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Riley is a new writer but has dabbled in creative personal works, spoken word, and film reviews.

"Wife Guys" - The What And Why

If you're as glued to your twitter feed as I am, you'll have noticed a trend in men lately. These so called "Wife Guys," are being exposed as serial cheaters despite making a brand out of loving their wife so much. Comedian John Mulaney, musician Adam Levine and internet persona Ned Fulmer, previously associated with the Try Guys, have all been caught. The sickening part is the adoration and over the top love they seem to have had for their wives, despite cheating on them over and over for sometimes years at a time. And it's not just them either, as a trend on Tik Tok has ex-wives recounting all the sweet labors of love their so-called 'devoted' husbands did for them all while cheating at the same time.

So what is considered to be a "Wife Guy?" This term is used for men who bring their partner within their work consistently to gain something, mainly, sympathy and fame. It's a way to make not just their significant other but also everybody else in their life believe that they are a devoted, loving husband. That way, they can do whatever (and whoever) they want on the side. Additionally, within the study, “Power Increases Infidelity Among Men and Women,” published in Association for Psychological Science, researchers asked 1,561 professionals and found that power plays a significant role. The survey suggests that the more power a person holds, the more likely they will be to cheat.

So, when we take a look at these men and their positions, musician, famous comedian and internet sensation, it seems to correlate to that idea. Once there is a power dynamic involved, cheating to these individuals feels natural and the idea of being caught isn't something that crosses their minds.


Elliot Sang Talks About Infidelity

The Aftermath

Listen, I've been cheated on, I've had friends who've been cheated on and I'm sure you're in a similar situation. I looked near and far, scouring the internet for some sort of explanation or help guide for coping through all the stormy, uncertain emotions I was feeling. But, something that isn't touched on throughout the millions of advice columns I'd read is just how personal the healing process has to be.

You can take every single persons advice in the world on how to cope with the loss of a relationship after infidelity, and it still might not work for you. So, here's five ways how I did it (and how you can make it all about you).

  1. Throw a tantrum.
  • No, actually, do it. That unfiltered rage brewing inside needs to come out one way or another so it mind as well be on an inanimate object instead of the person that deserves it. Scream or punch a pillow, go to a rage room, stomp around your house and listen to the heaviest, angerist music you can tolerate. Shout it at the top of your lungs or even write down every heinous, bitter word you can think of before ripping the paper up to shreds. Burn something invaluable of theirs or even just throw all their stuff into a box and leave it outside your door.
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2. Cut all ties

  • Get your belongings if you can, bring friends if the backup feels needed and set yourself a date to fully cut them off. It can be after the exchanging of stuff is over with or just a few weeks after the breakup to mindlessly stalk their social media. And then, block every little thing that has a connection to them, friends and family included. The urge to reach out or check their instagram will always be there, even when you feel nothing for them but fighting that will be better then what follows.

3. Let yourself cry it out

  • This falls into the same vein as throwing a tantrum, though it’s not necessarily the same. After any breakup you’re going to feel some heavy emotions, especially when that relationship has ended due to infidelity. Do what you need to do to let all those tears out, even if it seems counter productive. Vent it out with a close friend, go through old memories and let yourself feel bad for the life you thought you were sharing with this person. You have to remember, a large part of heartbreak is mourning the loss of the person you thought you were in love with and the life you had. Do not let yourself be denied of feeling distraught.

4. Do not go back

  • Seriously. Do not take them back, don’t try and move on from it and stay together and do not engage in conversation with them, casual or not. This will never work out in your favor because if they were willing to cheat once, they might just be willing to do it again later down the line. That level of disrespect is not one that any person has to deal with. Let them navigate through why they did it on their own, without trying to work through it with you.

5. Rediscover yourself

  • After any breakup is the best time to discover who you are and who you were before the relationship. Try and get back into a hobby you loved, listen to music you obsessed over a year ago or even branch out and try something new. Allow yourself to explore and grow, find something you're interested in outside of who you were in your relationship

Lastly, above all, cope in the way that works for you. The emotions you're feeling are massive and came all at once, do not let anyone shame you for how you manage through the loss of a partner.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Riley Smith

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