Skip to main content

Why Do Women Yell at Men?


It Pays to Know Why Women Yell

I have read this somewhere I couldn't remember...

When a woman cries in pain and yells at you, oh man, be thankful because she still cares. But when a woman suddenly change her ways, cries in silence and keeps quite all throughout, beware, she is getting ready to LET GO of you.

... if she smiles at your irresponsible behaviors, that means YOU already lost her.

What is Yelling?

Yelling is one of the most intense form of expressing emotion, usually when feeling too much anger, inside making it a little more aggressive than shouting. Sometimes we yell when we are overly excited, when we cannot contain our emotion either when we are happy or angry. But yelling when happy is a positive display of emotion, while yelling when angry becomes a very negative verb that defines well the words despair and frustration within the existing relationship.

Yelling in a Woman's Perspective

For us Women, we differ in ways of releasing that anger inside mostly by intensity. But men do not view it that way. Yelling for men is a very disgusting attitude that shouldn't be tolerated.

More often than not, you'll hear the line, "Im not deaf, you don't have to yell at me". But what they failed to realize is that women yell when angered over a repetitive, unpleasant, and totally unacceptable action that has been talked about calmly in the past. Moreover, yelling most likely happens when the conflict recurs out of men's careless attitude and seemingly high-sense of self-pride. Helplessness over an utterly abusive situation often makes women yell, except of course when it is habitual. For sure yelling as a habit is an entirely different story.

Though I agree at some point everything can be talked about calmly, I came to realize more what yelling really is, and what do women want to convey when yelling. Its more of a it's-too-much line, Im-in pain-but you-dont-care, I-am-yelling-because-I-want-you-to-see-my-pain, or it could be oh-gosh-please-do-something-about-it-I-don't-want-to-leave. Sentences could go on and on as we try to deciper why do women yell. One thing is clear though, women only yell to men they care about. (I'm talking about romantic argument not a threatening hold up scenario where we have to yell. Lol!)

Watch out When Women Stop Yelling

Yelling can also be used as a warning sign, telling men on what she is thinking up next. When the time comes that a woman couldn't take it anymore, and she arrives at a point when all she could do is to weigh if its worthwhile to stay, she normally stops yelling, and cries silently. So men should beware when a woman change her attitude. When she sobs silently at a man's anomisity instead, certainly she is thinking about how she could let go, carefully checking whether she is ready for it or not yet, and how to end such daily tormenting scenes without getting hurt. This explains why it usually is faster for a woman to get over after a woman-initiated break-up.

A little farther and further to this, it will then be worst when she yells no more. When she stops crying, it means she is in an entirely different stage,fed up with unresolved things, finally realizing yells aren't enough to point out her frustration. When she comes to a point that she thinks smiling is the best way to deal with the situation, it is for sure a sign of surrender. Good if it leads to acceptance, but worse when she is ready to go and leave that senseless, hopeless, and unhappy relationship. She will then prefer to silently make-up his plan, and reassuringly whisper to herself "Enough is enough!" or "Get out of my way, you insensitive idiot!" (Opps sorry for the word but that's the truth). So it pays a lot for a man to listen in between yells to make the relationship work, rather than abhorring it without giving it a closer look. It is possible to wake up one day without any single sign of her on the other side of the bed. Women can just leave without a trace after she has done everything, and had given the situation a careful thought. (Normally, it takes one year or more of weighing the situation)

I know for a fact that women will agree with me in this,.I have lots of "likes" in my FB and retweets in Twitter when I posted the same foreword I have in this article.If you think otherwise, let me know.


Mee on October 07, 2018:

What about woman yelling because her man never wants to listen to her and he only wants to be heard? Man has been talking so much at her without he realize it by himself.. but he never wants to give the woman a chance to talk or at least to give her opinion? whenever his wife said a small short words, he cut her words immediately judging without listening?

of course his wife got exhausted by him.. as she has to do everything for him.. but not a second he give attention nicely to his wife.. he is nagging to his wife.. but when his wife says a bit words.. he said his wife is nagging.. twisting facts..

in this situation, even dogs and cats will yell to this man..

julio on September 10, 2018:

My wife stop yelling at me because I get horny and now she chase me with a broom stick . To protect me, I went out and bough her a vacuum cleaning . now she stop yelling at me .

dp on August 27, 2018:

why do women yell at men dering their period

Amit on August 26, 2018:

Scroll to Continue

Well whatever is the reson for yelling it is never good for relationship.because when someone yells at you we, can only hear loud voice and not the meaning ful words.please stop justifying yelling because it Will never lead to a solution and it is just like justifying physical fight in a relationship as due to office pressure n all

Gillian on April 22, 2018:

I'm in total agreement of ALL you've said. I'm female and a pretty fed up female.

Yes I yell. Yes I'm quiet. Yes I wish he would just go away.

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on December 08, 2017:

Wow its been a long while since I last visited this hub and I am pretty much surprised of the violent reaction I am getting which means I am effective. LOL. First, I want you to know I'm not biased. I am only explaining, with the hope that you will see what's behind yelling and be able to deal with that if its happening to your relationship. Second is, I am also giving you a clue as to when to move out from an abusive relationship. Yes, I agree that some women use yelling to control their men and that is pretty abusive. Finally, I am also preparing you for the worst. That somehow you will know that women yell because they are making a point but seemed unheard and in some cases you are already on the verge of a failed marriage but you still have no this hub is open to interpretation but it is clear I am not justifying yelling at all because I know that yelling has a lot of faces. Whatever it is, learn to identify, deal with it and if ever you couldn't take it anymore, then be the first to move out before she lets you know she is over you.

Anonymous on May 19, 2017:

I'll explain yelling from the perspective. Any time my wife gets frustrated, she yells. When you yell no one cares if your complaints are justified or not. You may respond to stop the yelling. But you stop caring why she is yelling. She may even have a legitimate reason.

But it is poison for relationships. It's hard to be around.

Love and grace and forgiveness motivate people far more than yelling.

The problem, frankly, is the power dynamic. In today's society, wives can get their way. Men will just take it because ultimately what choice do we have? Lose half our stuff. See our kids every other weekend?

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on December 10, 2016:

I thought I had been clear from the start...I was explaining YELLING from a woman's perspective because first, I am a woman, I should know. Second, the way you see yelling is pretty straightforward "it is rude and very demanding". But I want you to see that there is something in YELLING that somehow you failed to see. This will give you a bird's eye view of what it is. So that if your relationship involves a lot of yelling, then you will know whether you have to deal with it or walk out.

John on December 01, 2016:

My wife yells constantly. And gets mad even when she gets what she wants. People who yell deserve any hell they create for themselves.

Wilson on March 31, 2016:

Women they tend to start yelling at people when they are in a bad mood or they dislike something. Something is really wrong about that because they might feel they want to be in power or control of something. Why do women do that? Kind of rude doing that!

Catch 11x2 on March 09, 2016:

Here is the glitch in your matrix:

“Helplessness over an utterly abusive situation often makes women yell, except of course when it is habitual. For sure yelling as a habit is an entirely different story.”

This is likened unto saying:

“Helplessness over an utterly abusive bath often makes cats hiss, claw and bit, except of course when it is habitual. For sure cats throwing a hissy-fit as a habit is an entirely different story.”

So at what point do we declare yelling to be habitual? After a woman (or man) has yelled, oh let’s say nine, twenty, seventy times? Or would habitual be when it happens every time a PERSON doesn’t get what they want or think they deserve – or when we haven’t lived up to their expectations by changing our personality – or whenever they just need to vent to get it out of their system (emotional/hormonal gratification)? Am I the only person who sees the contradictory and hypocritical catch-22 in this doubled edged scenario?

Have you even stopped to consider WHY “Yelling for men is a very disgusting attitude that shouldn't be tolerated”? Because you are correct in this perception – most (mature) men have the same attitude when other MEN yell at another person (man/woman/child). And yet somehow I have a feeling that there are (mature) women out there who would agree with this assumed male-only perception. I have to agree with both [pere Gorman] and [This is stupid]. Yelling is not a gender tolerable issue. And the evidence is overwhelming as to the acceleration of foreign (mail order) brides ever since our culture has chosen to embrace the stroking of the feminist ego as a superior way of life. To assume that this “yelling” dynamic is acceptable/expected for a grown woman is comparable to saying that children throwing a temper tantrum should be tolerated and accepted as good-behavior simply because it is expected. The only difference between children and a grown woman is that the children cannot break-up with or simply leave their parents. Yet, your claim is that the man should be in fear of the woman leaving him if she is not throwing her temper tantrums. Yet, when women throw too many of these temper tantrums (yelling), it is not uncommon for men to consider leaving – because “Yelling for men is a very disgusting attitude that shouldn't be tolerated”. So would it be equally as appropriate for a woman to assume that a man is considering leaving her if he is not expressing himself in the form of physical abuse or infidelity? What, you don’t consider that to be the same thing as merely yelling? Then perhaps you have also not considered the damage that “yelling” does to the male ego – and then the reality that women subconsciously know this already and thus use it as a weapon to break men down until they get what they want (think they need) – just like a child does with their parents. If women (and men) do not want to be perceived as perpetually emotional/psychological children, then perhaps ending the cycle of childish behavior (i.e. temper tantrums) as a behavioral norm should be implemented. as for women who have overcome their instinct to yell as a means of expression – these are the women that most men hold in very high regards and would probably give their right arm to be with.

So if women are supposed to be allowed to “yell when angered over a repetitive, unpleasant, and totally unacceptable action that has been talked about calmly in the past” in order to change a man’s behavior, then what would be an acceptable method/action for men to take when attempting to change “repetitive, unpleasant, and totally unacceptable” behavior in women (i.e. yelling)? Oh, wait, that’s right, most men fall in love with women the way they are (i.e. what you see is what you get). And yet the vast majority of us don’t yell about it – we just accept reality as it is. Why is this not the same for women? What happened to equality there?

This is stupid on October 20, 2015:

To listen to women rationalize why it is ok to yell and scream...basically verbal abuse?! Women love to pat themselves on the back and work together as a group to say it is socially acceptable to be verbally abusive, due to them being upset. By the same standard, if men got together and patted themselves on the back, to say it is socially acceptable to kick a woman's teeth down their throat every time they went nuts, and do it.... Is this ok? I'm sure women will think it's not...but all men have felt like doing this to the times their wives go nuts, or women in general. I'm so sick and tired of women's equality becoming their excuse to do whatever they want, no matter how vile, to justify their actions. This is why American men are looking to other countries to find wives. The women in America, or at least 90% of them are shit.I truly mean that. The only women in America that are worth a damn, have most likely come from another country.

pere gorman on September 03, 2015:

Author: You are a biased person

Deluded and sexist in the extreme to suggest that yelling is acceptable and is always expressed rationally from women or about intolerable abuse.

Some women expect to repeatedly shout at men due to their stress, their personal stress or if the kids have done something to anger them. Often simply because they are tired or hormonal. (the latter a poor and outdated excuse)

Shouting cannot be tolerable for one gender, race or group and be completely unacceptable for another. This is a fundimental of equality.

Men get kicked from pillar to post and are second class citizens in civil law and child related matters. Some women, seemingly yourself use this situation to gain advantage or exemption from commonly accepted codes of acceptable behaviour.

It is weak, stand up, be counted, compete on a level playing field and thrive because you are as good as men not because you chose the easy way out and the road of exemption and excuses. Don't abuse people and expect to excuse it on basis of gender.

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on April 22, 2015:

P coo - I guess if you really wanted to know why WOMEN yell at MEN, it is best to get it from a woman's perspective. Otherwise, we need not to explain this. If men has a very CLEAR picture why women yell at men, this question should not be part of my hub. :)

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on April 22, 2015:

P coo - I guess if you really wanted to know why WOMEN yell at MEN, it is best to get it from a woman's perspective. Otherwise, we need not to explain this. If men has a very CLEAR picture why women yell at men, this question should not be part of my hub. :)

P coo on August 03, 2014:

This is a very female based perspective on things

An AYM on October 30, 2012:

This is true! I think our society also tells us that it's not socially okay for men to get yelling and angry with ladies, but that it is okay the other way around.

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on October 29, 2012:

Yes...That's true.

But in my observation, it's the women who do all the yelling, more often than men, since men rarely confront sensitive issues.

Thanks for the input.

An AYM on October 29, 2012:

(Just my personal opinion) I think men and women yell for the same reasons and motivations.

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on October 21, 2012:

I'm happy someone (from the men's world) agreed to this explanation. Lol!

Yes, when we yell....we still care. When we don't, we silently say"who cares?".

I'm glad that girlfriend of yours never know why? because you never gave her any reason to yell. *smileys*

Who likes yelling anyway? on October 21, 2012:

this is a really interesting explanation and true - thanks go-barbara-go - I had a conversation with a mate of mine who is separated and he still gets yelled at by his ex - the only other people she lets see that side of her is her family so I told him consider yourself priveleged. She must still feel close to him - in a way the ones we feel close to are the ones we yell/let out our emotions too. However, one of my earliest girlfriends never yelled - she negotiated!

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on September 18, 2012:

If that happens quite too often then women should check if they are in a healthy relationship, or that has become a habit which is entirely a different story.

Thank you, Mellonyy.

Mellonyy on September 18, 2012:

Go-barbara-go, I think women yelling when they can't control their emotions. Unfortunately, too often. Great hub, shared!

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on September 11, 2012:

@strictlydating...Thank you for giving this article a glance. Yes, I think we all like not to yell but there are moments that we can't take it anymore. As Caroll7777 said, she yells when she's at her boiling point. The sad fact is, some men don't care about our boiling point. If we continuously reach our boiling point at a certain conflict, I guess its time to give it a thought and stop yelling.

StrictlyQuotes from Australia on September 11, 2012:

Wow! A really interesting read! I prefer not to raise my voice at any time (Unless cheering at the football!) but I can really relate to what you said here.

Go-Barbara-Go (author) from Philippines on September 10, 2012:

That's the point Carol7777. Women yell when they can no longer contain the emotion. Thanks for reading.

carol stanley from Arizona on September 10, 2012:

They yell out of frustration. I rarely yell but when I do I have reached the boiling point.

Related Articles