Jennifer has a B.A. in Communications. She is an expert with self- help. She studied two years of marriage and family therapy.
The temptation of texting your ex after a relationship is over.....
I know you feel lonely. I know you go on social media and you see all of your friends in relationships. I know you wonder "When am I going to meet someone?" I understand how you are tempted to pick up the phone just because your ex is comfortable. We have all been there before, and he makes you feel good, but here are some tips on what to keep in mind before going back to the man who tore your heart into pieces.
Remember, what went wrong the first time
If he broke your heart once, he would do it again. As much as we want to think that people will change, they usually do not. I understand you have high hopes because, you still have feelings for him. It just might be that he is not ready. You just have not come to terms with it yet. Sure, it will be great for the night but that's all that it will last. Once it is over, your heart will be back into a million pieces, and then you will wonder how you made the mistake you made. The handwriting was there on the wall. It is better to be alone than to choose the wrong person.
Consider the issues the both of you could have if you do talk again
You will always be walking on eggshells. Like I said previously you will not get the outcome you want, unless he magically does a 180. It can happen but it hardly ever does. It has to take something huge for someone to get a wakeup call and grow up fast. If you are with a major game player and go back to them you are always going to be constantly overthinking "Who is that women he is talking to?" because like I said previously he did it once, he will do it again.
Ask yourself "Is it really worth it?"
The fights will be the same over and over. "Why have I not met your parents? Why am I not allowed to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding? Why can't we take cute pics on social media?" He just is not ready for a real relationship. Trying to convince him every day will not do him any good either. Neither will the waiting game. You both want different things and that is a reality check that both of you have to face. It hurts but once it is done the healing process can begin.
Sure you love him, but the question remains do you love him more than you love you? Do you love him enough to let him keep disrespecting you and using you? Do you love him enough to keep using you as an option and not giving you his all, when you clearly know there is someone better suited for you who can make all your dreams come true? Why are you settling?
Take time and focus on yourself, before you finally pick up that phone
So next time you feel tempted to pick up the phone, easy do not. Pick up a book instead of try a new a hobby. I understand it is hard but ask yourself this: Do you really want to keep persuading someone to be with you who does not really want to be with you? Do you really want to be with someone who is only interested in just one thing? Do you really want to go out with someone who you are gung ho over and they have their eyes all over every female? If the answer is no, then find someone who is worth your time. It may mean being alone for now but love yourself in the process and eventually the right man will come your way. Love is not a race. It is a team effort and it takes two people who want to build with each other. No game playing, no lies and no other options.
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We are intelligent beings and know right from wrong. Except when it comes to texting an ex.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Jennifer Panaro