Have him stay with you or go visit him and stay at his place. Be sure to let any roommates know in advance. Wherever you decide on, make sure you both agree to a calendar date and keep the visitations regular.
7. Have an End Goal
Make sure you two have an end goal for the relationship in mind. Do you two plan on living together? Do you want to live in the same city and when? How soon? Will you move in together immediately when you live in the same city or will you take time to do your own thing and then make the move down the road? Do you both want to get married? Do you both want kids and at what age? These are important questions to ask. The two of you should be on the same page.
8. Stay Honest With Each Other
Honesty is key in a long-distance relationship. If the distance is no longer working for you and it is making you upset, make sure you let your partner know. Is communication not going well? Are you upset because you are not communicating enough or communicating too little? Are you feeling lonely and need some attention or physical connection? Talk to your partner about your needs and let them talk about their needs. Figure out a plan and get things fixed ASAP.
9. Keep it Exciting
Yes, sending fun texts throughout the day in a long-distance relationship keeps things interesting. Consider wearing enticing clothes and video chatting with him. Send him a flirty text or email. Send him a cute photo (always be smart about this!) if you are comfortable and serious. Get creative and keep him on his toes. Tell him how much you are thinking about him.
10. Stay Positive
Long-distance relationships are tough and take work. It’s important that you stay positive when things get tough. There will be challenges along the way and things won’t always be easy, but working through the challenges together will help you grow. A good saying is “be proactive instead of reactive” - be compassionate and listen and try to fix your problems. Look for solutions and stop yourself from getting mad. Solutions make for a happy relationship, fighting doesn’t, especially when it’s long-distance. Remember to be patient, kind, loving, and flexible. Long-distance relationships do work if both partners put in the effort.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2020 Brynn B Lewis