Love is mainly based on mutual respect and attraction. Both men and women need to put effort into their physical appearance because it is important for maintaining attraction, and we all enjoy relating with beautiful well-kept people.
For various reasons, some women believe that their men should give them money for a hairdo, gym, cosmetics, clothes, etc.
A friend recently said to me: “men want beautiful, attractive women but they don’t want to provide money to maintain those looks”.
In my understanding, she was trying to say that men are reluctant to provide money for things that improve a woman's physical appearance, yet it is a man's responsibility to provide.
Indeed men are supposed to be providers, and the majority of men are happy to provide money for cosmetics and other expenses that make their woman a stunning beauty. This is usually exciting early in the relationship.
However, if you notice that he’s reluctant or is no longer enthusiastic about giving you money for those “little things”, this article will help you understand why. This is a man’s perspective on why you should avoid asking him to give you money for a hairdo.
It can get boring
When you require a man to give you money for cosmetics, it can become repetitive and boring over time. In the beginning, a man may get excited to pay for your salon. But with time you may notice that he is no longer interested. The simple reason is that it has become routine and boring. Eventually, it starts to feel like one of the monthly bills he has to deal with.
I believe paying bills is not exciting even for women. At times we approach them with a bit of resentment. Therefore asking your man to pay for your hairdo every month can be a bit of a burden, and a turnoff.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see you looking stunning with a new hairstyle or dress. Just like you want your man to look attractive, he wants the same for you. The truth is that a man will be excited to see his woman come home with a new hairstyle. He wants to see you look stunning. But if it starts to feel like an obligation for him to finance, the excitement will quickly fade. Therefore, let him pay for your cosmetics out of his will rather than as a requirement. Don’t let your physical appearance turn into a monthly bill he must deal with.
If you have an income, please take care of your looks. Most men will love it when you show some effort in taking care of yourself, and they will contribute willingly. Remember we’re always more than happy to help you choose a hairstyle.
Men want a challenge
Men like to provide for their women. But there is more to providing beyond cosmetics. Instead of asking him to pay for your hair and new clothes, give him a challenge. Ask him to do for you things that will raise his adrenalin and make him feel a sense of pride and accomplishment after it is all done.
For example, Ask him to teach you how to drive or pay for your driving lessons. Or show him a good piece of land on which you’d build a great family home. Suggest a business idea, and show that you’re knowledgeable about it with some facts about how it can benefit you as a family. Discuss it with an open mind, knowing that he has a right to decline your proposal.
But it doesn’t have to be a business idea. You could propose a nice weekend vacation at a nice resort or in the countryside. This can be a family getaway or something for just the two of you. Make it even more exciting by telling him that you’re willing to contribute some money to pay for the vacation.
These are some of the things that can ignite excitement in a man. These are action-oriented ideas that will capture his imagination and get him to think and plan on how to get them done.
For example, if you suggest a building project for a family home or a business idea, he will start drawing mental pictures of the completed home and what he would want it to look like. He will visualize the details of how to get it done such as where to get money for it, and whom to contact to make it work.
These are the kind of things that will make him feel proud as a provider. They are the kind of things that he can look back at and see effort, and progress. Therefore get creative and challenge your man and yourself. Notice that all the examples I have given are one-offs.
In other words, ask him to finance things that challenge his skill and intellect. This is the best way you will appreciate the true provider in your man.
Men aren’t looking for a dependent
Most men get bored when their woman behaves like a dependent rather than a partner. If you regularly remind him about your little expenses such as personal care products, you start to feel like a financial dependent and you lose some attractiveness.
We want our partner to be a strong successful woman, capable of dealing with her finances responsibly. Therefore, make your best effort to confidently manage most of your expenses including paying for your physical looks.
Make him realize that you can successfully live without his money. And that you’re with him because you love him, not because you depend on him.
Allow him to show you that he deserves you, but don’t demand it. He will make an effort to provide for you. If you’re confident and self-reliant, he will make an effort to be with you and make you happy. He will be happy to pay for those things that improve you as a person. In my view, that is what matters.
On the other hand, if you’re a dependent, you will drain his mental energy, and he will lose excitement. Eventually, all the attraction he has for you will fade and you will be left with a boring unromantic husband because when he thinks about you, he sees bills.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2022 Ian Batanda