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Is Online Dating Worth It?

Clair is an introvert, programmer, Leo, photographer, and writer.

howonlinedatingchangedme

I am pretty sure that we all know some people who met someone online and had their share of happy ending. Well, online dating is the most convenient way to look for a partner without having to put in a lot of effort. Just create an account to a dating site, upload your most handsome or gorgeous photo, and you are ready.

I've also had my fair share of online dating experience. After my ex boyfriend broke my heart, I gave myself some time to recover and tried dipping my feet into online dating to distract myself from the breakup. Prior to this, I was convinced that there's no way I could find someone in this medium so I had to set my expectations and don't let myself fall for anyone. I've met different men from across the globe and there were very few good ones who didn't ask for sensitive photos. I've made few good friends that didn't turn into lovers.

It was a very exhausting and time-consuming experience. I ended up blocking everyone. And did it help me get over my ex boyfriend? Yes, somehow it did. It distracted me from the pain of breakup but it made me miss him even more. It was frustrating that I never met anyone who came close to him. This is one of the reasons why it is not advisable to go into online dating after a breakup.

Online dating is not guaranteed to work for everyone. It may or may not work for you. But since I have experienced it firsthand, I came up with a list of reasons why sometimes it's not worth taking a risk.

1. There is no real relationship to begin with.

There is no relationship without commitment, love, and respect. You can text everyday but never talk about deeper things. You can have plans about your future together but there is no guarantee that he or she means it. Over time it will get boring and he or she won't put in much effort to nurture your relationship. If there are no plans of eventually meeting together, then everything is just a good dream. Both should be committed to do everything they can to make the relationship and everything a reality.

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2. You really do not know the real him / her.

Yes you have seen his or her photo, name, and other information that can be easily manipulated but you don't know his or her deepest thoughts, ambitions, expectations, traumas, fears, family background, insecurities, etc. You will feel that all your interactions will be shallow and revolve around asking each other's day. It's hard to trust anyone you've met online but if he or she is serious about you, it shouldn't matter.

3. It will trigger your insecurities and trust issues.

It's hard to trust someone you never met. If you have trust issues due to past relationships, dating someone online will be very difficult for you. It will drive you crazy thinking that the other person is talking to other people. So the key is to always set your expectations. Don't fall easily for someone you've just met. It's like dating in real life wherein you don't fall for the first person you have dated. Always keep your options open until the other person has proven that he or she is in it for a long haul.

These are just some of the cons of online dating. However, it may change from one person to another. You may give it a try and who knows, it might work to your favor.

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