I was married in 1974 and got my first child in 1979, my second child was born in 1982, and we were working parents. I did not have any help from my side and had a little help from my husband's side. My husband took responsibility until 1983 and started to change from 1985 onwards. One of the reasons was that he was working all the time, and I did a part-time job but had a lot of flexibility in my posts.
Lost interest in the family
From 1985, he worked hard and did not take much responsibility in looking after the kids as he used to go to work when they went to school and came home after they went to bed. As the years went by, he tends to lose interest in the family as he had a lousy circle of workmates and got into a few bad habits and accidents due to .that he hospitalized a few times. Therefore, I had the full responsibility of looking after kids and their education as well.
I think most families who have an unsupportive husband due to reason like tiredness and had only weekends to stay with their families. Some husbands do not allow the wife to go to work because he was in full control of the family's finances, and there was no need for another income. In those cases, the husband must have had a very high paid responsible job that was good enough to support the family.
Highly paid jobs.
Therefore, what do you say about overworked husbands? Can you expect plenty of money for you, and at the same time, how can you expect real help? Don't you worry about his health? Doesn't he need a good rest during weekends? After taking all these into considerations, the conclusion is that these men work so hard because they love their family and provide a better lifestyle. Therefore, the wife also needs help that is understandable and agreeable with the kids. Then why not hire paid help to work around the house and to help with the kids.
Whereas the other type of husband does not work hard never tried anything always stayed in the comfort zone. Never decided to come out of the comfort zone and, at the same time do not want to help the wife in looking after the kids They attempted to take the advantage the mother loves the kid, and she will do everything to protect the kids and bring them up in a right way. These husbands are well aware that the kids looked after by the mother, so let me have a pleasant leisure time. It happens mainly because of the wife's fault, as she has not set up a disciplined program as far as the kid's things and household work. A woman has to impose strict instructions on the man like that. If not, the woman will lose her health in the end.
Provide equal contribution.
Kids are born for both parents so, why a woman should suffer. The equal contribution should come from the man in terms of physical, emotional, and financial help. When the kids grow up there, will not much housework, but there will be other issues like education they need to supported and guided through their educational life. So, what is man's contribution to that? Is the woman keeping up all the school visits and making decisions about their future education. One of the kids disabled due to some illness how the woman will cope with all that hard work
Let me talk about the good husbands willing to help the family every in my next article.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 17, 2020:
It's probably a good idea to discuss how the children are going to be raised before having them. It's also a very good idea to make sure he (really) wants to have children.
I suspect there are a lot of parents who "love their children" but if they had it to do all over they would either not have children or they would have had fewer of them.
It's not politically correct to admit.
Not every husband is "father material" and not every wife is "mother material". Just because someone produces a child doesn't mean they're going to become someone they are not.
Some people work long hours because they don't want to go home. Working from home during COVID-19 has caused some divorce filings.