Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.
Why do your friends ignore you?
Many of us make friends quite easily, but find it extremely difficult to maintain the friendship. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt that your friends are drifting away from you? I have felt that way and I know that the fault is mine. My work pressures have been keeping me busy and I have not been giving time to friends.
While some of us may easily make friends and earn the tag of ‘popular’, there are some who find it extremely difficult to make friends or keep them. People seem to stay away from them no matter how much ever they try. Have you been in such a situation and wondered what could be wrong with you? I will try to answer these questions through this hub. Given below are some reasons for people ignoring you.
How to be a good friend? What could be some reasons why people may be avoiding you? Given below are some common reasons why people could be ignoring you.
Reasons why People may avoid you
Have you been in a situation when your best buddy suddenly stopped answering your calls and mails? Have you felt a friend behaving differently than he/she normally behaves? Then that it a definite sign that your friendship may be in trouble and something may have gone wrong. Sometimes it could be just misunderstandings which could have resulted in such a behavior from a friend. In that case, you can change the situation with an open talk with that person. Most of the times, something we did or said could be the reason for the changed behavior of a friend. Sometimes, the friend could be busy or may be going through a rough time. Instead of jumping the gun, try to find the real reason for the behavior. Do not make any judgment before talking to your friend just because she/he may have been avoiding you. If your friend does not want to share their problem with you, just let them know that you would be there for them in case they need you. Try to understand and analyze the situation. You will be adding fuel to the fire if you are insensitive. However, that may not be the case always. People could be avoiding you for other reasons too.
What could be some possible reasons for people avoiding or ignoring you? Given below are the top 10 Reasons for People avoiding you.
- You have no time for Friends: You are never there for your friends in time of their need. This could be because you may be busy with your own problems to handle or you do not want to involve in others problems. A good friend would be available during thick and thin.
- You break Promises: You constantly disappoint your friends by breaking your promises. Whether it is plan of meeting up for a cup of coffee or seeing a movie, you are unreliable or back away giving excuses. Sometimes you ditch your friends at the last minute and keep them waiting without bothering to inform them about it.
- You crib all the time: If you are someone who cribs all the time as if you have all the world’s troubles on your platter, it is only natural that people may run away from you. Your friends may listen to you for some time, but after a while they would get bored and may not want to hear you cribbing.
- You are reluctant with money: Haven’t you met the types who always run to the washroom when it is time for the bill to arrive or who says that forgot their wallet or card? If your friends have to spend for you all the time while you keep your purse strings tied or act miserly, very soon they may start avoiding you.
- You have a superiority complex: You make your friends feel inferior by showering them with gifts, spending money on them heavily or bragging about your achievements while your friends find it difficult to keep up with you and develop an inferiority complex.
- You ignore friends often: Have you been in a situation where you meet someone while you were with your friend, and ignored your friend while you got busy catching up with that person. Or you went to meet your friend along with your boyfriend or girlfriend and gave your friend a royal ignore? If you are someone who makes your friend insignificant and uncomfortable, they might not want to stay your friend.
- You get your own way: Be it choosing a Holiday Destination, a Restaurant to dine or a dish to eat, you always pick things of your choice without considering the likes of your friends.
- You can’t keep Secrets: You have a big mouth. Your friend trusted you with a secret telling, ‘this should be between us’, and you betrayed the trust by revealing it. Think of how vulnerable, uncomfortable and embarrassing a person could feel if someone else asks them about the secret they revealed to you. If you are such a person who cannot be trusted, your friends may stay away from you.
- They are ashamed of you: If you are someone who lack Manners and Etiquette or someone whom they are ashamed to be seen with, people may avoid you.
- You are a fault finder: Nothing your friends do can please you. You always find faults in your friends and criticize them. If you are someone who is judgmental always, it is only expected that your friends may not like your company and may avoid you.
All the above reasons can be destructive to friendship. If you do not have an extensive friend list, probably you could be guilty of some of the above listed reasons. If that is so, it’s time you change your behavior.
Have I left out anything? Feel free you share through comments.
swilliams on June 12, 2014:
Very good pointers Anamika S! This was a very entertaining read! Voted up and tweeted out!
idigwebsites from United States on April 02, 2013:
So far my friends are not ignoring me, I make sure that I still keep in touch with my buddies... still, I hope I wouldn't make those mistakes you've mentioned. Thanks for your post. Voted up and useful. :)
Petite Hubpages Fanatic from Hyderabad on December 30, 2012:
That's an excellent hub! Thanks for the detailed and really useful tips!
Mahaveer Sanglikar from Pune, India on December 30, 2012:
If the sufferer reads this article, he will surely learn why is he/she being avoided by friends. Thank you for sharing this well explained write up.
Aman Thakur from India on December 25, 2012:
This is really a good hub. I think at some stage of life there comes a point when all of us feels ignorance from our friends. There can be any reason to it and I think your hub will definitely help people to understand those reasons.
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful hub.
Voting up and useful!
Alecia Murphy from Wilmington, North Carolina on October 26, 2012:
I've been on both sides. Friendships are harder to understand at times because in my opinion, there's not always definite stop and start date as with a romantic relationship. Sometimes you befriend someone and don't realize it until later. However, it's no excuse to abandon or leave someone out in the cold.
It doesn't take a lot of money to be a good friend, but I think it does take a lot of character. And while I know I lack in one, I hope not to lack in the other. This was a great hub to read-voted up and useful!
vonda g nelson on August 23, 2012:
From a universal standpoint I think any "friend" that chooses to keep their distance especially if it's for absolutely no reason was never a friend. Personally I have experienced this from so called friends throughout the course of my life as a teen as well as an adult. What's good and bad about this sudden shift is that this individual is showing you who they really are as well as they cannot be trusted second more than likely an outside source intervened to remove them from your life. Friendship regardles of how you want to define it spells unity and at the end of the day you do not want to be in the company of anyone that spells U.N.T.R.U.S.T.W.O.R.T.H.Y and D.I.S.C.OR.D.A.N.C.E
amit on April 29, 2012:
hi, my name is amit and i am from india.. First of all the article is excellent i m amazed... All the points mentioned, from one of them would b a part of life.. I m often ignored by people.. Seriously, i don't know why this happens with me always.. This is happening with me since the age of 15 and now i am 28.. However, my lonliness is growing more and more inside me which can put me into big trouble.. So today i deceide to read some articals for finding a solution.. Luckely i came across this website.. And to be very honest al the suggestion or an answes you mentioned is basicaly a solution of the situation.. So from now onwards i will try my best to follow all the instructions to come out of this situation.. Incase i need sugestion or we can say advise, how do i share that with you... Please help me.. Thanks a tone.. God bless you..
Christy Stewart from Virginia on April 26, 2012:
Thank you for addressing this issue. I like what Donald Miller said about relationships, "Going silent on somebody is worse than shouting insults. When we avoid resolving conflict, we avoid personal growth." Hopefully those 'annoying friends' have people who love them enough to confront them so that both parties can grow ;)
Stephanie Marshall from Bend, Oregon on March 27, 2012:
Right on! I recently dropped a friend who was so focused on her self and her life, she never asked after me or offered help, etc. Not much of a friend, really.
Cindy Murdoch from Texas on March 03, 2012:
You have made such excellent points here. So many people make these mistakes and then wonder why they are lonely. I hope that people who find themselves in this situation will be able to learn from the things that you have shared.
Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on March 03, 2012:
Very good points! I can say I've been guilty of a few things myself and I've also experienced it from the other side. Maintaining friendship can be tedious but really important if you want to keep your friends! I think being honest as possible with others and keeping the door open for feedback is necessary. If I've done something wrong I'd like a chance to rectify it - sometimes misunderstandings can cut off the conversation so you may never even figure out the truth and lost a friend that could have been fun forever:). Very excellent hub:)
Ruchira from United States on March 03, 2012:
haha...good ones Anamika.
I sure agree on all the above reasons. Have met one of each type in my life :)
voted up and sharing
Aurelio Locsin from Orange County, CA on March 03, 2012:
Yikes, I better make sure that I'm not practicing any of these behaviors. It's hard enough for me to make friends. What is "crib?" Voting this Up and Useful.
Sondra from Neverland on March 03, 2012:
Ooh I have been friends with all the types you listed above...the one who gripes all the time about his or her problems and cannot even discuss anything else or have a good time really bothers me. We all have problems - talk it over and move on to something better :) I hope this useful Hub helps others overcome certain behaviors in order to maintain friendships.
Dim Flaxenwick from Great Britain on March 03, 2012:
Outch!! You do shoot from the hip.
Excellent points to remember. Loved this hub.
Friendship is a 2 way thing.
Thank you for writing this
allenwebstar from Nagpur, India on March 03, 2012:
Very useful hub, we need to keep balance between all points. I like your observation.