Why does turning 25 feel like a mid life crisis?!
Or should I say, a quarter-life crisis...
Twenty-five is a rough age. All your life, you look forward to being twenty-one so you're allowed to go to bars and legally drink. Then you spend the next few years being glad that you can go to bars and drink. Twenty-two is cool, Twenty-three is cool, Twenty-four is cool and then BAM. You turn twenty-five and suddenly, it's not so cool anymore. You're only five years away from being thirty. You start analyzing every aspect of your life. Where is it going? Why aren't I married? Why don't I have kids? Chances are by now, you know several couples who are getting married and several couples who have children. Then you start to think "well my parents were married by now" or "all my uncles and aunts were married by now" or "wait my parents already had TWO kids by the time they were twenty-five!"
Then you start thinking about all the things in life that you haven't done yet. I still haven't traveled to Brazil... I still haven't published a book...
Then you start analyzing the person you're in a relationship with. Are they the one? If not, why am I wasting my time? I'm almost thirty! What if I'm thirty and all my friends are married and I'm not?!"
Maybe this doesn't happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. I always said that I would never move out of state because I'd miss all my family and friends here. Then I turned twenty-five, and all of a sudden I became extremely jealous that my eighteen year old sister was traveling abroad to go to school for a year in Italy. I'd never been to Italy! Hell, I had only been to two countries and that was years ago! What if I get married in the next five years and then I have a family and never get a chance to go to Italy? I started reading blogs about people traveling to different countries and looking at pictures of their journeys. I started remembering when I was back in high school and we'd take school trips to Greece and do all sorts of activities and life was so fun. I didn't even appreciate it then. Now I felt like all I did was work and come home and watch TV. I felt like I was too old to do some of the things I did in high school, but too young to settle down and have a family yet. Or was I? Maybe I'd be ready if I met the right person. Hmmm...
So then I started analyzing my current relationship. Did I really want to marry my boyfriend? I loved him, but I knew deep down that the thought of marrying him didn't excite me. So why was I with him? Was I just afraid of being alone? What if my future husband was out there and I'm missing out because I'm wasting time with my current boyfriend? I knew I didn't want to end up thirty and the only one out of my friends that wasn't married!
Then I started analyzing my job. I work as an IT Recruiter, so basically I interview candidates in the field of information technology and try to find them new jobs. I didn't mind it, but was I passionate about it? Did I love my job? No, I didn't love it. I did it because it paid well and it's something I had years of experience in now. So what was I passionate about?
Well, there are two things I've always loved since I was a kid: writing and music. I think it may be a little late for me to become the next Mariah Carey or Stephen King, but that doesn't mean that I can't do both in my spare time. You can always make time for the things you love.
All in all, I think twenty-five is an age where you discover who you really are. What I mean by that is finding who we REALLY are; what we've always loved deep down that makes us different from everyone else. I think as young adults, we know what our passions are, but as we get older we get so caught up in life we forget about it. In high school, you don't care about things you feel passionately about. You care about whose parents are going away that weekend, who's going to buy you beers and if your current crush is going to attend the party. Then after high school, you care about where you're going to go to college and where you're going to work. You don't worry about if you're current boyfriend or girlfriend is "the one" or if your job is the job of your dreams. But then when you turn twenty-five, you realize you have to think about these things. After all, you're reaching adulthood! What a scary thing. I'm still twenty-five though, so I'm still in the process of analyzing every aspect of my life and envying the people who have chased their dreams more than I have. I've always wanted to move to LA... publish a book... but hey, writing part time is a start to my writing ambition. I'll let you know how it turns out.
(See also, Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis - Part 2)
(So a quick update, my book is now available on Amazon... so if you guys like this article, feel free to read about 25 year-old Renee Evan's attempt to conquer her own quarter-life crisis... I'd love to hear your feedback! The link is below...)
Sound Bites: A Rock and Roll Love Story - Rachel Burke
- Amazon.com: Sound Bites: A Rock & Roll Love Story eBook: Rachel Burke: Kindle Store
After walking in on her best friend and boyfriend in bed together, Renee Evans leaves her dream job as an L.A. music journalist and returns to her hometown of Boston – only to meet Dylan Cavallari, the mysterious aspiring musician who lives upstairs.
Comments
Kay on February 18, 2014:
I can relate to this article a lot. For me, a lot of my friends are in relationships and already have kids or are married. It seems like every other day someone is getting pregnant or into a relationship. I turned 25 2 months ago and I have never been in an official relationship. I am afraid that I will end up alone. I dated a guy about 3 years ago that I fell in love with... He wasn't ready for a relationship and I took it really hard. I realized that I was dealing with some self-esteem problems and fear of rejection. It caused me to make some mistakes and go into depression from age 22 and I still kind of deal with depression now because I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I graduated from college 2 years ago and haven't been able to find work in my field until recently. Now that I'm in my field I know I don't want to do this forever and I'm still not making enough money to move out of my mom's house. I just feel so alone. I've been trying my hardest to get a good job. I've tried to look into moving out of state but I can't go because I don't have the finances to. I woke up this morning thinking wow another day and I am just wasting my young life. I don't know what to do. Thank you for this site. It's comforting to know other people my age can relate.
john on November 25, 2013:
hi well i
jdgib on August 17, 2013:
well I am happy that others do feel the same way I do. Unfortunately after reading every single post I still don't seem to have a solution. Im 25 years old and have been for 5 months. It kept telling people I feel like i'm going through a midlife crisis. No one would really listen most would just make a joke out of it saying "im so young". I may seem young to some but to me I am absolutely terrified feeling how short life is.
My life has been interesting to say the least. I began using drugs at age 12 and spiraled out of control by the age of 15 with heroin and cocaine. To make a very long story short I went to Rehab for the 10th time at the age of 19 for 16 months. When I left treatment I had 600 dollars to my name and a girlfriend. I spent that 600 dollars on a room to rent with my girlfriend. within 2 weeks we both had two jobs, within a month we had our own apartment, fast forward 1 year and we were both doing ok financially and we began renting a home, after another year we purchased our 2nd home. my credit was poor so my mother co signed. I started my own business with a friend in 11' which has grown now to over a million dollar a year company. I ended up marrying my girlfriend and have had a very rocky marriage. Now sitting hear after 3 years of marriage and working very hard on my business i know feel like I am wasting time with my wife and feel as if I have wasted much of my life with drugs, depression and working. I feel like after being separated from my wife for a couple of weeks that I started feeling like my old self again, passionate, loving to make music, wanting adventure in my life, feeling very energetic etc. I feel very confused about what I am doing right now. Im having a very difficult time committing to marriage feeling like I didn't savor enough of being young. I feel like I just want to run away and be irresponsible and live life to the fullest ya know? I know that there is no book to life and what I should be doing right now burt I cant help but to have these feelings. I can only pray for answers. Thank you for this post and letting me know that I am not alone.
Thank you
Cam on July 09, 2013:
turning 25 in two months.. i finally gotten into the area i wanted to work in after graduating and doing slave driving internships. Im starting to think is this what i want to be doing for the rest of my life.. i've missed psychology so much- i wanted to be a psychologist. But i had complications in my course. I've never been in a relationship and im starting to think why my life sucks so bad
Lola on June 23, 2013:
25 sucks ass. I live at home with my parents after graduating with honors from a great university and then failing out of med school because it turns out I had zero idea how to study (my fault, I know but I can still be pissed about it). I am in a dead end relationship with barely any friends and feel like dying all of the time. I thought by now I would be something other than a loser and a leach on my parents money.
Flashback on June 16, 2013:
Graduating in 2008 into the recession as a over educated under experienced jobless soul has taught me that if I did crap at school and just got a job flipping burgers at 16 I would be in a better financial position than I am in at the moment.
All of the teachers are liars and brain-washers in school and even at University. Some of the teachers have never had a real job in the real world yet they give out career advice.
To be honest education is the biggest waste of time, money and effort I have ever witnessed with 20:20 hindsight. I put in so much focus that I've never really had a long term GF, can't drive a car or a motor cycle, never had a forign holiday, got there own home. I have been living on benefits at my parents home since 2008. All this sacrifice for no reward, to say I'm a bit p*ssed off would be a understatement.
Yet every one I know who didn't go to university has got or had all of the above...........
And all that I've got to show for the last ten years is a piece of paper that says chemistry degree on it that employers don't give a toss about, well that's a sad position for a 27 year old to be in.
Kyle on March 26, 2013:
Wow, I searched the web on yahoo asking "do a lot of 24 year olds wonder about there place in life" and this came up. To be honest I feel better after reading these statements. I feel like I am still trying to find my place in the world. I have a good job that pays well, I'm not rich but definetly not struggling either. Do I enjoy the job? It's ok I guess. I have been doing it for 6.5 years. Am I passionate about the job? no. It is so much harder to meet girls now that I am not in school. Everybody is going in there own directions. People are getting married, having kids. I'm still single, work 50-60 hours a week. Is this really what my life is going to be like for the rest of my life? There has got to be more to life then this. In any case, I have made the decision to travel the world and take a gap year. I realize I am very fortunate then a lot of the worlds population, and am hoping that this gap year traveling helps me find some of the answers that I am looking for. I am glad to see that I am not alone with my feelings about being 24 (ok it's not 25 but in 6 months I will be).
Lsong on January 20, 2013:
I turned 25 two months ago, and I completely agree. It's nice to see so many people who are going through the same thing, or have gone through it. Thanks :-)
S on December 21, 2012:
A terrible and insensitive post. In one part you make the assumption that everybody is even in a relationship at 25. My brother is 27 and has NEVER had a relationship, he also plays music and doesn't consider 25 at all too old to become a professional artist if you are good enough - this is proven by the history of popular music; most artists worht their salt don't create anything great until at least their mid/late-twenties. As another poster commented your 'crisis' seems to be about keeping up the the Jones's. Rather than put people at ease by sharing your condition you make those with less experience than you or those who are older feel even more alienated.
jnGrl on November 04, 2012:
I'm turning 25 in 5 months. I graduated university and moved out to LA. All those years busting my butt in college paid off: I landed my dream-job right out of college. I'm doing what I love, I have my own place, and am financially stable- not to mention I am extremely happy. I discovered myself, who I am, achieved what I wanted out of life, and learned to love myself. So far, 25's looking awesome...... except I ended up missing out on relationship opportunities because I was so focused on reaching for my dreams that now I feel very insecure because I'm turning 25 and I'm still a virgin. I guess now I can have the fun I missed out on because everything else is taken care of... but it doesn't help my anxiety over it though...
Beirut and I on November 02, 2012:
I thought i was alone.. when i heard the "you're 25 now what?" voice! http://3tre.livejournal.com/36625.html
Mjl on October 21, 2012:
I turned 25 this year, I will be 26 in a few months. I know exactly how it feels. It's like I was 8 three days ago. What happened? Where did the years go? I was 24 when I graduated from University in a tough economy. Couldn't find a decent job. I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if my engineering knowledge actually landed me a job. Most of my friends are getting married with great careers and bright futures. On the other hand, I am doing a job that pays bad which I really don't like for the last six years or so. I feel I am missing out on my full potential, still struggling to find my path. I guess the best approach to turning 25 is to go out and have fun. The last 2 years, I traveled around the world and met some great people along the way. While in University, I forgot who I was.
Loser on October 18, 2012:
I would rather die than turn this age called 26 which I have turned already
Cajun86 on October 18, 2012:
I just turned 26 yesterday and feel like trash. I am so depressed that I want to die. This web page made me feel even worse. I have not been able to do anything I hoped to do by this time of my life. I know nobody will care in here anyway. I hate myself and wish I was dead.
HateMyLife on October 15, 2012:
I turn 25 next month and have not been able to do anything I hoped I would do. Life has hated me since the day I was born... Everytime I get somewhere in life, life just keeps smacking me down. I am at the point where I have given up, can't wait to die. Once I turn 25, I plan on staying in my bed till I die and rot.
27 on October 06, 2012:
I am 27 and I've been depressed for at least 2 years. I dropped out of college to move to another country. I am happy about that and I consider that somewhat of an accomplishment although it took me too many years to settle down. But now I just feel stuck because I was young and stupid and didn't plan ahead. I still don't know what to do for living, been surviving on seasonal and temporary jobs. I need to get local education but I'm so afraid of commitment. What if I don't get a good job after I invest money in college? What if I hate it in a couple of years? On top of that I am finally divorcing my husband of 5 years. We got married for all the wrong reasons and he is clearly not the man of my dreams. But I've got so attached to him over the years that the separation is killing me. This has been my longest relationship and I have completely lost myself in it. I feel like no other man will love me as much as he did and accept me with all my flaws like he did. Not mentioning that I am not getting any younger and prettier. I also need to get back on my feet financially so job and shelter are my priority at the moment, and I can only dream of going back to school... Oh, and because of my depression I've become paranoid and anti-social and have zero friends which makes my situation nearly unbearable. I can't afford to move away or go on vacation to get better, have no idea what to do next other than every day convincing myself not to give up.
Ashok on September 25, 2012:
Who the hell are you??.........Man i am 25 and i feel like you just cut paste what actually happening with me.......Damn every line ,every word just the same.....Thanks for giving me something to think about............I mean it.......Thank You
dre on August 30, 2012:
Yea i am reaserching different articles that provide infromation on individuals turning twenty five. I am so stuck, i have a job that pays ok, but i dont really like it. everything else is going good, i have a GF and we are happy but i just feel like i am missing out on life. I feel like i need to get away and that i am not living to my full pontentiol. what should i do?
isabella on July 30, 2012:
I am SO happy I read this! I just turned 25. I've accomplished a lot but not everything I had hoped, planned, and worked so hard for in college. I moved to DC 3 years ago from the west coast and have been able to travel a bit and work some cool jobs. However, I'm not doing what I want and feel so depressed about it sometimes (which is rare since I'm very positive and optimistic, but sometimes you just hit a wall). I was recently demoted (on the day of my 25th birthday) from my job and decided to quit and bartend instead. The sad thing is, I was a straight A honors student in college who worked my butt off in DC for the past 2 years to only end up getting demoted. A real blow to the ol' ego, eh! I'm living with my boyfriend of almost 2 years and we talk of marriage but haven't sealed the deal. He's great but is he the one? I'd like to think so, but his ambitions aren't as grandiose as I'd like. However, the guys with the great jobs and ambitions are total jerks here! My bf treats me like a queen and supports the hell outta me in everything I do, but he still has some immature tendencies that a 30-year old should have given up years ago (things I gave up in college). I've never been this confused before in my life! I guess I saw myself finishing law school by now, taking the Bar, and practicing at an awesome firm on the east coast by now with an awesome car, sweet condo, and an assortment of fancy watches and clothes to choose from. I have NONE of that. But lately, I've taken it upon myself to direct myself into WHO I WANT TO BE. I've applied for jobs that actually suit me and don't necessarily have a fancy title, and have stopped comparing myself to my friends who have the blingy engagement ring, perfect job, and perfect life. I am not perfect like I once was, but I am closer to finding myself.
ray on July 18, 2012:
Turning 26 in a month or so, never had a real gf, still stayin with my mom (parents got divorced), sister's got divorced too, I somewhat fear what would happen in the next few years, before hitting 30 landmark and maybe even further. Currently working at a private firm, but how I wish I could do more to gain more money to enjoy a better life. I've only managed to get a college diploma so my options might be a bit limited. After reading most of the comments, I felt slightly relieved knowing that Im not the only who's dealing with these kind of problems. Be strong guys, cheers.
kimora on July 15, 2012:
I read every single comment on this blog, as I have been feeling the exact same way. I am 22 and went to uni studying my my undergrad BA in Psychology/Drama Theatre and Performance Studies at 19. I passed first year, and second year I had a lot of disrupts and it was because I moved back home and commuted, and when my mother kicked me and my sister out and paid for our houseshares, that's when my life turned upside down. I had to move out my houseshare before the contract was up, as my lanlord didn't want me bringing any males over, which is pretty sexist. On my last day I was packing, to leave my mother told me last min, she feels the next houseshare I'm moving to is too expensive for her. So basically I was screwed I had nowhere to live, and going back to live with her was not an option. The landlord at my new houseshare, was not there and a tenant living there told me he gave it to someone else. I then took the offer to stay with my older cousin, and I stayed at her place for a week then left due to stress and then three months at my nans on my fathers side. I then got forced to move back home, and my mother gave me hell! She did not want me home, despite I was in my second year of uni full time. I was not allowed to use the internet, as according to her I was not working to help pay bills. I had no love and support from her, and this left me into depression and I ended up failing second year due to being stressed and unsettled and even sick! My uni did not help me either. I got my studies terminated despite I passed my re-take exams. What's even more sad is if I had not moved back home in my second year none of this, would have happened. I regret not living near my uni. I would have graduated this month! And what's so annoying is the uni, did not give me a chance straight away, in 2011 to re-take second year. I threatened to sue them for not letting me know that that me appealing to stay on my studies, was a waste of time because they had already made the decision in sept 2011. If I had known I would have transferred to another uni. As I threatened them for wasting my time, and delaying my life plans Psychology decided to let me back on 2012 sept this year, but what's the point if they can mess with my life again? I am going back to uni this year in a different uni to get my degree, I won't let nothing or no one get in the way of my goals and dreams! And no one should in life allow that. Know your rights. And fight for what you believe in everyone. Its delayed a lot as I was even going to pursue a career in singing and music, after I graduated but I've decided that I will do both as now I am running out of time.
freeee on June 21, 2012:
You're nowhere near Mid life crisis haha at 25? are you serious but i know your just talking about the feeling you got we are way to young to be thinking like this im 24 and when I turn 25 the last way ill think is like this, lets face it 25 is indeed young very young if you actually think about it.
freeee on June 21, 2012:
You're nowhere near Mid life crisis? but i know your just talking about the feeling you got we are way to young to be thinking like this im 24 and when I turn 25 the last way ill think is like this, lets face it 25 is indeed young very young if you actually think about it.
Cee on June 21, 2012:
After reading this hub, I feel so much better. I thought I was alone in the world. I felt like I woke up one day and just realise that I had wasted 7 years working in a job I didn't like and putting everything on hold till I completed my degree. Its been two years and I am single but this time it is not by choice, I still work in the same job, no children and 30 is knocking very loudly. I do hope 25 gets better. Thank you though for this post and making me aware that I am not the only one.
Nicole on June 09, 2012:
I'll be turning 25 tomorrow. I'm
single, no kids, still living at home with my mum. I've been
working since I was 18 and now, panicking that I have nothing to show for it, have just take out a loan so I can buy a car next week. I'm still not happy. I've been working in boring admin jobs for the last 7 years and I finally found a job that I don't hate waking up for, isn't boring with nice people to work for and I'm still not happy.
I've been single for 2 years, never had a serious long term relationship. My longest relationship has been 3 months and my last boyfriend felt I rushed him into being in a committed relationship with me. Men don't even look at me like they did when I was younger. I never thought at 25 I would wish to be 18 again. I had my pick of men and now I fear I smell of desperation. Sounds pathetic, but my friends are in long term relationships with kids and I've never even been in love. Happy birthday to me- single, ugly, unloved and only have 30 ahead of me. Cheers
Anshy on June 08, 2012:
I'm 25 now .. and you just tells what I feel deep in my heart but also I feel that I became too old like 82 I'm not satisfied with all what I did or get I'm working in information technology too and I don't like my work, I break up with my boyfriend .. and I want now is a new start a new city anew people around and a new everything , but in my country in my religion and to my family I'm prevented from moving alone and I believe that's the way my life will keep on and I will be crazy in the coming few years .
spoonage from New Jersey on May 25, 2012:
It's funny how ubiquitous all of this is. I came across this hub after writing one of my own about the very same type of situation. Suddenly all the passions that you felt were ok to push to the side come rushing in, demanding they get their due before it's too late. Now I am in the midst of figuring out how to acknowledge them without going homeless or hungry. Thanks for the commiseration!
Here's the hub I wrote: https://hubpages.com/relationships/Crisis-at-25-an...
Jasmin on May 24, 2012:
Love this - Interesting though, this was written awhile ago..be interesting to know how you feel now coming up to what would be 30? xxx Peace
Jennie on May 20, 2012:
Well, sounds like you had a good life though... My teens were not about parties... they were about surviving depression, remember that not everyone enjoys their teenage time. I have spent half my life already on worrying, planning, trying to figure out what to do with life, and I'm only 24. So not everyone has an easy, good time when they are teens... Just a note :)
Anonymous on May 15, 2012:
I am 21 and passed my grade 12 one year ago i'm not studyng coz am struggling with finance. My wsh is tht when i reach 25 i'l be nt datng coz datng causes me a lot of stress bcoz i always get wrong guys for me.
khaled on May 14, 2012:
great article ... ur hub actually crossed the atlantic lol cause im from egypt and im turning 25 after couples of monthes and since a while and im thinking the same way u r thinking im waiting for the right one .. i don't like my job but it paid well .. looking back for my pasions and like i lost it .. even when i watch a movie or a song i enjoy watching and listening stuff from my earler twintys years age ... thinking about my relationships years ago and how i cant love anyone those days like always asking my self she is not the right one ... so i went to google desperate and typed " feel like my youth stopped years ago " waiting what the google's tide would bring :) and ur page showed up and i found im not the only one ... but feeling u r not the only one is not a cure actually and even with reading the comments below we r all hitting the 25 and turning 25 we need the old folks to tell us about it :)
Eric on May 13, 2012:
I think this is was what's wrong with me... I feel like shit.
I cant stop thinking of my past and all the things I did wrong in my last relationship that I screwed up. Now im a total looser and am miserable. My life sucks, i feel like I can't love anything anymore.
Miss v on May 12, 2012:
In my early 20's (21-23) I was single (by choice), carefree and traveling while holding up a ave paying full time job and living at my studio by the sea. Life seemed beautiful because I had choices of men throwing themselves at me or at "my life". I was popular and always the one who experience more. Then suddenly, I found out my stepfather had a two year affair. My mother was a complete mess and so was I.. I felt as though I was her. I dived into a deep depression (and all the feelings of rejection and gulit from childhood spring to me all at once) hence, the other reason why I didn't want to be in a relationship with any men no matter how good they were..
Then I met this man I fell deeply in lust but ended quickly(like all good things)
I spent my 24 soul searching and getting back on track to "find myself again" or to be "that carefree" girl again. I started to open myself to new experiences and people.
I just turned 26 this month, have been in a two year relationship with a partner whom is loyal, loving and a great company, I'm back living with my parents because at 25 I decided to pursue a different career. I want to see how far I can go. My degree is for 5 years. And I haven't even got through the full first year yet. I'm living in the lounge room for the past year because since I'm not working. This is better than nothing.
My social life has been pretty non exisistent (I hardly drink or party anymore) I spend most of my time focusing on my studies. Any free time is left to family, tv, boyfriend, good friends and my health & wellness.
Sometimes, others will ask, why do I make these choices of studying again. When I can be earning lots of money at a big firm(which I was when I was 24), have my own place and not live out of a shoebox.
But the way I see life us, whenever you are, you always wish for something better, you think the grass us greener on the other side. Sure, I'm only 26 and although those thoughts in the article did come up in the beginning. But you have to STOP and be grateful and realize, that the fun only stops when you stop. It's a choice, just like happiness. Early 20s is a ballgame of dating games, late nights and travels. Mid 20s will be a whole new different ball game. Why would you want to be stuck in one place for the extended period of time? You can still have your old self"because its YOU" but minus the stupidity. Being 25 is a new experience of it's own. Sure I can be out partying non stop but when the party's over and you wake up and your 40. You'll wish you did more.
There's alot of 25 year olds that are forced into marriage in this world or millionaires having to confine and define their career by what is left and expected of them by their parents. FEAR IS ALWAYS THERE. But hope is greater than fear. Learn to appreciate your situation because once your onto your next, you'll wish you were back where you were.
I may be living in a lounge room of my parentals and at times the downgrade drives me mad but I'm closer that ever to my 14 YO brother whom I'm learning more about life through he's eyes. I have a great partner where sometimes I'm bored of the relationship (because of how much of a wildchild I was) but I'm willing to learn and appreciate the stability and love that is offered to me. I don't analyses how narrow the men pool is (things women, mothers, gfs, panick over) I just think, "love takes time" and when it comes to marriage. Like everything else in life it's a working progress and as long as your mind is open and your heart is warm. Things will work out.
I learn so much about being able to save on a student budget that even if I graduate at the age of 30. I'm still confident that I wi be well off. There alot of people with high paying jobs at any age where they simply don't know how to save. That's what keeps them chain to the desk and their bosses.
I'm proud of taking the step and the choices of pursuing my education of becoming a dermatologist. Choices I wouldn't been able to make if I was 20. As you grow old, people change, things fall apart, but you MUST try to see things through eyes of half full. Life will give you more.
And as for my friends whom I haven't seen in months due to study? Well all 20 of them turned up at my birthday dinner this year. I'm so grateful for life, for giving me a second chance to experience a different sort of love(my partner), of getting to experience and offer guidance to my little brother, of learning to love my parents even though have flaws and make mistakes like the rest of us, of appreciating just how lucky and blessed of my friendships even though I don't have enough time to see them.
Most of all, learning that at 25. It's really just a number. You can be 35 and feel the way you do now. But take a chance and soon you will see that you are very lucky than the rest in the world. :)
25 years mother nd wife on May 12, 2012:
I just want to be carefree find a job to support my 2 dotahs nd leave my unsupportive husband.
johnterry on May 09, 2012:
I will be turning 25 tomorrow. I am still not settled but I always think of positive things that will come up in my life.
Jenn T on May 07, 2012:
Ha ha I'm turning 36 and I have never been more at peace with life. But when I was 22 I felt how you feel. Do what is in front of you and let god handle the rest. Plus get Botox and your age will go up but your wrinles won't. Oh and by the way I'm getting married for the first time at 36. Take your time remember not in your time in gods time.
Megan on May 04, 2012:
I turned 25 6 months ago. I found the following ways to deal with my life: first the less you say the better. Lie about everything, then do whatever you want. Spend time with people your own age who are doing the same things or are in the same life stage as you. Apparently most everyone finds some significant other by the age of 30, maybe 35 the worst. But if you're still single at 35 and don't want to be hopefully by that age you'll only have to worry about one thing, rather than a whole bunch of things. Also if you are studying or wanting to study just do it part-time and keep working, then you get the best of both worlds. Also its never too late to study and lastly you're only going to get older. Another thing, just go and do the things you like, because thats the best way to find like minded people, especially a future partner. Embrace age, maturity is good, doesn't mean you cant still have fun, maybe you just have to reduce it to certain people and places. And stop thinking about yourself becoming older start thinking of it as a way to become a more trusting person who people can rely on. Everyone even young people admire qualities like that, and you cant be trusting and responsible without also being mature. Otherwise think of the mess the world would be in. Just make sure you have somewhere you can vent your immaturity into. No body wants to be mature all the time or expects you to be, just were it matters. But some people will come down on you, like my family and my ex, and I say to that, nah ah, I am way too young to throw away the chase. Settle down they say? Settling down is for people who are fulfilled and satisfied with their lives, thats not me yet and I refuse to settle down with a bunch of stuff I don't like. The way I see it, if Im not tied down with a mortgage or a life partner or kids, Im still free to chase my dreams. If you can keep your sense of humour life will never be too hard and don't expect too much just work on getting the experiences you want. If you think age is a stigma now wait till your like 70. Also if you're in a relationship but don't think they're the one, maybe you should leave them, but my suggestion is wait until you r over your mid-life crisis first, because I know perfectly well that after leaving my boyfriend, I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I have a feeling once this mid-life crisis is over I will know then, although I really did not want to be with him anymore so.... I think my senses were right, and now that Im single I feel kind of relieved, because life is short after all, who knows maybe when Im 30 Ill regret it, but maybe if Id stayed I would have regretted it then as well... I hate this quarter life crisis!
myc on May 02, 2012:
kurt cobain died at 27, he's in the 27 forever club? nvm
Quake-sama on April 29, 2012:
What if u are turning 25, and you feel like u´ve trhown away all your youth, u´ve had no life because of being studying day and night, no relationships and almost no friends,and when u open ur eyes u are all alone, and you start wondering what would have happened if u had made things other way?
Kate on April 20, 2012:
Me too.
Liz* on April 18, 2012:
Wow I can't believe I came across this and I can't believe how many people responded to this blog! I know its been said by a lot of others but I too felt Luke when I was reading it that I wrote it! I'm 25 turning 26 in a week and I've been feeling the same exact way and thought it was just me in my head. I can't believe how many feel the same I must say its a sigh of relief. Unlike the writer I left home at 18 and was lucky enough to find a job in sales where I could travel the country and I was making 6 figures a year at such a young age that I got sucked in. It wasn't the most professional job it was totally legal and I loves it I sold steak and seafood door to door and got to live all over CA, NV, OR, and four islands in Hawaii and I felt so blessed to have experienced that at such a young age. Unfortunately by my 25 th birthday the office I was currently in in Hawaii shut down and I never wanted to leave the islands after being out there for so long but I was forced to go back to the mainland due to lack of jobs and the economy. Long story short I'm now living back at my parents having being young and foolishly spending the majority of the good money I had made over the years and now I feel like I'm back at square one. I didn't go to college because I was doing so well at such a young age I didn't think I needed to further my education but now that I've had a taste of the good life and traveling I want more and I want a career that can take me there and I feel like at 26 am I too old to start over and do all the things I wanted to do when I was 18? I wanted to go to school for fashion and be successful in LA or NY or be an actress or be a marine biologist or get my helicopter license and travel to Italy and Paris and Australia and go back packing through Europe. I've learned so much and have been blessed at such a young age but was it worth it? I'm also now single as of the last two weeks for the first time in 5 years and I am also afraid what if I end up that 40 year old women who's the only one not married with a family? I too have noticed after coming back to my home town from being gone for almost 8 years that the majority of my friends are either married or have kids or both and as happy as I am for them its exausting and kind of frustrating. I guess my question is when did 25 become the new 35? Is it because of that, that I feel so rushed to have so much more accomplished by now and if so why is everyone in such a hurry? What happened to taking time to enjoy life and not jump into being our parents? Well for anyone that's read this ill take any advice you have and for those of you reading this who aren't yet 25 my only advice to you is live your life to the fullest and don't be afraid and listen to anyone but your own intuition just make sure you have long term plans to go along with the short term and don't be afraid to experience life to the fullest. Embrace it because we only live once and remember to live in today because tomorrow is never promised! Aloha*
Cooter on April 18, 2012:
25 is old, that's why! Grandpa!
rb101182 (author) from Los Angeles, CA on April 15, 2012:
Martina - I just graduated college in January and I'm 29 now! I switched majors from communications to business which took longer, but definitely worth it. It's never too late!
Chris - I actually started doing staffing consulting, so basically I work as an in-house recruiter on contract assignments - so they pay a really high hourly rate, I make my own hours, and when the contract ends I can take as much time off as I need until I find a new assignment (most contracts can last up to 6 months - a year, sometimes longer). And I still write on the side :) I highly recommend it!
Martina on April 15, 2012:
Hi All, I've turned 25 in January and I have exactly the same feelings,thoughts and problems . What a surprise :) But I am glad to see I am not alone.
I've got my Bachelor degree last june , I studied business administration, I thought I liked it. But recently I realized that what really makes me happy is when I communicate with people and when I can help them, I did a research and I found out that I am really interested in Psychology and that Psychology fits the things I like to do. But can I let everything and start from scratch ? If I do that I will be around 30 when I graduate, is it too late or I should go for what I feel is my passion ? I am really lost and insecure of making such a big step and I would be very grateful if someone would share his opinion about my situation. Should I concentrate on what I have achieved till now or should I go for something totally new ?
Thanks a lot in advance
Chris on April 10, 2012:
Wow. I am also an IT recruiter, 25, and absolutely cannot stand it! I take sick days to assist on photo productions and shoots, and plan to assist more and make it into commercial photog.
congrats on the book, really. that's a feat!
are you still working the day job, or writing full time?
Amanda on April 10, 2012:
i hit 25 in december 2011 i don't feel old, but how ever the sittuations that you see around you start to make you feel older, friends start to have children, settle down and get married,others are out following their careers and even travelling and all of a sudden everything and everyone around you know is changing and suddenly its not just a case of going out and getting drunk and finding that perfect outfit and the perfect man.It starts been about family and careers, i have started to look at life in a different way but i do not once regret anything i have done and have not done at the end of the day everybodys life is different and you can't compare yours to another persons.I find it harder to make new friends now than i did before, all of my friends have kids and i don't so i don't feel as connected to them as i use to because i don't share that life experience with them yet, im trying to concentrate on a career in the make up industry weather or not it gets me any were who knows but i love doing it and i love my partner who im gonna marry in 2 years and maybe one day we will have kids. Enoy your life its YOURS nobody elses and you are as young as you feel! when your 70/80 and you look back on your life would you really have seen your self as been old at 25/30/40/50/? NO YOU WOULDN'T SO JUST GO OUT THERE AND LIVE AND STOP WORRYING!!!!"XX