Know what you're getting yourself into when dating a married man.
Love is blind? Love has no restrictions? And whatever else you can come up with to justify the idea of dating a married man, is probably not going to take you anywhere in life.
Of course, he might shower you with passionate love and treat you like his queen but for how long exactly?
Do you have any idea how many men lie about having problems with their wives, how they’re about to get divorced soon and so on just to pull and keep another side chick for pleasure?
Okay, let’s talk about the 10 ultimate reasons why you should never want to date a married man.
NO 1: He might have problems with his wife but he LOVES her.
Stupid hormones make anybody want to fall for lust. Have you ever heard about people cheating you thought would always be super faithful to their partner? It can happen.
This married man you’ve been dating probably has a lot going on behind the scenes with his wife. He might have been building up his anger and frustrations against her and looked for ways to get relief from his marriage stress.
Do you know what the popular lie cheating married men tell their girlfriends?
“I’ve never felt this way with any other woman in my life, not even with my wife.”
Don’t fall for it.
You walked into his life at the time where he just needed someone to talk to about everything with, someone to give him rest and happiness from family stress. That’s it. It stops right there. You give him temporary happiness and pleasure, that’s all he is going to take from you.
NO 2: 8/10 times, he sees you as nothing more than a friend with benefits or a side chick.
Take a moment to think about what his main intentions are every time he meets you. Does he want to go to public places like beach, movie or anywhere just to spend some quality time with you? Or does he always want to go to places where he will be able to get all intimate with you?
If it’s the second one, there is a damn good chance he’s been lacking it from his wife for some time or temporarily bored of her and wants pleasure from a new woman.
Do you want to be the side woman?
NO 3: If he has children, he LOVES and will always love them more than anyone else.
He might have whatever issue going on with his wife but if he has kids, this guy will always have a soft spot for them. There is nothing wrong with that, he has to be a good father to his kids at least.
It will be a problem for you if he ever happens to move in with you or introduces you to his kids.
99.9% times, kids don’t get along with their daddy’s new girlfriend and will always be possessive of their father’s love. They might start hating you because you stole their dad from their mom and do whatever it takes to cause problems between you and the man.
Who do you think he’s going to believe no matter what? His kids of course. He will get rid of you sooner than you can imagine if you continue to get in the bad side of his children.
NO 4: How finely can you bond with his children?
If by any chance he divorces his wife and marries you, he is still going to be seeing his kids and bringing them to your home. He will want and expect you to sort of act like a second mother to them. Are you ready for that?
Also, if you happen to have your own child with him, he is still going to love his first wife’s children equally or more. He might even start hating you if he ever catches you comparing his children with your one or attempting to ill treat them.
NO 6: Ever heard of KARMA?
Karma exists and it doesn't just get people back once, but it can hold on to them forever if it wants to.
At this moment of your life, you’re being selfish and only thinking about your happiness. You want to be with this married man because you think you love him or whatever but have you taken a second to think about his wife and family?
Have you taken a second to think about the pain she will go through if and when she finds out her husband has been betraying her? The tears you bring out from another woman’s eyes, Karma will get you back 5 times harder for it. No joke.
NO 5: If he’s betraying his wife behind her back, how can you be 100% sure he won’t do the same to you?
What if he was the one who treated his wife badly? How could you even be sure whatever he told you about his wife is true? You probably don’t even know the woman. Has he even showed you a picture of her?
Pay close attention to the stuff he tells you about his wife. Chances are he could be telling you a whole bunch of lies just to have you tied up on his pinky finger.
Don’t ever believe it if he tells you he loves you and you’ve only known him for a few months. Yes, it is possible to fall in love with someone quickly but when it comes to a married man, NO.
Where the hell did he put his marriage morals and the trust his wife has for him?
Don’t be quick to believe him and judge his wife with him because, what he says about her is a slight hint of the kinds of things he could say about you if you ever break up.
NO 7: You only get a small portion of his time.
You’re dating a married man. Never forget the fact he has a family of his own. He sure as hell doesn’t want to get caught by his wife or family members that he’s cheating with another woman so you will only get a limited amount of time to spend with him.
You probably will not see him when you want to see him but only when he can manage to come over. If you annoy him about not spending enough time with you, he will only get annoyed and regret meeting you.
NO 8: How long are willing to play hide and seek?
Remember this, you can never rush a married man to divorce his wife so he can be with you permanently. It has to be his own action done in his own time.
He might have told you he will divorce her soon, but “soon” in his dictionary could mean over 6 months, a year or more.
Until then, you will have to cope being the hidden side girlfriend and play along according to his rules. It might be all sweet and lovey dovey in the beginning but as time goes by, you will find yourself losing your inner peace and energy.
All for what? Trying to keep a married man happy, that’s it.
NO 9: You’re missing and might never find your MR.PERFECT
While you’re getting dragged along dating this married man and playing according to his rules, you might end up missing the chance to meet and marry the guy who was meant for you.
How will you have time and space to look for your actual hero if you’re 24/7 worried about dating a married man?
NO 10: Once the fun calms down, you will be left with 2 things: Regrets and Depression.
Once he gets used to you, he will start being more comfortable with you.
Being comfortable could mean, he might not take you seriously anymore. He might not even call or text you regularly or come up with lame excuses for why he couldn’t. He will officially start seeing you as his mistress.
He obviously can’t spend nights with you. You will find yourself being lonely and depressed half of the time and eventually start regretting.
What's your answer?
Speak your mind! What is it that's making you want to date a married man? How will you handle the consequences?
Chel on January 06, 2017:
First time I notice him, I was like "waooo!" He is absolutelly my type. in all senses so far. we were just workmates, took the same bur, sit frequentlly together... and so I started digging and found out he had a girlfriend in college. He graduated last year, is three years younger than me, but has the mind of a 35 years old man. so when I knew he was nos avoidable, I felt sad. I truly want to have a crazy sex up night with him, that is how much I like him. Am not a fan of the fact that he is not single, but cannot resist. Yeah, it bothers that it will be just sex and that is it, but I guess I got to take my chances here.
oh, by the way... it is the first time I do something like this, yo get involve with a man that is (sort of) married...
and the post did help...
Still2gethr on December 16, 2016:
The only reason there are no good ones single my friend is because their wife trained them. Now you want to come in and take over the race at the Finnish line. If he looses her he WILL blame you! Your so willing to put a family of how many through the ringer Hollidays and special events because you pull at him and make him stressed to see you. It's because of you those families never have the peace and love they deserve because of "The Secret Woman" The nameless haunter of a woman no one knows. Why, because he wants to HIDE you. you are a vacation to his responsibilities. We all know what happens with vacations they are fun for a bit no one knows where you went but they are over and it's back to the real world. Respect yourself enough to find a man who loves you not likes you whenever he wants a vacation from reality. This is why women are labeled stupid because you would never take this from a girlfriend but some stupidly find a man that treats them like a vacation because they are too lazy to train their own. SERIOUSLY? Come On!Stop using an excuse to have someone else pay for you to be lazy and not have a job. Hooker to the married man so he doesn't get busted by the cops. Plain and simply put.
No good choices on November 29, 2016:
The reason I am with a married man is because hes good to me and there are no more good single men. If I were to find a respectable single man I sure would not waist my time with a married one. There just is no choices out there anymore.
I wonder what ever happened to our men?
Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on September 17, 2015:
Women who date married men are slimming their chances of finding a good husband. What self-respecting man wants to get to know a woman who has a reputation of dating married men? She will likely attract married men who want a chance to play around with her. Some women change, and want to improve their lives, but that reputation usually follows for life. It doesn't seem fair to block a second chance, but people do not forget cheaters.
levertis steele on March 09, 2015:
Some married male cheaters have one side chick, some have several, and some play the butterfly among many irresistible flowers. Butterflies spend less times at home as does the man with a single girlfriend when he has fallen in love and plans to leave his wife. Still, most cheating husbands never intend to leave their wives. Most of the divorces that occur are usually initiated by the wives who discover the infidelity.
RealestMotherDear from Louisiana on May 28, 2014:
Cathy Nerujen from Edge of Reality and Known Space on May 28, 2014:
Wow, it is a total mine field ... my brain just melted reading this....
dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 27, 2014:
According to statistics (women) initiate 66% or 2/3rds of all divorces in the U.S. An unhappily married man is more likely to cheat than run down to the courthouse file for divorce, move out of his house into an apartment, become a weekend dad, pay child support and possibly alimony.
Having said that every now and then some men make exceptions and do leave their wives for mistress; Kevin Hart, Donald Trump, Brad Pitt, singer Eddie Fisher left actress Debbie Reynolds for actress Elizabeth Taylor, cameraman Danny Moder left his wife for actress Julia Roberts.
Lastly it's also worth noting some mistresses love being the mistress! I personally know of one instance where a man left his wife to surprise his mistress and she dumped him! She didn't want him around fulltime.
The U.S. in particular has always romanticized adultery. ABC TV has a show called "Mistresses", the lead character in "Scandal" is a woman who cheats with the President of the U.S. and she's (very popular) with viewers, hit songs such as "Me and Mrs. Jones", "If Loving You is Wrong I don't Want to be Right", "Saving All My Love For You", "Secret Lovers", "The Agony and the Ecstasy", and"Torn Between Two Lovers" are just some of the major hit songs that explore being married to one person when "the right one" comes along. It's the obstacles and challenges that intensify passion in an illicit affair. Cheaters only concern themselves with the here and now!
Most mistresses do not think long-term.
RealestMotherDear from Louisiana on May 27, 2014:
Some wives know what's happening, and if you get out of pocket you get demoted.