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When Guys Stop Texting - When He Goes Missing in Action

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.


What Are His Motives For Stopping Communication Suddenly?

I'm going to be blunt here: He doesn't have one. He's just got better things to do and to be completely brutal, he isn't thinking about you.

That's a harsh reality and something us girls struggle with. We think there has to be a deep reason for their lack of contact. Whilst you were getting several texts a day, you're now completely dropped. He's busy, he's out with his friends, he's working, he's sleeping.....

If he's been texting you periodically but not regularly, then he's lost interest. If he was only texting you every now and again, then he probably wasn't that interested in the first place. He was just killing time, you were a distraction from everyday life.

When He Stops Texting Abruptly

When you've been in regular contact and he's been into you (or seemingly) it can mean one of two things: Either he has a very short attention span or something has upset him. Now that can be something you've said or something in his head that only he understands!

In most ways men are pretty simple characters, but sometimes they aren't. They do have issues and they do suffer insecurities just as we do. I'm not saying that either of these things is the case in your situation, but they are a possibility. Perhaps your guy is sensitive and took offence at something you said only he never bothered to tell you, because hey, that would be the sensible thing to do, so he won't be doing that, like anytime....ever.

Women are far more open to talking about things that have upset them. Men either try to ignore it or they throw their toys out of the pram in protest. Stopping communication when they know this will hurt and confuse you serves a purpose for them.

Don't Keep Texting Him

Stop texting him! This is important, as you will only push him further away and you will feel rubbish into the bargain.

It's tough to take it when a guy stops texting and calling for sure. But this guy, he is not for you. If you have to work hard to keep him interested then you will always have to work hard to keep him in play, and who has the energy or the inclination for that?

Firstly, cease contacting him. Do other things. See your friends and chat to other men. Not in a revenge sort of way. You just want to open up your view a little. You'll be getting clouded vision if you insist on more and more of the same. All you are doing when you continually text a guy who doesn't text you back is talking to yourself. He may have even blocked or deleted you as a contact.

The last thing you want to do is let him think that you are quite happy for him to treat you that way. He will lose all respect for you, if he actually had any in the first place.

Delete, Delete, Delete

If you haven't heard from him for a while, the you can safely assume he's busy doing other things. Sure, he will probably come back at some point. When you've started to move on he will call or text. This is when you'll most probably cave in and start the same cycle off all over again. So with this probability in mind, DELETE.

Remove him from your contacts. Some people will tell you to block him from all social media too. I don't advocate doing that because that's more of an 'in the moment' thing and it says I still need your attention.

I can almost guarantee that if you block him, you will pretty soon un-block him anyway.

Texting Isn't Real Life

A text is not real life. Everything these days (god I sound old) is all too easily done online or over a text.

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We need to actually communicate with REAL people. If the majority of your contact with this guy was done via texting then he was only ever an idea.

If He's Into You You'll Know

We always know. It's pretty obvious that when a guy stops texting he's lost interest. We do know that really, we just can't accept it because no-one likes being ditched in favour of something or someone else, or nothing in particular.

Some men get off on the excitement of texting. When you're new to them, they're into you and want to chat all of the time. They can charm you in black and white and make you feel special. But when that initial excitement has worn off, they are already looking for someone else to give their virtual affection to. It can become a bit of an addictive habit. They enjoy the attention they get from you, until they become bored and ready to move on.


Evie Sparkes (author) on May 14, 2019:

Loving those quotes! We live in a virtual world and no doubt things will become even more so over the coming years. Unless there is a zombie apocalypse and we're all forced to speak to each other if we want to survive!

dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 14, 2019:

"A text is not real life." So true!

"We need to actually communicate with REAL people. If the majority of your contact with this guy was done via texting then he was only ever an idea." - Amen!

These days it seems like people have forgotten the primary purpose of a phone is for verbal conversations whereby you can hear each other's tone, inflections, sighs, and laughter. Not lol!

In fact to some extent texting is about contacting people you actually don't really want to talk to! Some people text because they fear being rejected verbally or in person. It's like asking a girl to "hang out" as opposed to go out on a date. The more "casual" or "informal" we make the communication the less importance it takes on. It's no wonder people do a lot of "ghosting" these days.

Truth of the matter they never established a (real connection)! They were simply pen pals/"text mates" not "soulmates".

In fact it's possible to carry on more than one text conversation with two different people at the same time. That's not special. At least with a phone call someone has to go to voicemail.

Another interesting thing is how often people see texting as their only form of communication. They will complain about sending a text and not getting a reply rather than actually {calling} the person.

Texting for adults is what (walkie talkies) are for children.

Sometimes two people sitting in the same room will text each other!

"If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot." - Anonymous

"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

- Oscar Wilde

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