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Why Beautiful Women Love Introverts Like You

Total Introvert


Women Love Introverts

You wanna date a party girl, don't you?

But you're not really a party guy. You can do it. You CAN get your "state" up by socializing a little first, or listening to well-meaning advice from guys like me who tell you to get out every day and get talking and you will learn skills and change your behavior.

If you're like me, however, you are the kind of guy who would really rather be inside, reading, or somewhere on your own, dreaming and thinking, and if there was a pretty girl there with you, not talking to you too much, and not bugging you when you've got stuff to do, well that would be all right too.

But everything you've ever heard about picking up women tells you that you have to be the social monster party guy who attracts women to him without even trying. You want women, so you want to be the kind of guy who gets them.

You want to be different. You don't want to be tagged with that dreaded label, "introvert." Meaning shy, nerdy, awkward, socially uncomfortable and unskilled... meaning dorky... meaning lonely.

You want to be that cool guy, right? You want to be someone other than who you are.

So do I.

I wanna be the dude who always has tons of friends around, who spends all day chatting with hotties and everywhere he goes, he's shaking hands and kissing girls like Bill Clinton on the campaign trail (his wife's trail, of course, where he can get way more action than he ever got on his own). It sounds like fun to be the dude who works the room because that's just who he is.

The popular guys get all the girls, right? The party guy gets laid, while the quiet, serious guy off to the side just gets ignored.

Except for one thing. That's WRONG.

You know there are two distinct types of people in the world. Two categories. Introvert, and Extrovert. And they are defined very simply in scientific terms. An introvert is a person who gathers energy from being alone and doing quiet, solitary things. An extrovert is a person who builds energy from being with other people, talking and mixing it up.

I am an introvert. 25% of the population is an introvert too. That makes it pretty rare. But since you are reading this, there's a really good chance YOU are an introvert too.

Guys who go out and socialize because that's what they need, for biological reasons, to re-charge their batteries, well those guys don't have too much trouble starting conversations with strangers. They don't worry too much about saying the right thing. They can just "be themselves," because their real self NEEDS to chat and talk and interact with people in order to survive.

That's probably not you, and it probably drives you crazy that you just can't flip the switch and turn it on like the cool guys do.

And I know because I'm the same way.

Anyone who has taken a workshop with me, or joined me at an AoF SuperSeminar will tell you that there's no way in hell I'm an introvert. I'm too talkative, too glib, too "on" to ever convince someone I'm shy. But that's performance. Remember, the definition of introvert is not someone who is shy, but someone who needs time alone to recharge.

Someone who doesn't need to be around other people to have a good time. Someone who knows his own mind, and makes his own decisions regardless of what others think. Someone who is dependable and strong, and can withstand pressure from others when he knows what's right, and doesn't usually give much of a damn what you think, because he does what he wants to do, thank you very much.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, because he is expert at thinking and understanding his own feelings, he can solve complex problems and create new things that help the world, and make fortunes and invent cool shit and listen to people when they need someone to share important stuff with, and basically connect with people because they aren't distracted by the buzz of social activity around them.

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The Introvert is an outcast. The minority. The loner. The rebel.

The Introvert is a bad-ass. He does not care what you think. He cares only what is right for him. He is strong. He is confident in his skills. He has a deep understanding of the world, and he loves and understands people for who they really are, and has no trouble calling a stupid fuckhead a stupid fuckhead if that's necessary.

The party guy is out talking to everyone, but the Introvert is the one taking it all in, feeling what is really going on. He's not socially awkward, he just doesn't waste time frivolously. He makes his moments count. He is intense, mysterious, passionate and strong.

In short, he is the Man that makes women's panties drop to the floor with a soft, wet sploooosh.

Set your mind free for a second and forget everything you've ever heard about Extrovert vs. Introvert. Forget everything you've ever thought about how the popular guys get all the girls (and yes, I know you saw it all through high school, but we are men now, not boys, and we play the game like men, not boys). Let that all go, and consider this:

The Introvert is in every way the hero of the movie, and the star of the show.

Think about the "coolest" guys you can think of. We all know cool when we see it. It's the guy who appears not to care what you think, and lives a good life on his own terms. The guy women want, and men want to be.

Here's my list.

Sean Connery.

George Clooney.

Michael Jordan.

Bruce Lee.

Chris Rock.

Muhammad Ali.

Enrique Iglesias.

Brad Pitt.



Elvis Motherfucking Aron Presley.

Pretty cool cats all, wouldn't you say? Now guess what all these dudes have in common (other than the fact that any woman would cut another bitches throat with her carefully manicured nails to have just one shot to go to bed with any of them)?

They are ALL Introverts, right down to the core.

That doesn't mean they are shy. It damn sure doesn't mean they are unsuccessful. What it means is these are men who prefer time alone to time in crowds, because alone they can do things bigger and more important than just chit-chatting the day away on a cell phone or on IM. They are men with dreams, ambitions, and power. They succeed where others fail because they have vision.

They don't go to clubs. They BUILD clubs. They don't make new friends. They choose carefully the friends they keep. And they don't chase women.

Women chase them.

As an introvert, you are born with an opportunity to build character that extroverts may never have. You can be stronger and more charismatic than the most glib cocktail party conversationalist. You don't have to talk much, because when you do, it matters. It's important. It's something you feel, for real.

I'll be honest. The party guys do tend to get more women. Why? Because they need them. They are out. It's a basic law of statistics. But there's a downside to it. Because they need women, need people around all the time, they don't wait for the great women. They tend to be the guys who get hitched early, and then get bored, cheat on their wife, get divorced and watch half their money disappear, along with their kids, to reside in some other man's house so he can fuck her and buy a new BMW with his cash.

But the truly cool guy, the introvert, he takes his time. He's the guy who ends up with a Beyonce, or an Anna Kournikova, or a Angelina Jolie.

Extroverted women NEED Introvert men, because they are the only ones that really turn them on. They balance them out. They may like to flirt with the party guy, but they will never take him seriously, because he's too much like them and it bores them silly.

The best, happiest, most charming women are looking for a man just like you. And all you need to do is be able to use your natural abilities to CONNECT with them and let them into this deep, great world you know, and they will do anything to be in it with you.

That's what Real-Deal Rapport is. There are some very fundamental concepts, and three critical stages to Rapport that unlock all the best and sexiest parts of your personality. Once you know them, you don't need ANY pickup tricks. You don't need to worry about charm. You don't need to worry about alpha. And you damn sure don't need to worry about "attraction," because Rapport trumps Attraction every time.

Hot women will flirt with the dude who makes them laugh and tells them funny stories. But they go home and f*$% the life out the man who connects with them emotionally and knows exactly who he is.

I have finally putting on podclass all of my very best techniques for teaching you how to do it. I've been teaching men, and women, how to connect without tricks and without any childish routines for years, and all around the world. I've taught men of all ages, races, sizes and backgrounds. And I will teach you.

It's time for you to claim what is rightfully yours. Stop wasting your hard-earned money trying to be someone else. Today you start to be the Real You. A Real Man. The Real Deal.

And when the women in your life are glowing with appreciation for the change (especially right afterwards, when she's lying in bed, all tuckered out from "appreciation,"), please do me one favor.

Have her write me a note saying thanks. :)

I'll talk to you on Wednesday.

Peace and love,



John on September 04, 2020:


gepeTooRs on July 26, 2016:

When browsing the web I often see involving pages the location title is "Untitled Document" or "Title Your Page Here" - the page owner hadn't even specified a title at virtually all. It's unfortunate because those pages are really missing out on potential search engine ranking.

Introverted Playboy on June 15, 2014:

A lot of great points here. Introverts do not have a disadvantage in meeting, attracting or seducing women. In fact, they have an advantage and can get killer results where other, more extroverted guys do not.

But they have to play to their strengths of being calm, cool, laid back, strong, independent and confident in themselves. As soon as they try to "impress" women by acting like something they are not, it's game over.

When it comes to meeting women, I looked at 10 great places where introverts can meet beautiful women here:

Janny on April 18, 2014:

THANKS FOR THIS. Now I'm even more happier about being an introvert male. I will read this article whenever I feel down or something :)

introvert on April 12, 2014:

you have just chopped my depression rate

another introvert on January 27, 2014:

I accidentally misspelled brian's real name (or username) by calling him brain. My apologies.

another introvert on January 27, 2014:

It's about time someone made a hub like this. I've had enough of extroverts givin' introverts crap over the years. So I thank you, Sean, just as I thank all of you other folks who support this hub.

Now, onto two other people who have posted on here:

1. at Steatani:

"If you want to be understood, then type properly."

2. at brain:

"What a liar you. Do you have a hatred for introverts? If so, then shut the hell up.

This hub isn't garbage. Your answer is.

And who the hell are you to tell Sean to stop analyzing and start living? You're not his boss, which means that he can analyze whenever he wants and live the way that he wants. So get the fuck off this page and pay attention to your own life.

It's ironic that you blamed Sean for having no life it sounds like you have none of your own. If you don't appreciate introverts for who they are, then you won't be able to function well in life because those people are capable of helping other people out."

tom on October 20, 2013:

amazing stuff here ! think about it: if an introverted man after thinking about it quite too much time, starts to talk/chase a girl, he might be feeling weird, nervous, unconfortable, BUT: it will let the girl feel well and very special because she might think that guy dosent do those things often, which is good from her point of view ! So, as an introvert i was going to parties with an extrovert friend of mine for a year and learned that my extroverted friend will always make them laugh and smile, but while listening, the girl would mostly look at me, thinking and being courious about me as the strange guy aside. So go for it from time to time, you will not be dissapointed !!!!

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guest on July 06, 2013:

i cant relate cheating with being introvert or extrovert. It is about the person.

Nolan on June 03, 2013:

Awesom stuff!!!

Matt on May 06, 2013:

This article makes me feel not so lonely ^_^

Sergio on March 22, 2013:

Interesting article. I am an INFP, and I always thought being an introvert was a drawback, but not I see that I was wrong.

ahmad nabeel on February 27, 2013:

i would like to believe you ............but has given enough false promises make me sensible...... although reading this article felt gud back to reality .......i cant fool me anymore has become a little too smart

Julie on December 14, 2012:

Im sorry but even if you are an introverted male you need to get some balls and talk to a girl that you really like. Not make her pursue your ass or ask you all the questions. That is GAY! Be a man! You can be thoughtful and like reading and spending time alone, but you need to just ask her questions if you're interested..if you make a woman do all the work YOU sir are not a man. Not a gentleman either. Im introverted but I believe that even an introverted male, should pursue a female even if it's a more quieter way. But still let her know she interests you.

introvert on August 01, 2012:

good article

Steatiani on July 03, 2012:

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991 on May 16, 2012:

Thanks man, I think I finally realised who I am, I'm 18 years old and didn't even know what an introvert was until tonight OMG!

brian on April 25, 2012:

What a load of garbage. You either love someone or you don't. Stop wasting time analysing yourself and start living.

chrstr65 on April 22, 2012:

I'm an 21 year old introverted guy never had a girlfriend I'm not a bad looking I want to say is 21 year old virgin is normal

Keddy on April 18, 2012:

Dat great introvesion is the best secreted trait therefore appreciate who they are

Batman on April 14, 2012:

Batman is not real. He is a fictional character.

Gentle pee on April 12, 2012:

Dats 1derful

rbrod on March 11, 2012:

This article was great. I've been an introvert for all my life but didn't realize it until my 30's. I have tried to be an extrovert for the same reason mentioned in the article, to try and experience what an extrovert man does... it was just exhausting and uncomfortable. In regards to women, in my late 20's I had dated 2 extroverted women. And I asked why they first showed interested in me and it was always because I "had my own thing going". She liked how I did my own thing and didn't try to be a part of the crowd.

Cs on January 03, 2012:

You're probably an amazing guy that a lot of woman are too shy to notice. You'll find her

cs on November 30, 2011:

I would like to agree on this article, but I believe that the world, in general, is contemptuous of those types. I think that introverts have a harder time having connections with others. Very few people are actually drawn to those types. I can say with complete honesty that I am not ashamed of being severly introverted, but I hate the consequences that I must face that goes along with it. I work as a cashier at a retail store and am forced to interact with others. I'm 23 years old, never had a relationship with anybody, and feel that I'll never be able to form any kind of close connection with anybody.

I still use my time wisely by reading novels and learning new things. I regularly go to the gym and spend 30-45 minutes in there. Keeping myself busy is the only way I can keep these problems off my mind. My goal is not try and fix a problem that can't be fixed but to keep myself busy so I can keep it off my mind.

Muri on November 15, 2011:

I'm not a party girl, but I'm definitely an extrovert. The article was well written. I've dated extroverted guys in the past, but there was always the issue of trust I had with them. I always wondered, 'who else were they using their charm on?' I don't agree that introverts are outcasts or that extroverts are better short term lovers. I'm now single and attracted to my first introverted guy. Bad thing is, I don't know if he's single or not and kinda scared to approach him about him. We work together and there are moments when we share dreamy little looks and smiles, but still uncertain. Normally, i would find an excuse to talk to a guy, but for some reason, he makes me nervous.

Muri on November 15, 2011:

I'm not a party girl, but I'm definitely an extrovert. The article was well written. I've dated extroverted guys in the past, but there was always the issue of trust I had with them. I always wondered, 'who else were they using their charm on?' I don't agree that introverts are outcasts or that extroverts are better short term lovers. I'm now single and attracted to my first introverted guy. Bad thing is, I don't know if he's single or not and kinda scared to approach him about him. We work together and there are moments when we share dreamy little looks and smiles, but still uncertain. Normally, i would find an excuse to talk to a guy, but for some reason, he makes me nervous.

Guest on November 08, 2011:

That was the best article ever. Thank you

David on October 12, 2011:

Wow, this was an inrecdible article! You really made me consider some new things and change my mind frame! Thank you! 10/10

Pat on August 12, 2011:

This is a great, inspiring article and I can relate to it in so many ways. However, even though it is meant to improve self-confidence, I feel like it doesn't encourage introverts to improve their social skills. In my opinion, it is very important to have good social skills, regardless of your personality type. All in all, this was definitely a very good article, and empowering as well.

Andy on August 05, 2011:

The following sentence from the article doesn't make sense, to me at least: "The extroverted woman may like to flirt with the party guy, but she will never take him seriously, because he's too similar which bores her silly." It's a bit like saying two people who are passionate about tennis won't play each other in a game because they share the same passion?

This is too simplistic; I prefer the Myers Briggs personality type which addresses other aspects besides introversion and extroversion in order to more accurately describe people. But even this is not precise. For example my type generally describes my personality, but some small points are probably different. Everyone is unique. Anyway this theory has helped me better under how I relate to people, and how I might have a better chance at starting a relationship with a special person.

Beau on February 24, 2011:

Sooo true. Sometimes people I don't like talk to me and think im just shy, really i just don't want to waste my time chatting to them. But we can keep it that way, at least it doesn't make them feel bad... Also people always think im weak because i let people just get away with small things, really i just don't think its worth wasting my energy. If I really wanted something my way, Ill make it go the way I want.

Girl on November 02, 2010:

To be dreadfully honest i like introverted men, doesn't matter if they get labelled "introverted". Im a party girl, but at the same time enjoy my moments by myself too.

I hope to find an introverted man who enjoys the same things as me. Maybe introverted men have a secret wild side in bed, that extroverted men don't have. Extroverted men probably do it like porn stars, but introverted men add the foreplay and romance, that's so much better.

On the other side, you'll always know that an introverted man wont suffocate you and you both will have wonderful moments of solitude, because you both need some thinking time and alone time. Its like a perfect match made in heaven. I just hope if i find an introverted man, he will be good in bed, the extroversion and partying manners don't really matter to me. In the end the fire in the bedroom needs to stay strong.

Dave on November 01, 2010:

This sounds great, I just hope its true. So often you see people on a dating site talking about how fun, energetic and passionate they are. Its frustrating because I think they'll be bored with me. Now I hear that we introverts are sexy? Who knew?

Laura on October 14, 2010:

I am an intense extrovert. I love the party, and if I can't find one, I easily make one appear.

This means I'm constantly surrounded by extroverted men. The truth of it is, I'm out there to watch them chase me. The only guy I'm looking for is the one who stands confidently, quietly, in the background. The one who appears to be observing the situation and mulling it over.

That turns me on. Like crazy.

In fact, I came to this site hoping I could begin to understand the thoughts of those introverted men that I always find myself drooling over.

I will never chase any man like I'll chase an introvert.


bos on September 23, 2010:

This is inspirational. I'd mislaid my introverted personality, completely deserted it, and in the process forgot what a "bad-ass" I used to be. It seems counter-intuitive to withdraw and go back to your introverted "source" to gain or regain confidence, but that's exactly what's required.

05teu12 on September 09, 2010:

i am still in high school know and an introvert... it is so fustrating to see the other boys getting the girls.. i hope what this says is true and everything changes later on..

South african boy on July 28, 2010:

It is by fate that i landed here in this site, i just cant believe others expirience this too! Im 17 and ive been an introvert my whole life. Some times i feel very isolated by my peers, class mates, and my teachers. I do get depressed sometimes, but then i like who i am. I do get dissed by my extroverted peers about my uniqueness, and some extroverted girls do kinda diss my uniqueness, but then those other extroverted girls do have an interest in me. One beautiful popular girl who likes to come to me and hug me 4 sum reason, pointed out that i have sexy eyes, haha, yep and i didn even have to approach the girl, i chat to her now. But then introverts rule. U don have to invent some pick up line to get a girl to talk to u, all u gotta do is be ur quiet self,. I do agree that popular dudes get most girls, and introverts get the least, but then intr0verts will have a girlfriend the longest, i remember grade7, had this girl 4 the whole year, too bad we split up when we had different high schools,

rusticyeti on June 21, 2010:


You really jumped on some truth here. I have felt introverted my whole life and used to think I had to BE SOMEONE ELSE to get any girls. But then, as I forgot about that stuff, focused on what I really liked to do, cultivated my thought, ideas, and dreams, and spent time happy in my own world, I began to notice girls staring at me from afar, girls talking with me and literally flirting with and touching me as if they can't control what they are doing, or looking at me with bug eyes as if they want to jump on me and f*&k me right there hahaahah.

Excellent stuff. Keep up your work, bro!

zuks on June 20, 2010:

very true! I'm an introverted male, and can see much admirations from women than I bargain for, a couple of women have honestly told me they would die if I don't marry them. It gets so weird, on the contrary I think I'm not doing much for them, I just hope they won't die, :)

N. on April 30, 2010:

As an introverted woman, I can honestly say that I agree with the author of this post. As I've found, introverted men are among the most genuine, and therefore the most attractive, to me.

Dominic on April 29, 2010:

This article is true man.

I'm a beautiful man those girls love me but they hide and act like oh nothing just doing my thing or whatever. I know what those girls are thinking. They love introverts.

You think your the bomb because I rolled you a joint.

shivanthing on April 26, 2010:

This is the best thing i've ever read.

im an introvert- and talk when I want to talk. people label me as un-socialable, stalkerish, and shy. Hell- ill talk for hours on end... When I want to. And if your being childish and boorish- I'll have mental images of an anvil being dropped on that guy's head. And ill laugh and I'll care less.

No im not mean- I just like people who are serious. Being in high school is tough because of this. And kids knowing kids have yet to grow up and understand these things about people. As well as yet become mature to understand what being an adult means.

Of course- I don't chase woman- I adore and appreciate them- It'll take time to ask her out though- that's for sure- for anyone at that. And it's only usually one or two women im looking at anyway- if it were all- i'd be hopeless and in despair.

Besides- I like nice girls- who wants a who## bit## anyway? Hell- not me. And if you do- forget it, you will have no life. Get real.

Some lady on fb right now I like- maybe ill just start a convo- she knows who I am- and that should be enough. Time to be open with her. Cuz ill mean it. (Better not preach this to her though... she'll think im crazy! :/

uh on March 29, 2010:

in continuation due to being restricted in characters. ---

Now obviously, being the nice guy her boyfriend was, this never happened. She then just plain old broke up with him. After that the asshole, being the one who understood her better than anyone (this is true because he is smart), plain old didn't care about her and broke up with her. She then went on to go out with another man and then i lost any contact with her. No, im not the quiet guy in the story. The moral of this story is that you want to get with another woman who is the same as you and understands you, and if you're autismic you can forget about that. Its not too big of a deal anyway, but we all know people with anxiety will most definitely unintentionally make a big deal. Even if you're introverted when it comes to talking, you have to talk a bit to get around. You'd be surprised how much you can speak your mind when your mind and body arent attacked by anxiety. Research psychology terms, that helped my anxiety a bit, plus life experience and being friends with assholes. Only be friends with an asshole if he/she (she being the female counterpart called the bitch)if they actually want to be your friend. This doesn't apply to opposite gender. Its a good idea to seek professional help because im lucky to have been able to cure most of my anxiety without the professionals. Sorry if i repeated stuff from the article, im actually going to read it now.

errr on March 29, 2010:

I didn't finish reading because I could tell that it's a bunch of mumbo-jumbo bullshit. There are different areas of being introvert or extrovert. For example, a person might be an extrovert in the sense of being talkative, but might also be an introvert in the concept of only thinking about ones self in the process. You don't need to be shy to be an introvert in the sense of thoughtfulness or talkativeness. Shyness is a problem often associated with anxiety. Anxiety is not good. One thing's certain, if you know a lot about human psychology, you know that anxiety should be avoided as much as possible. Now let me do some explaining before the conclusion information. The Lord may be watching over us and answering our prayers, but it doesn't mean we can sit back and wait for things (or does it?). Anyway, maybe Gods guiding you to not be shy, so go with it. Im going to tell you a story, and it may come off as sexist, even though im not sexist, im just telling a story, a true story. I once knew a girl who liked quiet men, and she started a relationship with one. She referred to him as a nice guy.

Apparently that's what she likes, nice quiet men. This girl was also a partier, and came of as nice also exluding the bad stories she told. One day a good old asshole came along and understood her personality. She said to this man "ill wait until he does something mean and break up with him

Extroverted Girl on November 26, 2009:

This article is ringing very true for me right now. I'm desperately attracted to an introvert... mysterious, charming, deep... I just want to know - how do I win HIM over?

chief on June 25, 2009:

ur the man for this article...really put everything in perspective....anytime i need something to lift my spirits imma pull this article up...thanx

john on May 26, 2009:

This is all quite true. I'm an introvert as well.

Personally, I've never worried about chasing women, glory or whatever the hell else everyone wants.. Seems that all those things come to you when your not trying to find them..

The real key to being a happy introvert is patience.

Jeremy on February 09, 2009:

Thanks man this is really a good article. Everyone always classifies certain people as different because they are introverts so were considered "weird". But in fact we are the most deep in thought, the most self aware, and the most self-improving people. But i also recognize you need certain extroverted qualities to survive in this world and there's nothing wrong with that.

Al on February 08, 2009:

Great article but there's one problem; I'm a gay introvert. Does the same apply to exroverted men too?

dd on January 22, 2009:



ShawnK on December 12, 2008:

Thank you for more "real" datting tips, go to

Anon on December 11, 2008:

Just Amazingly true

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