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Why Do People Lie With Confidence and Uproot Relationships

You are lucky if you are not deceived by lying, but it's impossible. Homo sapien seeks fortuities to lie and deceive others.

Greed may increase one's predisposition to lying

— Psychologist Joshua Greene

My Observation to Detect Lies

Ever since I regained consciousness, I have seen lies all around me. I have also lied, but I did not tell a lie that hurt others; for instance, I lied to save someone or normalize the surrounding environment. Therefore, I'm not a prolific liar and dislike lies that harm others or lies that are denied with confidence. Whenever I lied, I admitted it when needed.

I have observed some skilled, prolific liars who lie so confidently that your mind stops working. Such liars can be more toxic than poison; even if you feed your blood to such dishonest people, they can never be yours.

According to psychologist Bruno Verschuere, "The truth is self-evident by nature; you do not have to manipulate words, but lying requires a lot of energy and brainstorming."

What Psychology Says: Reasons behind Lying

According to the research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 1996, most people can't live without lying once or twice a day.

According to National Geographic magazine, here are the reasons for lying.

  • When we turn away from reality
  • when we try to hide our ugly face
  • To attain endless desires
  • When we don't benefit from honesty
  • To fulfill our financial dreams
  • To cover up our mistakes


When We Turn Away from Reality

About 2% of pathological liars do not accept the truth if it is not according to their interests. While unveiling such liars, linguist George Lakoff said, "if the truth comes to them in a way that does not meet their standard, they will either deny it or never acknowledge it" These habitual liars, seeing the truth with their own eyes, flatly deny it.

When We Try to Hide Our Ugly Face

About 8% of people lie so confidently to hide bad habits and dirty mindsets. The lie grows like a virus that we can't control later, and then this becomes part of our daily life from which we can't escape. Instead of correcting bad habits, such people try their best to draw a positive image through lies but fail.

To Attain Endless Desires (Personal Gain)

It's very important to rein in the horse of desires; otherwise, it will crush you. Many endless desires arise in humans, on which basis he sets many goals. To achieve these goals, about 15% of people set their minds to lie with confidence, deceive people, and show dishonesty without any guilt. The society they belong to has taught them how to play with the minds of others to achieve their desires. For example, if a man marries a woman and in this woman's family, only wealth is given importance, then such a woman will continue to pursue only wealth all her life. She will have nothing to do with this man except lying and collecting as much as possible.

When we don't Benefit from Honesty

According to researcher Tim Levine, "we start lying when honesty is no use" Some people are forced to lie because, being honest, they suffer a lot, and their livelihood becomes very difficult. Lies are widespread in our society, and an honest man cannot fight the whole society. In that case, he has no choice but to go and live in the forest. Man seeks his benefit in everything, this is his nature, and when something does not help him, he goes the other way, which is wrong.

To Fulfill Our Financial Dreams

About 16% of Politicians, including ordinary people, seem to be running after financial gain. If our intention is only for financial gain, we will continue to cheat our relatives, acquaintances, colleagues, and loved ones. Politicians make false promises to the people, forgetting everything when they come to power. The financier Bernie Madoff, for example, was caught defrauding investors, and Richard Nixon lied to become a Politician. There is no more skilled liar in the world than a politician is.

To Cover Up Mistakes

The saying goes," "to err is human" and make mistakes. 22% of the world's best experienced and skilled liars try to hide their mistakes in every possible way instead of admitting them. If a child makes mistakes and tries to hide them, we will call it his innocence, but if adults do the same things, they cannot be called innocent because they do it deliberately with intellect and consciousness.

How Lying Uproot Relationships

It's very easy to lie, but it's very difficult to hide it. In relationships, lying can be toxic that we cannot even guess. Lying is short-lived and harmful to life. You cannot defend your lie for long, and it gradually eats relationships as if termites eat wood. Lying exposes our bad images, and people stop trusting us. Good relationships start to rot by consistent lying and then eventually end. According to Friedrich Nietzsche," it is not a matter of worrying that you have lied; it's a matter of concern that I will not trust you from today." When proven that you are a completely dishonest person, it's almost impossible to win back the people's trust.

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How to Deal with Lies

I know it hurts when you find out you’ve been lied to and a liar continues to deceive you with a lot of confidence, then what should we do in such a situation?

Some strategies should be adopted, keeping in view the different situations of lies.

Strategy # 1: Don’t React While Observing

When it becomes clear that someone is constantly lying to you, you don’t have to do anything. Be quiet and look at all the events related to the problem. Don’t rush; sometimes, little silence and seriousness reveal all the secrets. Give the liar a little time and see when they react; it is also possible that the culprit may or may not be innocent.

Strategy # 2: Pretend as an Amnesiac

If a liar is dear to you and you want a liar to admit mistakes that will reduce your anger, show them that you are suffering from amnesia and don’t remember anything. Under the pretext of forgetting, ask the liar tricky questions so that the truth comes out.

Strategy # 3: Try to Fix Privately

Of course, every human being has self-esteem; even if he is a liar, no one wants to be naked in public. It is also possible he has lied for some reason. In that case, you should try to have a private conversation and find out the reasons behind the lying. It is very important to make the liar feel guilty, but publicly proving someone a liar can make him worse.


Strategy # 4: Gather Evidence against Lies

In some cases, silence would be utter nonsense, and you don’t have to yell or hit anyone to prove lies. Sometimes every way to get the lies out fails, so all you have to do is to assemble the proofs against the liar. Must properly collect everything related to the offender, email, text messages, voice records, and other materials. People can deny anything, but they cannot deny evidence like your fingerprints.

References:

  1. RYAN MORRIS, NGM STAFF; SHELLEY SPERRYSOURCES: Timothy R. LEVINE and others, Journal of Intercultural Communication Research, 2016; Evelyne DEBEY and others, Acta Psychologica, 2015; KIM SEROTA, OAKLAND UNIVersity. (2019, June 18). Why We Lie: The Science Behind Our Deceptive Ways. National Geographic.
  2. Online, H. (2020). Why Do People Lie? The Truth about Dishonesty | Husson University. Husson University. Retrieved 17 August 2020,
  3. Ellen, S. (2014, May 31). Political Lies, White Lies and Damned Lies (Op-Ed). Live Science.
  4. Bradberry, T. (2016, April 8). What To Do When You Catch A Liar. Forbes.
  5. Lauriello, S. (2019, October 2). Why Do People Lie? We Asked an Expert. Health.Com.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

© 2020 KANWAL YOUSAFZAI

Comments

KANWAL YOUSAFZAI (author) from Pakistan on August 10, 2020:

Thank you Zuni and welcome!

Zuni from Scotland on August 09, 2020:

a good read

KANWAL YOUSAFZAI (author) from Pakistan on July 28, 2020:

Gracias Afeefa!

Bless your heart!

KANWAL YOUSAFZAI (author) from Pakistan on July 08, 2020:

Thank you Jadoon !

EK Jadoon from Abbottabad Pakistan on July 08, 2020:

Kanwal, this is a very informative topic in terms of our socity. Keep up the good work.

KANWAL YOUSAFZAI (author) from Pakistan on July 08, 2020:

Thank you Maharukh!

There are very few people who acknowledge the truth.

Your comments are appreciated.

Mahrukh khan on July 08, 2020:

This article is a reflection of our society. Lying is a major sin and just a really wicked deed in general that should be condemned and avoided in every given circumstance. Loved this piece of writing.

KANWAL YOUSAFZAI (author) from Pakistan on July 07, 2020:

Thank you Shazia jamil !

Thank you Hamza !

Hamza123456 on July 07, 2020:

This really very informative as well as based on reality. Thanks for writing this.

Shazia jamil on July 07, 2020:

Accurate information

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