It's All About Him!
If you are dating a narcissistic man, then you probably realise by now that your life is inconsequential to him.
Nothing is ever about you, it is all about him.
Narcissists are master manipulators who don’t have a grip on reality.
They are distrusting, suspicious, abusive and controlling of their partners.
Often living in a state of denial, narcissists may also be suffering from mental health problems, aside from their personality disorder.
This can lead to them being psychologically unstable. Over a period of time, you may even begin to sense that they are 'not normal.' Their reactions will appear totally alien to you.
When confronted about their behaviour, the narcissist is never at fault. It will always be your fault. They fail to realise that there will inevitably be consequences for their bad behaviour. As they are never in the wrong, you must be the one to blame.
Be prepared for drama, drama and more drama!
Dating a narcissistic man is a rollercoaster of emotions.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms
Clinical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder requires five or more of the following traits to be exhibited:
- Has a grandiose sense of self- importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
- Requires excessive admiration.
- Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
- Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
- Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
- Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
Cluster B Personality Disorders
- Antisocial Personality Disorder
Exhibits a pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
- Borderline Personality Disorder
Exhibits a pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity.
- Histrionic Personality Disorder
Exhibits a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Exhibits a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy.
In the early stages of a relationship the Narc comes across as confident, charming, attentive and loving.
In fact, he worships the ground you walk on. You just can’t believe your luck.
This guy is just too good to be true.
And there ladies, is your Aha! moment.
Your first red flag.
This guy IS too good to be true!
It will be a whirlwind romance of his orchestration.
He will tell you that he loves you and soon begins making plans for your ‘happy ever after' ’life together that exists only in his fantasy world.
He has no real intention of ever delivering on his promises.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a Cluster B personality disorder.
Therefore, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to exhibit traits that are prevalent in the other personality disorders as there is often some degree of overlap.
A narcissist typically exhibits a lack of:
They also display many of the following characteristics:
- Self centred / self absorbed
Further Reading On Narcissism
Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferers can be arrogant, self centred, demanding, manipulative, cocky and lacking empathy for others. With an inflated sense of their own importance they have a deep need for admiration
Narcissistic men can totally destroy your life. They are manipulative, self absorbed and lack empathy for anyone else. If you're dating a guy who thinks it's "all about me" then you should get out fast. He is capable of destroying your sanity as well as your bank balance!
Breaking Up With A Narcissistic Man
The hardest part of breaking up with a narcissistic man can be the utter lack of comprehension.
What happened to the charming man who swept me off our feet?
Who is this monster standing before me?
Was it something I did?
What if I’d done things differently?
The list is endless.
Obsessing about the breakup is an unnecessary drain on your emotions.
In truth, dating a narcissist is emotionally exhausting.
You are trying to make sense of the nonsensical.
Stop analysing every detail because none of it will ever make any sense to you.
Narcissists do not behave rationally.
Therefore, you cannot possibly hope to derive a rational explanation from an irrational situation.
Surviving A Narcissistic Relationship
Here are a few parting words of encouragement:
- Know Your Self Worth – If you don’t value yourself then he never will.
- Set Your Boundaries - and stick to them. If you repeatedly allow him to cross your boundaries do you honestly believe that is an incentive for him to stop?
- Actions Speak Louder Than Words – The way someone behaves reveals far more about them, than what they actually say. The Narc knows exactly what you want to hear. He is full of false promises that he simply has no intention of carrying out. He simply can’t you see. You are dating a narcissistic man!
Please note that this hub is not intended for use as a source of professional, psychological or medical advice but is provided solely for informational purposes.
Readers are advised to seek the services of competent professionals in these fields.
This content is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for formal and individualized diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed medical professional. Do not stop or alter your current course of treatment. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.
© 2012 C L Grant
livingsta from United Kingdom on January 08, 2013:
This is very true actually! Have experienced. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Voted up and sharing!
Jessee R from Gurgaon, India on January 08, 2013:
A very informative article... I must say.. now , after reading .. I will to go and advise some of my lady friends to go recheck their relationships :)
A very detailed and descriptive article about narcissism and how it affects the men
Thumbs up and shared