Loving Someone To The Point Where Your Love is Not Enough
How the world of love revolves has to be the next close thing to death when it is not received in the way someone hopes. Think of all the possibilities of love that has come to an end for someone. The pain. The agony. The tears. The crushing effect. I, too, have felt such a realization that no matter what I could have done to change the fate of what was around me, the love in me was doomed. How good of a person one thinks they are as a partner, if you are not enough for the other person, you will feel it, see it, and even with the turning of another cheek, their lack of love, interest, and concern towards you mounts into the reality that loving them, is not enough to keep them.
You Can Not Force Love
If I had the answer to how to make someone love you with all that one desires in life in a happy, heart-filled, sexually explosive monogamous relationship with the one that holds your heart, I would not be single. Not sure many of us would be. Truth is, there is no way of finding a way, even by force, to make someone love you.
To love someone, it does not have to be a mutual road. You can love, as long as you realize what you feel does not necessarily match how they feel about you. They may love you only as a friend. Best friends, for example, happens to be a very common ground for someone who falls, yet the other does not. Then if it is forced, just to see, the friendship can be ruined. Heck, this happens in the book of love across every scenario. From strangers to semi friends to the inseparable besties.
The rythm of love rocks everyone's boat. No one is exempt except for the rare percent who are sworn to love only God (Monk, Nuns, Priests, etc.) but even those persons can not hide behind concrete walls to avoid feelings. It is a natural happening reality that we all face. We fall. And sometimes, we fall for the wrong person.
If You Fall ... and They Do Not ... Who is At Fault?
The truth is, it is no one's fault. You have to keep in mind it is you who fell for the one who does not share the same feelings or emotions. They did not ask this of you. Talking to your family and friends about your broken heart, only makes them look like a jerk that they are not.
Falling for someone is never the other persons fault. They see you as only the person you are to the situation you are both in. Rather it is a work associate, friends, or a passing stranger. Mutual interest is not required of anyone. That would be about the same as someone telling you that you have to eat everything on your plate after you have already expressed no interest in the green beans.
Forcing your love is not the way to strive successfully at gaining someone's interest, either. If anything, that can be seen as a fatal attraction if the person does not know you. And should they know you, maybe they now see you as desperate. Not a welcoming return to have to put yourself through. So, pay attention to the fact that if there is no interest shown from the other party, then move along. Let it go. Drop it. Cut the strings.
Break Yourself Away
Much easier said than done but finding the return love being spoke of on a one way, dead-end street is obviously not happening for you, now is it? Then why, you must ask yourself, are you chasing a dead dream of hope?
You can do this if you try, but you must first be satisfied with the ending results that is on the way. If you are not, then there are deeper issues going on that you must contain. Like feeling the person you are in love with is your drug of choice. Honey, that's not healthy living. That is an addiction. Co-dependency comes to mind. If this is the case, something in your mind has you believing there is no other love for you outside of this person. That is walking on dangerous ground. Nothing good can ever come from this type of need to have and to be with someone. If I were an educated and gifted psychologist, I would list all the medical terminologies you fall into. Truth is, it is time to tell this train to move along.
Breakaway. Learn to love beautifully with someone who feels the want and desire to make a healthy relationship with you work. If that can not be done, embrace being single until it does.
Love Is Mutual. Not One Sided.
Love Yourself First
Loving someone who is not in love with you is not an ugly thing, as long as you keep a reality check on what is happening, and that no one is required to love you back the way you want. But what you do need to know, is that loving yourself first will only bring out a better character trait. In us all. Including myself. Like I mentioned, this road I have traveled. Oh my how I love him, but the feelings are not mutual. Yet I can not shut down the truth. Attempting to run from it does not cover up what is happening inside me. Now, I am finding myself embracing who I want to be as a person because one day, the right love will find me. And I want to be able to recognize it, without repeating history. This is the road we should all walk.
© 2019 Julie
Comments Welcomed & Responses Returned
Julie (author) from United States of America on September 29, 2019:
This was poetically beautiful. I enjoyed reading your response to my article. A few times, actually. Well said. Actually, I believe you said it better than I ever could. :) TY for your time. Very appreciated.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 26, 2019:
The reality is everyone has rejected someone and everyone has been rejected before. Not everyone we like or love will like or love us back. The goal is to find a love that is mutual and given freely.
"Loving someone who does not appreciate, accept, or offer you their love back is not worth fighting for, let alone attempting to change who you are in hopes they notice you." - Very true!
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
Each of us has our mate selection/screening process
Each of us has our boundaries and "deal breakers".
In order for a person to be "the one" they would have to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).
There is no amount of "communication" or "work" which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde