I've been through too many failed relationships and finally found the one. I enjoy writing about relationships and spiritual connection.
Reading To Smoothen A Bumpy Relationship Journey
A romantic relationship can either be the best or the worst thing that could happen to anyone. It is perhaps the only thing that makes you feel euphoric when you experience butterflies in your stomach just by being so in love with someone. Their very presence can outshine the brightest summer day.
It could also make you feel like things could not get any worse. You feel so many emotions from anguish to hatred to wanting to kill someone then back to feeling so hopeless. This is why relationships are tricky. One day it’s all roses and chocolate cakes then the next you want to cut out each other’s throats.
When things take a turn for the worse or it’s already settled into a constant bad condition, couples usually opt for therapy in order to fix things. Couple’s therapy works. But because it is very limited in reach and only occurs maybe once or twice a week, there is still so much room left in between for things to go wrong.
Another option is reading. Consider reading to be a journey towards discovery, a treasure hunt. And when done with your partner, you get to travel and learn new things together without having to leave the comfort of your home.
Couple relationship books are offered in so many angles that there will always be something offered that you are looking for or something that you didn’t know you needed. Some of these books teach you how to build a strong relationship with your partner while others guide both of you in removing bad habits that are destroying your relationship.
Most Popular Couples Relationship Books Of All Time
Let’s get started at looking through the best couple relationship books out there.
1. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman
This classic has stood the test of time and is now quoted by many whenever relationships are trying to figure out why each partner’s needs and expectations aren’t being met.
Are there times when you just don’t understand your partner whether or not he or she loves you? Or you try your best to show your affection to your partner but they disregard it and don’t notice at all? This is because each one of us has a different love language. These are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch.
Your love language will explain how you perceive and define love. More often than not, our love language is not the same with our partner’s but it is through this book that we learn how to intertwine our different love languages and make it into something even more worthwhile and something that works.
2. Mindful Relationship Habits: 25 Practices for Couples to Enhance Intimacy, Nurture Closeness, and Grow a Deeper Connection by SJ Scott and Barrie Davenport
With our busy schedules and demanding careers, we often forget to remain mindful of our special someone. This book gives us a treasure trove of advice, wisdom and useful strategies in avoiding the pitfalls of a relationship such as taking your partner for granted and you both drifting apart into an unamendable state.
With 25 methods you can adopt into your relationship, you will be able to continue building your career and engaging in your everyday activities while staying connected with your partner.
The overall premise of Mindful Relationship Habits, according to reviews are as follows, “Mindfulness simply means to pay attention, to be present, to be engaged, to be aware, to be conscious. When you apply these behaviors to your relationship, it can only grow stronger and more joyful."
3. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication by John Gray
This well-known and well-loved relationship guide has been on the #1 New York Times bestseller list and it gives a detailed look into the opposite sex. You don’t have to scratch your head in bewilderment at what goes on in your partner’s head after reading this book.
The book is evidence-based, making it all the more reliable and valid. It gives you a proven and practical way to improve your communication with your partner while taking into account the differences in needs, desires, and behaviors you two have. Convenient, isn’t it?
For those currently experiencing a rocky condition in your relationship, there are a lot of effective strategies for reconciliation mentioned in the book.
4. Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition by Harville Hendrix
This book has been around for two decades, hence the 20th-anniversary version, so you can be sure that this book is effective in actually getting you the love that you want. It has helped millions of couples transform their relationship into a more loving, supportive, healthy and satisfying one.
With this 20th anniversary edition, you get revisions of the book (gotta keep updated to the current trends after all) as well as new chapters and exercises that you and your partner can engage in.
Written by a married couple made up of an educator-therapist combo, you can expect professional level advice and content that work, without having to book a couple’s therapy session.
Best Couples Relationship Books For Married Couples To Read Together
5. The Relationship Cure: A 5-Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman
Being in a married relationship means more responsibilities, accountabilities, and instances where you want to strangle your partner. We hear of so many stories of couples who used to be so madly in love but end up absolutely hating each other after a few years of marriage. Why? It’s the purpose of books such as The Relationship Cure to help you answer that question.
This powerful and simple program introduces 5 steps into giving your relationship a 180-degree turn for the better. Backed by more than 20 years of research, you will see results and an improvement in your marriage.
What’s more is that this book can even go beyond a married relationship and help friendships and other relationships such as those among children, siblings or colleagues.
If you want to know what are the key ingredients to a healthy relationship, then look no further. This book clearly states the importance of “emotional connection” in steering your relationship in the right direction.
Because it is a guide, there are questionnaires and exercises within the book that will help you transform the quality of your relationships in a simple way.
6. I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum
This book was specially made for those who are wondering if their relationship is worth saving. How can one rebuild a relationship and regain trust after it has been broken? Whether it’s the frequent small lies, large betrayals or a history of hurt that causes you to not trust freely, this book will effectively show you exactly what you need to do in order to trust again.
Being in a marriage, you usually don’t have the option to walk away when you want. Effort and work must be exerted in saving a relationship that is in danger. This book will help you achieve just that.
The approach is given through stages of trust-building with readers being taught how to avoid past mistakes that are stopping them for healing completely to showing them how to give their trust again.
With a down-to-earth, soothing and comforting tone, you and your partner will enjoy diving into this book.
7. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine MD and Rachel SF Heller, M.A.
Have you ever wondered how some marriages just work? Like the partners are so in love and happy, even if they have a soccer team of children to raise and careers to uphold? Apparently, there is a scientific explanation why that is so.
This book explains how the understanding of adult attachment is key in finding and maintaining love in a relationship. Adult attachment is an advanced relationship science which will be clearly explained throughout the book. It assumes that adults behave in relationships either anxiously, avoidant, or comfortably.
Similar to the love languages mentioned above, this guide will help readers determine their specific attachment style as well as their partner’s in order to discover and build a deep connection with each other.
8. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman, PhD
The title says it all. This book will show you how to make your marriage work through seven tried-and-tested principles. There are no theories here, only a scientific approach backed up by statistics and data.
Aside from advice, married couples can engage in the questionnaires and exercises found in the book in order to bring out the best potential of their marriage. The author, who is the self-acclaimed best relationship expert in the country, has looked at the detailed habits of married couples for many years. This book is the summation of his observation.
Whether you are in a new romantic relationship or married for many years, relationships should never reach a point where things become stagnant, unless you choose to remain so. Relationships are amazing because there is always room for growth, improvement, discovery and even more love.
Couples can experience that journey towards “more” through reading relationships books and following them. Amidst much skepticism, you would just be surprised at how effective they really are.
Muriel B Tewes (author) on September 25, 2020:
Agree! We should be responsible for our happiness.
If things are down for you, having this perception will change things around.
If things are good, having this perception will make things become better :)
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 23, 2020:
I fully agree with #1. (The 5 Love Languages).
So many of the issues people have in relationships is the result of (choosing) the wrong mate for themselves. This often leads to frustration and resentment as they attempt to get their partner to become someone who they are not.
Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.
Not everyone interprets or expresses love in the same way. Knowing and accepting this fact can help a person to formulate a mate selection/screening process and "must haves list" which is most suitable for them self.
Find someone who (naturally) speaks your language!
Couples who are compatible, love, understand, appreciate each other, and (want the same things for a relationship) are happier than those who don't. Who knew?!
No one is "stuck" with anyone. Suffering is optional.
The goal is to find a "soulmate" not a cellmate.