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Why do some Older Women date or marry Younger Men

Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.

Cougar Dating

Older women dating or marrying younger men is no longer looked with awe. I have seen many happily married older woman and younger man couples. The society has given the name Cougar Dating to relationships where older women is dating younger men which I think is very unkind and mean. When guys can date women who are old enough to be their daughters why can’t women do so? Isn’t this Hypocrisy or Double Standards?

What could be some of the reasons why some older women prefer younger men for love, marriage and sex? Given below is a list of possibilities.

Older Woman Younger Man relationships

Older Woman Younger Man relationships

12 Reasons why Older Woman prefers a Younger Man

Given below are 12 Reasons why an Older Woman may prefer a Younger Man for Relationship.

1) May be its Love: Who said an Older Women cannot fall in love with a younger man? After all, Love can happen to anyone at any time and it even makes people do strange things.

2) Not every Woman want a father figure: Often a man who is older assumes a protective and paternal role which is a major turn off to many women. Many women like to take care of themselves, speak on their own behalf and even paying their own way without the help. Many of them find their match in younger men.

3) Younger men are often better in bed: It is said that guys reach their sexual peak between the ages of 18 and 25 whereas women tend to reach their sexual peak mostly around ages 35-45. Older men mostly get disinterested or less eager in bed with time whereas younger men are eager and more satisfying in bed.

4) Younger Men are more encouraging: Younger guys are charmed by the maturity or accomplishments of Older Women and tend to admire or appreciate women who are successful. And every woman likes Compliments.

5) Younger guys are more open minded and older women find them a breath of fresh air.

6) Guys in their prime are physically attractive: Younger men with tight bodies, bright eyes, great smiles is a better catch as a romantic partner compared to a middle-aged men who are going through physical changes like balding, wrinkles or love handles.

7) To prove they can: Many Older Women get into affairs with younger men because they want to prove to themselves or others that they have the power to attract someone younger. An Older woman may feel devalued and degraded when she does not get the attention from her spouse after child bearing or several years of marriage that she feels the need to prove that she is desirable.

8) Girls just want to have fun: Many Older Women are young at heart and desire to have some fun like long drives, partying, trekking or staying out all night and find a willing partner in a younger man.

9)To feel younger: Younger men make Older Women feel younger. This is a natural response. Sometimes older men tend to slow down a bit too early for some women. Many Women feel their own youth disappearing as they enter middle age and are try to recapture it through younger men and experience the fun, excitement and vitality that they felt when they were young. Moreover, Modern Women hate to be branded as older especially when more and more women seem to be looking better in their forties and fifties.

10) Ego Boost: Dating or marrying a younger man is an ego boost especially to someone ignored or dumped by husband for a younger woman.

11) To Nurture and Dictate:Many Women want someone she can nurture or dictate. Especially women who lost their spouses to death or divorce and who have been accustomed to having someone to take care of for years and suddenly find themselves with no one to care for but themselves finds a good match in younger men. Such men also help to satisfy the mothering instinct in women.

12) Younger Men are forbidden fruit: The society is not very encouraging when it comes to older women younger men relationships. It is a normal tendency of people to rebel or go after what is ‘forbidden’

Finally, it is also said that Women usually live an average of ten years longer than men. So hooking up with a man ten years younger makes perfect sense. For whatever reason some women prefer men who are younger than themselves I think it is their own business. Age difference also should not be criteria to those who mutually respect and enjoy each others company. If an older woman and a younger man feel comfortable having a relationship then no one has the right to criticize them.


Fin from Barstow on April 30, 2018:

yes some good points especially with the longevity expectations....

Rohan Rinaldo Felix from Chennai, India on July 15, 2013:

I especially liked the last point... It is a scientific fact that we desire what is forbidden to us.

klovesc on May 25, 2013:

I am so happy to read everyone's comments....I was ready to gave up....I am 54 ...will be 55 on August a guy who just turned 31 in April. We love each other....He is so cute and smart, many women are attracted to him but...he chose me....but because of our 24 years difference, I hear rumors like he is using me for my money..Well! I am not rich. I don't give him money. I pay here and there and he pays here and there...just like any other couples. I feel sad when people spread negative rumors. We are dating for almost 8 months and still going strong!

mensavieja on August 10, 2012:

In my second marriage I married a youngman, caucasian, older by four years. I was mexican, divorced and had two children. He retuurned to the army (Vietnam era). Didn't communicate for two years. He found me. We have been married 45 years. He was kinder and more considerate and understanding, noncontrolling than the older men I'd previously dated. The youngermen were always sweeter and more gentle than the older men. They didn't carry a lot of baggage from the past with them. My youngman blushed the first time I said hello. He's mother was my patient. He was 6'3", considered very good looking. I was 5'2". We had one child together a girl, (31) who is about to make me a grandma at age 72. The baby (a girl) is due this Dec. 25th. We like everyone else worked through our problems. I met him when he was 19, and very green (if you get my drift), and now in my old age he is still very attentive as I am not well. In my case this is why I married a younger man. We were always two distinct personalities, he never imerged mine into his. It is such a blessing to grow old with someone who loves me as mch as I love him.

ann on May 19, 2012:

i'm dating a man who is younger then me twenty years younger . he's 49 and i am 69 . only one week into the relationship , he brought me flowers he's a sweet heart do every thing for me , call me everyday to see how i feel he tells me what he does each day , he's very honest so far,of course i am friends with his mother, not close, tells me he loves me , i have known him for twenty years , and his confession to me was he;s always been attracted to me . and i have been attracted to him, but we are seeing each other daily. i hoping we can keep this relationship going . we are taking it one day at a time for our reasons , we enjoy every moment together, he has captured half of my heart already. he says he think i can teach him the better thing in life and also he is a good christian . just easy now not in a rush ,

Rita on April 24, 2012:

I am a female exactly 20 years older than my now husband, I am 49 and he is 29, we met and became the best of friends first. After a year we married and are still the best of friends, i never stop learning from him and him from me. Age is not a factor in our marriage, nor is that i have two children close to his age and he has none. He claims he doesn't need or even want children all he needs is me in his life.

Visitor on April 03, 2012:

im 33 years old boy and she is 50 now we have been together for 3 years what do you think?

Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on March 21, 2012:


No need to warn. Men of all ages leave women of all ages, and men of all ages stay with women of all ages. If true love is there, it will last if both want it.


You said, "On the same token I would take an Asian woman because the know how to take care of themselves and will be devoted along with being great in bed. An older white or black woman can be very unattractive."

Who is lucky, the Asian or the Black and White older women? Let me answer that. The Black and Whote older women are! You want the Asian woman because she relieves you of any responsibility and can give you pleasure: take care of themselves, devoted, and great in bed--all in your favor, and you brought nothing to the table.

I just saw on Investigation Discovery an Asian woman who cleaned her rich American husband out, sent it to her family and put him to sleep permanently. He ordered the wrong bride. Sad. The world is sick all over. People do stupid things. I wonder if I can order someone. Ordering people! What is happening? World, wake up. It's a nightmare!

Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on March 21, 2012:

Older men are beginning to date and marry young women more. Younger men are not as prepared to marry as they once were. They are looking for older women to take care of them or work with them. Younger women want security and love and find it in older men who are more mature, more settled, have more money, more independent, experienced, and have Viagra to help ease the sexual symptoms of aging. Actually, older women do not attract older men as much as earlier times. Older and younger men are looking at the opposite generations, it seems. "Trading places" may be an appropriate description.

Marsha on March 18, 2012:

To Thechosenone :

I am curious on your input..You say you are 20 and your gf is 49?

I would very much like to get your advice and see your perspective on my situation. I am 41 and madly in love with a 19 yr old..he feels the same. We have been together 6 months and he pretty much moved in right away..I am a little concerned about some things and could use your advice on this..hope we can get in touch ,,thanks Marsha

Raj on March 14, 2012:

i am doctor ..working in mumbai..i was staying in mumbai as a paing guest ...because i was persuing MBBS.....i was staying with one women who was alone . she was also doctor ..and was 16 years elder to me ..but we got married ..and we are happy ...having own clinic

julian on March 09, 2012:

can 24 year old boy marry 25 year old girl ???

Terry on February 26, 2012:

I'm 28 and my girlfriend is 43. Our sexlife is better than any I've ever known. I love spending time with her. From her parents to her daughters, they treat me like I am part of their family. I do get nervous when she talks about marriage. I love where we are but have no idea where we are going.

fadi on February 26, 2012:

I will soon marry a older woman I am in love with her. and she is 14 years older than me.

Dave on February 19, 2012:

I stay within my own age group. No problem kids being my age and would never date a woman my mom's age.

Louis on February 19, 2012:

On the same token I would take an Asian woman

because the know how to take care of themselves and will be devoted along with being great in bed. An older white or black woman can be very unattractive.

Sher on February 16, 2012:

I have known my friend for 6 years now. As we both get older our love grows more as well. He is 16 yrs. younger, yet we have so much love for each other. It has nothing to do with anything other than who he is as a person. I have tried dating other people who are my age. He is the person I really love and he feels the same way about me.

Holly on February 16, 2012:

I think it's interesting that the article assumes age will determine things like how much of a "father figure" someone is and who is the most "nurturing." I am with a guy significantly younger than me, and he is very clearly (imo) the more nurturing and "in charge" one in the relationship. He is indeed very kind and caring and encouraging about doing this, but those 'roles' (though I hate using that term) are pretty apparent between us. I think it's wrong to assume that in such a relationship, the man is the one who is being "led." For us, that is definitely not the case...

Vicktor on February 14, 2012:

I think a man dates an older women because he cant get a decent one his age. Don't be fooled older women if a dood is 10 years younger he wont stay with u in ur senior citzen years u have been warned

Ronald on February 09, 2012:

What a pile of BS this is nothing is correct or helpful or true. People do not fit catagories or groups of age. Love is a choice and does not Happen to you, you decide it and it says a lot about you and your flaws and character. sorry guys, picking partners base on this BS is not Real or a basis for a real honest life. The truth is most young people don't know much or who they are and to describe people in these groups as if they have anything in common is so stupid i am so surprised that people even read or much worse consider the posibility thaty this BS has any merit or relationship to any reality. It's a sad scam to try to suggest that this advise is anything but a scam to make money off poor sad and desparate readers. You should be ashmed and even more if you try to justify this crap.

Sandra on February 08, 2012:

To catsmeow, Good for you!! The last guy I dated was 17 years my junior and was fantastic in every way! No old men for me. I am 56 and men think I am 46 because I work out every day. I hope you have as much enjoyment as I do, life is short so enjoy it!! You go girl!!! Sandra

catsmeow on February 08, 2012:

@Reg, I am 53 and my lover is 31. He is 6"4" and drop dead gorgeous man with ripped body most women drool over but he chose me over those younger women. And FYI, he has never dated older women until he met me.

Sandra on January 31, 2012:

All older women should try out a much younger guy at least once! I feel like a teenage girl again!!!!!!

grace on January 31, 2012:

thats right

Barbara Kreuzer on January 28, 2012:

I have the experience right in front of me,my son seemed to be in love with a 14-15 years older woman. And so she seemed to be in love with him very much. I worry only about ONE thing, : if she gets 60 years old, what is HE thinking about her, HOW he is LOOKING AT her then. His answer: we will not think about that NOW. I know my son can get fussy, when it comes to looks.

Tom on January 26, 2012:

looking at your hub makes me smile because

my girl friend is 41years old and am 24

and we re moving on well planning to get married

soon we been together for three years now..

paige on January 25, 2012:

i am 44 years old, and he is 21 years old i He works as a securtiy guard construction worker, we talk of and on,

last week i gaved him my email and my phone number but he has not emailed me or called me, So i assume that he is not interest in me but sometimes when i go outside or to my car he says hi, other time he walks away without saying anything to me but just looks at me for a second

so i think he is just being nice when he whants to be nice, i said sorry to him for giving my email and number to him he said thats okay, Ifegure i would leave him along on to day i was in a hurry i started to talk to the other guys, he saw mw and started to talk to me, then again later on he talked to me before he whent home, i said why did you ignore me other times he said will he said that he had to do his job, and he still lives with his parents, i told him if he whants to email me go ahead but no pressure, but he just looked at me and said nothing, does he like me or not am i to old for him and how do i know he likes me, even though he dosent email me then why does he bother to talk to me is he just being frienly i don't know, HELP

Ly on December 27, 2011:

Woman who like young man forgotten to look into their future, Once young man become a man. He going to want younger woman.

37m71 on December 26, 2011:

Cougars are eager

Boys don't drop in deep s--t. Its all havoc and chaos of harmones.better to change men'o'pause to boy'o'pause.

passer by on December 26, 2011:

All the Issues arise cause of not sticking by the rules.

1) Young men getting involved with older women either behinde the doors are open..[Guys behind the doors are the one having to face erecile dis functton.. cause they might have lost their mojo ]

2) Young Girls getting involved with older Guys either behind the doors are open.. []

passer by on December 26, 2011:

From my perspective, if its true love it'll be fine for the coples & ok if you are the type like - i don't care of what other's say.. or what my actions will send message to others. [for men and women Vise Versa]

But all are not true lovers... in this world of money, greed,...... etc., i.e Practical Women or Man are not really true lovers.

When Wise men say something is not good for self & society.. it's really not Good.. its a well thought about decession.

Thechosenone on December 23, 2011:

W- I'm in the vice versa situtation, but I am 19 and she is 48 :) We have just told my mom and her children ;)!

wendy on December 19, 2011:

I am going to be 45 yrs old next month and I am dating a man who just turned 23. Previous to this, I would have never, ever considered it for a seoond. I thought that a man in his 20's and that much younger than me would be rather immature, not have a clue as to a woman's needs and it would simply be sexual only (and I had never found myself attracted to younger men). In this case, I met him on FB & I did not know his age, he did not put his birthdate & he looked/acted more mature. Of course I knew he was a good deal younger than me but nowhere near this kind of disparity. He kept asking me to meet him 4 coffee. Finally I thought 'what the hell' & agreed. I had just gotten out of a very unfulfilling painful relationship w-a man my age...I thought life is 2 short...I can meet him, enjoy the company and move on. Turns out that we had lots in common, always something 2 talk about, the attraction was immediate, mutual & rather intense (not just physical/sexual...although YES that 2...but a bit deeper). We began seeing each other & really enjoying each other. Then I felt the sense of him backing up a bit so I thought what the hell am I doing, he will want a big family one day & it'll b unlikely that I can accommodate, he has been accepted to multiple law schools & I didn't want him holding back on career due to me, just many things kept going thru my head. I told him that it was best we stop this now b4 anyone gets hurt. He agreed unhappily. He asked can he please still talk to me some & I agreed. Within a week, he was contacting me telling me that he really missed me& wished I hadn't made this decision. I agreed & wanted to see him 2. We have been seeing each other since...several months now. It is not 'serious' as of yet, but we are seeing just each other. I believe we are both a bit afraid 4 our own reasons. He has never been in love...there is something sweet about his innocence & good heart. I am so physically/sexually attracted to this man...I cannot see straight when even thinking of being with him. He is more giving, accepting, loving, open, available and better sexually than any man I haave been with previously. I am still amazed...I guess it really depends on the person and there is always something 2 to life and myself. I am getting a bit more afraid b/c I can no longer deny that my feelings are certainlly growing 4 this man...he has expressed similar feelings. I guess I will continue to take it one day at a time and see where it goes. I can definitely see myself deeply falling in love with him if we continue. I guess that will just be ok and things will happen exactly as they should. I want to keep being relaxed and enjoying him though....I do not want my heart to get ahead of my brain here....that makes things blow up in my opinion....timing is everything. We will see...I am going to Xmas eve celebration with him and I will meet his parents....a bit nervous but all will work out. I am not bragging, I certainly have my issues, but I have been blessed as a late bloomer and I do not look even close to my age....most people think I am early 30's yet I am mid 40's. This is a so different thing....but it is passionate, sensual, sweet, beautful. I will not regret it no matter where the road takes me with this beautiful man!


morrigan on December 18, 2011:

I have read quite a few comments. I am just about to be 29 years old and my boyfriend is 21. I cry a lot because I feel like I'm doing something soo wrong. I feel a lot older than I really am and have such a low self esteem about my self, but I love him because he treats me better than anyone ever has. A lot of people say its okay since I'm under my thirties by one year :( but I don't want to be alone in my late thirties if he decides that that he made a mistake. I believe in karma and wonder what I did to deserve this situation. I have a huge fear of aging and I guess being with a younger guy is making it worse. I wish I could talk with someone that could help me understand if this is wrong or right or nothing to worry about. :'( -totally depressed.

zeena on December 16, 2011:

I am 49 year old married woman but no sexual relation with my husband since the last 10 years,I am dating with a 24 year man.

jerome on December 08, 2011:

am 39 and am in love with a 25 year old guy

but in my opinion guys of those ages always end up leaving older women for younger ones

they always never look a next older lady

i havnt been intimate with this guy

we only met on the internet a year ago

maybe i will give it a try

am not too sure

what do u think?

jerome on December 08, 2011:

im 16 and she 50

Thechosenone on December 08, 2011:

And seriously no one would even react to 7 years age difference...

Thechosenone on December 08, 2011:

If 29 years age gap can make it, I think 7 years do fine :)

nick on December 08, 2011:

im 20 live in autralia live in a small country town and have had many flings with younger girls over the years and i met a girl 7 years older than me and she thinks the age gap is to big admitily we have been physicall more then several times but the way the world view relationships she thinks it wont work it breaks my heart because ive never felt like this about a woman i wont give up even if it takes forever she is my ruca i don't see any problem in relationships like this as the article says older woman are equaly entitles to younger men as older men are to younger woman

Thechosenone on December 05, 2011:

Sadly this subject isn't widely spoken of yet today! I am a 20 year old guy who is currently dating a 49 year old woman, but all discussions concerning age difference is from a older man/ younger woman perspective :(

reg on December 02, 2011:

its like this......we guys like young women not old dried up westerised former promiscuous feminists. no matter what u say/write or do the majority of men will all ways go for a younger less used woman, its a social genetic thing thousands of years old which you cant change in jst a decade. If you doubt me then just go online to a dating website & count all the single 28 - 40yo women compared to 18 - 28 yo. numbers don't lie ladies. All these feel good posts are great for a short term confidence boost but deep down inside i think you all know your be a cougar & have great sex with younger men but hav little chance of long term happiness ...& thanks to to the rise of the modern promiscuous lady it means yov lost th power over men because we hav our pick of th bunch of younger not so smart women....good for us...bad for you & to top it off when 40 plus yo we can go marry a young sweet asian girl & get a prenup....why would we want an old bitter womans rights advocate??

rahul on November 27, 2011:

@ anamika i liked the content and that too i say that many things i related with myself and found relevant as i m 23 and i was hvng a gf a year ago now got break up and she was 48 and we enjoyed our sexuual life like anything though i will say that women are prettier in mature age as compared to young.... however i will wait for ur comments

pelt545 from Hampton Roads, VA on November 23, 2011:

Older women may be with younger men because they want to rejuvenate or feel younger again. They want to relive the fun times and so.

Other than that, older women may find unexpected love with and from younger men.

samiullah hussaini on November 20, 2011:

I love a Marci who's 37 and i'm younger to her, i look like 29. but she has issues that I look younger. I don't y? she has issues for me being young. can any body guide her. She is so beautiful, nice, caring and loving. really love her

Ntb48 on November 13, 2011:

Maybe because so many men are raised by single mothers, they feel comfortable with a mother figure continuing to take care of them. I guess it could solve the paternal need of the younger man and the empty nest maternal need of the women.

tasha on November 11, 2011:

I'm 28 my boyfriend is 26 been dating for almost a year now but I am now afraid that he is going ti run to someone younger

Al on November 11, 2011:

I'l never marry a younger woman cos I feel so attracted to the older. I feel sexually arouse more to an older woman. I feel more matured in thinking and many things along is regarded as fun to me. So who ever is not okay with it should find a wide way to Hell!

John Carpenter on November 02, 2011:

As someone who would qualify as an older man (I'm guessing for the purposes of this blog it would be a male older than 30, let me assume the roleof Devil's advocate and make a case for the older male:

1. "Not every woman wants a father figure." True but not every woman is antagonistic to one, either. It would depend on the woman'srelationship with her father. Did he treat her as one of the greatest gifts life had given him? Was he there with unconditional love? Could she come to him under any circumstance and know he would be her staunchest ally? Did he teach her that she had the resources and strength to make her way in the world? At the same time not every older man wants to be a father figure and some find the idea of being a "benevolent monarch" to a younger wife reprehensible because it is a form of passive-aggressive domineering.

Finally, I would propose that just as many young men attempt to control their wives as

older men.

2) "Younger men are often better in bed".

An interesting notion but one which has not found much support by research. I will cite just one study that perpetuates this fiction:

"London (Reuters) – Older men are better lovers and have fewer impotence problems than their younger counterparts, with the “male menopause” a myth pedaled by drug companies to sell their products, according to a British psychologist.

Dr. Lorraine Boule, from Sheffield University in northern England, told the British Psychological Society conference that men became more skilled sexually as they get older, British newspapers reported on Saturday.

“Older men sustain erections for longer, are longer coming to orgasm, and satisfy women better. Sexual activity does diminish with age, but the quality should get better,” she was quoted as saying by the Daily Mail.

Boule’s conclusions were based on a survey of 185 married professional men aged 30 to 60. While 22 percent of men under 46 suffered erectile problems, only 16 percent of those over 46 dead."

Even the most conservative interpretation of this research would suggest there are advantages held by older men in terms of less sexual dysfunction and an ability to postpone orgasm longer, which, all things being equal, is a plus for the woman.

3) "Younger guys are more encouraging."

...And again research suggests aspectsof the equation ignored by anecdote. A study of 2,000,000 Danish couples indicated a woman'slife expectancy decreased by an average of 11% if married to a man 7-9 years younger than herself. A german study suggested mortality increased by 20%. The reasons are unclea, although a prime suspect is stress: will the younger man eventually stray? Attempt to appropriate assets belonging to an older woman? Feel unsatisfied without children? Again what seems intuitively obvious is always not the case.

4) "Younger guys are more open minded."

With respect to what? And even if they are does this advantage nullify the fact that nearly 70% of all cases of domestic violence are committed by men between 18-34 and that almost 90% of such crimes are committred by men between 18-45? Do men

over 45% assault their romantic partners or wives? Absolutely. But only one in 15 assaults of this kind are committed by men over 45.

5) "Younger guys are more attractive."

No contest--to a point. I would suggest, however, it's not a hard and fast rule. Just as some women older than 45 are more beautiful than those in their 20's; I've seen men in their 60's more attractive than guys in their 30's. And in the end, age is that 'layer up of beauty' and the compensation for the average lookiong guy is one that Shakespeare mentioned: the passage of time robs more from the beautiful than it does the man of a less pleasing youthful countenance.

The other advantages--to feel younger, to prove they can, to have fun... to each his own.

I would suggest there is a gross contradiction in this list: the older woman finds it appropriate to allow her maternal instincts to be directed at a younger man but it

is considered invasive for the older man to perhaps wish to express his "paternal" instincts in a union with a younger woman.

That seems to me an obvious double standard.

Let me say that at the end of the day I feel it is completely understandable why an older woman would be attracted and perhaps prefer a younger man. I am not in any way embarrased or feel the need to justify my attraction to younger women. One should keep in mind that just as all that glitters is not gold, all that is gold does not

glitter. The older man--and I feel no sense of arrogance for suggesting this--can bring things to the table that a younger man--at least the overwhelming majority

cannot because they have many more years to learmn important lessons. Since I've

committed many sins of ommission and commission, I do not feel I possess the right to judge or accuse a woman for whatever misdemeanors lie in her past. Similarly, at 30, I was ignorant of how devastating a single, cruel word could be and how one kind word could warm three winter months. Nor, having seen the impossible happen in my life until I was 40, be able to speak with authority to a woman that she must never abandon her dreams.

The defense rests.

Nuelslove on November 01, 2011:

Having the foresight to anticipate the inevitables in a relationship is a sign of true maturity. Life is full of choices. Are you ready to take responsibility for the consequences of your choice?

eli on October 31, 2011:

i think society is pretty accepting of older women and younger guys. now if only they would stop demonizing older men with younger women...

Jobb Gosamo from Philippines on October 31, 2011:

My lady friend, quite a looker, is 40. In a party she met a young man who fell for her. Love at first sight it was for him. She dismissed him outright, thinking that his interest was solely to make a trophy out of her. He was relentless in his pursuit, and yes, she capitulated to his boyish charms. True, she is his trophy. Equally true too is he is her trophy. They've been married for 5 yrs. now and still on a honeymoon. The husband celebrated his 24th b'day last week. btw, great hub as always

hope on October 26, 2011:

i think the age difference between older women and young men shoud be one years to 3 years differences.

angela on October 26, 2011:

think about the good things you love or the happiest momentin your relationship and i tell you ,you will be happy with your marriage

angela on October 26, 2011:

i don't think 2 years difference is something you need to be worried about if you are 28years and getting marriage to 30 years and you are competible,why not moving on.problems may sometimes arise but there is a saying that there is a way to every problems.always things about the good things you love about your wife and you will leave happly.

heather on October 24, 2011:

I am 25 and have been through a lot of broken relationships. I want someone that is real, and thatl treat me well, and so far everyone older than me and even a few years younger than me has turned out BAD! I don't want to play games, or to be used, hurt, or any of that stuff anymore...the guy I like seems real, honest, sweet, sayd nice things,and does mean it, and I think hed treat me well...this situation sucks because since he is younger, I can get into trouble, I could end up being considered a child molester and what not all because he isn't OF AGE! I don't think that is fare, because I am not looking for the sex and all that...I like him for him, and isn't that what matters? There needs 2 be different standards for people that are in this situation...we should all be able 2 be with who we want, love who we want if they are say 16 or older...when he turns 18 it won't matter, so y does it have 2 now? Any1 can tell I'm not a nasty child molester, so I think the laws need changed up a little...

singa on October 12, 2011:

i am 28 years old man and i am going to marry 30 year women. Its an arranged marriage. Will i face any problem in future:)

Israel on October 10, 2011:

I am 21 years old. I met my girlfriend/wife online. She's 26. I honestly appreciate this page link alot.

Age is nothing. long being at least both are past 18 years of age.

britney on October 05, 2011:

my mom is dateing someone my borther age and its just nasty to me patra jones

Scal373 on October 01, 2011:

I am 22 years old and my boyfriend will be 41 next month. I have never been happier in a relationship. We have the same interests, and same sense of humor. I think that if an older woman wanted to date a younger man that she's got every right to do so.

netmech on September 07, 2011:

I think its a choice wether a young man marries an old woman/an old woman marries a younger man.... believe it or not 'age is nothing but a number'... lol

Trisha on September 05, 2011:

My sister, who is pretty enough to be a model, divorced her husband who became a slob. She has been divorced several years and while dating discovered than men close to her age had problems of all sorts ,so she started dating younger men. She has no interest in being married and is very happy with her new life. She claims that guys at least 10 years younger but no younger than 15 years is ideal for her. Like she said many times,"Who wants to nurse an old man, when they could have a physicaly fit, hansome, buff hunk?" After 12 years of dating, I have never seen her more happy!

unanimous on August 23, 2011:

i am 42 yr old female my husband is 56 we got together about 15 yrs ago things were great had many things in common interest likes and dislikes . but now i love him to pieces and think he is not interested in me much anymore. so i don't always think in the long run its ok for a older man to persue a much younger gal take her youth yrs then take off or hate her and be cruel mentally to her.

Amy on August 17, 2011:


The whole "women maintain their youth longer and live longer on average than men, so it's better for women to marry younger men unless they want to become a widow" is nothing but BS. Sorry but it is. Just because women have a higher life expectancy, it does not mean they will outlive the man in their life.

My grandmother was quite a few years older then my grandfather yet she passed away first. Women do not always outlive men.

freeboy on August 15, 2011:

totally agree with all dis stuff young men dating older women its doesn't matter if a guy at 20,22 or 23 get married to lady of mid 40, 42 or 48 they all have mind of their own and i believe they re all old enough to know what is good for them.

Broken Hearted 46ixer on August 11, 2011:

I am a woman that's been dating a younger man for two years now when I meet him through a chat line he said he was 30 yrs old at the time I was 44 and looking for a man between the ages of 40 to 45 and I was looking for just sex and that's all as months went by I found out his real age was 23 yrs old and my son who was 19 then said he rembered seeing him around school back then, but my boyfriend had told the truth and told me he was 23 yrs old I never dated someone that much younger then me before in my life I always dated men close to my age the youngest I dated before my boyfriend was 6 or 7 years younger then me when I was 42 back then. Now I'm 46 and my boyfriend is 25 and when I found out his age back then I wanted to break it off but my heart took over and got involved when I was just in it for the sex but the sad thing is my 25 year old boyfriend likes to flirt with other woman be it through a chat line, internet like moco space and face book of which I had him delete his account because of that he talks to other woman on the phone he says he don't cheat on me but to me sneaking and talking to other women behind my back when I ask him not to is cheating so now I ended our 2 years relationship I do love him deep down in my heart but I can't take this anymore I'm to old to be worrying about if he's sleeping with these other women he's flirting with behind my back. My advice to women who date younger men is to don't do it especially if the age difference is 22 years apart, cause you cannot compete with the younger women with firmer breast tighter but and thigs and curvier bodies unless your a older woman that have a tight fitting body.

Thank You

mel on May 19, 2011:

To answer to anonymous 21 months ago, men's fertility also goes down with age and don't forget that. I am a woman in my forties and I am going out with a man who is 6 years younger, because I want a child and men's fertility drops too with age and my chances of getting pregnant are much higher if I have a younger man.

Women want to go out with younger men because women maintain their youth longer and live longer on average than men, so it's better for women to marry younger men unless they want to become a widow. Personally I like to wake up in the morning to see a face that has no wrinkles lying by me, rather than a wrinkled old man.

All my female friends are dating younger men as they feel that makes them feel young and good, if men can be mean about women aging, we women can complain about aging wrinkled ugly older men.

Also to answer to anonymous 21 months ago, men don't go out with older women because they can't get women their own age, they want older women. Often you find it is very attractive men that date older women, the ugly younger men older women don't seek.

PinkNavyWife from NAS Whidbey, WA on April 22, 2011:

For me it was love. I was 34 when I met my hubby who was 19. He told me that he wanted to date me to get to know me and share his life. I cant refuse an offer like that

CynthiaPlaid from London, UK on January 29, 2011:

Maturity is definitely the level of distinction. The interesting intellect, the reminiscing if you like that. The experience full of wonder and class.

mathew on January 28, 2011:

when i was 21 years had a girl friend who was 44.we had relation for 4 years. i am ready to say anywhere that the best sex is a boy in early 20's having with a lady in her mid 40's. amazing

Hans Singh on December 23, 2010:

If you ever want a true cougars perspective on your writing feel free to contact me. I am more than happy to give you feedback from an older woman regarding younger men.

Susan on October 14, 2010:

What about my son who is 22 and seeing a married, 48 year woman?

Jennifer on June 25, 2010:

I can honestly say from the perspective of an older woman who has dated older and younger men that younger men often don't have near as many issues as older men do. My older men often had families and health issues. They were concerned about their ability to keep a women younger than themselves happy, as well as the whole erectile dysfunctional issue. I discovered younger men in my early 30's and know that they are far less complicated. They don't have the same worries and issues that accompany older man younger woman relationships. I married early in life and my marriage ended when I was 29. I was not looking for a long lasting relationship after that point in my life. I was looking to have a good time and just live a little. I am now in my 40's and married to a man who is much younger than myself. My marriage to the younger man is far different than my first marriage to someone older than myself. He is more secure in his self and more secure in our relationship. The children I had during my first marriage are now grown and raising their own families and adore my younger husband. He treats them as equals and not baggage. He has the intelligence and ability to see life for what it is, a beautiful fun trip so don't sweat the stupid stuff. He supports my decision to better myself through education and exercise where my first husband was threatened by my growth as a person due to the fear I would outgrow him. I adore my younger husband. He keeps life fun. I have recently read articles that state marrying a younger man shortens your life, but in reality I would rather have 20 years with an incredible man than 40 years with a boring stick in the mud.

I recently asked him wouldn't he rather be with someone his own age, his response was younger women have to much drama in their life. I avoid drama at all cost. We often sit back and watch my daughters and the drama in their lives and count our blessings. Every thing to them is world ending. The same circumstance is simply an inconvenience to me. I don't have a fit when someone says something negative about me or to me. I simply smile and say I greatly appreciate your feedback but it is really not necessary. We will live our lives according to what we feel is appropriate, regardless of how others may interpret it.

You are only given one life, why worry about what others think or say. You cannot control the actions of others only your reaction to those actions. I am happy, he is happy the rest is just life.

I have read several of your post and agree with many of the reasons you listed in this article. Although I didn't marry my younger man to feel younger. I married a younger man so that he could enjoy my life with me. Men my own age would rather sit home and I want to be out there enjoying life. My younger man is right there with me enjoying it rather than sitting home hearing about my day at the end of it.

If you ever want a true cougars perspective on your writing feel free to contact me. I am more than happy to give you feedback from an older woman regarding younger men.

amit on May 21, 2010:

Annamika i like your comments this was very enjoyble.may i join your group

R3dcougar from Ireland on April 20, 2010:

I think another reason is that older women and younger men are actually quite compatible - many younger men are not looking for marriage and children but the women of their own age are pressuring them for those things. Most times, the mature women has already been there and done that and is at a point in her life where she just wants the 'fun' part of dating and not all the commitment and relationship issues. In many ways, the older women is more in sync with what a young man is looking for dating-wise.

prosmentor from Lagos, Nigeria on December 15, 2009:

They want to compliment for their old age.Some see it as a thing of pride to date or marry a younger person.

Sylvia Van Velzer from Hawaii on October 09, 2009:

Young, smart, strong, sounds good to me. It will work for some, and not necessarily for others. I wonder what it was like when nobody knew how to count, or read calendars? Great hub!

IsabellaRothchild from Orlando, FL on September 04, 2009:

I personally like #4 and #5. But I'd sure like your input on a couple cougar questions that arose at my home. I put them in my hub and the latest controversy was regarding the "sexual peak" debate. Could I get you to tell me your opinion?

Chris Eddy111 from Ontario, Canada on September 04, 2009:

Great coverage!! I think you got all of them. Speaking for myself, I like the harder, leaner body but he has to have skills which usually comes with lots of experience.

The name cougar doesn't bother me either. That is one hell of a wild animal so beware, lol.

Great hub.

sultana657 from Dhaka on August 31, 2009:

thnks for ur nice hub

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 30, 2009:

Kyle : Thanks for expressing your opinion on Reasons why Older Women prefer Younger Men.

Kyle on August 28, 2009:

I don't think the life expectancy is as dramatic as 10 years on average between men and women. Looking at developed countries it seems to be not that dramatic - 3-5 years usually.

I think it has a lot to do with #6 - most people of either gender find youth more appealing and attractive. All the rest is social conditioning/norms based on this.

I'm not buying #3 at all, I'm 23 but I'm willing to bet that most guys in their 30's still have high libido (and not much different than guys in their 20's) and a lot more sexual experience to back it up as well. Those "sexual peak" ages have always been a big myth and even the old guys just use viagra if they have ED.

Lgali on August 25, 2009:

another good hub lot of nice points thanks

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 24, 2009:

Thanks for expressing your Opinion.

anonymous on August 19, 2009:


On another note, there's 1 thing you didn't cover. If a woman wants to be a sugar mama or a man wants to be a sugar daddy, then that's fine, provided it's honest. You implied something bad about sugar daddies but if the woman is happy with the sugar daddy, then why should it matter for the same reason as if a woman is a sugar mama?

But getting to the main point, what has been my observation is that if a man is involved with a much older woman, the stigma isn't on the older woman. The fact is that it's much easier for a woman to get a man than vice versa. Hence, it's alot easier for an older woman to get a younger man than it is for an old man to get a young woman & this has been true since the start of time.

The stigma rather is on the young man. If a 24 year old man is involved with a 45 year old woman, people often wonder if the 24 year old man is desperate & this wonder does have justification. They often wonder in their mind "is this 24 year old man dating the 45 year old woman because he can't get dates with women his own age?"

Now don't misunderstand, if he is truly happy with the 45 year old woman, then there's no issue. But if he is seeing her because he can't get women his own age, then it's a different matter.

Also, what'll happen when he is older & wants children, which she won't be able to give him? As asked in my last post, should the older woman have an open relationship & allow the younger man to fool around with women his own age or younger? If the older woman is willing to allow him to have sexual relations with women his own age or younger & many sugar mamas do, then there's no issue.

When young men are asked if they would be willing to have a much older woman, an answer that is often given is only if the sugar mama will allow them to also have sex with women their age or younger, because they know the older woman won't give them the same sexual satisfaction that a younger woman can. The topic is more complex & complicated.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 15, 2009:

Babaji M P : If you look at the title it is about 'some men' liking older women. I am sure not everyone want a younger woman. Thanks for the comment.

Babaji M P on August 15, 2009:

Hi Anamika. Most of the men prefer to have a younger woman. I'm not an exception.

countrywomen from Washington, USA on August 13, 2009:

Oh I know. I was the oldest among all my cousins(girls) to be married when almost 26. And yes things are changing but not sure if everything is for better though.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 13, 2009:

countrywomen : Yes, you have got a point there. But if you notice the latest trends in marriage even in India girls are getting married only after their mid twenties or later and many even opt for living relationships.

mistyhorizon : I have several friends who live happily with their younger husbands too. If the couple is happy who are we to judge? Thanks for your input.

Cindy Lawson from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on August 13, 2009:

What a great article. I always preferred older men, but in general they have let me down and the relationships have failed. I am now with a man only 3 years older than me and it works great. Recently I have been to a friend's wedding however, and she is about 37 years old, whereas her new Husband is only about 25. They get on fabulously, and have been together at least four years before even getting married, what's more, he totally accepts, is happy with, and supports the fact, that due to Thyroid problems she has no hair anywhere on her body, including her head, and has to wear wigs. They are a perfect match in every way though, and I love both of them to bits.

countrywomen from Washington, USA on August 13, 2009:

Then Indian women would have to officially wait till 31 because the legal age for men to marry is 21 ;)

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 13, 2009:

countrywomen : Yes, Cultural upbringing could be a reason. But since Women usually live an average of ten years longer than men isn't it better to hook up with someone who is ten years younger? Thanks for the comment.

countrywomen from Washington, USA on August 13, 2009:

Anamika- I think it is also due to cultural upbringing that some women never consider younger men. In my family they say "never ask a woman's age and a man's income". But nowadays women are living longer than men and it makes more sense to almost be of the same age for companionship especially in old age when kids leave home.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 13, 2009:

attractnmarketing : I wholeheartedly agree with you. if the couple feels good about the relationship, why not? thanks for the comments.

Rosemary Leach from New Zealand on August 13, 2009:

Anamika I really enjoyed your hub, and I enjoyed reading the comments as well. I agree it is a matter of opinion. I have a friend whose partner is 7 yrs younger than her and she said she would never go out with an older man now. I believe if you get on well, enjoy your relationship, have fun, and have a great time why not. At the end of the day its how you both feel not what society thinks.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 13, 2009:

Thanks for expressing your Opinion Rob Dee. I have already written on why men prefer older women in another hub of mine.

Rob Dee from Florida on August 13, 2009:

i happen to like women older than me. They tend to have their lives together and seem to know what they want and who they are. Not to mention...well....nevermind.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 13, 2009:

Thanks for your comments anath.

Anath on August 13, 2009:

I was talking from my experience. I've been married to someone 10 years older than me and now I am going out with someone 10 years younger. Each has its pros and cons, but I am keeping the young one :-)

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 13, 2009:

I agree with you. Thanks judydianne for your inputs.

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