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Why Women Hate Whining Men

Nyamweya is a columnist with a Kenyan print media.He is also a freelance writer with various online and offline media platforms


Listen guys. The biggest turn off for girls is a man who complains, grumbles and whines persistently. Nothing dries them up faster. Usually I do understand why some men are whiny. It has something to do with our upbringing. If you grew up without a strong masculine presence in your life, you can be susceptible to whining. Whining is a direct craving for love, for understanding, to be appreciated. But only your grandmother, mother or sister or a girl who has friend-zoned can love you, understand you and appreciate you.

Your girlfriend, your wife will not stomach so much whining from you. The threshold of tolerating a whining man is pretty low, especially with urban, millennial women. No sooner you start whining persistently than she turns to a man with a masculine frame. One who is proactive about life, action oriented, and on his purpose. The thing with whining is that it sucks the energy out of both parties. The whiner is exhausted from the maltreatment. The one he is whining to, probably no longer respects the man. She sees the man as a liability.

Women hate and despise weak men. The good women leave weak men. The bad women punish men's weakness in the most wicked ways. And whining is weakness manifested. Whining means one is negotiating desire. One of the biggest source of whining for men is when they negotiate for affection, love and sex. And it turns off women like nonsense.

Listen guys, to be a man is to stay on top of your game. To stay on your purpose. Men who whine have placed women to be central in their lives and are distracted. No woman wants to be the centre of attention. They consider that as tripping in the man's part. Part of the reason bad boys win with the girls is because they are narcissistic and think they are God's biggest favour to the girls. And the girls simp a good one for such men. But nice men given to weeping and mourning are always shunned or taken advantage of in a very bad way.

I know some men are naturally good, sweet even, and want to save the woman. It not a bad thing in our heavenly bound journey. But men are attracted to some bad girls too. I am attracted to Mercy, and trust me she treats men like you know what. Don't be like me. Also some men like the bad girl energy. It is worse if they are pussywhiped. Because some bad girls can ride the hell out your bone marrow. That is before they suck your soul. So, if you are one of those high-value simps, who feel lucky when they encounter a sweet, charming girl, and want to rob the street such, you will end up whining about the rent you pay, about the fee you pay for her kid with another man, about being taken for a ride, just about everything.

One thing I have learnt about men who whine is their learned helplessness. Their unwillingness to accept certain immutable rules of life. Their unwillingness to count loses when she is done with him. Their unwillingness to accept that she is going back to the streets. Some try to ringfence against her leaving, with gifts, with money, with favours and there is no miserable man like one who is trying to stop a girl charging to the streets. Stop whining guys.

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Whether you had a father figure or not. Whether you were raised in the presence of a lot of feminine energy (e.g you were the only son in a family of girls, women tend to overprotect men, and thus it is easy for guy to grow not knowing that is it is a cold, cruel world out here), whether you are one of those genuinely sweet, gentlemen, whether you have beta energy and you are unwilling to let go the beta spirit and charge the lion within. Stop it. I have talked to girls from all walks of life. From unschooled househelps to Ph.D holders, none likes a man who whines or complains consistently. Learn to communicate directly and firmly.Learn to say NO to what you don't like and what you don't appreciate. Don't ever over- explain anything to a girl committed to misunderstanding you.

Learn all manner shit-tests that a woman can put you through and know how to pass through those shit-tests. Stop your insecurities. If you think she is playing you, just know she is playing you. Trust your gut. Never be afraid of losing a girl. Let her know that but always treat her with respect. The gate ushering her back to the street should always be open. Know she is not your mother. She is not your sister. She is not your relative. So don't force things. No man ever stopped a girl from doing what she wants. No man ever forced a girl to love him. So focus man on what is important. Add to your pension. Build friendships with fellow men. Learn and up your game. Complain and whine less. Get a better distraction: reading, gym, cycling, gaming, anytime you want to whine. Many an otherwise good man has lost a good woman because he couldn't grow the ef up and stop grumbling.

Women prefer men who act instead of saying. Men who do stuff. Men with a sense of direction. Men on their purpose. Remember if it is a long-term thing she is renting you a womb. A womb is a serious thing and it wants assurance that whoever who is renting it must pay their dues. The child in the womb can whine. But no woman has the energy to baby a child and a man in the house at the same time. It is unfair to her. She wants security and assurance. Not some whiny, puny-ass, lambistic sh*t (to borrow from Kibe.

Lastly, even in life, don't whine. Winners never whine. Know what is hurting you and privately or with the help of the right people work towards correcting it.

Always have the "I-can-do-it" or "It can be done" spirit

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