I've been through too many failed relationships and finally found the one. I enjoy writing about relationships and spiritual connection.
The Meaning Of A Karmic Relationship
There are 4 kinds of soul mates: Healing soul mates, Past-life soul mates, Twin flames and Karmic. A healing soul mate is one that shows up by divine timing at moments when we have so much to learn and they have so much to teach.
A past-life soulmate is someone whom you feel comfortable with. No tension, only connection. Someone who is of kin spirit to you. Those in twin-flame relationships work together to overcome barriers dealing with emotions and spirit. Twin flames can talk nonstop without running out of things to say. Two peas in a pod.
Karmic relationships, on the other hand, are those that are not meant to last. Harsh, I know, but they do exist. Just because a karmic relationship is only temporary, it doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary. This type of relationship is actually the one that will bring about the biggest life lessons in love.
Karmic relationships are usually the ones we don’t want but have. The connection in a karmic relationship is deep and often painful because they involve numerous struggles concerning ego. If you are in a relationship that goes through a cycle of intense passion, jealousy, negative feelings, control, selfishness, self-centeredness, one-sidedness, obsessiveness, and/or emotional, physical or mental abuse, then you are in a karmic relationship.
Similar to the common term “toxic relationship”, a karmic relationship feels like one long roller coaster ride with a lot of downhill drops and loops.
Now that we have a gist of what this karmic relationship is, let’s go through its specific signs and stages to help better understand and gauge if we are in one.
Signs and Stages of a Karmic Relationship
Ever had a relationship that felt one-sided? Then most likely that was a karmic one. This kind of relationship has no respect and mutual understanding for the other partner; instead, it’s all “them, them, them.” Step aside and listen to your partner talk. Do they mention others in the topic of the conversation or does every sentence start with “I”? “I did this today.” “My family owns this property”. “I used to go to this club all the time”.
Someone who is self-centered and thinks the world revolves around them is a red flag to watch out for.
A karmic relationship starts out feeling destined like you’ve met your soulmate. An instant connection is made, there are physical attraction and chemistry.
It is important to note that this is how most karmic relationships begins. It will progress to the next stages or signs below.
In a karmic relationship, there is always a “settler” and a “reacher”. There is one who is more in love with the other and is afraid to lose the other. The constant highs and lows of passionate intensity (one day your partner is showing you affection and the next you are crying yourself to sleep because of how selfish they are), gets addictive.
Somehow, we tend to think that the drama in a relationship is the “spark” that is needed in keeping it alive; but these two are completely different concepts. Drama is a "spark" for all the wrong reasons.
In a relationship like this one, you would not want to lose the other person maybe because of superficial reasons like good looks, social or professional status, popularity or even wealth. The reacher will try to stick with the settler in hopes of a better tomorrow.
In continuation with the characteristic above, a karmic relationship is also controlling. You, as the reacher, will end up making your partner the center of your universe and the reason why you are still breathing. They become the source of your happiness, someone you cannot live without. All of these are very unhealthy for someone’s mental and physical health.
A controlling relationship is also one that is obsessive. You try to control your partner’s every move and become possessive and jealous over the simplest things. In turn, you also become blind to their flaws because you consider your partner to be perfect.
5. Feels destined
Because you obsess over your partner and think “how could they have picked me”, you will feel like it is destiny and that he or she is the one because they are too good to be true.
Even during the hard times and the tears, you will still think that it is just another rough patch and hope to get it right the next time. They are like a magnet that you just cannot pull away from even though at the back of your head there is that soft voice telling you “This isn’t healthy for you. You need to get out.”
Imagine putting the first four signs together. What do you get? Someone whom you see as a god. Every thought, every decision and every breath you make will revolve around that person. You start losing your identity.
Becoming completely dependent, mentally, physically and emotionally, on one person is never a good idea.
How does a karmic relationship make you feel? Inadequate, ugly and vulnerable. Sad to say but it is true. Because of all the mirrors your partner hold up in front of you that exaggerates your shortcomings, you try to become a “better person”; someone that will suit their needs better.
People change in karmic relationships and things you didn’t do before would seem ok to do now.
Remember the roller coaster I mentioned earlier? Well, that is mainly what a karmic relationship is all about. One day it’s all romance and flowers and can change to the gloomiest dramatic day in a snap. Imagine a relationship on eggshells wherein you have to be so cautious not to get on your partner’s bad side that day.
A karmic relationship usually starts out in a bed of roses but will slowly make a turn for the worst.
There is really no definite stages in a karmic relationship because it is a cycle and repetitive. Some even experience a lot of break-ups and make-ups in one karmic relationship.
A toxic person rarely changes, making the relationship stagnant. Being stuck in the same patterns over and over again is a nightmare.
As the sunny days and sweet gestures lessen, abuse will start to take their place. This can occur through physical, mental, or sexual abuse.
Someone who hits you is never the right one to be with. Someone who plays mind games and makes you second guess everything is wrong for you. Someone who only has his own pleasures in mind will never make you truly happy.
When you are in a karmic relationship, you will discover all the fears you didn’t know you were afraid of. Things like the fear of being alone and abandonment, fear of committing, fear of the future with someone, fear of marriage, loss, and rejection will start to haunt you.
This is due to the constant tension and trauma that you are experiencing; yes, even on the good days, these doubts and thoughts still linger.
How To End: Ways on Resolving a Karmic Relationship
You know about the signs and stages of a karmic relationship and that it is a repetitive cycle which will not end until you hit pause or the brakes.
On a lighter note, it might bring comfort to those who are currently trying to get out of karmic relationships that they do end. Karmic relationships never last.
Fortunately, there is always an exit and escape. The first step would be to admit that you are in one. This is the biggest battle that needs to be won. Knowing will give you the needed motivation and strength to leave.
The next step would be to analyze all the lessons you have learned while in the relationship. You now know better because you have all the bad examples to avoid. Seeing all the negative for what they truly are will remove the mask/blindfold, very similar to chains breaking loose.
After admittance, acceptance, and clarity come the physical, emotional and mental walking away. It will take time and a lot of distractions to fully break free from the addicting lure that held you to that person. Block, unfriend, and stay clear of all things that remind you of that person and instead, focus on yourself.
Make sure to fully heal and grow before deciding to enter a new relationship. This enables you to have a clear vision and avoid the same patterns from happening again.
Karmic relationships are stressful and alluring at the same time. They have a certain appeal to them that is so hard to avoid but easy to dive into. Once in, it will take you for the ride of a lifetime. But they don’t last.
A karmic relationship is definitely one of the best in teaching you a lot of life and love lessons. You come out of that roller coaster stronger and wiser than ever. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Muriel B Tewes (author) on October 03, 2019:
It’s a good question. If she were my friend, I would ask her out, get her favorite drink and tell her that I have something serious to tell her. It is a honest observation about her relationships. She might get hurt but I’ll still tell her as I really care for her.
Then I’ll state my observation objectively. Give examples of how this guy and that guy that she dated were similar and tell her if this is something she would like to continue.
Give her awhile to reflect on the observation. I’ll thank her for listening and will say, “Hope you take some time to ponder on this. Shall we order this? Let me get it for you :)”.
Hope this way will get the message across and all the best!
Eunice on October 03, 2019:
How do you tell your friend that she is in a karmic relationship? I can clearly see that she is going in circles with the same type of getting attracted to "bad boys" and getting hurt/ abused in the end.