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Why Do Real People Wear Fake Glasses?

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.


This is nothing more than a paradox. Simple and true as famous celebrity, Brad Pitt. But I just had this question that was burning in my spirit, so here goes (again).

This hub is the second attempt to convince someone, anyone, that there isn’t anything that can be added to the lives of the famous or average people who somehow crave the notion to follow the crowd and opt to wear something over eyes in order to make some kind of fashion or social statement. And that one statement covers all of my bases.

Frankly speaking, fake glasses are just that Fake. And the word fake did take on several a verb-driven action to affect other words in our language. Words such as fake eye lashes; fake flowers to be given to fake dates (kidding!); and fake physical relations as it pertains to human interaction.


Like I said. Years ago when I first joined Hubpages, I published a similar hub that deal with the very same thing and I think, made some folks “see the light,” but that light soon waned. Not this time. I am bringing the big guns and will not concede my territory. No treaties. No negotiations.

There two reasons why I think that that fake glasses are standard equipment to solidify their place and standing in the higher social circles of our nation and Europe. The first reason is: to be popular, which is synonymous with being cool. (as Henry Winkler, “Fonzie,” of Happy Days). And the second reason is although the fake glasses do look real, but they also act as a diversion to those admiring fans who starve for their autographs. You see. With the shades version of fake glasses, the celebrity can close his or eyes and not be affected by these formidable fans to to their bodyguards who take them throughout the crowd. I am speaking about the fake glasses-wearing celebrities.

And the designer of fake glasses should be considered in the same list of names such as: Eli Whitney; Ben Franklin and Alexander Graham Bell. Fact is, the fake glasses do somehow to add to the person’s ego, thus deceiving the average person. Big film stars such as George Clooney and Brad Pitt, who I think has yet to fork-out the five to nine bucks to own a pair of fake glasses. Could be that Clooey and Pitt are so popular that fake glasses are not needed on their faces. Heck! Clooney and Pitt together or apart could buy the patents for fake glasses with the pocket change that they have.

Here’s a List of Folks That Fake Glasses Will Not Help Their Looks, Vocation and Life:

The late Hugh Beaumont, “Ward Cleaver,” of Leave it to Beaver.

As for as that goes, Barbara Bilingsley, “June Cleaver,” also of Leave it to Beaver.

Jerry “Beaver” Mathers and Tony “Wally” Dow would look okay wearing fake glasses.

The late Andy Griffith and Don Knotts, the principal stars of The Andy Griffith Show.

Chuck Norris of Walker, Texas Ranger.

Adam West, TV’s Batman.

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Burt Ward, “Robin” could pull it off.

Pres. Joe Biden and wife, Jill.

Stephen Colbert, CBS Late Show. He wears regular glasses and going to fake glasses would not help him at all.

And Alan “Hawkeye” Alda definitely would NOT look well at all wearing fake glasses.


Of course, a person like yours truly who did wear something called “Granny Glasses,” in 1967, when I watched Tommy Sands on the ABC-TV’s “Where The Action Is,” and Sands sported his “Granny Glasses” around so smoothly that well, I just had to have a pair because I thought what if the friends that I have in my class are also wearing “Granny Glasses?” This is a young person’s junior high dilemma.

Looking back from 2022, the wearing of “Granny Glasses” was a short-lived fad. Unlike the mini-skirt and Frisbee which caught-on in a meteoric sense, the “Granny Glasses,” came into fashion one day and departed in a week’s time and I ended up looking more hilarious than I did at that time in junior high.

The awful “Granny Glasses” was no more. And again, foolish as it may be, I did not see any image of the “Granny Glasses "anymore. It did run through my mind that even the teen’s who had secretly wore fake glasses to just be different, took their fake glasses off and burned them out of fear. I can speak to the fear of teen’s because at (that) time I was a teen and I was scared beyond death when the “Granny Glasses” crashed and burned. I had yet to allow myself to start with the fake glasses and I had two good reasons; I was blessed with good eyesight and when I asked for a par of fake eyeglasses, my parents laughed me to scorn as well as the friends that I did have. So that was it for fake glasses.

That was one day in circa 2010, I read an interesting article about the late John Lennon. Sitting atop his nose was, you guessed it, fake glasses in all of their glory. Resting there fielding the compliments about Lennon being so cool that his fake glasses looked “boss,” another word for cool. Then I sat down and sketched a rough draft about fake glasses.

Then published it on HubPages and since I had become a member in circa 2007, I was proud as a big mouth bass that had eluded Bass Master, Bill Dance, who formerly had a show on TV. But even with seeing Lennon and his fake glasses, I knew that I could never wear any because I was too old and the best reason: there was not one pair of fake glasses, to say nothing about “Granny Glasses.”

It was as I thought. A diabolical conspiracy to gain popularity from our teen’s and in those few moments when their guard was down, the RayBan people could have invaded us.

URL’s Appear on This Hub:

Fake Glasses: Why Wear Fake Glasses / Where to Buy Them (

People who wear fake glasses - Bing images

© 2022 Kenneth Avery

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